ANSWERS: 29
  • Some couples like experimenting with their sex life... also they may not be that attached to the traditional meaning of "fidelity" -- like"fidelity" can also mean, trusting your partner with his or her freedom, and allowing secret desires out into the open. Take this in contrast to how one feels when "cheating" occurs -- it's not just about the sex -- it's about the intimacy as well -- that sense of betrayal from dishonesty. If you're sex life is boring, experimenting in the relative safe confines of a "sex party" keeps everything out in the open, and thus, open to discussion. For some couples, it can increase the degree of intimacy between them. Especially if they have kids, and splitting up is not a consideration. This is sort of like talking about the "smell of barbeque" -- no way to describe it really -- to some people it's "the smell of burnt flesh" -- to other's it's a yummy treat.
    • officegirl
      Well he is talking swapping, not sex parties. And is not that sex with my husband is "boring" but just sort of limited when with others I am able to express other parts of myself in that context.
  • Different attitudes and viewpoints. We all place different values on sexual acts. To some- and I imagine the person asking the question- sex is inseperably tied up with love, to share yourself physically with a person is an act of trust and love, and to do so with someone other than your partner is a betrayal of trust. To others, sex is merely the pleasurable physical act- its shoving body parts in each other, nothing more nothing less. Its a pleasurable activity which means no more than if you were to play a game of tennis with another person. To some sex is a deep, meaningful exchange- to others its a hobby. (Tellingly, the latter view increased in the 1960's when advantages in contraception meant that sex could be had with numerous partners with far less consequence than previously, and decreased a little after the discovery of AIDs in the 1980's) It is mistaken to assume that everyone associates sex only with love- in fact many partner-swapping couples claim that they love each other far more than your average couple as they do not entertain jealousy and envy- which are essentially selfish rather than loving thoughts- and are able to trust their partners so deeply that they allow them to have sex with another person without feeling insecure about it. People's attitudes are just different- that's all.
  • This question expresses a belief that when people love each other that they should forsake all other love and sexual congress. This is a view which encourages possesiveness and jelousy; two negative and destructive emotions. Not everyone believes that it is healthy to intrduce negative emotions into a relationship. In fact, some people believe that it is healthier to celebrate their partner's joys and pleasures. It also assumes that it is possible to love only one person. There are many who do not believe this to be true who engage in polyamorous relationships. The poly lifestyle is gaining in popularity. Polyamory is listed in Wikipedia. There are groups on all the major networking sights. More and more people are discovering polyamory every day. There are also people who are polysexual who love one person, but have sex with other people. One of the healthiest relationships I know of is polysexual. They love each other without reservation, and celebrate each other's pleasures.
    • officegirl
      Well I don't know that I celebrate my husband's joys and pleasures with others but I celebrate his ability and desire to enjoy them with others. And that polyamorous or whatever is much too big a word for me to understand - I just like men period and always have. And that didn't end when I finally married. My husband and I are more than only sex partners - we're best friends!
  • they are not in love because they are not considering each other. It is a self-centered love and merely infatuation seriously how can you swap partners when you are deeply in love? sex is a special 1 on 1 thing
    • officegirl
      Well it still is "1 on 1" but we are just doing it with others. No "infatuation" - my husband and I love each other just as our opposite numbers do. Is just that we are able to express parts of ourselves sexually with them that it is really not possible to do just with each other.
  • Woa, let's not confuse - swinging (having sex with other couples) with - polyamora (being in a serious loving relationship with more than one person) Two couples wanting to swap for a shag are not in love, it's just swinging. If the two couples live together and swap every two days then it is polyamore.
  • Sometimes it is because they love each other so much and they feel comfortable enough in the security of their relationship to feel free to share their warmth and happiness with others. Just because you become a couple does not mean some nerves suddenly fuse in your brain and you no longer feel attracted to others. We are social creatures and as such like to interact with others at a variety of levels, which includes having sex with other people simply for the sake of it. To be allowed to be ourselves and express this physically can be a wonderful gift of a loving committed relationship.
  • Yes they love each other and it's a marl of trust and sharing, when they go home, they are still together and live their life as a couple, to many people sex is just an extention to a handshake.
  • my lady and myself are bisexual and swingers , we are soul mates and are totally in love with each other but we both like to have sex with other people and thats all it is sex nothing more or nothing less just sex and its fantastic and satisfy's both our sexual needs and desires ...open and contented and never any need to cheat behind each others back
  • Some couples can separate sex from the love they share. Some couples express their love in ways in which others are not comfortable. That means they are different, not wrong.
  • ccause they are messed up and strange people.i guess they like strange booTIe!!!!.other than that all i can say is SWITCH!!!!!!!!
  • Not everyone looks at sex the same way. I personally believe sex is an act to be shared between two people who love each other very much in the interests of strengthening that love for each other through the physical act of sex. Some people just see it as something one does for the sheer pleasure of it. I would imagine those who enjoy that sort of lifestyle would really have to be very much inlove with each other. Especially those couples who have a partner that enjoys watching the other partner having sex with someone else.
  • .. and in lust with others.
  • Yes and no. Depends on their relationship with each other. Are they right or wrong? That depends on how they feel about it. The question should be asked if its okay to swap or swing if the other partner isn't involved. Now, would the same couple have the same answers?
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  • There is a big difference between in love and in lust.
  • For the fun of it!
  • For the fun of it!
  • its absolutely true im a polyamore, i have two partners and it is easy for people to think its an excuse to sleep around. but i love them as much as eachother and as such i feel happy to let them screw with other people because i trust them and if they want that to make them feel happy then fine because in the long run it means everyone is happyer so long as they communicate and this is the main factor communication is nessacary to have a functioning polyamorous relationship.
  • Some don't have the same view of sex. Some don't equate love with sex. For some people, sex is an act to be done for sheer pleasure regardless of whom it is with. Some don't have the same view of marriage. Some don't feel fidelity effects the personal relationship with each other because they have separated love and sex. I personally cannot separate the two and would be offended if my wife slept with someone else. To me it seems like those kinds of couples are married friends, rather than married partners.
  • You can be very much in love with your partner, but still swap. It's sex that's it nothing more nothing less.
  • Variety is the spice of life for some people
  • Swap meat ? Wow, the world really has gone crazy. If you really love your partner, you would never let anybody have sex with your partner. For whatever reason you may have. Period. I can't imagine letting my wife have sex with anyone. Well, if you humans consider yourselves as animals. I won't blame you. Animals tends to have sex to whatever they see. That's the difference of being human. We have "THINKING BRAINS". Hello ?? Some people join certain religions just to have an alibi of having multiple wives. ( Although not really swapping) But still, remember your vows when you get married ? Joining "Cult", is another alibi of having swapping couples. Wake up, read the Bible cover to cover. None of the pages encourages you to swapping couples. GOD BLESS ALL OF US. I'm no saint, you know ? I have my own regrets too. It's never too late to repent.
  • Some are accually so much in love that they can share the enjoyment of even their partner having sex
  • Some people want to have sex with others even after marriage to avoid divorce cause of cheating, they swap their spouses for others and swing...Some people can not stay with one person...Thats how it goes..
  • Just to fill up the bedroom's void and to experiment how wonderful sex ouside the bedroom, specially for couples longly lived that sex sometimes faltered. New sexual partner adds thrills, it gives more excitements and sure always refresh your boring mood. Making love other than spouse is much more intense than your loved spouse.
  • Couples who engaged in swapping or swinging with other couples are open minded couples who understand deeply their own partner specially in bedroom messy. When married for long and you stay and lived long with the same partner, sex is not the same. Sex between couples will slow down. One or both partners lose interest. Relationship will endanger if this problem will not be fix. They were the couple who choose to enhance or add spice to their own sexual desires. Couples who are adventurer are do more experimenting will lead to higher level will try swapping or swinging. Because they have better option to do what they think more confortable and at the same time they can watch and or join with other couples. Here they both have the consent.The Couples who lived and stay longer with their own the same partner where sex is no longer interested or hot also has this option to swapp or swing. Then the when couples feel something messy inside in their own bedroom, one or both couples will attempt to look for options. Because they loved to much and they will not put endanger to their married to be separated through extra marital or secrete affairs, the swapping is more acceptable to both of them to give consent to them. Because they understand the need of each other ‘s lust through other mate, swapping is better option than an affairs to kept, they know that love is always there by their spouse-partner .
  • someone like to fun with couple for husband.can not love but like fun with couple for husband strong
  • Who said that couples are not in love with each other when they tend to swap? That does not make any sense. Take for an example if the couples are not expressing their sexual intentions towards each other then they are not disclosing anything between themselves. For those who divulge all the details and be honest and truthful to each other tend to tell that they would like another male or female or couple in to their lifestyles. Bingo here goes the reality if one is not interested and the other is interested they might tend to get a breakup or in some cases if he/she loves him so much he/she would certainly say yes and encourage him/her to proceed towards swapping. Those who really love each other do it only to enhance the sexual life and achieving it by remaining together once again proving that sex is always a part of life and should be experimented if an opportunity is available. As far as my opinion is concerned i would recommend you to do it if both of you are mutual and are looking forward to it and be careful in selecting the partners you are looking for. Happy Swapping. Lovingly Maggge.
  • I think you are being far too idealistic in thinking that because they swap somehow they don't love each other. They love each other but still want to enjoy others within the context of their marriage. Can be for the strokes and excitement, the feeling of being desired, the extra orgasms, or just to be able to enjoy something other than what we have at home. Being mutual it cannot be considered cheating though still feelings of jealousy can arise which need to be handled.

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