Sweetie, I've been on AB all day, your questions have been consistent with your problems. I think you already know the answer, you just may be afraid of it. Don't worry, it will be okay. I promise.

The Bible allows 2 circumstances for divorce: where one member is a Christian and the other is not, and in cases of adultery. I would say an abusive husband (I'm going with husband here because it usually is) is not a Christian, and that would be grounds for divorce. As for neglect, that I'm not sure of. If there truly is neglect there then it probably falls into the same category, but you have to be careful that's really the case and it's not just one person being 'high-maintenance' and selfish.

i think he testing those women to do the right thing

if he's hitting you, leave him, before he kills you.

No...I doubt very seriously that God would want that.

If your life is threatened no way does the Bible say you should stay with him or anyone. You must separate from him. If you don't you aren't showing enough care for yourself. It's suicide to stay with an abusive person. Run. Do not turn around to check if it's okay. JUst run and never look back.

God always wants what's BEST OR BETTER for us. But we have to be willing to let go and let God work! I would say LETTING GO of a big bully looser who believes he has the right to beat on, emotionally, mentally or financially abuse you...then honey...you need to LET GO! God never wants us to be harmed by anyone. MAN (humanity) does such things because Satan DELIGHTS in our being miserable and Satan will lie to those who do such things and help them believe they have the right to do it! WRONG! GET OUT!

What kind of god would order that on someone??? Not a worthy one in my opinion...

No of course not. If someone is telling you this they are lying. If a man is abusive, abandons you either emotionally or physically, or commits adultery, or goes to jail you can divorce him and are free to remarry if you should so choose.

NO. And I would like to add that ANY religious person or clergy member who tells you that you should stay in an abusive relationship because "God wants you to" is ALSO guilty of abusing you, because they are dismissing the details of your crisis and your emotions. Til death do us part does NOT mean you have to stay and have your soul and identity drained away by an abusive person! I suggest you seek individual therapy to help sort out your thoughts. And if ANY therapist/counselor dismisses your stories of abuse and neglect, run away and find someone who takes you seriously. Call your local women's shelters for references for therapists, and for legal aid! Please! Take care of yourself and your children!

Although many people would like to think that traditional marriage vows are romantic, In reality, they were written when Women had no rights. traditional marriage vows were a transfer of property, as at the time they were written women were considered property. "till death do us part" merely meant (originally) that women were only allowed to leave their husband when he died or they died, and otherwise they were required to stay, regardless of whether the relationship was abusive or not. another thing that people often misinterpret is "to have and to hold" This was meant to mean just about the same as if you were buying an item from a store. It is a transfer of property, since at the time women were considered nothing more than property. When things changed, the vows were just never rewritten to fit our current view of marriage. And as far as I know god had little to do with the writing of the marriage vows, except maybe someones interpretation of a scripture. Hope this helps.

Ther is a good book by Dr. James Dobson called Love must be tough. he is the host of focus on the family. This gives wonderful advice on marriage and what to do in an abusive relationship. God has ordained that marriage be a lifetime commitment on the part of both partners. His desire is for a stable loving environment for husband, wife and the children. We always must try to make the marriage work. This does not mean you have to stay with him. Give him the ultimatum that if things dont change he will have to separate and get counseling and begin to demonstrate that he truly is wanting this relationship to work. The hard part is that usually it is much harder for the woman or wife in most situations. Many times the husband is the primary income earner and the wife goes into a hardship economically. Many times this becomes your fear of separation. You have to decide that you are strong enough make it on your own in case he doesn't show immprovement. In every way it is a difficult situation. That is why we need to make the right decisions before marriage. To many people get into a physical relationship and decide on marriage without seeing if they are compatible in spiritual, family, values and so many other bonds that will keep you together for a lifetime. Much harder after the fact and children don't help the situation it only complicates the decision because you want to stay for the children. Get the book it will help immeasurably. God Bless Pastor Salaz Fountain of Truth Apostolic Church Salinas, CA

I just found this so I thought I would post it to better define my comment - In 2 Corinthians 6:14, Paul tells us we are not to be yoked with non-believers. The phrase "yoked together" is from the Greek verb "heterozugeo" which means "to have fellowship with one who is not an equal" or "to be unequally bound together." Paul continues to instruct in that verse that righteousness and wickedness do not have anything in common nor does light have fellowship with darkness. Being a Christian and choosing a non-believer for a spouse is the same as not choosing God. This passage, however, does not mean that if someone is already married and they then become a Christian that they are to leave their non-believing spouse, nor does it indicate that a Christian who marries a non-believer, contrary to this scripture, can then turn around and leave the non-believing spouse. In 1 Corinthians 7:12-14, Paul instructs that the Christian is to remain married to the non-believer. The unbeliever is sanctified by the believer which makes their children clean and set aside for God's purposes. The unbeliever is sanctified (which does not mean saved) so that the marriage bed and the children are clean in God's eyes. The Christian is to remain with the non-believer in the hope that he or she will become a believer (1 Corinthians 7:16). In 1 Corinthians 7:15, Paul does state, "But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace." Notice that Paul does not say the believer can divorce or remarry; he says they are to allow the spouse to leave and are not bound in that circumstance. Later, in that same passage, Paul teaches that when one's spouse dies, he or she may remarry but only someone who is a Christian (1 Corinthians 7:39). When a spouse dies, the bond of that marriage is broken and the living believer is considered single again.

No God does not.

God gave his life for us so we would not be hurt. I do not believe he would want you to continue to be hurt. Get out.

Moses alowed a certificate of divorce due to the hardness of the people's heart. Moses was god's prophet and friend and so God allows for such issues to be an issue for divorce!

No, for sure. God cares about us and hates, HATES to see us hurting.

Therein lies a fundamental problem with Christianity, and many consider it evidence that Christianity is (or has turned into) a way for the white, male elite to exert/maintain power. I am no Christian, but what I know of God is that He doesn't want people to suffer at the hands of the selfish. Whether one believes that He is keeping the sole authority to mete out punishment for Himself or merely doesn't want to see His greatest creations needlessly hurt, I absolutely refuse to believe that He would condone any marriage where the husband actually harms his wife.

Honestly, you soul has already crossed over. Therefore you have died and can now part!

No God does not want you to be abused! You need to get out of the abuse as soon as you can. You are special and a valued human being. You deserve love and respect! If you have children, you are teaching them that abuse is ok. Please please do not stay in that relationship. There is so much help out there for you to help you start over and become independent. Make phone calls and find a Domestic Violence Org. near you & a woman's advocate. Your local police can give you a phone number if you can't find one. Just reach out... Good luck to you!

My God doesn't, and any Deity that requires someone to remain in an abusive situation isn't worthy of following or worshipping.

Dah! of course not! If God is love and He ALWAYS...works in our favor...how could He posibely want anyone of His children to be in a abusive relationship. If counseling doesnt work get out before that dude send you 6 feet under! Amén.

God or any supreme being will not let any one stay in an abusive relationship. Sadly, the abused people let themselves get neglected in fear of being alone. I believe in this. Us women should not let ourselves be buried in an abusive environment.

No, God does not you to stay in abusive relationships. Now, your religious leaders may think differently.

Keep God out of it! You only have one life and you should be happy, not abused in any way. Till death do us part, yes.. but don't except abusive and neglecful marriages.

God only wants what's best for you. Your husband obviously wouldn't fall into that category.

Define "abusive-neglectful marriages." That seems a little self-contradicting. Most "abusive" marriages are not "neglectful," but overly-controlling and judgmental. Based off of the small amount of information you've given here, all I can say is "NO, God does NOT want women to stay in abusive or neglectful marriages." God would want women, and men, to have a very good idea of the marriage they were getting into before they got married, and would want to see people fix an abusive or neglectful situation.

That is plain stupid and I wouldn't do it. I even hate when people say it!

If She exists then I'm sure that She doesn't.

Im sure if god was a person in this world. He would make the woman leave.

So then, kill his ass. Your vows insisted!

Here is an answer from a woman's personal testimony. A new Christian was married to an abusive husband and was trying very hard to be a good, submissive wife. One night after an angry and somewhat violent confrontation he threatened to put her in the hospital if she ever disobeyed him again. She went to the bathroom. The couple had two children, a three year old girl and a year old boy. In the bathroom she sensed God speaking to her. He told her that her husband was serious about his threat and he asked her, "Is this the kind of life you want for your daughter?" Loving her daughter very much she responded, "No, never!" "Well, you're my daughter," God replied, "and you need to leave." I am not sure what your beliefs are regarding hearing the voice of God. She didn't hear the audible voice of God, but the quiet voice of God. I know this woman and she has incredible integrity. This is a true story. The husband had already begun abusing his daughter physically and she suffered many emotional scars because of it. It was a very good thing that she did not remain in that environment any longer and that the younger son did not experience an abusive homelife. The wife left with the two children the next day. Luckily this story happened a long time ago and God has brought a great deal of healing to every life in this story, including the husband who over time and with counseling changed his violent behavior and is no longer an abusive husband or father.

This answer is pretty anti-divorce, and I don't hate divorced people for the record. I am just showing a Biblical side of the argument. You may agree with me or disagree with me. If I am wrong, please correct me. ----------------------- Biblically, marriage is a picture of the relationship between God and the true church. If God allowed divorce, it would destroy his picture of marriage. My interpretation of the Bible on this subject is that God died for the church (the true believers) and he constantly loves and forgives the church (true believers), no matter how much sin they commit. In return, the church is supposed to love him and obey him. This might sound wrong to you and you might not agree with it, but I have provided Biblical back up for what I am saying. "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so *let* the wives *be* to their own husbands in every thing. 25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: 30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. 31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. 32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife *see* that she reverence *her* husband." - Ephesians 5:22-33 (KJV) -------------------------------- The God of the Bible does not want divorce. "Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." - Matthew 19:6 (KJV) "What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." - Mark 10:9 (KJV) -------------------------------- However, in a way, Romans 13 deals with abusive/neglectful husbands. I'm going to post it here in case you want to read it. -------------------------------- "Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God. 2 Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God: and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation. 3 For rulers are not a terror to good works, but to the evil. Wilt thou then not be afraid of the power? do that which is good, and thou shalt have praise of the same: 4 For he is the minister of God to thee for good. But if thou do that which is evil, be afraid; for he beareth not the sword in vain: for he is the minister of God, a revenger to *execute* wrath upon him that doeth evil. 5 Wherefore *ye* must needs be subject, not only for wrath, but also for conscience sake. 6 For for this cause pay ye tribute also: for they are God's ministers, attending continually upon this very thing. 7 Render therefore to all their dues: tribute to whom tribute *is due*; custom to whom custom; fear to whom fear; honour to whom honour. 8 Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law. 9 For this, Thou shalt not commit adultery, Thou shalt not kill, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not bear false witness, Thou shalt not covet; and if *there be* any other commandment, it is briefly comprehended in this saying, namely, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. 10 Love worketh no ill to his neighbour: therefore love *is* the fulfilling of the law. 11 And that, knowing the time, that now *it is* high time to awake out of sleep: for now *is* our salvation nearer than when we believed. 12 The night is far spent, the day is at hand: let us therefore cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armour of light. 13 Let us walk honestly, as in the day; not in rioting and drunkenness, not in chambering and wantonness, not in strife and envying. 14 But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to *fulfil* the lusts *thereof*." - Romans 13:1-14 (KJV)

I do not intend to disrespect those who give biblical answers, but lets grow up and live in 2008 where every being has the right to respect and to be treated fairly. So the short answer to your question is not "right", it is "wrong". You do NOT stay married to someone who disrespects and abuses you, whether mentally, physically or both. I'm less clear on what you mean by neglectful - if its just that the sex is less hot or non-existent then that's pretty common quite frankly and if everything else works may not matter. If it is a continuance of the lack of respect, an absence of any companionship and caring or support then my view is as above. I'm not sure why the "vows" lock some people into relationships like this - my interpretation of the bible is rather "broad brush" but I know right from wrong, and staying in a relationship that offers nothing but abuse is simply wrong. Often, people who pose this sort of question already know the answer - if that is you just take a deep breath and find the confidence to do something about it. You deserve better.

Christianity may frown upon divorce, but God isn't only present in Christ-based religion and who is to say what God regards as morally correct. I hear it's pretty hard to get an interview with Him.

"What God has joined together let no man put asunder" True. But you know what, God does not like abusive-neglectful marriages. That's why I'm sure He would not take it against women who wanna leave their husbands. I believe He is a just God.

I don't have time to read through all the answers, so I apologize if I'm repeating someone else. Jesus said that it is best for a husband and wife to remain together, but because we are weak and human, divorce is permitted if a spouse is unfaithful. The word "unfaithful" there refers specifically to sexual immorality: adultery. However, adultery is such because it violates the marriage vows. If all of the vows are important, then a violation of any of them should breach the marriage contract just as surely as adultery does. A man's duty is to protect and love his wife. A man who abuses his wife is not protecting her, and a man who neglects his wife is not loving her. He is in breach of the vows he spoke *before God.* In that circumstance, divorce is appropriate. However, if a woman who has divorced, even for that reason, remarries, she is guilty of adultery. Thank God that *all* of our sins are cleansed by the blood of Christ! Remarrying is wrong, but it will not separate someone from the love of God, unless the desire to be married is willfully placed ahead of the desire to please God. I recommend reading the book of Hosea for a fresh perspective of God's attitudes toward the "letter of the Law."

I can't speak about Judaism, but in Islam the woman has the right to ask for a divorce. It's even in the Quran that in cases of disagreements between husband and wife they can defer to her and his families to resolve these issues by speaking on their behalf. Divorce is perfectly legal way to break the marriage contract in Islam. Allah even commands men that they should either treat their wives well, or let them go peacefully with all their rights.

I don't know what God wants. I believe that your being in a position of happiness and well being would be pleasing to him.

according to paul of the NT then yes [but that's paul not god] but as far as i can think of if you take the 10 commandments, thou shalt not kill is pretty freakin clear. and i don't remember anything about God himself saying that a woman is supposed to put up with a jackass for a husband. but i don't believe in till death do us part, and other religions don't necessarily see marriage as an unbreakable sacrament so much as a solemn commitment/contract abuse abandonment adultery all 3 are valid reasons why a marriage should be or can be invalidated in my opinion.

IF he cheat's on you ,you can leave him, God say's so.

Maybe God wants women to kill their abusers!

I think God wants both partners to live-up to their obligations to love, honor and cherish the other.

Dr. Phil calls abuse a Deal Breaker

The marriage vows do not include abuse for life. These days people have made up so many gods it isn't funny.

This very question was discussed at church this past Sunday. My husband is a pastor and we have talked in great detail on the subject. The answer according to what I understand of the Bible is that under NO circumstance does God want you to be abused. You need to protect yourself and your children if you have them. There is much to be learned about what a person does after the separation. I was in an abusive relationship with my first husband and I did divorce him. Here is where this gets a little controversial, even among Christian's. I divorced him with the intent to stay single until I either died or until he became unfaithful, which by the way is the only way I can find in the Bible to remarry without being an adulteress. This may sound harsh, but I lived it out. Within six years my ex remarried which of course released me to go and get married, and I found out that he had already cheated before that anyway. There is one element we are leaving out if you married and you didn't wait for the go ahead according to the Bible. I believe we serve a God of grace, not one who rules with an iron fist. I personally chose to be stringent about the command, but read ahead for the grace part. "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death." Romans 8:1-2 God has great things in store for you, and being beat up isn't part of His plan!!!

I'm not so sure what God would do. But because I'm the one actually living it, I'd make my decision on what seemed a healthy and safe choice for me and for any children involved.

I am sorry but just as the Bible stated women be submissive to your husband, in the Bible it also states how a man should love, apreciate, respect his mate......why would God create something for someone else to Ill treat or distroy, God is love, abusive and neglectfulness is not iqual to love... sorry that I am ranting, but I can't stand when people read the Bible and feel that they can put words in God's mouth....so let me guess, Moses,King David and Adam (did the Bible neglect to talk about how they Ill treated their wives) I think not! God expected it to go according to how the Bible says, but people do not apply it, so I don't think that God would have a problem or hold it against battered woman if they need to seek shelter for children. this answer also applies to the person that said "READ THE BIBLE".

Who cares what God wants. Do women want to be in an abusive relationship? Probably not. Put and end to it.

The only thing God wants, is for you to honor and love Him. To do that, you need to also honor yourself. If you feel it is a sin to break your wedding vows, I'll remind you that He sent his lad down here to pay for that a long time ago. It's not a license to sin, but it gives you a choice.

NO! God wants only good for us. The bible cannot be taen as an exact translation of God's will or Jesus' words, we have to remember that Jesus' teachings have gone through many changes since he first spoke them. They have been colored by the beliefs and ideals of the many (mostly men in unenlightened times) who have been tasked with keeping the records for future generations. Humans are falible, subject to emotion and manipulation, and being that it has been humans who have interpreted the word of God, we must assume that the word of God has been somewhat missinterpreted by them. I choose to believe that God commands we try to be the best we can, and do the best we can for ourselves, our children, our parents, our spouses, etc. But I have never thought that God expects us to uphold vows taken in faith when the other party has not done the same. Remember he promised to honor, protect, etc... if he doesn't uphold his part of the bargain, you are well within your rights both legally and spiritually to protect yourself by parting ways with him and anyone who tells you to meakly submit to him. If your family, church, friends, whomever tells you it is wrong to leave him then they do not have your wellbeing at heart. There is a world full of people willing and ready to support, comfort and protect you from a spouse who would do you harm. Find a place where you are safe - if that means divorce, do it. If you have to leave the city, state or country, do it. The God I know would never ask you to accept physical violence as a part of your marriage.

Man should love his wife as he loves the LORD,if he loves you that much to abuse you then pray and if it is harmful and life threatning,then yes he ould grant you a divorce I can see that

there are 2 gods, the one that loves and forgives, and the other that is feared in thought that one may be punished please be careful and seek help if need be God would not want you to be in pain

People tend to forget that there were controls on men's behavior during biblical times as well as controls on women. A man who beat his wife was ostracized from the community, especially if he was also an alcoholic. God does expect a woman to be submissive to her husband, but only insofar as is reasonable. Abuse is wrong under any circumstance.

What God has joined no man can lay asunder. You don't have to stay legally tied to him to be spiritually tied to him. Divorce him, get away from him to protect yourself, and then start working on the strength to pray for him. You don't need the state to recognize your marriage in order to be married.

God gives you free will to stay in it or not... I'm sure the hopes are that you learn from it, and make wiser decisions next time you commit your life to someone. Good luck.

what the lord unites let no man put asunder, the bible says. I am not a christian but was raised baptist and never remember anything in the bible about divorce being allowed by women. Christ and the apostle Paul I believe both spoke of a Just-cause divorce but that seemed to be Husbands could divorce wives for any reason at all...it said nothing of wives being able to divorce husbands.

The Bible gives reasons where marriages can be dissolved. You have to follow the directions, but it is very possible. I know a woman that received permission from the church leaders to divorce. Abandonment was her issue.

Everyone has to answer to God for their actions. I try to worry about myself and not others. I can't live other people's lives so that is my response. My husband's mother was in a physically abusive marriage and she got out. My sister in law got out of two marriages and I have no idea why.

It's impossible to answer what God wants, but I have to think that he wouldn't want any of his children to suffer.

When friends of mine were married the minister said "Until death or just cause do you part" I would think abuse is "just cause".

Abusive no way. At least not the God I know. If you are being abused and the abuser refuses to get help then you need to leave before it is too late. As far as the neglectful part is concerned that all depends. If you are talking about your spoouse just basically acts like you don't exist before divorcing them I would consider sitting down with them and telling them how you feel. If that doesn't change things and it makes you that miserable to not be acknowledged by your spouse then leave I think God would understand.

To the last answerer, aman. You are preaching to the chior. If anything I think God wants his children to be happy in life. Yes we have to endure some hardships in life (look at Jesus) but to stay in an abusive relationship because of a vow made by man, that is just insane. If you just look at it from the point of view that God is testing your resolve to stay a path of rightousness or are you giving into the devils foolery. Remeber only God can judge you. :)

there's an underlying reason why both of you are in an abusive relationship. most likely from your past, even as far back as your childhood. you need professional help right away before things get worse. getting out maybe the only way out if you can't find the root of the problem.

first part - you know the answer. i like to think that many guys should be given an opportunity to change. they need an opportunity to learn appropriate and inappropriate behavior, healthy communication techniques, etc. i think that most of us don't respond all that much until we have to. maybe a judge says, "quit it or go to jail". maybe mom says, "i'm not gonna talk to you until you ..." maybe a boss says, "quit drinking or you're fired". til death do us part ... right? i'm struggling with this one right now. i've been married 15 years, i never abused my wife, i never drank, i worked hard the whole time, i began our relationship being a good listener but i got burned out by the end. so, she's left me. i struggle with "til death do us part". does the state have the right to dissolve our marriage? (yes). for myself, i'm going to adopt a conservative view of this, in other words, she shouldn't leave. for you, I'm going to adopt a liberal interpretation, death of a relationship can be the death of the spark that held you together, it can be the growing apart ... it doesn't have to be physical death alone, right? one of the better things, or, safer things that i've seen women do is plan ahead a date in which they'll move out, get bills transferred, when the day comes and DH is out at work, get a van and friends to load you up and take you to a safe house where he doesn't know where you're at. good luck!!!

The whole death do us part thing is because God created man and woman to be monogamous once married. He doesn't want ANYONE to be hurt and it is humans sinful, fleshly nature that makes us that way (for now). Read the bible if you are curious about what God wants for and from us. If your life is being threatened then you should seek help and get out. God does want us to try and make relationships work since humans do have a tendency to bail out at the slightest problems (I'm not saying your situation is only a minor problem!), but if everything else fails then you need to do what is right for you and your family if you have children. I hope you can work things out whatever way it all goes! Have faith that there is a God that cares for everyone and there will be a time when things will be put right.

Thats not the intent of the marriage vows. No one should be in an abusive relationship or marriage. "For better or worse" applies here.

no

One thing that I learned too, is that there are different kinds of abuse. I left a guy who hit me once... that was as clear as it gets. I'm now getting out of an incredibly emotionally abusive relationship, where I wish that he'd hit me so that I could call the police and show them the broken bones and bruises. Emotional scarring heals a lot slower, and people tend to put up with that kind of abuse for longer. I know I did. For me it got to a point where I didn't necessarily want to die... but if a car jumped a median, I'd have to think about it before swerving, because I was just so tired of suffering for a promise I should have never made. Please don't stay in this relationship. I come from a religious background too, and I believe deeply that God will forgive you for your mistakes. but if you are suppressed and abused, you have nothing left to give the world or any praise to give to God. He wants his children to be happy and healthy and whole. and please know that no matter what your husband says to you, no matter how true you think it is, you are allowed to be you. You are allowed to have flaws, and if he has hurtful things to say about you, he's only projecting his own negative feelings about himself and his life on you. You're a beautiful person and God loves you.

I'm Catholic and I know that if there is abuse in a relationship, there is no marriage. Marriage is about mutual love and respect. Marriage is about two people helping each other through this life and into the next. Marriage is not about living in a relationship that kills your spirit.

No. If your husband is abusive and neglectful he has already broken the contract between you and that is on him. If he doesn't keep his vows you're under no obligation.

definitely not.. just because your still alive, you can still be emotionally drained and dead on the inside..

I wouldn't think so because in the Bible, it states that men are to love their wives as Christ loved the church. Abusing their wives violates this, therefore I don't think God wants women to stay in such relationships.

NO NO NO, if you are in an abusive marriage get out of it! This is why people need to get to know who they're marrying and live with the person first so they know what they're getting into. People turn out to be totally different after the beginning of a relationship. God stands for love he doesn't want to see people suffer. Remember there are always gray areas..Til death do us part means to the right person.

dont believe all that, get out NOW! It's not worth your health.

Oh hell no!

NO

No!God is against abuse and any form of abuse,I say dont allow this to happen,God thought of marriage as a harmonic togetherness and not as a way to be agressive."Till death do us part"was invented by man,not God.

I do not think any loving forgiving God would expect or want anyone to endure abuse because of a marriage contract. I believe that when abuse occurs within a marriage, it means the marriage itself is not being lived as God intended it to be and is therefore wrong in the first instance.

god has nothing to do with an abusive relationship. If he's verbally or physically assaulting you you should get out for your own safety and peace of mind. Dont drag religion into this. Religion has nothing to do with it. There's no stigma attached to a divorce. It doesnt work out sometimes. If your partner is unwilling to change his ways (which they rarely do) your only hope is to get out while you can.

Marry the right guy and you'll never have to worry about this happening.

No way. Being abusive to anyone is a sin be it either male or female. Get out!!!!!!!!

NO WAY!!! I was tricked into believing that myself and stayed in an abusive marriage for years. I was involved with a very controlling legalistic church that didn't condone divorce unless there was adultery involved. My husband didn't "cheat" on me, he just treated me like a piece of crap and beat me up on occasion. I was told that staying in the marriage was "the cross that God had given me to bear". I finally got out and I was ex-communicated for it... I'm glad that I got out while I still had some self respect left. I believe that "Till death do us part" does not just mean the "physical" death of ones body but also signifies spiritual death. Just think what would happen to your body if you neglected to feed it or if you continually abused it with drugs or alcohol. Over time the body would break down and die. The same thing goes for spiritual health in a marriage. If you are starved emotionally and mistreated by your husband, the spiritual connection will die. If you neglect or abuse a child, CPS would get involved and the child would be removed from the situation... You are Gods child. He doesn't want you to be mistreated. He loves you and desires for you to be a whole and happy person... There is a great website with biblical answers for this situation. www.divorcehope.com. You’ll be in my thoughts and prayers.

I personally do not believe that God wants anyone (man or woman) to stay in an abusive marriage. Life is too short to live it unhappy and abused. Yes, our wedding vows are a promise to love each other and to stick by each other through the good times as well as the bad times, however ... Vows/promises are made with certain expectation in mind, and when life doesn’t turn out the way we thought it would, sometimes those promises need to be changed, especially in abusive relationships. Breaking our marriage vows – when is it ok? 1. When it becomes clear to you that keeping the promise causes more harm than breaking it. Generally, this means that it would harm yourself or others. 2. If breaking the arrangement could save a life. 3. When you know that the promise that you made is going to wind up hurting someone in the long run. 4. For your safety and the safety of the ones you care about (children and etc.). 5. Before the promise breaks you. 6. The best way (and this is how I live my life) is to not make promises you MAY not be able to keep. I have said many times "I can't make that promise". But if push comes to shove and you have given your word, then choose the lesser of two evils. 7. When it’s more important than the arrangement you made. 8. "Sometimes, doing the right thing ain't doing the right thing." 9. The plain fact is that sometimes life just changes things.

If you're having a problem with walking away, purely due to your religion, how about thinking this...? God doesn't expect a husband to treat you that way. Religion only says that in its eyes you are forever married, not that you're expected to live with him forever. It's any re-marriage that may be difficult religiously. Why not talk to your priest/religious leader, or another one from the same faith but out of your own area, if you're worried that word may get back to your husband. Good luck, and god be with you, and remember, a truly loving god wouldn't want you hurting the way you are.

Not my God.

It's in sickness and health till death do us part. Not in beat me til death do us part. So no god would not want a woman or a man to stay in a abusive marriage.

depends how soon you want this "death do us part" to take place. btw: i dont know what weddings you have been too, but ive never heard god tell the newly wedded couple that phrase.

While the Bible teaches that we should choose our spouse carefully, lest we be subjected to a life of misery -- it is more a warning of being careful you are marrying the right person for you for the rest of your life -- not just someone who seems good right now. Against the common view of most Christian church leaders, God doesn't want us to suffer a life of heartache, loneliness, and meanness, simply to honor a vow we made when we were young. Divorce, just like marriage is not something to be entered into lightly... but while God can heal marriages, that have something to heal, He also can refuse to heal a situation where He didn't want us to be to begin with. I was married for years to a man, who wasn't physically abusivie, but who's character, and personalilty so drained my spirit, I lost myself, and my joy in the Lord. I prayed for years, that God would 'make me a better wife', 'make me love my husband' and even 'make my husband really hear me, and understand me'. He never did -- and it dawned on me one day, God never intended for me to stay there! I was not with the one, who was to be my mate... I was going against God's plan by staying in that marriage! It was a difficult decision to divorce, I even went back to try and reconcile once... but the situation was worse the 2nd time around! We as humans, limit God so much, that we keep ourselves in situations that make God sad, not happy. Remember, Abraham thought that God wanted him to sacrifice Isaac his son, and was preparing to do so just to obey God -- but God STOPPED HIM! WHy? because he didn't want ABraham to be miserable and heartbroken for the rest of his life, simply because God had demanded it. God wants to see we are obeying him, to the best of our ability -- but never does he want us to obey him to the point of lifelong suffering. God is our Father -- and while father's may give us rules to guide ourselves by, they do know there are exceptions to every rule. So while God does not advocate divorce, He does know that there are many situations, where it is the only 'right' thing... such as abuse, or unwillingness of the other spouse to be the mate they should be.

Absolutely not; KILL him!

I don't think that a loving god would want anyone to be unhappy in the life he gave them.,...

It isnt God who wants us to DO ANYTHING. It should be US, our choice, and nobody elses. GOD would want you to be happy...and can anyone honestly say they are happy in that situation...no...so GOD doesnt want that!

No way, we are all God's children. He doesn't want to see any of us get hurt. He can't make a woman that is in an abusive marriage leave though. A lot of times, the abuser has made her feel so worthless, that she feels no one in life will have her.

There are so many different levels of abuse now, but non of them are worth staying with. An abuser must realize that he/she is abusing and seek help, if they can do that, then they are worth staying with.

My problem is not physically it is emotional I am constantly being told I am doing something wrong that is why God gives him all the money he needs for goals and is not giving me enough to pay my bills.Every month my bills are late and my extra is low he has always had enough even if it was me that gave him my last but now it is like you are a loser and you are jealous of me and God won't let you be above me because I am the head.Sometimes I look at my situation and wonder if he is telling the truth.I have never looked at another man or wanted another and I am always being told after we get in an argument so many other women that have and is doing better wants him he is losing with me.Suicide has been thought of but the bible has held me on now I want to know that I am not crazy .I am now a faithful tither he laughed in my face and told me I still will fail because I am a loser.Now What....Please pray for me

No.....God loves everyone and doesn't want any of us (men and women) to be neglected/abused. The marriage contract states that each party will LOVE, HONOR and RESPECT the other party. When one of the parties breaks that contract, then it's void. Any form of abuse is not loving, honorable nor respectful.

Obviously no loving thing would want you to stay in a relationship with an abusive and neglectful husband, especially if you were getting beaten. See, there are exceptions to the rules. :-)

i'm not god, you have to ask him/her.

Your marriage vows are unconditional. At least if you said the traditional ones. Now, to those who think that divorce is always an option, you might want to rephrase your vows by saying "Till death or abuse do us part" but that might not go over with some people so... If your vows said "Till death do us part," then divorce is forbidden. Regardless of what your spouse does to you, YOU made a promise that is not contigent on how he/she treats you. Divorce is not forbidden because God wants to put useless and stifling laws on us but because marriage is based a set of vows and you should keep your word. All that being said. There are other recourses that God does leave open to you. Your husband ought to be thrown in jail (at best) for there are few things in life lower than a man that would strike a woman. I myself feel a sense of the most intense rage whenever the subject of spousal abuse comes up for I cannot fathom a reason that a man should ever--EVER!!!--raise his hand to his wife: that wonderful woman that puts up with him in his foulest moods and that HE vowed to care for more than his own life. I can think of some other punishments that would be more fitting for such scum but my point is that you should seek protection, seek help, and seek God's peace but you should not seek a divorce. Remember, your vow to him was unconditional and you need to make sure that you are not breaking your promises too.

not at all, the abuser has already broken the promise to love, honor and cherish so the contract is void. kick him to the curb