it depends on who your with, as well as your personal motivation. If you were grinding just for fun and the excitement of it, not having the intention of cheating, then no, I would not. perhaps your boyfriend expects you to pay atention to him more than other guys (given that he is, your boyfriend). You two need to discuss your morals on the situation, he may want to lighten up and considering his view may be helpfull for you as well.

Whats griding?

Obviously you are a very out going girl who likes to have fun with a little harmless flirting. (even if you were not coming on to the other guy.) But your boyfriend is obviously jealous and or insecure. Unfortunately because of this, you can not expect him to change his views just because you explain yourself to him. But you may have to stop for a while to appease him. Hopefully he will learn to trust your feelings for him and possibly even enjoy your playful spirit. Good luck!

Cmon now! You knew what you were doing, would you want you BF grinding with another girl.

I don't think its cheating, like you say its just dancing- however, I DO think its very insensitive to do it with another guy in front of your boyfriend. Think about his perspective- he probably felt embarrassed and inadequate because you were having fun with another guy whilst he was present. Think about his feelings before you act a bit more perhaps?

Ask yourself this question, "If my boyfriend was grinding with another girl, how would I feel?"

I was just out with my boyfriend and found him grinding on another girl and I have to say I have never felt worse. I wouldn't say it's cheating, but it definately hurts.

No dancing is nothing. But if you are putting your hands ALL over, and making it look super sexy, and especially if he is there, that might be crossing the line a little. But if he's jealous of you dancing with other guys- you might wanna watch out. Guys like that can go from 0 60 in about 2.5 seconds flat. And that is bad. Those are the guys that end up on Dr. Phil. Did you see the guy who stalked his wife? It started out as jealousy, but it got to the point where he tapped her phone, he had video cameras in the house, he put tracking devices on her car, he was violent, he would literally stalk her, he would call her upwards of about 50 times a day, he would call her family and friends and threaten them- This is worst case scenario, but they always start out as just a little over-jealous- and end up like that guy.

YES!! It's cheating and it's wrong. If you really are together then you shouldn't be doing that with other people. Yeah, I know that people can go overboard with anything but I say it's ok to be jelouse to a degree, especially if your married.

He only needs to adjust to you keeping in touch with your inner whore.

hmm my girlfriend is going to a club today and told me that she would grind and stuff, i told her how i felt and i thought it was mean and disrespecful having some guys penis rubbed against her back so she said she wouldnt do it. That answers it, it really is wrong expecially from some other guy he doesnt know.

be honest with yourself, if he was dancing exactly like that with another girl would you be upset? when you find the honest answer to that you'll have the answer to your question.

it may not be cheating, although in my opinion..it's pretty darn close, but rubbing yourself all over another guy is cetainly insensitive and inconsiderate of his feelings. makes me wonder how you would feel if he was "grinding" with a drop dead gorgeous gal.

It apparently did mean something to you, and maybe in the back of your mind you were thinking after he threw you out of his truck things were over and maybe you wanted to get a little revenge sex, How do you know he didn't go out get drunk realize what an ass he made of himself. Only to find the girl he was about to apologize to "grinding" with another guy. If I had been him I would not have said a word I would have just walked off. Sorry but I have been there...

Uh, YEAH. It's entirely disrespectful to him.

So, if you went to a club and on the dance floor was BF grinding with a 6ft stunner you would think, 'aw, he's just having fun'. Methinks not. BTW: if you do it in front of your BF, it will cause a fight and if he's with his mates, they will all join in and before you know it, you'll be responsible for the injuries sustained by those involved.

He obviously felt alot for the dude to grind on him, but well done you for not letting it bother you !

My girlfriend just did this to me a few days ago as a matter of fact..this is why I'm posting here because I google'd that exact question. I feel really pissed that my girlfriend flirts with other guys and I think that If a dude is rubbing his dick all over a girls ass and shit its close enough to cheating and couldnt even be considered a dance. The only reason why people call it a dance is in situations like this so they can say "we were only dancing???" as far as I'm conserned its bullshit and a guys girlfriend should never fuck around like that at all..and if it is honestly this qustionable then dont do it in the first place and you wont have anything to worry about. bitches stank-

I feel that it is a form of cheating. Even though you didn't go "all the way" persay, you are basically asking to! I mean, if he didn't have his pants on and your whatever, you would basically be doing it. Plus you do it so that the other guy gets aroused and basically interested. I would be upset if I found my guy doing that with someone else. If you were single, you do what you want to do. But when you are in a relationship, you can't think of just yourself. You have to respect what your significant other would feel when doing situations. Also, the arguement "I was doing that before we were even together", doesn't cut it in this situation. If he was doing the same thing, and it bothered you, you would say that you don't like it and he should stop. I really think that if you really love your boyfriend, and you want to be with him, you should stop. Plus girls look more and more like tramps these days. Especially the dancing, geez.

I just did some grinding last night with multiple guys- um, i feel bad about it because i have a boyfriend. its hard cuz we're doing long distance and yes, i miss the sex. grinding helped a little but i believe that it is probably cheating. im not doing it ever again. the question is if i should tell the boyfriend about it. would it be for selfish motives since it would upset him and assuage my guilt, or is it the right thing to do? i HATE disappointing my boyfriend. crap. i should be less thoughtless. for the guys out there- would you want to know?

Not cheating. But it would definitely break my heart.

I just dealt with that this weekend with my girlfriend. We were out with friends. The last bar we went to we were all dancing, but at first it was all cool. I don't mind it if she dances with other guys, so long as it is respectful. At first she was being respectful, but at some point she starts grinding with a friend of mine. Right in front of me. I played it cool in the bar, but on our way home I let her know exactly what I thought. She told me not to be like that. I said, I am not jealous, I am upset that my girlfriend is rubbing her a$$ all over another guy's crotch. And told her that of the three girls, she was the only one doing it. The other two, both with a boyfriend/husband, were totally respectful. I am slowly getting over it, but what bothers me more than anything is that she would even consider this appropriate behavior in the first place. Had I not said anything, it never would have been an issue for her and she would have likely done it again in the future because she would just think she is having fun. Maybe she was just having fun, but the idea of my friend, or some other guy, possibly having an erection while my girlfriend is rubbing her a$$ on him doesn't put a smile on my face. And I'm sorry ladies, odds are that if you're rubbing your butt on a guy's crotch, he is going to get excited. That's how the mating process works. Call it grinding, dry humping, whatever, I don't think it is appropriate to do that with someone other than your bf/gf when you are in a relationship.

My girlfriend went out to a club, and I wasn't there and she was so ignorant to the fact that grinding was okay, that she actually told me everyhting that happened. I mean it lead to a guy trying to grab her boobs, she then backed off, but I mean her rubbing her a$$ all over the guys crotches makes me so damn pissed. I'm glad she told me everything, but I still got mad... I dont even think I can trust her for that. I know she wouldnt go further then grinding still drives me NUTS!!!! She probably whon't mention it next time either.

I think cheating in a slight sense means to turn someone on, which grinding up against a guy usually does. Grinding pretty much is having sex with clothes on. I can see how your boyfriend would be disappointed in you, because that was really disrespectful toward him.

Of course it will upset him. If it were the other way around wouldn't it upset you?

What's fun about seeing some guy dry hump your girl on the dance floor?

Not exactly cheating,but it does look trashy and desperate for attention.

If a girl does it in front of you, does it ruin your chances with her? Does it mean she doesnt want you? Because something similar happened to me this weekend as well. I invited this girl to the club, whom I am currently dating, but nothing serious. Before the club we went out to eat and like usual she would sit next to me and put her attention on me while also being part of the group. From what I understand is that this girl loves to dance everything, including latin music and hip-hop, techno, basically anything you can dance to. And shes a really good dancer. Me, on the other hand, I love music, but cant dance as well as she does. So, to get to the point she knows I cant dance now and during our stay in the club she would dance with my friends, and I would dance with her maybe every 5th song because I would also dance with the girls from our group. But nothing to provocative. At one point I went out to finish my drink and when I came back inside she was dancing completely sexy with some other guy. I'm sorry to the girls who think dancing is just dancing, but that just completely broke my heart, I played it cool for the rest of the night, danced with her a little more, but even to this moment I am still thinking about it and the thought makes me want to just quit going for her. I understand that if I make her my girlfriend then she wont dance with other guys like that, but truth is I cant dance like that other guy, so I wouldnt wanna bore her whenever we go out dancing. And i cant just completely cut out dancing from the scene because its something I do at least 2-3 times a month, its like tradition with my friends. I understand dancing is a passion to this girl, as long as she dances shes happy, but does it matter who she dances with if shes with me? So to all girls who think they are doing it for fun, it really gets to guys, it sends extreme mixed signals. Like to me, I have no idea if by this girl dancing with another guy, in that manner, was a message to me telling me to move on, or just having fun. Because it's not fun to me :/. Should I make a move and keep on asking her out, whilst ignoring that her dancing bothers me, because I know that if I say something we're done with completely, because we are not serious enough to say "shes mine". Wait till she makes a move? Or just quit trying and move on to the next girl?

If you hang around barber shop long enough you will get a haircut.

If it upset him and he felt it was, yes it was. And personally, if I saw that happen I would think it goes beyond flirting which itself can hurt the other person. Grinding is an intimate way of being with a person and shouldn't be done with those outside a relationship if you have an S/O

so i guess you wouldn't mind your boyfriend going to a strip club to get his groin grinded on? different scenario, but same heart-breaking emotions on both parties. your boyfriend wants you to himself, why would he want some guy to have the pleasure of you GRINDING on him?? same for you, do you care at all if he expresses his sexual side to a random girl in such a way instead of you? if it means nothing to you, then you should really consider what you expect out of your relationship with him. doesn't sound like you're very committed to your boyfriend if you disregard his feelings and disrespect him like that.

grinding is JUST dancing?... grinding??? you must be kidding...

lol, not cheating but not a good idea. that invokes unnecessary jealously

I think it's wrong. The only guy you should want to thrust your butt against should be the guy you're dating or married to. If that's your idea of fun, you're not quite ready for a relationship yet. Honestly, would you be okay with your guy grinding his crotch against another girls ass? You have to think about the whole picture. It may not seem like much to you when you do it, but think about how he sees it. The guy you was grinding with was (quite possibly and most likely) getting an erection with his woman. In his mind, the only thing keeping you two from having sex right then and there was the clothes in the way.

I wouldn't like to be your boyfriend. It would suck

Meh, I don't know, it might bother me. Probably not though. I know who she's coming home with. It also depends on the degree of it. If it's clearly just dancing, then yeah, it's cool. But if you were pretty much just grinding your verticle smile in to him over and over again, then yeah that's a little disrespectful. Actually, if he does have a problem with it and you knew that he had a problem with it, then it was extreamly disrespectful. I used to date a girl that did a lot of swing dancing and she would dance with other guys and it never really bothered me. But I think she knew what was acceptable and what wasn't. Slow swing dancing can get pretty erotic and I never saw her do that with another guy. But we never really talked about it. She just kind of knew. Really, you have to ask yourself though. Was it really necassary to grind on another guy to have a good time? Really, couldn't you have done without it and been perfectly fine?

Would you want him grinding some girl? Would you see that as cheating and "un-fun" behavior? Would your feelings be hurt? Would you feel disrespected? That is all the comparison you need. Ms. HeartBeat Providng 20/20 Vision to Those Who Can't See http://www.askheartbeat.com

He's mad because you disrespected him. If you wanted to grind, you should have grinded your own man. How would you feel if you were to watch another one lap dance your boyfriend?

Short and simple... just turn things around and put yourself in his place, how would that make you feel? I wouldnt consider it cheating but its definently not healthy for a relationship.

I mean are you rubbing your twat against his leg and are are you rubbing your ass on his junk? It isn't necessarily cheating, but it kind of makes you a slut if you are doing it to guys while you have a boyfriend.

If you think about two people kissing as "first base" the grinding I think would have to be past that. Kissing is cheating so yes of course grinding is cheating. Just because your clothes are on, doesn't take the sexuality away from it.

I just went to the club with my girlfriend for her birthday party . She told me ahead of time that she was going to dance on other guys especially since I don't really dance myself. She said she wouldn't care if I danced with other girls and I thought I would be cool with it, but when I seen how she was grinding on the guys, and one time I seen her bend over infront of the guy, it got to me and we still argue about till this day. She says she was just having fun, but it wasn't fun seeing her grind on other guys even if she said I could with other girls. Also I could see how some guys didn't care about dancing they just wanted girls to grind on them.

Do you think putting yourself out there like that is a good idea? I'll tell you what my father told my sisters.You act like a tramp you get treated like a tramp.Maybe not now but somewhere down the road you'll get some idiot all excited"grinding" on him.Then what?

we were at a club this last weekend dancing, playing pool and just having fun with a group of people. my wife starts dancing with this "hot" guy which turns into a mild grinding and as i watched it didn't bother me. she would look at me for my approval. when we went home we had some of the best sex ever.

Talking from experience... my ex did that, and I was really pissed that the girl I loved was acting like a slut. You must see eye to eye on these things. Otherwise it just whont work out.

if it means nothing to you, and means a lot to your boyfriend, dont do it again if he means a lot to you. i would apologize and chalk this up to a learning experience. since his happiness directly affects yours, i would recommend that you respect boundaries in the future. this is obviously one of them. i would disregard the trash talk from the users who called this kind of behavior bad. with some types of relationships and people this type of dancing is just fine. its a way to cut loose and express your sexuality. latin dancing for example, can be incredibly sexy, expressive, fun, and very sensual, with lots of body contact. but thats part of the beauty. as for hip hop bump and grind, theres also an element of sensuality that can be quite lovely to watch and fun to participate in. but i digress...its best to establish these things with your partner before you do them.

Its not cheating but i personally wouldnt do that to my bf i would feel as if im violating and disrespectin him because thats how i felt when he done it to me. He danced with three diff girls on three seperate occasions, i reacted really bad to the first one and he promised he would never do it again..but da prick did and the grls he has dance with he knows i dont like them!! but he claims that they danced on him and he was standin as still as a statue (yh ryt). But wen i go out im gna dance wid other guys jus so in my mind i kno that i got him bck.

its showing sexual attraction.

do you have any video of this? I am having difficulty making a rulin gon this...

well it really doesn't matter what we think, it only matters what your BF thinks and it seems that he didn't like it so you need to reflect on it and think of how you would feel if it were him dancing with another woman the same way you were dancing with another man.

I was having fun too, dancing and grinding and my gf didn't seem to mind that it was me and the wall in the back next to the bathroom.................

what i say is that my man would be upset too i just have to learn to not grind with guys, grind with girls lol

the body that you use with him is the body your using to rub up on some other guy who is probably having crazy thoughts going through his mind as this "grinding" is going on..not completely cheating but some form of it..and i personally find that disgusting..if my fiance were to see me smearing myself on someone else he would flip

I think you're full of bull. If it meant nothing to you, you shouldn't have done it. "Just having fun" is worth risking your boyfriend second guessing whether he should trust you? Yeah,I don't blame him. It sounds to me like you only care about pleasing yourself. I went to a party where there was grinding, too. You know what? I didn't do anything because, first of all, I have a boyfriend. Second of all, do I really need the reputation of a whore for the sake of 'having fun'? I don't like using people. Therefore, I try not to. I hung out with the host of the party instead. The host that most of the people there were ignoring in the name of HAVING FUN. Oh, that party reminded me of how stupid parties are...

I wonder how you would feel if the shoe was on the other foot? If your bf was on a dance floor grinding some bimbo (that's what you would call her)...and all your friends were watching? How would you feel really? Grow up, my dear.....it is totally unacceptable and you need to apologise and acknowledge how that bothered him and that his feelings are worth your respect. Otherwise, let him go.

At the end of the night I get to take my s/o home and do a lot more to her. So no its not cheating, but a bit of fun for all. I don't mind if she does it and she's never complained about me doing it either. You have to put jealousy in context and realise that a little bit of it can be a positive. Doesn't it remind you of how much you love your s/o and therefore shouldn't a little bit of it strengthen the relationship?

So, of course, you come here looking for reassurance that you're right and he's wrong. Well, you ain't right and he is. Try to see it this way, what would you think if he was the one grinding with another girl whilst telling you that 'it didn't mean anything'? Would that be good enough for you? Are words more important than the act to you?

Very simple answer: Both of you are obviously very incompatible. By doing this she has raised the bar in the relationship and if this is not what you condone and it sounds as if you do not then perhaps you should seek a relationship elsewhere. She is grinding her ass on other guys groin. What part of that is difficult to comprehend? A lap dance is dancing for some, would she allow that? Move on and find someone with a more compatible meaning of a relationship as this one will not work out. She needs to find a man that will allow her to be promiscuous with other men while at the same time to feel secure knowing she has a man to fall back to.

cheating? no... utterly disrespectful? absolutly. I would not date someone who thought grinding is dancing, much less acceptable outside our relationship

I just had my wife do this to me this weekend. We were out with a bunch of friends, and normally I'll dance for awhile and then go talk to the other bf's/husbands while the girls all dance together. Something my wife's sister did pissed her off, so all the sudden she's getting grinded by some dude who has his hands in her front pockets. I came over, pushed the dude out of the way, and assumed the same position and started giving her hell. She claims it meant nothing and it's no big deal. She was hammered, but honestly, I feel like I've been cheated on... She was wearing her ring, but since when do guys care about that? Of course, I gave her the business on the ride home after making a scene at the bar (I was DD that night). The next night I nailed the hell out of her, every position you can imagine, but I still don't feel better. I feel like she's not getting something from me that she felt she had to from this random bar dude. I wish it had never happened. I guess I'm having such a hard time with this because she's never led me to believe that she'd even LOOK at another guy before. We have a great marriage and a great relationship, and until now I figured I was the only one... to see some dude rubbing his dick all over her ass made me want to vomit... it's unbelievable. And I know he was enjoying it because when I do the same dancing with her, I can feel her ass on my dick and I enjoy it. Ugh, women. WTF!?

Not at all! But then again I prefer open relationships... You really should talk to your boyfriend. Tell him you find his jealousy attractive, he'll feel better I'm sure

Did you know or think your bf would be pissed? Or did you think he would assume it's all just harmless dancing? How would you feel if you walked in on him "harmlessly" grinding with another girl? Would you consider it cheating? I think if you are honest with those questions, you'll have your answer.

If it 'meant nothing' to you, why did you do it?

Yes it is because your boyfriends feelings matter.

How would you like him feeling up a woman? And he said it did not mean anything to me. Can not say it is cheating but, is WRONG.

i think the thing that bothered your boyfriend is the fact that you enjoyed dancing that way with someone other than him. how did you feel when you were dancing with him? flirty? happy at the change of pace? or guilty? explain this to him. he needs to know how you feel.

If it meant nothing to you then why do it. Get rid of your slutty attitude and dance like someone over the age of 14. If you love your boyfriend grind with him. If you don't move on and find the one it does me something to you with.

Whats funny is that when theres a question about a guy getting a lap dance from a hooker, all i here is how its ok and to lighten up. but when a girl asks about grinding with a guy, its shame on her. the sexism on this site really sickens me.

how would you feel if you saw your bf grinding with another girl??? personally i'd be pretty damn upset and really pissed off and would be thinking that i'm not all that interested in the other person anymore. but everyone is different.

If it meant alot to ur bf, i think u shouldnt do it again dont u think?

More slutty than cheating.