• Fighting jealousy isn't easy. It's been around since the days of the Egyptians and the Bible. Jealousy has existed for thousands of years. But others have wrestled with jealousy and won. So can you. Step 1: Isolate the Cause of the Jealousy You may think that the jealousy is caused by your partner looking sexy ... or by a certain person at work. But that isn't the real cause. That is just a symptom. If you are always jealous of other people, figure out what it is about them you wish you had, and if it is attainable or not. If it is, sit down and work on a plan to attain that goal. If it is not - if you want to be 10 years younger like a friend is - instead concentrate on WHY that goal would mean a lot. Do you wish you were more active? That you went out more? Work on the real goals that the qualifier *represents*. If it is something you truly cannot change, then work on feeling good about what you *do* have, and being happy with that aspect of you. Step 2: Focus on Eliminating One Jealousy Trigger You need to realize that the jealousy is able to be overcome. So think about your partner, and think about a particular trigger event that happens that really makes you jealous. What is the trigger event? What do you fear it means? What is the worst that could happen because of this event? Talk with your partner about the trigger event and the fears it causes. Explain that you wish to move beyond the fears, to overcome them. Now, any time this trigger event is coming up, make sure you reinforce your love with each other first. Tell each other you love each other, or just look into each other's eyes, or even re-read a letter or poem or look at a photo of each other. Think about a memory of a time you two were really happy together. Do something to remind yourself that the love you share is alive, is real, is not a wisp of mist. Then, during the trigger event, don't focus on the fears. The fears aren't real - only your mind is inventing them. Focus on the love you have with your partner. This love won't just blow away. It is a strong, real love. Remind yourself of that. If you still felt a twinge of jealousy during this, that's OK. Rome wasn't built in a day. But keep making that effort, and you will forge new thought patterns in your brain, that will soon become the normal, happy way you view the world. Step 3: Build Up your Self Esteem To generalize, just about every jealous situation is caused by the jealous person feeling that they are not good enough for their partner. They feel inadequate ... they feel that "of course" their partner would leave them for someone else, if given half a chance. So one key thing to work on is to Build Up your Self Esteem. A person who is feeling jealous is feeling that they are not good enough for their partner - that their partner will see someone else out there with "More XXXXX" and the love you share will not be enough to hold the partner to you. One of the most important things you can possibly do for your relationship is to see, understand and appreciate your own good points. You SHOULD be proud of what you are, proud of the things you have accomplished, and feel worthy of the love your partner gives to you. Have your partner write a list of the 10 traits your partner likes best in you. Don't include things beyond your control, like physical traits. Include things about YOU that are part of your personality and hobbies. Now look through the list. If you're not feeling worthy of your partner's love, you have a list to focus on! Don't forget to also spend time on things YOU love. Make a list of the top five hobbies or activities you would REALLY like to do in the next few months and think of ways in which you could do at least a few of these things. There always needs to be a balance of happy activities in your life. If you don't have enough 'fun time', you can get grumpy ... which makes the people around you grumpy ... which makes your relationship grumpy. You might not even realize that YOU are causing most of that unhappiness! If you focus, even for 2 weeks, on finding small blocks of time to make YOU happy, you might be amazed at how the world around you reacts to that. Once you have become happy with life, and happy with your relationship, the world will become a much friendlier place. You will realize that the people you were very jealous of before now don't bother you at all. You will know that you love your partner, your partner loves you, and no random other people could come between you two and the love you share. There will ALWAYS be people who are richer or sexier or have more possessions. None of those have anything to do with love. Reference Link:
  • just remember that no one is perfect.
  • Love but detach
  • The root of your jealousy may actually be a wanting of something. Just let go of the wanting of that something and you will be free. How to do it? Ask yourself, "Could I let go of wanting this?" If you can, it will go on its own. If not, allow yourself to hold on to it until you're ready.
  • maybe by asking them how they got it so you can get it yourself

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