Usually they start letting you know which parent they prefer to live with as they hit their teens. Often it is easier to let them chose if both parents are decent, and the child will be happier for the most part living where they prefer.

Wit till the child is around 11 years old. When child comes out for summer vacation, immediatly hire an attorney and begin the process of change of custody. You want court held in your state and county.Do not fear the law- they will not step in on these matters. No copper would dare pull a child away from a parent, especially if a custody case has begun. And possession counts.It's quite easy to do if the child wants to change residence.Make sure you get support.

It depends on the state, but it's usually between 10 and 13 years old.

I'm about 90% sure it's 13 when the child can decide. That's how old I was when I had to make that decision, and I was told that was the earliest I could.

A Child's Choice: What Is The Right Age For A Child To Choose Which Parent To Live With? http://cabaraoke.newsvine.com/_news/2008/12/01/2165344-a-childs-choice-what-is-the-right-age-for-a-child-to-choose-which-parent-to-live-with The child can demand Joint Custody of them, and not the other way around. They can be told that the children need to remain in the home and each parent can live there for three weeks, than switch. Once a week the parent not in residence takes the children out to dinner. While in the home, the parent does not date or have overnight guests, other than relatives. On the off weeks, the parent rents a room, stays with relatives or friends, or they can split the cost of a one bedroom apartment that they share. The priority here is the children not having their lives disrupted by the choices of the parents. The parents' lives are equally disrupted and they split the cost of being in the home. If child support is ordered, both parents can pay into a trust fund that pays out to cover the children’s expenses. Anything over and above those expenses remains there to collect interest and goes toward a college education. When the children are grown, and completely out of the home, than the property can be sold or whatever the parents want to do with it. This is called Bird Nest Custody. The children remain in the nest and the bird take turns being there. http://tinyurl.com/GiveKidsAChoice

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I think it's best for the child to stay in joint custody unless they decide they're not happy with the situation.