ANSWERS: 23
  • I would say to your boyfriend what you have just said in your question.
  • bring the subject up with him, one night in with my boyfriend i was really restless and couldnt find anything to occupy my interest, he noticed, so i took that as an opportunity to address my worry that we are in danger of getting stuck in a rut and it might be nice to go out and do different things once in a while. then i asked if there was anything there was he wanted to do. he might want to do things too!
  • I'd casually mention that you want to try something new, or bring up a movie you want to see or a resturant you want to go/haven't been to in a long time. If there are any concerts or festivals nearby suggest going to them. I know how you feel, the same thing over and over again gets tiring.
  • How weird-- I have the exact same problem with my boyfriend!! Ha.. Well, I told him that I'm sick of sitting around like we're 35 with kids!! We're 20 and need to act like it. I told him that we don't experience enough, and we really should take advantage of the time that we have. Tell him that if you don't do fun stuff now, you'll both regret it later.
  • If you are bored with the RELATIONSHIP simply because you arent going out and doing things often enough, maybe you need to think about your relationship a bit more. I mean, if you have to find things to entertain yourselves constantly because you are bored with eachother.. meh. You might want to find someone you find more interesting as a person? Just a thought. ~+~
  • i have exactly the same problem except im 22 and this has been goin on for 8 years with my childhood sweetheart!!! i love him more than anythin but im startin to think the feeling isnt mutual bcos i wud do anythin for him an he wont even do simple things like go the pub for a drink with me or socialise with my friends. he doesnt want to do anythin at all, just sit in all the time ! his argument is "why do u want me to be unhappy and just sit there wishin i was at home" !!! my reply was "well i have done somethin i dont wanna do [stay in] every night for the past 8 years so i thnk its ur turn to be selfless!!" that was ages ago and nothin ever changes. i dont know what to do, we get on in everyother aspect of relationship except this major issue, i dont wanna give up the rlationship but he will never ever change an i dont even ask if he wants to take me out etc anymore cos i know what the answer will be. how doesn't he realise i am guna walk away one day an he'll never get another girlfriend who puts up with stayin in 24/7 ???? i have said this to him an he says if im not happy then i shud find a boyfriend who will want to go out etc [he is very stubborn]. why doesnt he appreciate me and wanna go out places with me??? !! arrrghhh! help people! i am gettin bored of this constant battle to have a decent life with him and im tryin not to let life pass me by. iv tried doin things with my mates instead but its not the same xxxxxxxx
  • I think the main problem, with relationships, is that people often assume that things should be done 'together' and there is nothing wrong with having a life "outside" of the relationship. If your partner doesn't want to do things outdoors, I would make plans to do them with other people (friends, family...) and have fun. Who knows, after he sees how much fun you're having or how "alive" you seem now that you're doing things outdoors, he may decide to join you. If not, then maybe after some time of spending outside the home being busy and living life, you'll welcome the occasional quiet time at home doing absolutely nothing with your partner :).
  • Im in the same boat, We do stuff ocasionally but only because i keep going on about doing stuff. It feels like I have to moan just to get some quality time out of him. I think that all you need to do is just explain to him how upset it makes you feel and if hes not really bothered about the situation then just explain to him that your gonna have to do something about it like leave or take a break. Breaks makeyou realise how much you both need each other =]
  • How about you make the suggestion where you make every Friday night (ot whatever day is best for both of you) date night? If he then says no to that, then i'm sorry i would seriously rethink the relationship.
  • maybe look at taking up a hobby together or suggest having ameal out or trip tothe cinema once a week or something? me and my boyfriend got togther on the 18th of the month so now whenever its the 18th we have a date. it keeps things interesting x
  • How long have you two been together? My experience tells me that you are in for a boring time with this guy so matter what you try. You can make suggestions, and sign up for classes, and rant and complain about it to him, but in the end, if he isn't initiating cool things to do, and is happy to just stay at home, that is who he is. There are party guys and homebound guys and everywhere inbetween, but what they are is what they are. If he changes, it will be to please you, and eventually, like if you guys get married, you will find yourself sitting with him at home, twiddling your thumbs once again. My advice? Ditch him.
  • I'm also in the same boat. He never takes me out. He works long hours, days, weeks, months, travels and doesn't call. I have failed in not calling for a week or two because he will also keep quiet. When I finally call, he acts as if things are normal, then we meet, he never knows why he doesn't call, but is working so terribly and getting tired. Oh geez. I keep on trying to break up with him, but it never works out because we always miss each other. WE never do stuff together other than him pushing me to work, focus on my studies; which is what I like about him. Its the third time I find out that he flew out of town, without him telling me. The latter, he said he doesn't have to tell me. I got mad and he excused himself from the phone as if putting me on hold, then I believe he hang on me. Then he text me to say I should stop with my nonsense.
  • Talk to him let him know or maybe plan a little suprise a night out somewhere he might like.
  • I'm exactly at the same spot. I've come so desperate as to trying to Google search atleast a dozen of times for someone who might have this same problem.. I love my boyfriend dearly, we have been dating for 1 year and he my best friend as well. Recently he got a job roofing 7-5 (we are still in highschool) and after he returns from work he is 'too tired' to go out or doesn't want to spend the gas money. After confronting him on this issue more than once, followed by a short break-up after one of the times, I decided this is just who he is and he wasn't going to change. I can easily overlook all of his flaws, except this one because it causes us so much trouble and affects our relationship. He said he was happy just staying home, and reminded me of all the fun and pleasure we find just relaxing with eachother which i agree with, but I am too am beginning to find our relationship boring. I can not find a reason why he wouldn't want to go out, but I am a very active person who values physical health and I just cannot stand to always be home. I refuse to believe 'chivalry is dead'. I'd do anything to be asked to a nice dinner or walk in the park by him without having to beg and desperately try to rearrange his schedule to make him atleast a bit satisfied. I'm sorry to not have any helpful advice to you women because I understand how frusterating this is.
  • Tell him that we have to start getting active or it's over. He'll get the message. Soon you guys will be back on track. Good luck!
  • Sometimes you realize that the two of you are just pieces of a different puzzle. I didn't have that exact problem, but I came to see that the things I looked for where definitely not the things he was looking for. Even if you love them, they might not change. You can never make anyone change, they can only change themselves. Its only fair to bring it up because he might not even realize he's doing something to upset you. I'm sorry to say it, but you might need to let him go. I think everyone is born with a soul mate (as cheesy as it is) and you just might not have found him yet. But if you can work it out, it just might be worth it after all.
  • i am in exactly the same boat. he is 5 years older than me and is happy staying in the house he says he is just happy being with me. i love him sooo much but i need more i need a social life both with him and apart i think this is healthy but he doesnt understand and thinks i want a single life when thats not what i meant at all. thing is im afraid to break up as i love him and dont want to be alone as dont have many friends as when we got together kinda spent all our time together and friends kinda gone now living their own lives i dont want to hurt him but i feel i need to break free and live a little im only 22 and never been on holiday or done any of the things to experience life i feel like life is passing me by going to work and sitting watching t.v. but i dont want to break his heart what the hell am i going to do? should i just keep quiet and leave things as they are to keep him happy or sould i try and salvage some kinda life?? ahhhhhhhhhhh is how i feel right now>>>>
  • i think you girls are complaining about nothing...i love spending quiet evenings at home with my mate...we love the same movies and we also like cooking togething and playing games together...things have gotten so expensive with gas and stuff.its much safer and cheaper to STAY at home...thank god you have a man that does not want to hang in the streets with his buddies but rather be home with you. Especially if he works...come on ladies...you are being very very selfish
  • Get him an answerbag account and show him this question?
  • my boyfriend is the same hes always busy at work and i want us to do something just us away from are 11 month oldbut he just says its a waste of money and theres no point so do what i did make up a pinic and tell him to get his lazy arse up and go to your local big park or find a sercluded spot and spend a romantic day out jus the 2 of you and if the spark has fizzled then just give up all together i did it and we try to make one on one time together when hes not tired or in work hun.
  • We play online games together, monapoly, watch movies, sex.....I did try do get mine out of the house at least for a walk in the park but we ended up both wanting to be home ;)
  • i hav the same problem too..he says that he like to meet me at his place or my place only cuz he doesn like to take to places where wired people are there.and we both r jus teenagers and i want to hav fun with him like going to movies,picnics but its like he wont do it until he wants too.he did take me out but its was like 6 months back that too inan expensive place were we won b able to afford all the time.i don kno wat to do.all the time hes out wid his friends roamin around havin fun,i mean he doesnt even let me meet his frineds becuz his friends all smoke pot all the time and i don and he doesn want to me hang out wid them.i love him and all and we hav been together for 2 and a haf years and last year i almost broke up wid him cuz he flunked in his examz and he cudn handle the stress of his studies and me.he said to me yesterday,he wants me and wants his space too but i hav always given him more space than ne other girlfrieds do..!!!i really don kno wwat to do..i cant decide
  • He is probably feeling the same thing - you need to develop some outside interests, both together and apart to remain interesting to each other! You may both be afraid to try other things out of fear that it will pull you apart. If so, your relationship is indeed shallow. Either fix it or move on.

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