why do women mistreat men? insecurity? dominance? spoiled? intimidation? dishonest? deceptive? selfishness? or just plain a 'cruel,cruel heart'? it goes both ways...not just a gender thing...its a 'character' thing...

I think why people mistreat other people comes down to the same reason: fear. Fear and insecurity. As for why some men mistreat women, there is the same reason as above, but there is the added reason of societal norms: the patriarchy. Probably their dads taught them how to treat women, and they will teach their sons the same; and the media doesn't exactly work against that kind of thing.

Some times they are provoked. If that is not the case then the reasons can be many. It's a complex issue. Some because that's what they learned growing up and some because they have issues themselves that they cannot control or address.

Its not a gender thing,as thatJustme says, but choice is a dangerous thing. You have to be able to spot the bad'uns.

People mistreat people in general. If you allow someone to mistreat you they will continue to do just that (mistreat you). Don't allow yourself to be a position to be mistreated. When a person sees how much you respect yourself and will not allow anyone to mistreat or disrespect you trust and believe they won't. I have come to realize that the times I got mistreated was because I stuck around way too long and it got worse for me not better. We are not put on this earth to fix anyone or change anyone but we do have the say so in not allowing ourselves to be mistreated. :)

Not all men mistreat women, only the jerks do and even though there is probably an underlying reason, there is still no excuse.

Some Men, as well as some Woman, are born arse holes. That's what arse holes do.

From my own experience with an abusive man. I would say that some of the behavior's are actually learned from their own parents. My stepfather abused me and my mom. I have met his grandfather who actually abused his wife. And his father treated his mother like crap. So I do believe that some of the behaviors are learned from watching their own parents. That is why I highly stress that parents get their kids away from abusive relationships no matter what. But I also believe that men that do abuse also have big insecurity issues within themselves, and with others.

Well I am or was in a 2 year relationship. We both have insecurities. I know in the beginning of the relationship that when I met him I was involved. I had broke that off to be with this man I fell in love with. It took him less than a year till he cheated and lied to me. When I found out about the multiple women and would ask him he would get angry and just curse me out. He always would accuse me. I would bring it to his attention. I lived with him and he was talking to women on the phone every night late. he was first verbally abusive then he got physical because I noticed his mood changes, his attitude toward me, his employment change, and how he was changing. Then I confronted him, moved out. He says he loves me enough to hurt me. Why is that? I used to be scared of him. Now I am just trying to accept him for what and who he is. He has some issues beside being a addict in recovery. He constantly accusing me of having sex with men from the fellowship which isn't true I have only been with him since the beginning of the relationship. I would like to believe he loves me, and don't want to hurt me for his thoughts or his reality. I know in all my relationship they have been abusive in some way.