ANSWERS: 6
  • Of course you want children because your body is created for that and you want to cement and strengthen your relationship by creating family ties. But understand that men do not hold family and relationships to be as important as we do and they think more in terms of what they will do with their lives. Even if they love us what they want to accomplish in life is more important to them. And true a lot of men see it more in terms of responsibilities that will not permit them to live their lives in pursuit of what they see is more important. And though we want kids it is not the same thing as wanting a house of a car. Children should come naturally from a happy and productive union of two people. Otherwise what you get is kids without active and live-in fathers. Or sometimes mothers. So please consider what is more important to you - the relationship you have, or having kids. Six months of time is not a long time of being together so really you are just learning about one another. And you may find he is not someone you want to be with long-term. On the other hand would you get together with someone just to have kids? I don't think so because then there might not be a close enough relationship to satisfactorily support children in all ways. Men often want children as a proclamation or outgrowth of their success in life and until they get to that point they may perhaps shy away.
    • dorat
      Mostly I agree with Officegirl - who is one of the smartest and insightful people on this site. She is absolutely right that 6 months is not a long time to have spent together - and you just learned something about him that you don't like. Seldom do life's lessons make themselves more obvious. However, only you can know how much having children means to you. Let me, however, disagree strenuously with Officegirl on one point. She is wrong - and more than wrong - about how men feel about their families and children. I am a successful professional in DC - as is my gf, though she gave up working for a few years. I value my career, of course, but I would toss it away in a heartbeat for my gf and our three beautiful children. They are what makes it worth my time to get up in the morning. I love them with all my heart and am as proud of them - moreso - than anything I have ever done in my career. (I should explain, my gf and I decided years ago that we did not want to be married. We don't object to marriage per se, but we like the feeling that what bonds us together is us, our love for each other and what we have. Not some license from the state or a ring or a ceremony.) Officegirl is right that, for some men, climbing the career ladder is the be all end all. SOME men. You are dating one of them right now. However, if you decide that you want children and that you are not with the right guy - and don't fool yourself, to keep you he may agree, but be sure he will be the kind of father you want him to be, and not just doing it to appease you - then you need to move on. This I promise you, there are men out there who love their s/o's and children and would do anything we can to nurture and protect them. We may screw up every now and then - and yes, sometimes the work pressures will get to us - but when the chips are down we will be there. (Besides, finding the right work/life balance is an art, not a science, and everyone will pick their own best way. It is not impossible,) The choice is yours, and only you can make it, but don't believe for a minute that all men are alike. We're not. No more than every woman is.
  • Do you want to stay with your partner? Do you want to have kids? Choose.
  • Get another bloke to impregnate you.
  • 12-30-2016 A relationship is when you both feel pretty much the same. Like if you want kids and he doesn't then that is a poor relationship.
  • This is clearly a very important issue for you and you have every right to want kids. I suggest talking to him about this is a very calm way and do not accuse him of anything like,
  • This is clearly a very important issue for you and you have every right to want kids. I suggest talking to him about this is a very calm way and do not accuse him of anything like,

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