ANSWERS: 34
  • It's not that simple, but it can happen. Talk to your father about calling Child Protective Services. They're in the phone book and they will probably help you.
  • When your 16 years old you can do anything you want, without your parents approval.
  • Depending on the state laws where you live, the courts will most likely get involved. If they have joint legal and physical custody of you, they will probably force you to obey that order. However, if your dad supports your move and will help you, you can request a hearing and tell the judge about the verbal, emotional, and physical abuse...if you have proof of this abuse any judge in his right mind would grant full custody to your dad.
  • Have your dad apply for full custody. I hear of children being allowed to live with whichever parent they want to at 14! Maybe if he offers to let her have whatever benefits she enjoys now with the joint custody (claiming you on her taxes, or whatever the benefits might be) she will go along with it without going to court. Good luck, Honey.
  • i think that at the age of 16 it maybe younger you can go before the judge and say you would rather live w/your father. but you also need to tell an adult you trust about they way your mother is treating you. however w/ the just moving in and staying w/your dad your father might get in trouble even if he hasnt done anything. child (though at 16 your not really a child) custody cases can be very..well lack of better words a pain in the but for both parents and children.
  • Call the police and report her. Never ever go back there under any circumstances. You are old enough to have yourself emancipated.
  • I live in Missouri can you give me anymore info?
  • You can easily call child protective services if you feel your mom is treating you badly. Since they both have custody of you, I don't think there's any law of why you can't stay at your dads. If it's just your mom saying you can't stay over at your dads, then just ignore her. It's up to you to take a stand in this situation. And it your dad is any better then your mom, then he will support you in this.
  • I don't recommend being emancipated - that would be too hard on you. Next time you are with your dad, talk to him about what's going on. Tell him you need to get out of there and you want to live with him. Both of you should report the incident with the authorities (police, child protective services) and he should contact his lawyer. Even if your dad doesn't want to do any of that (which I don't know why he wouldn't!) you need to call the police (they can call child protective services). Explain everything and tell them you don't feel safe there. It'll work out; just don't be scared to get help!
  • someone already called (dfs)family services and talked to my mom but they didnt even talk to me. basically my mom lied to them. they wont come to a persons house unless there are bruises or marks from her. even though there aren't any bruises she still hurts me.
  • thanks i hope this will help.
  • Ask your dad to file for legal custody!
  • Talk to your teacher at school about it. You could also speak to your school principle if you prefer.
  • I'm so sorry you're going through this, hon. I have an abusive mother myself. ****Be warned: long story. If you don't want to read it, skip to the bottom ^_^*********** The first time I reported her and my stepfather I was 13 - for neglect, and drug use (since I KNEW they would act on the latter... my father was NYPD... he made SURE I knew they would ALWAYS act on physical evidence). They both spent a night in jail, and we went home, where I got a good beating for my efforts. Of course, my life became HELL after that. Child protective services took no interest in us whatsoever, since there were no "battle wounds" or anything... Beatings were rare in my house, but they did occur. Even so - NOTHING was more painful than the emotional abuse. It's amazing how two people can make you feel so... worthless. From then on I was TERRIFIED to act against them. I did no extracurriculars in high school save Drama club (They seemed to love telling me how horrible the performances were), had no friends, attended no dances... I even gave up going to college because of their "suggestions" that nothing I could do would make life better for me. I was no better than them, and THEY didn't go to college. I was 20 when I got my first boyfriend. Still living at home, and somehow not realizing I was the only one in the family with a full-time job and I was depended upon for all housework, meals, grocery shopping... I decided to move out. Of course, they told me I was "abandoning the family"... and "Don't I care about my brother and sister anymore..." and "there's no way you'll be able to make it on your own out there". Exactly seven days after moving into my own apartment, my parents (mom and stepfather) needed to "borrow" $100 off of me. They had to pay it back in $5 and $10 increments. I'm not kidding. I am 22 now... and STILL trying to recover from the life I had to lead with them. Even after I married the abuse didn't stop. They would call specifically to tell me how awful my house is (it's bigger than theirs! and MUCH nicer!) and to tell me what I "need" to do, and what family events I "have to" attend. The last time my mother beat me was this past October. I didn't buy her a candy bar when I took my little sister out shopping for her birthday. Finally, I had evidence. She beat me REALLY good, bruises and bleeding scratches and everything. It's amazing how quickly they'll pick up someone for assault. There is now a court-ordered injunction between my mother and myself. She is not allowed within eyesight of me, and no contact whatsoever. ***************** To make a VERY long story very short (I know... WAY too late) You HAVE to have physical evidence of abuse before Child Protective services or the State will get involved, and involve YOU in the process. If you have a cell 'phone, next time she beats you enough to leave a mark, call the cops from your bedroom after slamming the door. DON'T WARN HER. That oughta be a nice surprise. Make sure your dad knows you're planning on doing this. And as soon as you call the cops, call your dad to come over and be there as your backup. I know the last thing you want to do is put your mom in jail... but seriously, it's overnight and like, $50 bail. If she didn't want to pay the piper, she shouldn't be so damned abusive. God, I only wish I had my daddy to run to when things got rough. USE HIM. And make sure your mom is punished for her actions.
  • Yeah, you should really have your Dad file for legal custody. Let ALL the family members you can depend on know what's going on so you'll have more support if this has to go to court. You're old enough that the judge will probably just ask you who you'd prefer to live with & why. And DON'T provoke your mom into hittting you just so you'll have something to show the cops. There's definitely safer ways of going about this. If your Dad won't or can't get custody of you, file for Emancipation from your mom, then you're free to live with whoever you want and your Dad won't have to fight your mom in court.
  • I'm so sorry for you and I wish you the best! I think you should talk to your dad and the local authorities or anyone you trust and has good judgement. No one deserves to be abused.
  • At 16, you can apply to the court and go and live with your dad. Do so, asap. In fact, just go to your dad's and call the police on your mum from there. She has no right to do this to you.
  • At your age, you get a say on where you want to spend your time. Please tell your dad what you want to do so that he can take the legal steps necessary. You can also confide with a school counsellor who are required by law to act upon any information of abuse against a minor. This will back up your dad's claim. I hope you get to live with your dad and I wish you all the best!!
  • Your mom can file a contempt on your dad, and he could be forced to return you. You might be better off if you dad just goes to court and files for FULL physical custody! But it will take a little longer. Your dad could also call social services and report that you are being abused. That might get him physical custody of you quicker. Good Luck! I hope everything turns out the way you want!!
  • Tell your father immediantly and stay with him until she requests you go back to her. Dont let her know you told anyone and tell your father to file for custody of you and any siblings you may have. Read this, it may help. http://www.womansdivorce.com/sole-custody.html#PHYSICALABUSE just flip that around ^ it works both ways hopefully that helps.
  • Dear, I do not know if you are Canadian or not, but one thing for sure, in Canada, at the age of 16 yrs old, you can pick up and go anywhere you want to go and nobody can stop you. Run and keep on running. Good luck.
  • First things first, have you told your father? He should automatically be able to get something done. You are old enough where the courts should let you make your own decision. That's the way it is in Louisiana.
  • Go to your dad's!!!!! Tell him to protect you and refuse to go back!!!! If for some reason you have to go back to your moms --- bring a tape recorder, take pictures and document(write down)events daily. And start talking to people about it. Complain to anyone who will listen. Make a list of people who might help---family or strangers.You also need to be clever. If for some reason you can't leave because it's a power struggle--- request to stay with other friends and family as much as possible and keep asking for help. Stay in school and stay strong! Soon you will be old enough to support yourself. You can do it!
  • You are 16. In most countries at 16 you can please yourself who you live with. Go to your local court house and ask at the info desk how you find out what the law says where you live. Or call a Legal Clinic in your yellow pages. Or Google online for your state/province/country what the family laws state. If your parents have joint custody and your father wants you to stay with him, you can.
  • Since she abuses you, especially physically, just call the police.
  • You should consider one or more of the following options. You should try #1, plus #2 or #3 plus #4 and #5 1 You could ask your mom if you could move in with you father. 2 You can ask your father to hire a legal Attorney file for legal custody for you. 3 You can get a legal Attorney for your self to file for legal custody for you. You have a good change of wining this. 4 You should talk to a school counselor, teacher, and ask for advise. 5 You or and your father can notify to police or social services or ask your father to do so. They may not care but talk to them any way. 6 If they are not interested have a friend anonymous call 911 from a pay phone and tell them 911 that you are being abuses. 7 When you are abused by your mom or some one ells just call 911. The police have to come no matter watt. If necessary do multiple times. 8 Tel your mother that if she does not let you move in with your father you will never want to see here again when you are 18, or threaten to call the police and have her thrown in jail.
  • If your mother has custody go to the court and ask them to intervene. They will probably send you to the department of human services Division of children's services. You might want to go there first and file a complaint then and only then will you not have to fight this hard of a battle yourself.At least call them and they will probably tell your mother that if she doesn't let you move in with your father they will press charges and take her to court. You need a guardian ad lietem who will work for you:) all is not lost my dear! Your mother will not only lose custody she will have to pay child support too. Good Luck~ Sister Rock
  • I would think by that age, if you were to go to any authority figure they would take such claims quite seriously. I highly suggest telling someone what is going on; call the cops next time you are physically abused, or if you are too scared to do so - tell your friends, a friend's parents, neighbors, a counselor at school...They can all do something to help you!
  • I lived with an abusive, controlling mother and one day I couldnt take it anymore and left at age 16. It was very hard for me but it was better. I stayed with my sister for a bit while I got on my feet. I dropped out of school, got a job at starbucks, and saved for a car. At 18 I got my GED and started community college, and now Im about to transfer to whatever university I want.Ive had to sacrifice a lot, had to mature, grow, and be responsible. It was very hard to be on my own, but its not impossible to make it. Now that Im 21, I dont regret at all what I did. I experienced and learned to appreciate life and worked hard which has taught me a lot. Im not telling you to do the same as me, but I am telling you to not keep living this horrible life. You can go live with your dad, regardless if your mom agrees or not because he also has custody so she cant do anything really. Do something about it ASAP!
  • First of all you do not want to put your dad in contempt however at the age of 16 you certainly have a right to decide whom you wish to live with. Tell your dad you want to talk to a judge, you are of age. I also think you can refuse to leave your dad's place and when your mom takes your dad to court you can go wiht him and say your peace. You can also file at your local police department. Talk to your dad!
  • Talk to your Dad, I am sure he will intercede. IF for some reason he doesn't go to child protective services.
  • Thank you for all the wonderful advice you all gave me. I am now 17 and i am living at my dad's because one day i just walked out after she had hit me. my dad and i got a lawyer and we are fighting it together. it has taken forever though with the courts. things have been horrible but at least im not at my moms. i will be 18 in less than a year so by the time the court stuff is all figured out i will be 18 and free. i just wish i was on my own and no one could control me anymore.
  • Go to dad's and tell him everything, the longer you leave it the worse it will be. Hunny, I'm an abuse survivor too, Not physically like supermom, but mentally, sexually and emotionally, like supermom. So I became a counsellor and now I listen and try to help people, I would love to be able to help you, or just to chat, my e-mail is gigglebumuk@hotmail.com feel free to e-mail me, but only if it is safe for you to do so. Don't be afraid to speak out!
  • Your dad could be charged with custodial interference. Give this to him. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ I’ve been a Father’s Rights Advocate for 20 years. Many think the courts are rigged against dads, but in reality, it is more about attorneys unwilling or lacking the knowledge to truly fight for the father's rights. This is why it is important to learn how to interview and hire the right attorney. It is also important to do as much as possible on your own and not pay the attorney to do it. Part of the problem with getting your rights knowing what to do to prove your case, and how to remind the judge of their responsibilities. Let me start with the judge. Always take people with you to court who are not there to testify. Make sure they are sitting where the judge can see them, each equipped with a tablet and pen to take notes. It’s best to use a Court Watch Form designed for this purpose. I have one in the manual at Dads House. If the judge is not doing his job, using the info from this form, you can, appeal, and/or get the judge sanctioned and removed from the case. You file a complaint with the State Supreme Court at your state capital. Start keeping a daily journal of all your activities. The most common way to prevent a father from getting his rights through the courts is a false allegation, usually sexual. Over 60% of divorcing father are accused of child sexual abuse, of which only 4% are found to have any relevance, but there are no penalties for doing so. A daily journal is your number one piece of evidence in court and you can even refer to it while on the stand. Gather evidence. Check the site below to see if it is illegal to record conversations without the other person knowing. If your state does not have a law either way, than it defaults to the federal ruling which says one person in a conversation must know they are being recorded. You’re that one person. In Missouri it is specifically legal, in Kansas there is no mention either way. If you live in two different states, and one has a law against it, than it applies when the call originates from within that state, http://www.rcfp.org/taping/ Now, you can't just record, you also have to transcribe it into the daily journal. If you want to learn how to do all this go to Dads House in Yahoo Groups. Upon joining, you will receive a link for downloading a free 200 page educational manual that can teach you what you need to know. Take the time to learn what you can and should do. http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/DadsHouse/ http://tinyurl.com/GiveKidsAChoice http://www.fathersandfamilies.org/ http://www.parentalalienation.org/ http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=27395259

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