ANSWERS: 44
  • I think you should do what you want with your life, it is not wrong, it is extremely intelligent, to think they way you are. They basically said you are a waste of life, because it is your life you will be living, mean!
  • It is wrong to have kids before marriage. Its not a wise decision.
  • It's wrong to live your life according to what other's say/think. Do your own thing.
  • Only you know what is best for you. If this is what you want, then that should be enough. You only get one life, you should live it the way that makes you happiest.
  • I used to think the same and I delayed getting married. I have to say I did live my life before and I don't regreat it, But, now, I am struggling with getting pregnant and I want nothing more than to be a mom. Take time to really evaluate what you want- if you do not want to get married or have kids, there is nothing wrong with that; you life your life for yourself and nobody else.Just make sure this is what you really want before it is too late. Best of luck:)
  • Only you know what's right for you. You have to live your life and you have to live with the decisions you make. Your family just needs to learn to trust you to live your life as you feel you should and you have to trust your own judgment and not let what others think make you second guess yourself.
  • If you don't even want the family life how good of a wife/mother would you likely be? and how happy would you be?
  • Don't let people pressure you into anything you don't want to do. I never had any interest in getting married or having kids either. Why do something to make others happy. Most people want you to do that so your life can be as miserable as theirs is. It's just jealousy.
  • Awesome. I feel it's my duty not to have kids....and pretty much most women my age are hearing the loud tick of their bio-clock... Refreshing to hear someone sensible enough to listen to their gut!! ++
  • The world is not going to collapse if you don't marry or procreate. There are plenty of others doing that now. If you are happy being on your own instead of doing what others think you should do, then carry on! Don't let anyone else tell you how you should live YOUR life.
  • *looking around room for camera* Really Weird, LOL. :-)
  • First may I say that I respect your honesty. NO, it is not wrong. Kids & motherhood are not for everyone. You'd wind up resenting the kids & you would all be miserable
  • It's your life. You should live as you like. My daughter has neither children nor husband and is not planning on changing that soon. She supports herself and usually has a BF either living with her or living seperately.
  • I would much rather that you stay single without children if that is the way you feel. Too many feel pressured into marriage and or children and then abuse their spouse and children. I'm not saying that you would be like that at all. I'm just making an observation. You need to do what is right for you, but please explain it to your family so that they can understand your point of view. It might lessen the pressure on you.
  • No its not wrong. I don't want kids, and probably will never get married because too many women want kids. It would be even more stressful if kids were involved.
  • no i don't think it's wrong. it takes alot of courage to actually admit this. as society has imposed the so called rules, of get married have kids etc. i personally do not want to have children. i am quite selfish and i don't want the reponsibility of looking after a child. when you have a child you give up your life and put them first. i admire parents but i know i cannot do it myself. my parents want me to get married and have children. i've tried telling them a few times i dont want children, but they just think i am being *silly* and brush the issue aside and continue their *search* for finding me a husband *ha! good luck* i wouldn't mind getting married but only IF i found the right guy that i loved. but then the problem is most guys want to have children, so then the issue comes around to children. unless i meet someone that i love and does NOT want to have children, then i can see myself getting married. but i dont see that happening i am just focusing on myself and saying to myself that it is OKAY to be single and NOT want to have children. i dont tell my friends because none of them understand and think i am *weird* i keep this a secret as most people think it's taboo to NOT want to have children or get married. i would not get married just to please my parents or for society/family. they might think i am weird or something wrong with me because i am 30 and unmarried and single. but life isn't always turn out to be A-B
  • It is entirely your choice. You should be allowed to have the freedom to live as you wish. Do not let the expectations of others ruin your life. You have to live it, they do not.
  • No, I don't think it's wrong at all. I personally don't want kids or to get married either. I was engaged at one moment of time, but it obviously didn't happen. I also raised my 3 younger brothers from when I was 6yrs old to 12yrs old... now they palm off their children to me. I don't need kids of my own when I'm looking after every other kid in my family.
  • If you have no desire to marry that is your personal choice. Some people love being single and love that life.
  • The state the world is in, the more people there are like you the better, IMO. We are all different, and we should be free to make our own life choices without pressure from others.
  • it sounds as if you were thoughtful in your assessment of yourself, what you want out of life, and your envisioned role in society. i think you are on the correct path for you at this moment in time. why follow conventions if you are going to be miserable as a result? you are the one in control of your destiny, and you shouldnt live your life for anyone else. tell your family if they love and care about you, they will support your decision and not harass you. your family feels the way it does because they have seen firsthand the rewards of marriage and kids. but that doesnt mean its right for you. and it doesnt mean that your life isnt just as meaningful. dont take the road less traveled by...make your own road. i think the best roads in life are the ones with heart. follow your heart. it will lead to happiness, fulfillment and ultimately a very rewarding life.
  • no way. If you dont feel like you want kids then dont. i look at it this way. i would rather not have kids then to have them and mess them up
  • No, it's not. What's wrong is marrying the wrong person or for the wrong purpose and having children for the wrong reasons. Kudos to you for realizing that, Oprah Winfrey has done the same in case you haven't noticed and there's a lot to be said about that
  • Good for you! There are too many pets that need adoption. Send your family a picture of you and write " this is what an independent woman looks like." on the back.
  • I think you should follow your gut. Your family seems to think that procreation is the meaning of life, but you have the right to decide what the meaning of life is for yourself. I don't think every woman would make a great mother/wife. Both of these roles take a lot of work, energy, time, commitment. I think a lot of women find themselves in these situations and make the best of what they have, which is fine I guess, but then a lot of them don't do very well at it and it would have been better if they'd thought things through ahead of time and avoided it all. It sounds like you are thinking things through and that is a good thing!! If you think you wouldn't make a good wife/mother, don't force yourself into those roles. There are other roles you are good at. (Everyone is good at something.) Spend time looking for them. Don't try to convince your family that they are wrong. Instead try to convince them to leave you in peace about the issue. Try to convince them that when they tell you you're wasting your life (in anger or pity), they are hurting your feelings. Try to remind them that they love you and respect you (because surely, deep down, they do), and that they're not showing that when they nag you about a husband/children.
  • Why would this be so wrong? at the end of the day it's upto you how you wish to live you're life.Think of it this way you don't see many people who have great careers married with children do you ? it's you're choice do what you want to do.
  • Follow your heart. I feel women are a tad selfish for bringing little ones into a world wherein they have no complete control or emotional security themselves. It is an intelligent choice, keeps your options open, maybe somewhere along life’s path you will meet someone and feel complete, maybe you would want a child for a number of reasons or maybe you are perfectly happy living productively on your own. My mother didn’t want me to have more than one or two children as she felt trapped although she never showed this. It is a reckless and cruel world, and until it is perfected we should not create. Children from divorced homes, raised by parents who themselves are pressurised and over burdened suffer so much, and are scarred for life. I sometimes ask others why do we procreate, societal expectations, because it is the one thing, some create children to deep a bond although they find the outcome contrary to their will. Children do not strengthen bonds, rather they become the ball and chain, or burden of responsibility conjoining a union that is not entirely perfect. Children should be precious little creations much wanted and cherished. If you have children the greatest gift you can afford them is to love them, constantly keeping the lines of communication open, dedicating your time to nurturing little perfections. Alas it is not always so. In this modern world maybe we should seek to pioneer a path towards perfecting society and the world. I feel children are used horrendously as accessories surplus to a cause. Adults have greater options and are at free liberty to exercise personal choice, as long as you are happy.
  • Go for it, you can't let anyone else live your life for you. Do what you want to do, when you want to do it. You have that option if you never get married or have kids. I just might take that option with you.
  • No, it is not wrong. I have no interest in marriage or procreation. The former is outdated, and the latter is not an interest of mine.
  • No, it's rather mature of you to realize that as apposed to getting knocked-up then having to deal with something that you don't want.
  • no it isn't wrong. life is short and what really wastes your life is doing something they don't want you to do. it's your life and you should do what makes you happy. and its great that you want to support yourself in life. you need to tell your family that they should support you in whatever decisions you make.
  • It's your business and no one else's.
  • Of course not! I don't think I'll ever get married and I definitly never want children.
  • Yes from my early years I'd listen to everyone's expectations to marry and have kids. Back then I'd just be quiet but as time went by folks kept asking "when are you going to get married? Then "Why aren't you married?" "You only have so much time to have kids" FINALLY enough time went by and that was their answer. No Hubby no kids. I was open to marriage perhaps, but after having relationships I realized I prefer doing my own thing and don't need marriage. I come and go as I please, while my married, child burdened friends moan about their lives and what they are missing. Well they should have stood up for themselves instead of what society 'says' you are supposed to do. People used to ask my Mom "Don't you want Grandkids?" I think that is really RUDE. They knew by then I probably wasn't going to marry..so no Grandkids. What is my Mom to say "Yes and I will demand my kids and give me grandkids, not because they want kids, but because I want grandkids??? I meet more and more people who aren't having kids and the rate of single people is on the rise also.
  • No it isn't wrong. If you don't want to get married or have children then don't. You have to live your life your way.
  • I guarantee you that if you were male, you would not hear these things. Men are supposed to accomplish things, and women are supposed to support them and make babies. Bullshit. Wouldn't you rather live and contribute to the world yourself rather than living through other people? I know I would! So good on you for learning to think for yourself. There is so much to learn and do in life, and so many ways to contribute. Denying yourself this would be the true waste of life. Jane Austen never married. Neither did Emily Dickenson, Louisa May Alcott, Susan B. Anthony, writer Gertrude Stein, and painter Mary Cassatt. Queen Elizabeth I, the famous virgin queen, never reproduced or married, and was one of the most powerful women who ever lived. Oprah Winfrey has never married nor had children, and she's one of the most powerful women on Earth today. What does that tell you? There's a much longer list of people who are what you call childfree-by-choice at this website: http://www.childfreebychoice.com/history.htm
  • Hiya, i'm back here again. this is like a safe haven for me. my parents are on a serious husband search and are now using the internet to look for a husband for me. its driving me mad! i know that if i tell them straight up, that i do NOT want to get married, they will just not accept it and think i am being melodramatic, so i just pretend to go along with it, and say yah okay whatever. i know not very mature and ideal, but saves me having to deal with it. right now i'm studying and i need to focus on my studies. and they want me to pass my exams too, and putting alot of pressure on me to finish my studies. i am going to be 31 and they think i'm over the hill, and i should be married by now. but i really dont want to get married. i know that if i get into a discussion with them about this, it will just cause friction. so i just ignore them for the most time. i am happy being single and living my own life. marriage isnt something that just means happily ever after. and i dont want children either. maybe i will feel different in a few years who knows. but i know right now, i dont want to get married. and it freaks me out, that they are searching for someone that they can introduce me to, so i get to know him, and decide if i want to marry him. it just seems like such a ridiculous way of going about it. how can you get to know someone with the huge burden of marriage ontop of your heads. if i were to meet someone naturally and a friendship developed and then we developed feelings and then wanted to get married that might be different, but this whole actively searching to get married , really annoys me, and i dont want any of it.
  • I think that you should do what YOU want to do. Having kids and getting married is not for everyone. Infact they took a survey and most people wouldn't have kids again. I say get a good education and travel or do what you want and if later on you decide to you will have a good education if you need it. Take Care.
  • noone should feel obliged to have a family... just because that is a source of happiness for me does not mean it is for everyone. tell your family they need to back off.
  • No, not at all. I don't think so anyway. And it's comforting to know I'm not the only one who feels that way. Just my choice - don't believe in marriage, still believe in falling in love, just not the concept that i need a paper to prove it. Maybe one day I will want to adopt, but that wouldn't be until muuuuch later on in life, AFTER i travel & accomplish everything i want to do first. not selfish - just honest.
  • It's not wrong at all. Contrary to social conventions, not all women are eager to get married and start a family, although people will pressure each other to do that because they are threatened by those who do not conform. I commend you for having the self-awareness to realize that marriage and family life are not for you. Do what you think is best for yourself, and don't let your family coerce you to do something that you don't want to do. If they ask any nosy questions, just say, "I'm taking the time to focus on my career, and I am happy with my life as it is." Unless they are stuck in a time warp from the 1950's, they should respect you for that. If they don't, just ignore them. After all, you are the one who must live with the results of your decisions, not them. P.S. If by chance I already answered this question, then I am sorry.
  • everyone is here to walk their own path in life, be what ever it is, and where ever it takes them, along the way, our journeys can unexpectedly change, go in completely different directions than we first thought, and its no ones place to dictate or direct where that path is going except you ! :)
  • Spending your life as you want to spend it is certainly not a waste of your life. Forcing yourself to marry and have children when it isn't what you want would be a waste of your life, your spouse's and your children's.
  • Only about 50 percent of people are suitable for marriage and children. The rest do it to conform to social norms. Thats why so many people get divorced and let their children run wild. So enjoy life as a single person. If you change your mind in the future. SO what !. Life is for living not just surving.

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