ANSWERS: 100
  • I don't think you were wrong and I believe your wife will see your wisdom when she cools off.
  • That is a blessing that he has the mind to know what kind of diseases can be spread and the fact that he knows he doesn't want to be a father just yet. I don't think you were wrong, I'm speaking as a small percentage of my female friends who had to miss their own graduation ceremony or quit school because they had a baby.
  • She's probably more mad that her baby's growing up - perhaps you need to have 'that talk' with him...
  • No, you were not wrong. He may not even be having sex yet, at 14 it may just be cool to have the condom. If he is having sex, at least he is thinking. Your wife needs time to realize he is growing up. You get the job of helping her do that. Good Luck to all three of you.
  • You are absolutely right, but you might want to have a talk with him regarding the fact that sex is more than physical and it should involve an emotional component. Apparently, he doesn't need the birds and bees talk:)
  • No, you weren't wrong. Your wife's just mad right now & forced to face that her "baby" is growing up. He probably isn't even using the condoms, he just has them around as a symbol of teen rebellion or whatever...the same reason most every guy keeps a condom in his wallet during his teens, with no real hope of ever using it...
  • No, you're exactly right. You cannot stop a teenager who wants to have sex. You can only teach them to be safe. You should however have a talk with your son and explain all the risks involved in sex.
  • No, I don't believe that you were wrong. I think you're realizing your son is growing up and you've provided him with education/knowledge about how growing up can be painful. Using condoms can reduce that. I would talk with your son about sex, again, and also, talk with your wife about not being so controlling and accepting of your son for the growing boy that he is so that your son will not feel the need to lie and when he is ever in a "jam", he can openly come to you and your wife.
  • In order to pacify your wife, tell her you'll talk to your son. Not "punish' but talk to. Then talk to him when you're out doing something else together, so it's not an awkward, face to face, discussion. Tell him what his mother's concerns are, and any reasons you would have for him abstaining from sex, whether they be religious, moral, health, whatever. Then tell him what you told us -- that you're thankful he has the maturity to use condoms. Also, make sure you let him know that he can always come to you and talk at any time.
  • No, you weren't wrong. Your son may be young, but he's showing maturity and responsibility by using protection. Try pointing out to your wife all the questions here on AB about unprotected sex. I'm sure you know the ones, the "We had sex without a condom, could I be pregnant? I skipped a period." questions. Your son is smart, and like most of the other answers said, your wife is probably having trouble letting go of her little boy.
  • No you weren't wrong. Your son is still a young boy but at least he has the sense and maturity to use protection.
  • naa He might be just carrying it around jsut in case he gets lucky. I did that when I was that age. I think it finally rotted lol
  • you should at least talk to him and be certain that he will use them no matter what ... and put the ol' bag in her place !
  • You did the right thing, the worst thing you could do is punish him. And tell your wife that just because he has a condom DOES NOT mean he's having sex, (I have brothers and sons) boys that age (and younger) like to carry them around to look cool in front of their friends. But even if he is having sex, THANK GOD he's being careful.
  • You were right in this situation, but you still need to have a sex talk with him. I can understand she is upset because he is so young, but whats done is done. I'm glad you put it back because it could of made him too embarrassed to talk and he could of felt his privacy was invaded. Talk to him about it and let him know the importance of being safe, and how he is really young to be having sex.
  • She needs to Chill... And he needs a Chat.
  • he probably has not had sex yet but is at the age where he is starting to wonder what all the fuss is about and probably one or two of his friends have said they have had sex (and probably havnt) you did the right thing but i would have a chat with him away from your wife. she reacted the way she did because she is scared her little boy is growing up too quickly but to try and punish him out of having sex is ridiculous and will only make him resent her and will go ahead and do it even if he wasnt just to spite her. hope hes ok.
  • Your wife should stop snooping and you can have a talk with your son when the time is right and do it privately so as not to embarrass him. If he trusts you and you don't treat him like a criminal, he is more likely to be open, honest and ask for your advice.
  • As previously hinted, was it possible that he was "testing it out." Ah but that of course would mean he's maturbating ---another bane of the victorian mentality. Best wishes.
  • HE S hould not be punished. i think more punishable would be him impregnanting someone. but u need to talk tohim and find out if hes having sex and if so make sure thats a wise deicison for him and ensure he uses a condom every time.[hey u cant stop him from having sex]
  • Yes, you were wrong. If a fourteen year old has a condom with him in anticipation of dating my daughter and I found out, the boy would weigh about four bullets heavier. I ain't joking. Consider that aspect, dad.
  • I personaly think you was right. But Mothers do tend to think there children are children and not excepting they are growing up. Also we tend to think we was probaly still playing with our dolls at that age. Times have changes and i think he is being very mature and extremely sensible!!!! and you be proud of him.
  • I believe you made the correct call... at his age, most boys carry a condom in their wallet or have one in their locker as a badge of "maturity" - "Yup, I'm old enough to need one..." Most boys his age are not yet having intercourse... maybe playing around with heavy petting and oral sex... I would suggest, as other have, finding a time for a conversation with your wife... Teens have sex. It is a fact of life. She needs to get over it and work WITH you to develop a parenting plan to instill the next layer of values in your child with regard to sexual activity... simply confronting and forbidding won't work... in fact, it may drive your child to sexual experimentation he hasn't yet contemplated...
  • u should confront him about it
  • I remember when I was 14 years old. No you are not wrong. You need to talk to your son about this. At fourteen years old, he may be sexually confused and carries a condom with him at all times. Have a sex talk with him. If he is having sex, then he has the maturity to use condoms instead of having unprotected sex.
  • No. Who said he even used it? 14 yo boys have them to prove they are cool.
  • You're not wrong at all. Well done to your son for using common sense and having safe sex. That's if he is having sex. Finding a condom doesn't necessarily mean you boy is having sex. He may have it to be prepared if the opportunity arises.
  • well he needs to have a talk with you about sex and to let him know he ALWAYS uses a condom even in the girl is on the pill....and no, dont punish him...just dont let him out of your sight until he's 35, lol
  • i don't understand why so many parents tend to see sexual education and access to protection as "giving permission" or something. the truth is, if your kids want to have sex, they are going to, and the number one most important thing you can do is make sure that they are well educated about it. personally when i was educated about all of the dangers and disgusting or even life threatening stds, it made me NOT want to have sex, not the other way around.
  • If a 14 year old boy and my 13 year old daughter were going to have sex there is nothing I would be able to do to stop it. I give your son great credit for having the intentions of being prepared and responsible. Take the condoms away and you'll be grandparents before too long. Have a talk with him but tell him he has the right idea. Your wife should be proud of him.
  • Um, is it at all possible that he got it from a sexual education course and isn't planning on using it? Either way, I'd just sit him down and gently & openly talk to him about it. Then I would pat myself on the back for being grown up enough to know that he's not a small child anymore. Indeed, in a few short years, he'll be a man. And then I'd ask her what exactly he has done wrong? You don't even know what he's done or is planning to do yet, do you? Heck, when I was 14, I had a condom in my wallet "just in case". It was more of a false hope than a serious thought and shortly after placing it in there (2 months) I completely forgot why I had put it in there for in the first place. Be thankful that he's prepared, and tell your wife to grow up. He's not gonna be your little boy for much longer, just a few, short years...
  • Yes you are wrong just because you 14 year old son is using a condom makes you think he is responsible enough not to get an STD or HIV or knockep up a girl, but you should talk to him about having sex at that young age.
  • It's better than having to raise your grandchild....for both of their parents.
  • No you were not wrong. You showed common sense and good parenting skills by staying calm, keeping an open mind, and allowing your son his privacy. Well done!!
  • hell no your not wrong, and neither is your son. He's smart and obviously knows that he needs to use protection. Its gonna happen sooner or later and if he's gonna be active right now then atleast he's being safe... your wife needs to chill, he's not gonna be her little boy forever... would she rather him have sex without a condom or protection and get a girl pregnant at 14? i think not...
  • I think that she's terrified that a 14 year old is having sex, and that's understandable. However, he's being responsible (if he is even having sex) and that' sgreat. It can't be pushed aside though, it needs to be discussed so he knows where you both stand, even if you're not in agreement.
  • Yes and no. You were right to tell her to put it back, but not to be quiet. Your son doesn't need to be punished, but you do need to talk to him,calmly, about being sexually active and the potential consequences. He needs to know his parents are there for him and can provide answers for him if he has questions.
  • i think neither of you are wrong i think its very understandable to be angry at finding a condom in a 14 year olds room, she is scared, worried, and thinks that you think its ok to have sex at 14 but yes at least he is thinking about contraception. i think both of you should sit and ask him about the condom, its very likely he got it from school and its there for the future, im 20 and when i was at schools all the boys carried condoms around, were they sexually active? most of the time no they wasnt! tell him about the importance of contraception and all the things that could happen if safe sex isnt used. tell him the importance of waiting for love and commitment before sex happens in a relationship and you are much more respected for holding out untill the time is right. explain all the positives that you son is using a condom and taking it away only puts the risk up of STI's and pregnancy if hes already sexually active he will not stop now.
  • Was it a used condom? If not, how do you know he is using them at all? Do you think he is old enough and mature enough to use them correctly each and every time? Some adults have trouble with this, never mind a teenage boy whose hormones are probably going haywire. You were wrong for sweeping the issue under the carpet and for assuming a maturity level that might well not exist. You could still be a grandpa before long, condoms or no condoms. Your son needs a long talk with you and your wife about how he is going to handle all the unintended consequences of sex at such a young age, such as the STDs others have mentioned.
  • There is a small chance that he's not even active... Do you remember thinking it was cool to have a condom, even though you weren't having sex. The other side of this coin (from raising 5 teenagers), is that you want to encourage the protection, and extend your trust to him that you are glad he is thinking ahead. It is your opportunity to suggest to him that you don't think he should be having sex, but that you are glad he is responsible. The minute you or his mother FORBID him to have sex, and take away his condom in a fit of rage - He will rebel and end up skin-dic*ing someone and end up with a baby -- or worse - catching the latest strain of "herpegonesyphelloidalwartaids". The thing to be clear on with teenage boys, is that you HAVE to establish your expectations, but you HAVE to make it their choice to follow them. Ultimatums do nothing but create tension, and causes lads to disagree with your opinion and try the exact thing you are forbidding them to do. Do not forbid premarital sex, or he's gonna do it. Instead, take an opportunity to have more frequent, open and detailed sex talks. Satisfy his curiosity in his mind, and he won't be as inclined to go off "half cocked" (so to speak).
  • No you were not wrong. Your wife sounds like she has trouble letting go that your son is not a little boy anymore. If anything, your son is being sensible and mature about it. Your wife needs to chill out and allow your son some breathing room.
  • I dont think you should punish him. And I dont think you are wrong for thinking condoms are better than no condoms. But I dont think you should promote sexual activity in your 14 yr old son. I think you were wrong for letting it continue. And I think you should sit down with your son and have a sex talk... about not having sex. Just because he has a condom doesnt mean he is sexually active.
  • You are both wrong. You have no idea why that condom is there and shouldn't make assumptions -- either of you -- nor should you ignore the situation. This is a golden opportunity for you both to rationally discuss both sex and your expectations to your son. If you feel 14 is too young to have sex, this is the time to express that. If you don't care that he has sex at this age, it's an opportunity to make sure he is using the condom EVERY time there is contact skin to skin. Many youngsters think that they only need to wear it at the end. It's a great opportunity to discuss stds, teenage pregnancy, the emotional consequences of sex, parental responsibilities, parenting in general and even relationships. Don't let this opportunity pass you by. Parents need to influence children in their choices rather than let their peer group do all the influencing. Take advantage of it and have a long, caring, serious talk with your son.
  • It is one thing to be glad that your 14vyar old son is wise enough to use a condom. But it would have been far wiser if you had taught him from a small boy that sex is for marriage. Unless of course you are ready to accept and pay child support until he is 18 and can pay instead of college. We all know that condoms are not absolute and may not be readily available in the heat of the moment. What about the. Fathers, teach your children to be responsible. Abstinence is by far the best. And makes the honeymoon night spectacular.
  • you were right in a sense to be glad he is using condoms but i think you need to have a talk with him..14 is a little young to be sexually active
  • No you weren't wrong! I agree with some other answers that you shouldn't just ignore it, and have a talk with him. But about 'promoting' sexual behaviour, he is going to do it whether you 'promote' it or not so the best thing to do is just make sure that he is well informed. Punishment is not the answer. You probably don't want him growing up thinking that sex is a bad thing, or condoms are a bad thing. Have a chat with him and let him know that it's not a big deal as long as he protects himself!
  • You were wrong. when your wife needed you to support her, you brushed her off. 14 is too young for anyone to be experimenting with sex. I get the feeling that you avoided this conversation, just to avoid talking to your son. This is not the way a man handles situations in his family. You should have taken the condom and confronted your son. whatever came out of your discussion, could have been benefical for the both of you. Ignoring this incident could have really bad consequences, later. Next, he will come in the door and announce he has just made a girl pregnant. To avoid a situation is to promote it.
  • NO SEX is better then protective sex. you are trying to justify his protective sex by saying "its better than no protectiion" if he were 18,19, or 20 YES, protetive sex is better than none. but he is 14 and a 14 year old is still a CHILD. the proof it is wrong, turn it around, what if it was your daughter haveing protective sex, will you still feel the same? i didn't think so!
  • Well, I dont see any wedding rings!
  • you parents have lost touch with reality. do you seriously think only teenage boys are horny? girls are just as horny and it takes two to have sex. while i do think 14 is a little young to be having sex, at the very least he's safeguarding not only his future but the future of the girl who lets him go there. you guys should talk man to man. then you and your wife should talk it out. good job though.
  • My son is 20 now & we went through that at that age too. We didn't get mad, I don't think it would have done any good. I've been told kids are going to do what they are going to do. I think after he knew we knew and didn't get mad (did give our opinion though!) it opened up an important line of communication. All we can do is be there for them. And I think it's terrific that your son is acting more responsible than some adults out there! Sounds like a smart boy!!
  • You are a looser! You should teach your son to wait until he is married to have sex! It is ment for a husband and wife! Not for a 14 year old!
  • Did you check the use-by date on it? One single unopened condom and no sign of any others means he never bought the packet, and most likely just acquired one through his mates as a status symbol. If you are lucky, its all a bit wink-wink nudge-nudge at that age, they get hold of just one, in anticipation ('just in case') and then it sits in the wallet or the drawer for years. Going mad is like finding a kitchen knife in your wife's kitchen and then saying that means she MUST have stabbed somebody. Might be time for the gentle 'are you, aren't you' chat with your boy to make sure he's ok, clear headed, safe and not under peer pressure or anything like that; do it behind closed doors and then if necessary you can tell his panicked mother that you gave him a talking to and it wont happen again. As long as she never finds another one when she snoops his room, that's it never happening again, right?
  • No you are not wrong.. There is no cookie cutter standard for sex and if you are having sex at 14 or not, protection is #1 on the agenda. Time to have that good ol talk and keep things real.. punishing your 14 yr old son for displaying sexual behavior could be more provoking than a deterant.. Open communication is key..
  • I see this is pretty old, but I'd like to add one more "You did the right thing." Congratulate your son on his intelligence and maturity.
  • NO. It is better for him to acknowledge that he needs to be safe and that he made the right choice than to take the risk of getting a terrible disease, or unwanted pregnancy. Plus it's always a possibility that he got it as a male status symbol to impress his friends or something. I have a 3 year old daughter, and while the thought of our children having sex is scary, it is far better to educate on safe practice rather than to pretend that they aren't thinking about it. "You should wait to have sex because it's an adult decision that requires a lot of thought and maturity. BUT if you do decide that you are ready, here is what you need to know..." It's called "Harm Reduction". Most parents don't want to acknowledge that their kids are thinking about it. But it is our responsibility to educate our children and make sure that they can make good healthy choices.
  • So your son is 14 and you have not talked with him about the responsibilities of having sex. What is wrong with dads today????? I had very close relationships with my four sons and now my grandson who has no dad in the home. We kept communication very open and honest. They knew early on age appropriate information about sex, life and responsibility. Dads, what are you afraid of and what are you waiting for? Do you want your sons and/or daughters to ruin their lives and you have to pay child support until they are 18. Get your heads out of the sand. Abstinence is always best and the wedding night is sweet for those who wait.
  • coming from a womans point of view i dont think you were wrong... you see us women get all upset when we think of our children having sex, we especially dont want our little ones growing up too fast! i think your right you should be thankful that he is having protected sex if he is doing it at all... who knows maybe he just has it for a "just in case" moment, just because he has it doesnt mean he is going to use it, i dont think its grounds to punish him, he is going to do it anyways and punishing him might push him to do it faster to see what the big deal is.
  • I always got them in sexual education classes. And I had this little blue box on my dresser where I kept random stuff like that, I still have them. Which is kinda funny. Teach your son about being responsible perhaps put it in his mind that maybe the girls he could be with arnt as good as they could be in a few years time. Seeing as hes 14 and all.
  • No, you are not wrong. What's wrong is your wife's attitude. She seems to believe, as my ex-wife did, that mere possession of condoms is incitement to have sex.
  • No... at least he has the smarts to use a comdom. But she is a mother and is protective of her child. Hopefully she will realize that he is going to start having sex sometime, and at least he is being smart about it. Hopefully I remember this when my kids are teenagers! LOL
  • Take the condom, have sex with your wife, put the condom back in the drawer. She'll never find another one of his condoms?
  • While I think he is a little young to be needing condoms right now, I think it is great that he is taking the initiative to use them. I can see her point of view, but if you guys jump all over him and not just sit down and talk to him, he will become secretive and hide things even more from you guys. Ya'll have obviously done something right so far!
  • i dont think she should've shouted at him or ignored it. a quiet and sensitive word would've been better i think. at his age, you as parents need to know if he's having sex because of the illegalities. but he's smart for being safe about it.
  • all depends on the morals you raised him with.... however it sounds like you and your wife have different sets of morals...
  • Just because he has a condom doesn't mean he is actually going to use one.. And also, in response to WiseOne - if you are going to have radical opinions, please don't press them on other people. Nowadays, teenagers are MUCH more aware of how to avoid unwanted pregnancies and the like, "use protection!" is preached at them most days at school, protection is easy to come across, and in many cases free, and most teenagers know all about sex and its dangers inside and out before parents even *think* to lecture them about it. - Back to the reply... you can trust your son, and almost any other teenager, to act responsibly whatever his decision is. Maybe back in WiseOne's day when condoms were made of linen, the risks were much higher. But in reality, his decisions are his to make and at his age, using force to make him comply will just encourage defiance.
  • "Was I wrong?" - hmmm is there ever a definitive right or wrong? depends on worldview, personal morality, societal factors. Really, maths, sciences and religious philosophy questions are more relevant to right or wrong amswers. everyting else is up for discussion - and using all of these influences and personal judgement one can generate responsive actions and decisions on the way forward. Take the heat of the situation and try to use reasoning and logic. Failing that, go out, get pissed and hit a copper
  • No, you're totally right and kudos to you for being such a great dad. If you were mind I'd be really pleased! It'll all blow over. Your wife has to realise that your son was being responsible and it doesn't necessarily mean he's having sex yet, he's just being mature.
  • no u was not wrong and niether was your son sex is just a part of growing up and she need to learn to deal with and a least he is protecing himself.
  • Punish him for being responsible? Many children of religious extremists end up having teen pregnancies. An STD is also something to think about. Fourteen is quite young, but you can't have total control at all times. I would suggest you have a talk with him. You are correct!
  • No because then when he has a child shes going to be sorry she didnt give him any.
  • no becasue how are you gunna stop him? youjust gunna say he cant go anywhere? He is smart to use them. (you are both wrong though) he really shouldnt be having sex. but like it said and you said. he is smart to use them
  • only,in that a father should of been talking to a son about this already, the repurcussions and responsibility of sex...it is probably too late now..but wouldn't u want to know if u may end up grandparents at a very early age and ur son a father at 14 or 15..He should know what his responsibility is to a child he brings into this world....How in the world do parents expect their children to know and learn(from infancy to adults) if their parents don't teach and guide??? it starts , AT HOME, all they know and do, Respect, Rules & REsponsibility.....
  • This is hard to answer.... Your wife would be mad at both of us!
  • no but u made a mistake at doing the most impotant thing of all, talk 2 him about it. just cuz he use the condom doesn't mean that u don't have 2 have the talk w/ him, cuz he might not kno everything or have the right facts about things, u should talk 2 him b4 ur wife does! YIKES!
  • No, no and NOOOOO! Tell her to stop trying to control and let him develop into a responsible man. At least she didn't find a pregnancy test like I came across in my younger brothers trash bin a hundred years ago. Stupid woman....would she rather find a scrip for aids medicines?
  • im 17 so let me speak....if he wants to do it he will there is nothing you could do just be thankful he knows to use a condom. my dad 1 day sat me down it was uncomorable for us both but im glad he did it and talked to me about it and i told him i was going to do it so he bought me some condoms lol point is now days have them raise them teach them and let them learn what the world is about
  • not by your morals, yes by hers. next life marry someone with the same morals as you.
  • No, you have a male point of view and she has a female one. They are different. She us waiting for you to say 'I think I will have a discussion about sex with son as he may well be having it and we must ensure he knows everything that sex entails including how to use protection, the fact he is underage and so on and on and on'. This needs to be your job to do, not hers because you are male and so is he. I'd do it before he gets somebody pregnant. Do the above and Wife will love you again.
  • You was wrong at 14 he shouldnt be having sex yes it is good that he did use a condom but i take wife/mothers side on this one being a mom of 4 i totally understand her
  • She is wrong and ignorant. At least he knows what a condom is. Did you all even talk to him about it? I say put it back. If she wants the financial burden of caring for a grandchild when your kid is 14, tell her to establish some sort of savings account just in case, and then she can take the condom.
  • Yes. Your son is a child and sex is not something children should be doing. It's not a matter of him being careful. Children are not emotionally prepared as well as they are not capable of handling adult consequences of adult behavior. Mom is right.
  • No. If your son is having sex, good luck trying to stop him. Even if you ban him, he'll find a way, trust me, I know. I think you should teach him about safe sex. Give him resources and information. Let him know he can talk to you if he needs anything. If you go balistic on him, he'll never tell you anything and that's when you run in to trouble. Let him trust you. Then again, it also just could have been a free sample from school. That happened to me :P
  • You did the right thing by not punishing him. Not many teenage boys (or adult men, for that matter) are mature enough to use condoms. But you should still take him aside and talk to him to make sure that he knows how to use them correctly.
  • No, you did a good job my friend.
  • Not wrong, just not complete. You should approach him, discuss all those things you don't want to discuss. Ignoring it and just putting it back is hoping for the best - keep the communication lines open.
  • No you're not Your son is going to have sex one way or another at least he's trying to be safe
  • npoe u werent wrong , ur son did the right thing and so0 u did to0 :)
  • like you, i'd be glad that he has the maturity to use a condom. like your wife, i'd be feeling energy that i'd want to direct toward him. maybe not anger and punishment. maybe sitting down in a relaxed, respectful manner and discussing the b&b, std/hiv/aids, respect, relationships ... i had the same condom in my wallet for 5 years. i was so optimistic!
  • No. I completely agree with you. That is showing some responsibility. Plus he didn't necessarily have sex, he just had a condom what is there to really be mad about. I think it is actually pretty responsible of him to have one. Heck I am 23 and I know some many guys my age who doesn't use them, and its kind of scary. Hats off to your son.
  • I would say you did the right thing except I would sit down with him and have a very open conversation. Let him know that you both think he is too young to have sex and go over again the dangers such as pregnancy and STDs. Be sure to let him know that you are proud he has the sense to use a condom too if he does choose o have sex. You never know though, he may just be curious about condoms and using them instead of a tissue for other activities. :)
  • Umm what was your wife doing poking around in his room? I am sure this was a hidden thing? By punishing him for having a condom in his room, that also says to your teen she was poking around in his room. Neither one of you know if he is having sex. The condom could be something that was given to him by a friend or he could of purchased it in a men's room, just being curious. You both have jumped the gun here by assuming he is having sex. Wife has broken trust issues if she was poking around. You were in the right by not making an issue out of it but wrong in assuming he is having sex. Either way it is obvious you need to have a chat with your son and soon and I wouldn't be bringing up the condom, but I would be telling him the importance of one if he should ever decide to have sex and how important it is to wait and all the things that can happen if he doesn't. I would hope that you and your wife use better judgement than punishment and snooping around. You want your son to be able to come to you about these things and obviously he doesn't feel he can, because you don't know if he is having sex or is just curious. Being curious at this age is natural, and having sex at this age is not unheard of, but it is up to you to find out what is going on. Punishing him is only closing doors, and punishing him because he has a condom is absurd!! Be open and honest and TRUSTWORTHY!! Give the same privacy you expect from your teen. It goes a long way when it comes to respect. Be educated on what your son is doing and don't ever assume what is going on in his life, KNOW what is going on. It takes mature parents to raise mature kids.
  • Your wife needs a reality check quickly......14 year olds have sex and they need to be safe. would she rather he get a dose of something that meds cant fix. If you two raised your kid correctly he will be careful and safe.
  • Personally, I think you were wrong. At 14, he needs to understand what the consequences of being sexually active are. I don't think you had to punish him but I do think you need to talk with him.
  • No, you are absolutely right. If your son is going to have sex, he should be safe about it. Don't confuse him by getting mad with him for using protection. However, you might want to have a little father-son talk with him and casually mention you think he might be "doing it" and explain to him the risks of STD's. Those can be very nasty and ALL teens should know about it. Otherwise, let the boy be.
  • You and your son are wise. Your wife must want your son to knock a girl up and have to quit high school and get a job at Micky D's. Stupid woman! Just tell your son to hide his rubbers better next time.
  • I agree with kybear. But nothing to do with your wife's reaction. You should realise that on the other side of the story could be a 14 year old girl (or someone even younger) who could fall pregnant -- and her and her family's lives could be far more negatively impacted than your's or your son's. Parents of boys don't often realise this. Parents of young children need to know that the two youngsters are not having sex in isolation. There are two families who will be involved if anything goes wrong. Parents need to discuss the possible consquences of these activities with their children, especially at this young age.
  • No. Firstly, wife is wrong to be snooping in son's bedroom. Pretty sure a 14yo isn't leaving condoms out where they would easily be seen. If it was an unused condom (I'm assuming) just because he has one doesn't mean he is having sex. And if he is having sex and using protection, he is being smarter than many adults and you should be proud of him.
  • She's just shocked, that's all..

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