ANSWERS: 35
  • It might be, but I would say NO, a back massage alone does not constitute cheating. I have given and received massages to/from other people and at no time was there any sexual or erotic component. Often in the workplace, office workers develop painful neck tension and ask someone to massage a neck kink out for them, even macho (and clearly "straight") construction workers on a job will ask one of their friends to fix their back by helping them strech the lower lumbar vertabrae. In both examples, there is clearly no romantic or sexual component in the act. On the other hand, some massages are definately sexual and a romantic setting they would clearly be something I would only share with my lover. But massages like that are rare and special things, so I would be inclined to say that your girlfriend was only easing some painful muscle tension for a friend, and that neither she or the other fellow had any romantic or sexual thing going on there.
  • Unless she is a massage therapist at work she should not be giving another man back rubs. that is way too much contact between your girlfriend and "another guy". without your consent or prior knowledge of it happening.To some this would constitute as cheating!
  • Ok... there isn't only two choices here. You shouldn't just consider A. or B. There are middle grounds and I believe this is one of them. First of all there are a couple of different typed of massaging... clothing on/off, but thats not the point. Things like back rubs are middle grounds, you cant ask if its cheating or not because really, there are too many variables; is he a close friend and nothing more? does she or has she always given him massages? were they alone or with other friends? does she not think back rubs are anything intimate? are you tolerant of this type of behavior or are you just curious? If you feel betrayed by this then talk to her and compromise with her. Ask her to put herself in your shoes. If you feel like she is just telling you things you want to hear... then PUT her in your shoes and see how she takes it (only if you would even consider to salvage a relationship with a mind-manipulator). I, personally, would not go for this. If I knew my girl gave some dude a back rub period... I would be very butt-hurt because we DO share the same values and I know she would be hurt as well if I did that to her. You really can't ask for your mind to be made up by us. If you really want to have a successful relationship you're gonna have to establish better communication with her.
  • It depends on the intent of the back massage. If it was to help him relieve pain, stiffness, or stress, then it can be considered a therapeutic massage. This is not cheating. They should have some ground rules about what is and isn't appropriate under the circumstances, but there is nothing wrong with it in my books. However, if the goal of the massage was erotic stimulation - that other stiffness he might feel - then it was "cheating".
  • As long as it was strictly platonic and in no way flirting, then NO it wasn't cheating. She was most likely doing it because they are friends and his back was hurting, so he didn't think anything of it. It she was deriving pleasure from massaging your friend's back, then it was cheating; otherwise, it sounds to me like it was nothing more than a back massage--no different than if a male friend gave his female friend a kiss on the cheek.
  • Ok for me it was cheating. There's no way I'd like to see my girlfriend massaging another guy. I would ask for an explanation. If she gets stressed with the situation maybe she have something to hide.
  • My girlfriend massages me by sitting on my back, and rubbing strawberyy oil over my back- if it was one of these, id be getting jelouse. If it was to releive pain- it would be o.k... id still hate my girlfriends hands all over another guy though. He wants a massage- he should go to a masseause... (if thats how you spell it)
  • Ask her how she would feel if you gave a friend-girl a message and go from there!
  • to me cheating is anything you do not want your other half to find out about. It could be a touch, a look, or the more serious gestures. I mean do you know the guy too? he he like a good friend? or is he a friend from her past? It depends on these questions weather I would be upset at my husband or not.
  • Depends on the actual massage and context. Lots of my friends which are girls give massages to guys and mean nothing by it, vice versa for the guys.
  • no but it probably wan't a good idea on her part to do. just because something isn't cheating doesn't make it okay to do.
  • I would not be happy about my girlfriend rubbing someone else's back. It makes no sense. If you need to be bend, rubbed, or touched in any part of your body there are professionals for that. By nature, a massage is a personal, physical act. Maybe I'm just too possessive but her hands are for my body only. A hug with someone or kiss on the cheek is alright but anything further is a penalty against me.
  • In all Honestly it is not REALLY cheating, yet i find it beyond the border. If you talk to her and she still does it, it is not worth it, I've had this happen to me and i hurt alot becuase it was one of her firneds I trusted, (she also kissed him on the shoulder) truth be told it is not cheating, she still wants to be with you, she just didnt see it as an issue at the time, so put her in your shoes and tell her how it makes you feel, then she may get a better understanding of you.
  • If she massaged "somewhere else" then yes.. but a back massage, nah!
  • no. Although, I would of asked you first if this was ok Then told the male friend the only way it would happen would be if you were both getting a massage and that she did ask you and you agreed.
  • Depends on the circumstances. If it was done behind closed doors and was suggestive and inappropriate then it could have been a precursor for cheating? But not cheating exactly... But if it was common knowledge and dont innocently and in the open... then no, it was not cheating.
  • no it wasn't but from experience i know it really ticks off their partner. personally, even if you're just being nice and stuff it's kind of a stupid move. but hey, don't let that situation sink in and get you all upset for long. she's with you when she has to the opportunity to be with someone else. which means she actually likes you. just forget about it, it was clearly not meant to hurt you. she was just trying to be nice. just chill and do what you do, love her like you should baby!
  • Cheating, no. The circumstances surrounding the massage would determine whether a boundary had been crossed. If the boundary HAS been crossed, I might consider whether she was as committed to you as you are to her.
  • You asked only this question and never came back. I would guuss that you flipped out over this... killed the guy and haven't been back to AB because you are in jail. Was it worth it?
  • As long as he doesen't have a penis on his back, it should be okay. What if your girlfriend is studying to become a licensed massage therapist? Then she will touch a lot of other men and women.
  • Probably not - is your girlfriend a massage therapist? Have you talked with her about what your comfort level is in terms of interpersonal relations? Do you have an equal understanding of what SHE would be comfortable with YOU doing? My guess is that a guy who is a genuine friend had a pulled muscle and she banged a few knots out of it for him. Within my own social circle that's not something anyone would think twice about. But if it bothers you, you need to think about why it bothers you, and talk to her about it.
  • No, it wasn't cheating. But also, they're not "only" friends.
  • I dont think that its cheating, and actually my fiance did this to me yesterday. Gave 2 girls a massage in the bar. Heck ya, I freaked and ended it because I find it very inappropraite for him to massage some other girls and not me. I asked for a massage a few times and he told me his wrists were sore, but freely helped them out. He said that we shouldnt have to end it but I feel like I have to. I cant trust him. Just from those to little massages destroyed my whole life!
  • Um, no. Have you ever gotten a massage? Been to a massuse? Has your mom ever rubbed your back? Get over it.
  • Hell no.
  • depends what kind of oil
  • it's technically not cheating, but one day, when you two have the silliest of fights, she is going to go to him for comfort and he's going to ease her pain with his friendly penis.
  • No, it's not.
  • It is not because they are only friends. Cheating is a much more complex thing.
  • The back massage wasn't cheating... but the blowjob was.
  • She's not cheating, but it sure seems like flirting to me. Go massage a girl you know and see if bothers her. If it does say, "We're just friends."
  • Is she wearing a strap-on at the time?
  • Unless your girlfriend is a masseusse (spelling??) or a physiotherapist, it probably isn't appropriate to do. However, she isnt cheating by doing it. This boils down to your relationship with her and where you draw the line. If you are uncomfortable with it, just tell her so and request that she be careful in the future because it hurts your feelings. Then it is her job to draw the line. If you dont tell her but feel ill towards her because of it, then you cannot blame her for doing it -- because she doesnt know it bothers you.

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