ANSWERS: 37
  • I think if you want to marry someone you should most definitely talk it with them before hand. You may have different views on marriage and what it includes. This could go from how you plan to live together to if you want a prenup. He's also trying to test the waters with you, see what you'd say to it I'm sure. Just take your time, don't rush. Good luck. Hope this is what you want.
  • If 10 months seems like a very long time, you're too young to get married.
  • I don't blame your boyfriend basically I would take it to mean he wants to be absolutely sure that you are his one and only true love and the one he wants to spennd the rest of his life with and that right now he may not be 100% sure that is the case Marriage is too serious a comittment to make to just rush into it because you think you love the person Love takes time to develop and cannot be rushed no matter how badly you may want to rush it Maybe he feels that at this stage in his life he just isn't ready to make such a comittment to you right now and I agree with the person who said if you think 10 months is a long time you are too young to be getting married
  • Well thats what he means. The idea just came in his head and he felt he could tell you. It does not mean yes he will propose (if it meant that he would have proposed, if things are not in the way). Again it means that he just thought about it. You will have to wait until he feels ready to marry you don't push him. - One thing you can do is talk about marriage a little more find out what the both of you think about marriage. That could even help him make a decision.
  • I don't think 10 months is very long, be patient, good things come to those who wait.
  • Grow up, you've been together 10 months!how old are you, 12 years old? I've been waiting three years
  • First of all marriage isn't something you should rush into. Ten months is really not long at all. The first year is always the honeymoon stage after that is when you really get to know one another, the good and the bad. Give it time and don't rush him, maybe he's not ready for marriage yet.
  • First of all, you should be asking HIM what that means. Second, because you are asking this question makes me believe you are not ready to be married. Either you are too young or need a few more dating experiences. There is no time table on how long you should date before you get married. If you both are mature and love one another, setting the date will happen. You won't have to hint, probe or try to pin him down.
  • Think about it! If you do eventually get married do you want it to be because of your little comments and hints or would you rather it be coz it was meant to be and he loves you?
  • 10 months isn't long at all.
  • I disagree with you. Marriage is a BIG thing. It's very important to talk about issues and get to know each other to make sure you really want this before you take the leap and exchange your vows. Don't worry about the proposal so much. Focus on getting to know him and deciding if you want to marry him as well. Be honest with each other, for a marriage based on lies is not a good foundation for a marriage.
  • Why rush?? After you are married, you will have ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD for just you two. Better than to rush into it and regret it. Its good that your boyfriend is thinking about his decision before he makes it. ~+~
  • NO YOU ARE NOT WRONG. Don't let someone sleep with you for a year and then leave you. Demand respect and marriage or leave and find someone who will give that to you. Do not follow the low moral standards of today simply because everyone else does. Think for yourself. Follow your instincts.
  • You don't want someone to string you along and use potential marriage as a tool to get you in bed. However, long engagements I think, are better than rushing into a commitment that is supposed to last a lifetime. 10 months of dating is good, but if you 2 are not on the same page regarding getting married then you are wasting your time. If I had to guess (and I do) I would say that he has no intentions of marrying you. Just don't let him use that as a way to hold on to you, and on your end... don't be in such a rush if you don't mind me saying so. He could be a good man that knows he's not ready to commit, which would save the two of you a great deal of drama. You know this man, so you have to determin which side of him you are seeing... the user... or the smart man who knows himself.
  • With most men this means that he feels that you are almost THE ONE..but he needs more time to be sure. He knows you guys are good together and he knows that he really likes you and that you too have lots in common and he views you as a potentioal to marry. But he just needs a bit more time to be sure. trust me.....when it comes to getting married you want to date for at least 3 years before getting married so that you know everything thing (BAD and good) about this person. If you rush into a marraige you may find things out about the person that are bad a bit too late. and may end in divorse or abusesive relationship. He thinks you are the one but needs more time to be sure!! thats all just wait....you are not even a year yet!! you guys are still fresh..wait at least 2 years....3 is better...4 even better than after that he should know for sure...
  • 10 MONTHS. you're not even talking years here. MONTHS. slow down.
  • From my own personal experience... I got pregnant 9 months after meeting my husband.. we hurried up and got married when my son was 4 months old. Sometimes I wish I could go back and get to know him better before we did all that... but then again, things happen for a reason. I would just take it easy and see where the road takes you.
  • So many people today get divorced because they rushed into marriage because it seemed like the right thing to do at the time. Take your time. If you love him, and he loves you, you'll be together no matter what, and the right time will come. 10 months can tell you a little bit, but with more time, comes more knowledge about your partner. Who knows, y'all might love each other right now, and think you're perfect for each other but then 1 or 2 years from now, you could have learned things about him that might would make you happy you didn't rush into marriage at 10 months.
  • you need to have a little heart heart talk with the guy. maybe he is in school. or maybe you both are in school. that sounds like an engagement proposal, so you could ask about a ring. oh yah, wait for awhile before jumping in to marriage. live in sin for a year or two. share an apartment, get to know each other. see if you want to have kids or not.
  • you could have gotten pregnant and delivered in 10 months. what are you two waiting on?
  • I agree with your bf. 10 months is tooooo early. wait till about 2 yrs minumum. What's the hurry anyways, when he is ready you will be ready, why should there be pressure for him to do something when he doesn't feel it is the right time. If you pressure him into mariage now it might end in divorce. What can't you have in a good relationship that that marriage is going to give you anyways?
  • Sounds like he can see himself married to you. Waiting for a lifetime for someone to make a commitment that they can't make is one thing...but to see 10 months as a problem is a bit shortsighted. What are your feelings about divorce? Do they match his? I ask because your "just do it" philosophy makes it sound like easy come/easy go. And marriage and/or divorce are not easy. You aren't wrong for how you feel. It's the decisions you make based on those feelings that may turn out to be "wrong".
  • tell him "one day" you'll f**k him (again)?
  • I would just wait and in the meantime try not to get too excited about it. Try and act like he never said it. See what happens. Saying and doing are two different things. Of course you could always tell him your not going to "do" him until he does "it". (hehe)
  • I think at least a year,i think ur boyfriend is thinking about purposeing any day but he just wants to hear u say u want to marry him then he will sooner or later.
  • Yes I think you are wrong, you should wait at least 18 months into your relationship to become engage, he's doing the right thing of not proposing to you because he don't know if he really wants to marry you or even consider marriage in his life.
  • You're not wrong, I feel somewhat similarly. Though at 10 months I'd think I'd still feel a bit giddy in the head! Being in a perennial state of 'waiting' for a proposal though almost seems to defeat the purpose of being in a blossoming r/ship. It then becomes about the destination. Not the journey. :)
  • Uh, Yes in my own opinion. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year now. I got pregnant and will be having his child in March. Sometimes I feel I'm just not ready. He talks about marriage with me as well and I just dont' feel I am ready. At this point I feel we rushed into things toooo quickly. We still have alot to talk about and plan. Sometimes I feel I don't even know him at times. Marriage isn't something you wanna just JUMP into. Things take time and I don't think its right to rush someone to make such a decision after 10 months. You guys are together so why hurry just to get a ring and a piece of paper that says by LAW you two are together as Mr and Mrs? I'm sure you wouldn't want him rushing you to have sex with him after a week would you? lol Whats the rush? Things just take time and its cute he acknowleges you and values you as "wifey material" but this is a decision that will effect both of you. You may be ready but please give HIM some time as well. You both will appreciate it later. Good luck to the both of you regardless what you do.
  • I have to agree with the majority of comments here. A lot of times, when we were first fall in love, we'll say and do all kinds of things based upon what we FEEL at the time. Time, however, is the true test of love. Those "aw shucks" feelings do fade eventually - not permanently, they just don't permeate the relationship like they do early on. Hopefully, what replaces those feelings is a genuine commitment - REGARDLESS OF HOW WE FEEL ONE DAY TO THE NEXT. Case in point, I woke up today and chose to love my wife of 8 years - not because I felt intensely passionate about her, but because I made a commitment those many days ago - it's a choice, not a feeling. The amazing thing is... our bond is much stronger than when we constantly made "googly-eyes" at each other. Now, we just hold each other for minutes or write the occasional love note, or go on "dates" and get a babysitter. The point is this - as others have said, it is better to take your time when it comes to marriage. Someone put it best - YOU'LL HAVE A LOT OF TIME AFTER YOUR WEDDING DAY - that is so true. In closing, I can't emphasize enough (and I know this has become a cliche but...) - COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY. If you keep those channels open, he will let you know, when he is ready.
  • Why wait for him? If you feel it's time and that you are sure and it is possible for you to both get married, then bring it up and ask him. He'll give you an answer I'm sure. If you have both worked hard to get to know each other and have talked about your futures and what you ant out of it, and you are both in accord, then ask him.
  • This question sounds like I asked it. Heheh. I've been with my boyfriend for about 3 years now and he's said the same thing. I know there should be no rush but I want to marry him because I know it's going to happen someday and "why not now?". 10 months is not a long time... at all. But I knew I wanted to marry him then. I thinks it's very wise to be established in your relationship and career before taking such a big step.
  • Yes. There is no hurry, and I guess he's not ready yet. If you are dying to get married, you might want to ask yourself why.
  • i believe he just wants to make sure hes ready, hang in there and dont become too attached
  • You remind me of my girlfriend. Don't rush him, just give him some time. You want to spend the rest of your life with him so why not just wait a bit. You should be together for at least a year or two (what i think) before you marry. Just stay with him and don't pressure things. good luck
  • I agree with the previous answer. You should wait a little longer so that u guys know each other well. I don't really mean 10 years when I say a little longer but at least 1-2 years. Good Luck
  • kick him outside your heart.he is playing with you
  • I guess I'm more in the line of commenting and questioning, because I ended up on this page because I wanted to know the same thing. So I could use some insight as well. My question is, why are we expected to wait for extended periods of time for the man to simply propose? I haven’t been pressuring my boyfriend at all, and I won’t allow anyone else to either. Why? Because he should want to. If it’s not his idea, I want no part of it. However, I just don’t know how “long” I should wait before this becomes insulting to me. For some gals, it’s fine to wait on the line for…ever! But that is not me. I’m intact with my self worth and I realize my time, just like his is valuable. Why isn’t it observed that women have plans, dreams, ambitions, and goals as well? (sometimes those plans do include marriage). It’s not very fair and it does not show consideration for the lives of both individuals. I am 7 years older than my boyfriend. I’m 28. I have my own job, car, and place. As does he. He is in college. I have 2 degrees. I have no kids. I pay my own bills and make my own way. I have a very supportive family and my parents have been happily married for over 3 decades. So now, my question/ comment/ rant is now... Why do we have to wait for such long periods of time for the MAN to ask? I'm old fashioned and I DO NOT BELIEVE in asking him. I however do believe you should show your intended your actual intent. No one wants to sit and listen to anyone blather promises with no involvement of understanding of the fulfillment of that promise. We've been together for 1 year and nearly 8 months. And HE brought up the subject of marriage. After month 3, said he could see me in his life always... Month 6 he said he definitely knew he wanted to marry me and since then he‘s mentioned it often….but it's always "one day". My mom and his mom and grandma are all wondering, "Why is this taking so long?" I ask them not to say anything to him...(or to me for that matter because it is embarrassing) But to myself… I agree. Year 2 is approaching, Now it's time for some sort of display of intent. Why won't he ask? You don't instantly become hitched and broom hopped and knot tied as soon as you engage. So if it is time that is needed to get "goals and things" aligned, at least have the common curtsey and damn it, the common sense to know that you need to secure your lay-away plan!!There is another LIFE on the line here. Another human being is waiting! I’m not about the habit of wasting time. My goals and plans for MY FUTURE are just as important as his. And yes, I know that life is not a fairy tale, but if I said…(hey, Dre I want to get married. Why won‘t you propose to me?) Look at how much of my “dream” has been washed away. What ever happend to the touching "surprise" or the warm knowledge that,yes he wants to have you in his life officially just as bad as you do. He should “want” to ask and do just that. I’m not in this “love” by myself. He constantly says he loves me and we have an excellent relationship together. Why won’t he just propose? Last summer (year 1)I got a promise ring… My dad asked “what was he promising?” (too little too late for the proper effect - i was happy, but I wasn't pleased. I hinted month 6 before that I wanted one). Enough time for all that has passed. I don't want my engaging moment to feel like that. If he does not want to marry… he shouldn’t say so, and certainly not so often. It amounts to making me feel that he wants to make sure there’s not someone else out there he’s missing… or there’s not something out there he wants to do that can not be done once he’s signed, sealed, and delivered. That’s single people talk. We’re supposed to be in a committed relationship, so if that’s the dock he’s standing on, my ship needs to sail on because that’s showing me he’s not feeling the way he tells me he is. And that’s wasting my time. If we’re gonna live like we’re single then "I" at least need to BE single. I don’t want to be someone’s little “experience”. I’m not prepared to feel a fool and wait around for him indefinitely. If pressure for guys will make them leave, they need to know that procrastination does the exact same thing for us. At least for me anyway… I’ll only wait for the “Big Question” silently for the duration of ½ of 2009. After that…I’m sure my heart will heal.

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