I don't think a relationship can work if you're not attracted to your partner. Clearly, when we see someone of the opposite sex, then we're either physically, or emotionally attracted to them. In other words, we find something either physically or personality-based that attracts to someone of the opposite sex. If you are not attracted to them physically, or attracted to their personality, then of course, you're not going to have a romantic relationship. You could be in love with someone else, even if, you're not attracted to them physically. For instance, you might love them because you're attracted to their personality. Many couples have married others because of their personalities as opposed to their looks. This explains why you might have a physically unattractive person married to a physically attractive person becuase they were basing their romantic relationship on their personalities as opposed to their looks. Bottom line: If there's no attraction physical, or personality-based, then you can still love them in a platonic, friendly manner, but not romantically as in the type of love you would have for someone else if you were to marry them.

i am not sure. i love my partner a lot. but i am not attracted to him at all. overall... he is the perfect person for me. but i am having problems with the lack of attraction. debating if i should break it off - but i think that would be shallow of me. we've been friends for 10 years, but dating for 2 years. and the past 2 years ive been trying to "become" attracted to him - but it just has not happened yet. although i love him as a friend, i am afraid that i am coming to the concluscion that i will never be IN LOVE with him. sigh....

I know exactly how you feel when it comes to not being attracted to your partner and having large difficulties trying to determine whether to stay in the relationship or not. My partner and I were together for 3.5 years previously, we were engaged for 1.5 of those years. I loved him more than anything in the world, I was also extremely attracted to him, physically, sexually, mentally and emotionally, however he broke off our relationship mid last year and I have had terrible difficulties dealing with this rejection as I really thought we would always be together, as he was my best friend, companion, lover and future husband. He was the first man I fell in love with and so I had shared so many experiences with him. During our breakup, I dated one other man whom was extremely attractive physically and sexually compared to my ex-fiance. I noticed a complete change in dating a different person altoegther. In the last 3 months, my ex-fiance and I decided to get back together and give the relatiosnhip another try, however I am struggling to stay attracted to him because I have now seen what its like to date other men. When I look at him, I see my best friend, but I am not sure if I could ever see him as a future long term partner again as I am struggling to be sexually and physically attracted to him again. He is still the same man I fell in love with, however I have become bored in the relationship and don't know how to deal with this situation, as I love him, but I have a funny feeling I am 'in love' with him. Any suggestions on how I can increase my attraction to him? Or make myself fall 'in love' again?

Lack of attraction is damaging to the other person and unfair to yourself. There are so many people out there, it is a waste to engage in relationships that are toxic to your wellbeing or the wellbeing of others. Let go of fear, guilt and regret and move on.

How do you talk to him/her about it. That lack of attraction is affecting my relationship romantically. I love her dearly but don't know if I can fully commit to a sexual relationship because (ok call me very shallow) she has put on a lot of weight since I met her and her skin has deteriorated. I try my hardest to look past these things but am confronted with them everytime I look at her. I don't want to end a relationship based on looks. She is perfect for me in every other way.

I'm in a similar situation at the moment, and have been since I met him. I am 26 years old and I've been seeing my partner for a year and a half now. He is such a great man and amazes in every way. I do love him but I question sometimes whether I truely love him unconditionally. Physically I do find him attractive but I dont feel completely comfortable when we go out. My partner is not the type of guy I would go for (some part peronality but mainly physically) and this is what make me uncomfortable. He is an athelete and works out regularly, very independant, shows me alot of respect, is very honest and loving. However, now we are contemplating getting married, it has been a few months since we have talked about it. Our families have met on a few occasions. My partner wants to get married and tells me that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. My folks want me to marry him and are to some point planning my wedding (ie decorating house, looking for venues etc).. but my gut feeling is up and down. We get on fantastic albeit our disagreements and arguments like any other normal couple, but I sometimes I really dont see myself with him long term. The idea of spending your life with someone you love should make you feel happy and make you naturally look forward to the future..but i dont feel like that. I see other attractive guys and think to myself thats the type of guy (not necessarily attractive everybody) that i have always seen myself with. This is what i'm struggling with. I can not completely agree to marry him whole heartedly or completely work away from this relationship. I have tried to and we have been through somerough patches but we always end up back with eachother. I understand the whole concept of being with someone and marrying them whole heartedly, but I'm stressed out to whether I will ever accept him completely for who he is.

It wouldn't work for me...it's part of the whole package. Weather I'm attracted first 100% or realize as I grow to love someone that they are beautiful to me...either way...it becomes one and the same!

im in a relation for last 4 years but im not attracted to towards him a lot. he luvz me lot care for me but just becoz he is skinny n little short in hieght im not tht way attracted the way i want to be attracted. wht shall i doo :( i dont want to end my relation but i want to be in luv wiht him completely

I'm not sure in my relationship with my gf that I am sexually attracted to her. I think I have a phobia of her endometriosis. We match up and are compatible in every other way, but I have not been able to get aroused enough to make love to her in over a month. I have high blood pressure and the medication throws me for a spin at times and maybe the reason for my erectile dysfunction. I would like to think that my ED is due to the change in medication, but what if it's not, then our relationship won't grow any further due to my phobia.

I believe it can work, in a manner of speaking. The relationship would be like a close friendship. You'd care about his/her well-being, which is a form of love, but the relationship would be missing that particular spark. However, I hesitate to tell you to end the relationship. Even the most passionate relationships cool off after a while, right?

Can you love them? Yes. Can the relationship work? No. If you love the person, but are not attracted to them, that is more of a friendship than a romantic relationship. Being attracted to a person is more than just looks. You can be attracted to someone no considered attractive because their personality, etc, makes them attractive. If that doesn't happen... it isn't really fair to either person to force a relationship.

It depends on what you mean by "work." People stay married for years without being attracted to each other. It's not the perfect situation, but they make it work.

i am due to get married soon,we have had sex three times in 1 year and she wants to get married.I am not physically attracted to her or sexually....what am to do,can this last?

i think that there is the very real chance that your partner will look for sex elsewhere if they are not enjoying a satisfying sex life with you. i have been with my partner for 3 1/2 years. for the first year we had good sex, but i did have to work to get him aroused - unless he'd been drinking in which case he couldn't get enough. for the last 2 years i have had every excuse under the sun as to why we don't have sex very often. from no bed side tables to tiredness to me being smelly to me not having nice breasts...and it goes on. he used to say i was too demanding if i tried to initiate sex after a few weeks without anything. my partner watches porn every day for several hours at work (his own boss). he will not share watching porn together and denies he does it!!! he also turns his head and stops talking to watch women walk by. i find his lies re the porn hurtful because this means we cannot have trust in our relationship because he openly lies to me. it also hurts because he has no desire to share his sexual excitement with me so we can enjoy a sexual relationship together. it hurts because he does not respect me and will openly ogle other women as if i dont matter at all. finally, it hurts because he thinks he can do what he wants behind my back (porn) and just leave me alone and i should be ok with this. he invited a man we met while out for a drink back to our place. this man was putting his hand up my skirt, grabbing my breasts and bum and talking dirty to me. i told my partner to ask this man to leave and he didnt believe me! he sees me as so unattractive that no man would want me. he said if there really was a problem i should ask him to leave myself. i used to think i was disgusting for him to react to me this way, but i know he has the issues. we are still together because he loves me like an angel and looks after me. this sound pathetic but it shows he cares. i gave up my career and moved countries to be with him. i now have nothing and no where to go. we are also expecting our first baby. he will be a great dad. i have tried talking to him about the lack of sex, lying about the porn, etc. but he either gets angry or lies to me to shut me up. so ive accepted life as it is and carry on- knowing that it may come to the stage when i just cant cope without a sex life(never had one until we met and not my choice to live a life without one). also due to his treatment of me, i no longer find him sexually desirable and no longer want sex with him - but i long for sex. now, he is back in touch with the love of his life (before me). he often used to call me her name and compare me to her - she always being the best. i have a feeling he will go behind my back and begin an affair with her. he finds her sexually attractive and his face lights up when he talks about her. he says they are just catching up by email. so, i dont think that a relationship without attreaction is a good idea, because there are so many ways in which your partner can be tempted away by the thrill of having something they dont have with you. they may love you for your personality, but in most cases i dont think this is enough and being best friends is not the same as a relatinship.

I'd sure like to know what the "dynamics" of the relationship was based on!?! The "laws of attraction" usually dictate SOME kind of "attraction".