ANSWERS: 23
  • i had always wanted to break up with him but i felt like i couldn't cause he was real sensitive. i met someone else and felt an instint connection. i knew it wasn't fair to him so after a 7 month realationship i finaly did it and am happy as ever
  • I was married to the man 15 years. He was mean to me and very abusive, but great with his kids, until we had a boy, then as they grew older he started saying things to the girls to make them feel bad, and trying to make them less important. I could not let him make them feel less important than anyone else, like he did me, so I left. Of course there was a huge fight and I had to have him thrown in jail for hitting me with the butt of a gun, but that was just the icing on the cake. It turned out he was so weak he did not fight me on anything, and after 18 years he has nothing to do with his daughters and his son no longer speaks to him because of the things he did. I never told the kids about any of the abuse, they came to me when they were older because they had questions, and my oldest daughter did remember a lot of it.
  • I can't realy speak for myself but I did grow up in an abusive home, both for myself, my siblings, and my mother. Being an adult now I believe that a person can only take so much before they either snap and do something outside the laws or pack up everything and just leave. More then once we picked up what we can cary and walked away. In my honest opinion it's alot more difficult to just up and leave on your own. What makes you strong enough are your friends, family, and most important of all. Your children. With their safety in mind, maternal/paternal instincts comes into play and makes you strong enough to leave that abusive relationship. Support in one way or another makes the blow alot easier to take. You should never let a person rule your life.
  • When i realized i didn't have to obey my mom and that she wasn't in control or that family isn't important or necessary to live a normal life especially if all they do is drive me to suicide. What made me strong enough to leave was taking LSD for about a week, every day, then trying to kill myself. The experiance allowed me to view my situation from a third persons perspective. and gave me the power to change who I was.
  • The truth! People who live with violence are in the bondage of lies! The TRUTH IS; You are worth something! You DON'T deserve this! You CAN make it on your own! You are smart..............YOU CAN be happy!
  • He started fighting my family also
  • Therapy, two years worth.
  • My son was 4 at the time and he was playing in the living room when his dad put my head through a table. My head was cut open and bleeding. My son came to me and asked me if I was ok and I replied yes. My son went on to continue playing as if nothing happened. At that moment I realized that this had became normal to him. I left that night to get my head sewed up and press charges against him. I never went back to him. My son is now a senior in high school and he continues to struggle with his emotions about the abuse he witnessed for four years but I am so glad I left before we created another abuser.
  • I was married to a verbal and emotional abuser AND just left another verbally and emotionally and physically abusive relationship. When I left my marriage, what it took for me to do that was that he threatened to bash my then 19 year old daughters head it. We had been married for 11 years at that point and had separated numerous time and I always went back. It has been 15 months since I left and I would not go back for anything now. The reason I left my last relationship is because I had gotten to the point of being suicidal from having to confront the fact that I was going through the same thing all over again. I currently attend college on-line and my ex bf would have a fit every time I turned on my laptop to do my classes. It became apparent that I would never graduate if I stayed with him. Just before I left, I reminded myself that I would have to face the same painful feelings over again so I prepared myself for it. Although it still hurts often, I know I made the right decision. Hope this answers your question. Jen
  • When we were at his brothers house for Christmas and His mother called me a bitch. After we went to bed, I started to cry. Instead of asking me what was wrong and offering comfort he pinned me to the bed, put his hands around my throat and choked me til I blacked out. The last thing I remembered was him saying " I wish you would put that bullet in your head because I am sick of your shit." I realized that my kids could lose me and him in one more of his rages. Me dead and him in prison. I didn't want that for them so I left him.
  • Sick and tired of being sick and tired. When someone else doesn't want to change... No sence in dragging yourself through their problems and making them yours too. It is possible to love someone, and yet still not decidely share in their miserable mindset...
  • The defining moment for me was having my leg broken, not the actual doing, not him taking me to hospital, not the lying to the nurse... When they put that x-ray on that board and showed me in black & white my broken bones all love for that man was gone, in an instant, I dont know where it went but it never came back. I look at the situation now, even though I have lost some use of my knee and Im glad he did it, because if he hadnt I may still be with him now
  • when i realised i can do better than this, and i love myself more than i love him
  • When I was 14 I started dating a sophomore in high school, he started abusing me from the start. I was too afraid to talk about it or leave him for fear of being hurt worse or causing a friend to get hurt. We had been dating for almost a year when I went to a gig with him. Him spiking my drink and sharing my body with his buddies while I was practically incompasitated by whatever dug he used was what did it. He had tried to rape me, he beat me, threatened me, called me every name under the sun, shared lovely fake stories about me and used my child abuse as a weapon against me, and I let this all happen. But when I hung out with his friends and him after a gig and he spiked my drink then used me and had the nerve to share my body with others, I was through. I don't know why, but it happened.
  • And i thought i was going through hard times!! Much respect people...your stories are truly mind blowing, i really admire your courage to speak so openly about them...I know these will inspire loads to do the right thing, stand up for yourself, never let anyone putt you down and always speak your mind out :)
  • Hi,I could tell you sick things that I went through when I was younger.When you are in a bad relationship the abuser makes you think it's your fault then you believe it is you.The abuser pulls you down to his level and the shackles you bear are within you.You have no shackles,you must find inner strengh to love yourself more.Don't ask others how to leave someone.You know,your a strong person,don't forget who you are!!!!
  • I never reached that point. He left me, for another woman. Nicest thing that guy ever did for me. Why did I stay? Because the church I was attending at the time (which I no longer attend) was counseling me to stay. Men are the head of the household, women submit. Children need their daddy. Just pray, and God will deliver me from my situation. Well, I gotta say that last part did happen. :)
  • Oh there could have been a few but this was the cherry. We had been out for dinner we were heading to the cinema but he decided he'd try and sayt things to upset me on the way there, I didn't react and he became worse. He then cancelled the cimema and we went home where he proceeded tp work himself up with weight ect. Then spend the whole night trying to torment me. I got up the next day and he picked up a knife and went aroound the appartment asking me if I wanted him to go and kill his mother and his sister. I just sat there finally he put the knife to his throat and asked me if I wanted him to kill himself and said he would do it. I was horrified I had just lost a baby and his abuse was worse than ever. I left and he went off to his parents for dinner after that I could never look at him the same way I knew he had put on all of this just to shock and control me as I was feeling better in myself after months on grief. He had wanted to get married but there was no way I would ever trust him to be stable it would be only a question of time before he completely battered me and any potential children. I did love him but I loved myself more and never wanted to look back a few years down the line at a road full of chaos and say I saw it early on and let it come to this. That's what you must think about, why should you take abuse and how can you let any lovely children live like that.
  • Knowing my kids were old enough to ubderstand me leaving was not cause I loved them any less it was time for me to leave my wife after over twenty years of being hit. I am now in a wonderful relationship with a woman who was also in an abusive relationship and finally knew it was time to leave hers also. It takes alot to come to this but no matter, if your the abused you have to be ready to move on.
  • Seeing the pot of hot coffee heading toward my head.
  • To be honest, i don't really know... it was one really big fight that now seems just petty. I packed the car up with a lot of clothes and important belongings and headed to Mom's (with my 11 month old daughter). In the process of healing, not knowing if I'd go back I learned A LOT of things about him. I now realize that little break was the best thing I ever needed... I will never be with him again. His exgf and I have been emailing... I have discovered he was just as abusive to her. I realized as much as he promised he would change, he will always be that way. I love my daughter WAY too much to have her be around that. He continued to live in my apartment while I was at my Mom's (he had a key, but i was the only name on the lease)... after he heard I was moving out, he trashed the place and left the door wide open for anyone to take what they wanted. I got a restraining order and I'll never go back again. Sometimes the smartest thing is to open up to your family. They'll never let you go back to the abuse. They'll remind you everyday what he did to you.
  • I was tired of her nagging/verbal abuse. When she attacked me physically I put her sorry **** out, divorced her, and now she's living in poverty.
  • Well i never had the chance to leave him ..while i had a miscarriage he left me.. after the breakup i was in so much shock i had to see a therapist. and he told me that my ex had a personality disorder and that he cannot change. then and only then did i see what a monster my ex was and that he never loved me. I was so used to being brainwashed by him i couldn't even think straight he had me thinking it was my fault i got beat up or hurt mentally. right now im still recovering and i'm not strong yet. but im stronger than i was while i was in the relationship thats for sure. its hard to heal when he still tries to get into my head by trying to control me even though we have broken up. the most devastating thing thats has ever happened to me is domestic violence.

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