ANSWERS: 89
  • Um this is a tricky one... Usually this means the relationship has run its course.... I have had this myself and it seemed to me that it was a way for my ex girlfriend to bring the relationship to an easier end.. wether for my sake or for hers I don't know... If she needs time to herself then fair enough, but I suggest you get on with your own life, don't go looking for another relationship straightaway (rebound) as they will seem very attractive and exciting.. But in the future if you are single and meet someone new and you become an item then fine.. Sorry to be blunt but if your "ex" comes back on the scene it is tough on her. It isn't fair to expect a person to wait indefinately for this sort of reason.
  • I would say it is best to simply move on. This is the same excuse as 'I need my space' or 'I'm being smothered'. If you're hardly seeing her anymore then she probably just wants out of the relationship completely. This excuse is usually a cop-out for lack of a better reason to end the relationship. If she comes back, great. But don't wait for her, because it may be a long time, and there's no reason for you to put your life on hold because of this.
  • You need to go out and live your life. If she decides to come around, then great, and if not, then forget about her. You'll meet someone else. I know it's rather obnoxious to say this, but it's true there's always other fish in the sea. You can't focus your entire life around one person if they're not going to be there for you emotionally. If she doesn't come around within say a month, then forget her. She's only wasting your time and playing mind games with you, or confused. Life is too short to focus all your energies on one person, if they're not going to return their affections for you. Bottom line: Go out and have fun and call her in about 1 month, if no answer, or confused, then tell her that you're not confused, you're living your life. Good luck & I hope this helps you!
  • But that might be very difficult if your feelings for her are very strong still. im in the same situation and for me i dont want anyone else i want her. why is it that she just wants to suddenly end it? why are girls so damn confusing.
  • I think when they say that....women r usually thinkin about whether they want this relationship or to move on.and not actually take time to get back to her ex.
  • listen, i just went through all of this. the dreaded "i need space/time". the person you are indeed talking about is finished with the relationship. its hard to swallow, but its the stone cold truth. by this time she has moved on and you are yesterdays news. whatever you do, DO NOT BEG TO GET HER BACK!!! she will despise you for this and you will have absolutely no chance of EVER getting her back. be strong and know that it will eventually get easier.
  • I believe if you really love your ex, like I do, you will be willing to wait for her. My situation is different in that I have given her the time that she has asked for and she is being more open with me now. Every situation is different. We didn't talk for months and now she has started to call me and we are talking more. I can't expect things to go back to how they were over night, so I have to be patient. Women need space for different reasons, sometimes it is an excuse for a breakup and sometimes they actually mean it. Maybe it isn't the best time in her life right now. The more you pull away, the better chances of getting back together, very hard to do though. Remember, if it is meant to be it will happen, that isn't just a cheesy saying. My ex has been through alot in her past and I have told her that I will always be here for her no matter what. I love her with all my heart and I hope we have another chance together. Give things time and be patient, every situation is different and a persons past can have a big influence on how they handle things now.
  • Funny my bro is going thro that now. He really lvs his ex and thinks she was the "one" but he is stubborn and won't admit to some of his mistakes. There is always to sides to a story.They spent lots of time togth but honesty my bro is just needy. Now he is heartbroken we are worried about him. He pretends to smile when it's fake. They broke up becauz he made mistakes and she didn't want to be hurt anymore. So she spent less time getting hurt by him.(Go figure) Our advice to him was that when the one is in front of his face, fight for her and tell her how he feels. Work things out. Many times we saw how good she was for him, but he needed to protect his "pride. I asked him a week ago, how would you feel if she is with someone new? Is that really ok? He said he didn't care. That was a lie. Today he still acts fake. Spends alot of time with fendz lately but you can tell he misses spending time alone with her. I ran into her recently. She also acts fake. Easy to see they need each other
  • You're a free agent. Her loss.
  • Let her go, when she tells you "time to herself" she is just trying to be nice and say she really isn't into you anymore.
  • Just let her go, it's over and she used a cop out to save face. Now go find yourself a new girl. You'll be better off.
  • she may still love you but she doesnt love you the way you need her to if she cant be with you. let her go and see what shes missing out on. if she sees that your wrapped around her finger , she'll keep you hanging on a string for however long she wants. dont let her take you for granted.
  • Let her go.
  • Let her go.
  • girls dont know what the hell they want. Speding too much time with one another can be overwhelming for one, and one may feel smuthered. Best thing is to leave one alone. Do not initiate contact if u are teh heartbroken one. Let the other one that initiated the break up contact you. Try not to be on the fone for more than a min literally. this will make them upset and hurt and feel as if they need you more. Let them earn their way back into your life. If they dont come back nor do they initiate contact. My best sugguestion is to completely remove them from your life. You dont need their bull shit.
  • I'd just move on. I've been in this situation before for months on end. It's not worth it!
  • Let her go and move on. They say you don't know what you have got until it's gone. Lifes far too short to hang about not knowing where you stand or whats going on. Put yourself first and give her the space she has requested
  • bro, i'm in the same shitty boat... I am confused more than i have ever been in my whole life. I thought i had this girl in the bag for good and then all of a sudden 2 weeks ago she says 'she wants time to sort her self out'??? everything was going fine too (so I thought) we been together 6 months and she is amazing, this is the first real time ive been messed about by a girl (i have been lucky) so really hitting me hard. I told her that was it and ended it but then she cals me crying saying she need to see me! so i go round there and she is in floods of tears and makes me stay the night!?!? We are still "together" now but she is still distant, im giving her space and not hounding her but its tough. You just feel like ur being fuced around (which u are). 1 thing i learnt is DONT give them the upper hand! by crying and showing ur hurt. Then they think they have won. Girls are fucked, thats what it boils down to man... blokes just tell it how it is. I'm thinking of breaking it off. maybe u should too..? Good luck
  • could suffer from depression
  • If you love her, set her free, if she comes back to you, then it was meant to be.
  • I'd say let her go.
  • I dont really have advice but i do have a quote... If you really love her let her go and if she comes back then you'll know... Its true and meant to be... let her have her space.. maybe there are some things going on in her life that she needs to fix. and she doesn't want to bring you down on it.
  • Fact is, and sorry ladys, but women generally don't know what they want. In a way she's trying to tell you this--but more importantly she telling you that her feelings for you are but lukewarm. Better to just end it. Heal. There's more life out there--go get some!!
  • just let her go, and move on. you'll be surprised what will happen to you in the future. She'll know too what she missed with you. I know, b/c the girl which I wrote a whole story about wanted to try again with me, but unfortunately it was too late, b/c my feeling for her became totally meaningless (I don't know how or why, but it just happened). Dude, TIME HEALS EVERYTHING, you just have to have patience. Take it easy bro.
  • she said " I still love you but I need time to myself"...guy she wants to leave but she doesn't want to hurt you doing it..Don't wait for her..she's telling you she has already left you :(
  • Spaces and time alone, is indeed bad. in my opinion you shouldn't let her go, give it a day or a week. then ask her. (so how was the time alone?) Then go on do your romantic words, to claim her back she admitted herself that she still loves you, so why not stay?, who knows she might be just testing your capabilities to handle such moments. Relationships arent like T-Shirts, when they worn out, youll just dump them on the nearby trash can Dude it takes foundations to create one If you let go, you loose no one wins, and just wasted your time. so think again :)
  • give her the time and space that she needs, smothering her will only push her further.....but giving her the space will either let her realize she likes it better without you, or she misses you and wants to be with you......Its a good thing for her, but may be bad for you, but you can't force anyone to love you
  • Same just happened to me bro last night, just let her go man the grass is not always greener.
  • My girlfriend just pulled the "out-of-nowhere" break up on me as well. It's excruciating to not be able to talk to her. She says that she still loves me and always will but needs some down time to figure some stuff out and just be. I think she was a bit scared of how serious our relationship was so she panicked. I'm hoping that she'll realize that there's nothing to be scared of. Just hang in there man. When a girl says she needs "space" or "time to herself" there's nothing you can do except respect that decision. Hang tight, and they'll come around sooner or later.
  • id give her a week or so then go sit her down in a calm matter and talk it out to get to the bottom of things for example if she needs space then theres a problem that you both need to work on a realationship with problems has to be worked on with both people not just one claiming to need space and not telling the other person why they need space anytime anyone tells you this tell them to tell you why they need space this everytime will give you a good idea what the end of the timeout will be well thats all i have to say for now good luck on your cituation thanks the iron man
  • She dumped you. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and walk away,holding your head high. Never look back.
  • women are the most evil thing on the plannet it seems they get a kick from bein evil and nasty. im kind ov in the same situation ,its trashing my head and hurts more than any punch in the world, when i ask her questions she cant give me a straight awnser ,i love her loads and id do anything for her, but it just seems like love isnt enough for her anymore !!!!
  • If she broke up with you to work herself out, give her that time. If she still loves you but broke up with you it must be something she has to get through on her own. Give her the time & space she needs and if things work out maybe you'll get back together. For now though, consider it a formal break-up and go on with your life as you need. Don't wait for something that may never happen, you're doing yourself a disservice if you do.
  • I have found that when that happens its over, she just doesn't have the courage to be honest with you or herself. I know it hurts.. move on. Seems like she did
  • I'm in the same situation now. Problem is all is going well until one fine day, all of a sudden she just hangs up on my call and stop sending me any text!! I don't even know what hit me! All was going well the night before and the next day she stops all communication with me.....today is the 6th day since it happen. If she tells me that she wants to break up I'm fine with it problem is she just doesn't even want to speak to me. How the hell do i know what happen at all? What should I do now? Its driving me mad!! Btw, she went back to her country about 2 months back so we are now in a long distance relationship....
  • I suggest that you take some time off for yourself as well as for the benefit of the relationship by trying to occupy yourself with the things that are important in life. You know, the fundamentals, getting little things done and the usual things too. In so doing, you may find that you would feel differently than you do today and will be ready to move on or whatever.
  • I think that's another way to say "it's over". Just let it go i guess, there's no reason to force it.
  • i was in the same sitiuation a few months ago but i couldn't let her go. but in the end she jus stopped answering my txts,phone calls everything so i had no option but to let her go in the end. so just let her go and she will come bk if she loves you that much.
  • Let her go if it's meant to be she'll come back
  • She can't love you that much?
  • Let her have time to herself. I know it sucks, but when she says she needs time to herself don't make the mistake of calling her, and trying to see her that will just push her further away. Give her some time to come around, and if she doesn't, then it is time to let her go.
  • God I loved her so much. She even said that I was the perfect boyfriend but she was having family issues and I think that poisoned our relationship. If I could do anything to have her back I would but it seems that everyone has told me to give her space and time. I'm afraid that if I do that I'll just lose her quicker.
  • +let her go young winston. ....Shes moved on. Thats why you dont see her anymore.
  • If you really love her, just stick her with, but give her space. Everyone just needs space sometimes.
  • Let her go. Don't try and phone or text or see her as that will only push her further away. It could be a temporary thing (at least she hasn't used the infamous cop-out phrase "I need space") but the best way to deal is to find other things you enjoy in life.
  • I am currently going through the very same thing. My girlfriend and I have been dating for 14 months now, and just recently we had to take some time away for ourselves. We currently go to university together, and live 15 minutes away. A few days ago my girlfriend told me that she doesnt know who she is. She told me that school, her friends, her family and our relationship has been so stressful on her that she is so fed up with everything. She was very upset and did not know what to do and told me that she did not know who she was (emotionally). I tried to convince her that I personally know her because how can one love another without knowing who they are. All she kept saying was that she needed time for herself to figure things out and to figure out who she is and what she needs to do. She has placed school as her top priority, therefore placing me at the bottom now i guess, below her friends and family. She told me that just for a little while she needs space for herlself. Ive tried to say I love you to her, but I do not get anything in response. She says that soon we will get things back in order, but i am very doubtful and worried. I truely love this girl with all my heart - and have been so torn apart. I cannot seem to function correctly and think. I am a very active athlete and typically accel in school, but lately I do not have energy to get up and to eat. Can somebody please help me figure things out. I tear up everytime I think of her, so the sooner I can get things fixed and or settled, the better it is for the both of us.
  • Girls are confuse about who they are - most of the time. Some need to sort things out because females tend to be pleasers, sweet, submissive, carers, givers to many people in their lives, the danger is when they start to run empty, they try to speak out their needs only to get brushed off as irrevelant, imagined fear, unreasonable, jealours, petty or pms? Without much success in their communication they withdraw to seek solance and peace, in order to recollect they thoughts, hurt and unfullfilled needs. So it healing time for them-it best to listen carefully when a girt speaks- for she speaks with her heart as well as her mind. If not taken seriously enough you will lose her.
  • This is exactly what I just went through. 14 months, totally in love, no problems, and my girlfriend had some serious family issues occur. She is a loving, kind, generous person, and the family issues dragged her down to feeling zero. Now, rather than wanting the perfect life and marriage, she doesn't know what to believe in. She asked for a breakup because she is under too much stress to be in a relationship. I am 27 and she is 23 so I understand that we are at different points, I just am lost. I really want to be with her, but I also want to move on so that she doesn't feel the pressure of me waiting. Everyone I have talked to says, "If it's meant to be, it's meant to be." At first I was more ready to fight for what I believed in. This is my first ever being dumped and I have been having a horrible time. However, when I sit back at times when I actually feel better, I know deep down she loves me. If she didn't, we wouldn't have been together so long in the first place. She needs space to remember how she felt about me in the best times when she loved me and not when she was upset and couldn't feel love.
  • Look my GF of 9 years dumped me and ran off with my best mate of 20 years,trust me i was down but life is short it's only been 4 months now and i'm back on track had a few 1 nights stands to make me feel better about my self but i'm now dating a real nice girl and i'm happy again the point is move on and once she sees you enjoying yourself it will make her mind up alot quicker than if she knows you are waiting for her good luck
  • She's already let you go. Move on.
  • Seriously dude, come on now. She dumped you. Let me say that again, she dumped you. Why the hell would you buy into her love mumbo jumbo when she clearly means that she loves not being with you. Let the skank go, she clearly hates you and your stuff. Hit up craigs list and find a good tranny in your area for some comfort. Make sure you are not the small spoon
  • Like you, many of us are confused about this type of situation. I've been living with my girlfriend for 2 years and she now is saying that she needs space, but then she talks about marriage and kids. But if I ask her now, she says that she would say no. Since you are already broken up, but want her back, I wouldn't date anyone, but have fun, go out, meet people and keep yourself busy. You never know, you might see she wasn't right for you or she might come back to you.
  • i dont want to give any false hopes, but if she said that she still loves you, well maybe she does. but as the same thing as everyone. every person needs their own space, maybe its not all about you. maybe she's still wondering what she wants in her life, and who she is. my advice is just give her some time. its also to help you to gain a clear perspective and not based with fear of losing. i've been through stuff like this a lot, and i could say that although it feels hard like hell, and its perfectly okay to be sad. just get a grip of yourself, and be cool. if you stay cool, she might be wondering, that maybe you already got someone else, and might consider of getting back.
  • i am in this situation rite now... except i split with my boyfriend. im not gettin your hopes up cuz i dont no your situation... but i still c my ex. still text everyday etc. i still love him a hell of a lot. it does not mean she never wants to no again
  • Just back away and let her have her space. If she really loves you, she'll come back to you when she's ready. Don't force anything, that will just make things worse.
  • SOMETIMES I ALSO FEEL LIKE THAT, THAT MY BOYFRIEND WILL JUST GIVE ME SPACE TO FIND MYSELF. ITS NOT THAT SHE DOES NOT LOVE U,COUL BE THERE IS SOMETHING BOTHERING HER, MAYBE SHE JUST WANT TO SHORT HER ISSUES OUT. THATS WHAT I REALLY DO.
  • Let her go start seeing other girls maybe she will realize what she lost and want to go again, but don't hold your breath for that, just live for the day and have fun in your life.
  • Let her go, leave her alone and realise that what she does is none of your business. She rejected you so its up to her now to gain your attention in the future if she can't stand by her decision. Guys make the mistake of thinking they know what's best and try to keep in close contact, hoping that she'll suddenly see something she misses by you being there and get back with you. GET REAL ... she's already told you what she wants, so let her get on with it. You are free to do what you want and guess what its none of her business what you do etc. If she contacts you be polite and pleasant but don't let her know that you've been missing her. Everytime I let my dog off the lead in the park I don't follow her around everywhere in case I lose her, if I lose her I lose her, but she usually comes back. (not comparing my dog to a girlfriend - but theres some principles behind the theory which make sense). She's not around to make you feel good anymore, so surround yourself with exciting people and try your best to go out and have fun. As others have said, you will get over this and it really does all happen for a reason. All the best
  • Let her go, if she's using that line on you then she's at the very least dishonest and manipulative.
  • Let her go...there are many others out there!!!
  • My girlfriend just broke up with me. She says she still loves me but just needs time to herself, so I hardly get to see her any more. Should I try to stay with her or let her go? ANSWER: Your answer is in your first sentence. You state that, "my girlfriend just broke up with me". That says it all. Of course you should let go, she broke up with you. If you persist, that would only be stalking or obsession. The key words there are "broke up". You didn't say that you had an argument; you said,"broke up with me". You are probably just feeling lonely and that is why you ask that question. Even if you miss your girlfriend, the way to get over that is to begin living your life --fully, joyfully without your ex-girlfriend. Celebrate life today..and know that you can and will and do exist, live and thrive without needing another person attached to you. Life is for couples, marrieds and for singles. Now, you are in the single area. So celebrate life. Do whatever makes you happy. Go where happy people are. Get a hobby for yourself. Or go back to school or go volunteer somewhere. There are about ten thousand things you can do without fretting over an ex-girlfriend. Key word here is "ex". Start living in the present , right now. You might want to read the book by Greg, called, "He's Just not That Into Me". That will help you immensely. When someone breaks up with you, that relationship is ended, up in smoke; so leave it like that.
  • I need help. My girl freind just dumped me after two years of a relationship. She said she needed space and time to think. She keeps texting me saying she miss's me and loves me but when i even mention "How long do you need this space?" or "then why cant we get back together?" She gets upset at me and says she just needs space. Im so lost. She is everything to me. I love her so much. And i dont even know what to feel. I just cant stop crying or get over her. Please i need advice. And i dont even know what to feel.
  • let it go. it's a bit much that she's still texting when she also wants space. too many mixed messages, prob just looking for the attention. if she's keen she would be with you still
  • Dude move on. She's banging somebody else. NO matter what she says, she's involved w/ another guy. She's keeping you around just in case something goes wrong w/ who she's with. There are tons of chicks out there, go get one.
  • How may people answering this question realise that it's 4 years old and the person asking hasn't been on AB since Oct 20 2004? I realise that old questions can still be useful for new members who have the same issues, but come on, this has already been answered 64 times. I think we've exhausted all possible answers, don't you?
  • Get on with your life. If she wants to be in it, you'll know.
  • You can't really do anything! To be honest, women only say that they want time for themselves if A)you hurt them somehow and they need thinkin time to consider if they want to give the relationship another go. Or B) They like or love someone else and want to see how that goes and still want to keep you on standby! Seiously and thats the truth,,,she prob still does love you but maybe not like she used to! I personally think shes being sly. Its easier said than done i know but try and crack on and meet other girls.best of luck
  • Smile at her, take her for a candle light dinner, smile at her and say "Thank you for being with me for so many days, I loved you for what you are and Good bye"
  • let her go man dont put your lif on hold for a woman that isnt sure she wants to be with you trust me its not a good thing man its better to move on for now if she comes running back then u can decide what to do from there
  • Follow what is in your heart. Send some flowers, express how you feel about her, don't give up and let her go.
  • let her go because if she really loves u then she will come back to u and dont just tell her whatever look herr in the eyes and say i understand and i hope we still are friends and if she says u are then hang out with her like a friend no pet names no lovey-dovey stuff show her u can get over it by doing what else getting over it and if she loves u she will tell u by wanting u again
  • I had the same thing happen to me. He ended things and said "but i still love you". And it's been a year and he hasn't come back! let her go! She wouldn't break up with you if she loved you.
  • id say let go her
  • then never go back to her shell come back
  • You've no choice... she's let you go. You should let the memory go... or preserve it in a nice way.
  • You can't FORCE someone to be with you ... that is stalking . If you love her , let her go ... If she loves YOU, she'll come back ... If not ; It was NOT meant to be ... I'd give her about two weeks or so ... then , if she was not back .. MOVE ON .
  • It's hard to be attracted to someone desperately needy. If you try to cling to her you will alienate her. Give her her space, and have a great time without her. If she truly loves you she will come back. If she doesn't, continue to have a great time without her.
  • um...I think you are having a little trouble comprehending the "my girlfriend just broke up with me part" because you are broke up like it or not. p.s.- time to herself is ex-gf talk for wants to see other people. sorry
  • Is it really your choice at this point? She's made the decision, respect it and her by letting her do it.
  • No- let her go big time- dont beat a dead horse.
  • things would have been easier for me if i just left from the begining...i went throught the exact same thng you r going through now and i decided to stay and belive me i regret it cuz he never changed .. he did it agai n agai n again.. n just thnk of it why does she needz time apart from you and you dont ?!! simple cuz you love her and she just dont or is simply not sure of her feelings...
  • You have no choise but to let her go.... well at least for now Whether you get her back or start seing someone els - by giving her the space she ask for works in your favour in more ways then 1 (infact by having no cantact with her you up your chances of getting her back by about 3) 1# Having no contact will make her think where you are, what you do, or have you moved on)(wondering thoughts) 2# Having no contact will give you time to sort out your thoughts, life and change the things that made her leave you in the first place. 3# Having No contact will let you work on the correct speach/answer you going to have with her in a month or two. 4# Having no contact increase the chance she will call you, which put you in a much better position than if you have to call her. Anyway how far do you thing youl get by bombarding her with flowers right now or cry over the phone ?? "Pull your self toghether" It will be the thing she wants most from you right now (althoug she will never tell you that) Scoot
  • Bad luck dude, you really do have to give her the space she wants if you want to have any chance of her coming back to you. That being said wanting space is usually just a euphemism for I'm leaving you so I'd brace yourself for bad news.... hopefully I'm wrong.
  • I'm sorry to say this but she's already done with you. she may be trying to break up with you without hurting you. what she doesn't realize is she will hurt you ten fold by doing it this way. I know because It just happened with me. I never thought someone i cared for so much, been through so much and alwys came out on the other side closer would be so cold hearted instead of being honest. A break just sounds better in her head. It doesn't matter what the situation is, if your partner says I need time for myself. They mean "I dont have time for you anymore"
  • dt let her go.if she loves u,she ll cum back.n if u luv her u ll wait for her.best wishes for your relation
  • you know what? i think you have to let her go..sorry to say but, begging or waiting for her is a waste of time..those kind of excuse or reason is just a way of lessen the pain while saying goodbye to a person..if i were you, just put your attention to other things.. sports can be..
  • It's already over, she's just holding onto you while she test the waters with other guys. The point is she's living without you. By doing it this way she thinks she's making it easier on you but what she's doing is actually cruel.
  • It happened to me and it meant the relation is over,leave her,start over my friend.good luck
  • my girlfriend has just broke me up too. she did even not say goodbye and take care of yourself. i'm with her for 3 years,with love togheter and we've spent unforgeteable moments togheter. I'm heart-broken now but i try to swalow it even if it's extemely hard. today i've called her to know why she broke me up,she said "don't call me anymore,i've a new boyfriend and i sweer it to god".i don't know what to say or what to do,all i do now is spending s much tme in front of my pc or taking à walk alone just to forget her but i can't,really i can't.i've read all of your comments and i find a little peace with reading, because i'm alone, my familly leaves me alone and my friends too. So i find myself in a deadly loneliness

Copyright 2018, Wired Ivy, LLC

Answerbag | Terms of Service | Privacy Policy