ANSWERS: 29
  • You shouldent be with someone if you cant only be with him. Tell him or break up with him, not many options when you screw up!
  • Ask them both if they would be up for three way sex. If they agree, you can have both of them. Of course you realize my answer is a joke. Only you can decide what you will do. We can give you the best advice and you probably won't take any of it anyway. Face reality. You are an "easy" woman and they are both just getting their rocks off with you.
  • They both deserve to know that you're not faithful--or unable/unwilling to choose between them. Take your head out and put yourself in someone else's place for a change.
  • Just pick one. In life now and later, people who want to live and be happy have ONE lover/boyfriend-girlfriend or husband-wife at a time. If you try to have more it will mean alot of trouble from anger and sadness to losing it all if you do not make a choice and stick to ONE person.
  • Thanx for callin me a slut. But I'm not by any means, which is why this is so different and difficult. What I was trying to get across is with my b/f I feel like I'm being fake and with the other guy I feel like I'm being real like there's something missing w/ b/f...But no, thanx seriously, the best advice I wanna hear right now is that I'm an easy slut...
  • Its your call, however cheating is a huge violation of trust. You have already hurt him twice. Once by cheating and now but not telling him. Doesnt sound to me like you are even close to becoming involved in a serious relationship. Serious means being faithful. If there is something missing with your b/f break it off instead of cheating. As far as the other guy, do whatever you choose. Just do the right thing for you b/f's sake.
  • Tell your boyfriend - I met someone else I slept with them I am calling our relationship off. If you did love your boyfriend then you would not have cheated. No excuses. Next time you feel you would like to jump the fence - ask first. He may not like it, may say no, may say goodbye, but at least you will know before you go behind his back and lie and cheat.
  • Drink a couple of glasses of wine, get some courage up and pack up your things, this if you DO WANT to tell him...Otherwise, you'll have to live with that thought on the the back of your head if you continue on with the relationship and by the time he asks for your hand, it'll be too late. Get it over with soon. I hope you have friends who could lend you a hand if you end up leaving him. It's not your fault that you cheated, to err is human, to be human is to be weak. We all make mistakes.
  • tell him...I mean this happened to me one time. I cheated on my boyfriend and he found out..which was awful but it made me stop doing what I was doing and realized how much he truly loves me because he stayed with me after a long period of nagging. Even though he found out, if he wouldn't have then I would have kept doing what I was doing. It's better if you tell him and if he leaves you then he never loved you either...
  • Clicked submit twice..sorry.
  • It is time to make a choice here. What is more important to you, your relationship with your boyfriend? Or this "fling" with this other person? Either way, you need to make a choice. The longer you continue, the more someone is going to get hurt. If you love your boyfriend, either be committed to him...or cut him lose completely. It is not fair to him. Hope this was helpful.
  • Okay Italygoesblonde1, it has been more than a month since this incident took place. You have not been active on AB. Are you okay? Did you tell your boyfriend what happened?? Are you still with us. I hope you have seen a therapist to find out why you did what you did so history does not repeat itself. Please check back with us so we know you are alright. Hugs {{{{italygoesblonde1}}}}}}
  • I wouldn't tell the boyfriend. It's really unfair to him either way, but by telling him you're hurting him just so you can relieve yourself of the guilt of NOT telling him. You're the one who cheated, so why should HE be punished? Live with the guilt, you deserve it. I also don't think that because you cheated it means you don't love him. I think you had a selfish, weak moment where you probably thought what you were doing was okay for some reason or another. It doesn't make you a bad person (heck, most of us have cheated in our lives) but you definitely need to take a step back and decide who you want to be with. Unless the guys are up for sharing, which I doubt, you're going to have to choose one or the other. Good luck!
  • I cheated once because although I loved my husband very much, I wanted someone to love me and on our wedding night he had said he only married me because we had been together for 4 years and he didn't know what else TO DO. Bad, dumb reason to get married, don't you think? The problem is no matter HOW I justified MY choices and behaviors at the time...THEY WERE WRONG, HURTFUL to both him and myself, and caused me, at one point in time, to try and take my own life, because I didn't want to live with the guilt...I loved them both at that point and didn't know how to end either relationship, but wanted SOMETHING to end to get me out of the emotional mess I had helped to create by my actions. Now you don't sound especially guilty feeling per se (yet) to me, you sound like you just don't want to get caught! Maybe with a small touch of guilt. But I imagine you are still wrapped tightly in the whole EGO trip of being wanted right now..the thrill of the forbidden perhaps. You can play it out anyway you want, but from my heart I say; if you have any sense of right and wrong...(and it appears to me that you do) you already KNOW, you've made a bad choice. It's not bad that you are attracted to someone else, or even that you want to be sexual with him, but like me YOU SHOULD END what you are IN before you step outside of your relationship. The fact that you made a mistake in HOW you chose to behave doesn't mean you are a horrible person, it means that you made a horrible choice and NOW, you have to stop thinking with your ego, your clit whatever it is you are thinking with besides your BRAIN....and decide if you are going to continue to be self-centered and self-absorbed OR take the higher road and clean up your act. How would you feel if it was YOU being cheated on by the guy (who I'll assume) loves you? The Guy you trusted? My husband said (after 5 years of marriage that he DID grow to love me, but it was too late for me...the pain had grown too much and I thought I was making a better deal with someone who loved and wanted me right from the get-go. (and the other guy did love me, but he had other problems that were far more scary at the time and that ended too after 4 years.) It's hard...we were in our 20's and I suppose you are young now too. All I can say is that really hurting someone you care about for selfish reasons, hurts you back for a long, long time. It makes you question what sort of person you are, and not always in good or comfortable ways. I see you posted this in January...I hope by now you have figured out how to choose the less selfish path and that you are on that path.
  • You should be ashamed of yourself!
  • If you tell him, don't expect him to be ok with it, or even to want to work things out. If you were tempted to cheat, and did, there's obviously something else that you're looking for. It all depends on you. I know I could never keep a secret like that... the guilt would eat away at me. Do what you feel is in your heart.
  • You should just break up with the boyfriend. Whether or not you tell him about your cheating isn't important. The fact that you're not ready for commitment is the issue and you owe it to him to admit that you are not ready.
  • If you really loved him you wouldn't have cheated on him. No... Don't tell him (it will only hurt him worse)... Leave him (And I'd suggest that if you end up with the other guy, would EITHER of you trust the other not to cheat? After all, he cheated with a committed woman, and you cheated though committed...)
  • Consider breaking up until you can get your head straight. It's not fair or healthy for either of you to continue in a relationship where you have doubts and he has no basis for trust.
  • I thin that your mouth, like your legs, will not be able to stay shut for long. So he will find out soon enough
  • New booty is always exciting,but if your B/F finds out, do u think it was worth it?
  • Oh it will end with both of them. Your cheating will lead to the dissolution of both relationships. That's just the way it works. If you can't understand this, I feel sorry for you. Well...sort of.
  • Just want to keep them both, sounds like. That's not going to end well for anyone. Have the decency to tell them both and make a decision. Is that what you'd want?
  • not to worry He probably has read this and knows
  • By italygoesblonde1 on January 13th, 2007
  • You wouldn't like it if he cheated on you.
  • maybe you should just stop cheating then
  • Tell him what happened, cause sooner or later he will find out and dump you like a bad habit.
  • maybe you should just stop cheating then

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