• I'm assuming your question is "Am I wrong for not wanting this"? it's your daughter's birthday -- turning into a teenager -- wow! once in a lifetime. She should be able to invite her mother.
  • "...for not wanting to spend this special day with my ex?" Was that the rest of your sentence? If it was, here's my answer....NO, you are not wrong for not wanting to spend this special day with your ex. HOWEVER, it's not really YOUR special day, is it? It's your daughter's special day and she should be free to have BOTH of her parents at HER special event. You need to bite your tongue, hold your head up high, and be cordial (if not friendly) towards your ex for your daughter's sake. Even be willing to take pictures with your ex and daughter so your daughter will have a treasure to keep forever!! You have no IDEA how much it will mean to her later in life. She already knows you guys can't stand each other and trust me, it makes her VERY, VERY sad whether she ever tells you that or not. Give her the best gift ever.....peace and harmony on HER special day! Go and enjoy yourself despite the "other" attendee!!
  • It sounds like you still have unresolved issues with your ex. There is no reason to ruin your daughters' special day because of your own issues. You are not wrong for wanting to avoid unpleasantness, maybe you should have some counseling ahead of time, or try to get a grip on your own feelings, and not pass them off on your daughter.
  • your daughters day should be about her, not you. this is a big birthday, she's turning into a teenager. if you have issues with your ex, save it till after. if you are both insistant on coming, than just focus on your other guests. if she is really having 40 friends come, you will have plenty of other people to talk to.
  • I'm not sure I'd let a 13 year old tell me what to pay for and what kind of party she was going to have. How does a 12 year old kid have 40 nearest and dearest friends; sounds more like showing off. 13 is a big deal but hall and 40 not counting family is a big financial deal. Her mother should come to a party.

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