ANSWERS: 25
  • i'm sure u've heard that saying 'time heals all wounds' its true, u will never be 100% over it, but in time u will come to deal with it, just keep talking to her, tell her how u feel and that u just need to hear reasurince of your love, its gonna be hard and im sure it is, but just hold on. Take up an activity or hobby to take ur mind off and dont keep ur pain inside, talk to her good luck hun, its a hard and brave thing to go back to a person after this
  • well, its hard but you just have to put all your enegery into trying to trust her againa nd trying to make the relationship work. if she is truely sorry and has chosen to be with you then you have no option but to try to put it in the past. It will take time and reassurance and effort on her part and if if she is willing to put the effort in then good luck to you both xx
  • You have to go to conselling they will help you with it..if you want to stay married to her and have your sanity..see professional help
  • Its all a matter of time, really. See how geat she is, look at her positive side! And if she cheated on you, in most cases its the mans fault, sorry to say. Maybe you didnt give her enough of what she wanted!? It doesnt have to be only sex, she could have been looking for an emotional connection because she wasnt getting oe from you. Try to be there for her, since you decided to stay with her, and if you really cant get over it yourself you should seek some help from a pro!good luck and sorry to hear :(
  • You can leave the cheating hoe bag and find a wife that wont betray your trust for one. That might be a good start. Now, for anyone wishing to have their minds sufficiently blown out of their ass at rapid fire speed......go to this blog. http://monkeymind19.blogspot.com/
  • I would recommend couseling for both of you. I don't think that it's something you ever truley get over. I think you can choose to accept it and move on from there, but you will always have to live with it.
  • She might just need something taht she can't get from you. I'd been there. Youneed an open communication with her.
  • If she has reformed from her cheating ways and you cant let it go... then its your problem. dont ever take it out on her or begrudge her with your issues. If you cant be happy, time to move on.
  • 1st of all, she should have never cheated on you. And if you took her back then you should let the past stay in the past. Obviously you guys are still trying to work things out, so if you're still letting this bother you and interfere with the relationship then it won't work. I know it bothers you, but you decided to take it back, so unfortunately it's something that you're going to have to deal with and hopefully get over. Now, If she does it again, Kick her ass to the CURB!
  • Remember people do stupid things, no one is perfect. If you can't let it go then you need to move on. Because you'll just keep using it against her after she thought that you had forgive and let that past be in the past.
  • let her know your doubts.
  • Tell yourself this over and over again until it gets through your head: 'What's done is done and cannot be undone.' That's a quote from Shakespeare. Lady Macbeth said it.
  • Well, just make peace with what happened, and don't focus on the negative - but focus on the positives that your wife brings into your life. Focus on the good things she does for you, and realize that that was one mistake, and hopefully she learned from it and will never do it again. If she doesn't thats when you need to start worrying again.
  • When does it bother you the most? In reflection, periodically, when she goes out, or when you have sex? Do you view love and sex as one and the same? How do you see marriage? It's not easy to answer your question and that is why I ask mine back to you. Your perspective on the situation needs to be outlined so you may look at your situation in a different light.
  • lots of time and a psychiatrist or just a therapist. Its a very scarring, heavy situation, but if you guys can wipe the slate clean, there's hope in the relationship if you guys both work at it together,
  • I could not after ten years get it out of my head. I ended up destroying her life, and thus vengence was the answer. 30 yrs later, and the acts still feel good. Listen to your insides.
  • I cheated on someone I love out of complete stupidity and insecurities. He didn't want a commitment at the time, or openly admited that we were dating. He gave me the impression that he didn't care. I started seeing someone else, but lied to him about it. Because hey, he doesn't care, right?! WRONG. I admitted what I was doing and he hated me. He told me to get rid of the other guy. I did in a heartbeat. After talking it out, he said it was partially his fault. That he did in fact love me, but could never tell me. I felt completly devestated with my actions. I thought after I moved in with him that all was forgiven and forgotten. But 1.5 years later he has come out and it has left a festering wound in his heart. I had no idea... he now believes that I would do this again. never in a million years would I do something SO HEARTLESS. But he CAN'T get over it. I would do anything in the world for him. But in all honesty, it resides in each individual to work it out, and depending on your communication, dedication, and love, is how the outcome will be. I'm praying that we can get through this, I'd can never see myself living with out him.
  • Forgiveness is not earned for Jesus Christ already paid the price. However, trust does have to been earned. With counseling, set up some rules and guidelines that can begin to rebuild the bridge of trust. Both of you need to realize this is not a quick fix, and will take time. When ever someone does something wrong, one must realize even thought we can be forgiven consequenses of our actions will always follow. We do tend to reap what we sow. Cheating is sowing lies and manipulation because of not believing in the relationship. Therefore, one will reap a lack of faith in the relationship as a whole, and in some cases death in the relationship. Both parties need to begin sowing trust into the relationship, with words and actions. This may mean not going out with the guys, or the girls for a while. Or doing couple night out. If you have kids pick dates that are for the family, and other dates that are for just the two of you.
  • Have her to go with you for professional help...it is one of the worse pains you will ever feel, people should really think about what this fling will do to the other person, and as the old saying goes, they think they will never get caught...not true !! are they sorry for what they have done, or sorry they got caught?? I could never trust a partner that did that to me..my personal feeling is, if you can't trust one another in small things, how could you ever trust them with larger issues...marriage vows should be sacred and it takes 2 to make it work, if the other person doesn't believe that then you are wasting your time and life on an empty relationship, and with all the disease out there...sorry, I would have to pass....Good luck
  • IN THIS CASE YOU MUST NOT HAVE REGULAR INTERCOURSE WITH HER FOR 6 MONTHS. You must instead have only anal intercourse with her but use a lot of lube. No condom is to be employed. Allow her to face you on top and look into her eyes deeply when your climax results. For the next 6 months she must go down on you and swallow the load. On weekends this should be proceeded with anal intercourse without lube. This advise is taken from an old African text on keeping the cheating wife interested in you forever. This technique is actually possessed of magical powers and will prevent your wife from ever looking at another man to please her. Please post your results so that others may also be assisted.
  • ********ask her about her genuine feelings for you & what actually is in her mind. If you find she dosent love you then let her go.. & at any cost never let her enter in your life again. if she still loves you, ensure that she will love more than before and will die bt wont repeat the mistake. good luck.
  • im going through the same thing, i cheated on my bf and i dont ever want to do it again because the guilt is so much and it hurts to see them hurt. you just have to believe that she will not do it again it will hurt from time to time but it will get easier in time. maybe you guys should try a break for a while and see if that will make you happier try finding yourself again and try again later.
  • Watch these videos. (About 1 hour.) http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=9E35FEA8D15246F5
  • My parents went through an EXTREMELY complicated situation that involved cheating. My dad moved out for a while, didn't tell anyone where he was, it was a mess. I was certain my parents would split after 23 years of marriage. One day, out of the blue, my dad walked through the back door. Neither of them said a word, they just embraced and cried. I left the room so that they could be alone. This summer they celebrate their 25 anniversary. I know that hurtful things were said and done by both of my parents, but somehow they worked out their differences. They're not religious, my dad refused counseling, they made it work on their own. I personally believe that if you love someone enough, you owe it to the relationship, the vows that you both once took, to take the leap of faith. As the old saying goes, "fool me once shame on me, fool me twice shame on you." She hasn't fooled you twice yet. Try to work it out. If you have kids...do it for them.
  • be open and honest with her about why you can't seem to put this behind you,the biggest part of a relationship depends on your communicating skills with your partner and willyness to listen also.

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