ANSWERS: 77
  • If you don't tell her, you WILL regret it.
  • First, you don't KNOW how she feels. So you need to find out- somehow. Then make your decision from there. If she's not interested, drop it, and if she is, go for it.
  • Yes, all you can do is throw it out there and see how it plays out, dont live your life wondering "What if". It the most awesome thing in the world to be in love with your best friend. If she's interested, great, if not, then just friends it is. That just means the right one is still looking for you.
  • I'd say tell her. I think no matter what she says, in some way, you'll feel better. That's a big secret to keep, especially FROM your best friend. It'll take a lot of the weight off just to finally say how you feel. I mean, the worst that could happen would be that she wouldn't feel the same, and there's nothing you can do about that anyway. You might as well take the chance and find out.
  • To be honest, she probably can already tell, so you might as well just clarify it.
  • Putting your heart out there is the hardest thing. Especially, when it's a close friend. Sometimes you have to close both eyes and jump in or you will never know.
  • TELL HER! SOON! NOW!!- I'm in the exact same boat! I asked on here and got all mixed answers- most were sincere and all were helpful. Here's the thing- this site is really about us asking for answers we WANT to hear- not necessarily the truth. NOBODY on here can tell you she loves you because we don't KNOW. I told mine and she hasn't given me the answers I WANT- but we're still best friends. I still hope for more-and may or may not ever get it- but telling her was WAY better than wondering! GOOD LUCK!!!
  • Does she have a current boyfreind? if so.. dont tell her, because you came to her as the guy friend, not her lover, so you played yourself. " the early bird gets the worm" not the bird that sleeps in late : ) u slept in to long, you might get some left overs, but your better than that, I hope : )
  • you should be open with your friend and tell them how you feel or you will hate it if you miss the chance life is too short to sit on the fence and watch it go by. we only gain by trying although we may never get everything we desire how will we know unless we give it effort.
  • i would say tell her but then again same thing happened to me and when i told him he said he had to think about we havent talked in a month if i could roll back time i would have never told i lost a best friend that i c everyday and we justg dont talk and we haqve common friends so it makes it hard but what happen to me doesnt happen to everyone if you dont tell her youwill regret it youll never know untill you make the first move you never know maybe she feels the same about you good luck
  • Just put it this way-- its like the jumping board at the swimming pool. You're standing at the edge, and you don't know if you will or not. If you jump, you may hit the water hard; you may even get hurt, but you'll survive it. There will be other swimming pools, other jumping boards. At least it will allow you to move on from there. Hey, your jump may even be flawless... (she might even like you after all!) But if you don't tell her now, you will be standing at the edge, forever wondering what would've happened if you just closed your eyes and jumped.
  • You're really in a catch 22 my friend. If you don't tell her, you may never know and could be missing out on something wonderful. If you tell her, it could ruin your friendship. Only you can really decide what the correct action is. I would say that it's always better to take a risk and if she really cares for you she'll be there regardless of how she feels or not. Nothing ventured nothing gained.
  • Know that even if she doesn't love you, it is a relief to get this off your chest. Don't make a big production of it. Just give it to her straight. Acting like a drama king/queen could make her reject you. Remember, loving someone is not something people plan or do on purpose. Telling her that you can't help feeling the way you feel might help. Go easy on her, since telling her that you love her might be a bit overwhelming for her, and she may need a minute or two to think about it. Wait for the right moment. Don't tell her you love her when either one of you is amongst friends. Wait until you are alone. But when you are, don't wait tell her. Respect her reaction. If she doesn't love you back, your life isn't over; it may hurt, but that's how she feels. Make sure that you are sure you are ready for the emotional roller coaster of love. There are highs and there are lows; if you are just thinking of saying it to get laid, DON'T. If you really love someone, you will respect them, care for them, and be there for the good and the bad. Are you ready for that? Tips Look nice, shower, spray some aftershave or cologne. This might just give that extra bit that was needed. Don't tell everybody you know you love her before you tell her. It is not a good thing if she finds out on her own. Love can be a tricky thing. She might change her mind after she gave you an answer. Don't stalk her to see if she has changed her mind yet. Make sure you have an answer prepared for any possible reaction. If she rejects you, ask if she wants to be/stay friends; letting her know you care about her might help change her mind eventually. Consider not saying anything at all. No one likes needy people. If she loves you and tells you so, you're all set. If she doesn't, either she's not ready to tell you anyways, or she just doesn't feel that way about you. Warnings No means no. If she turns you down, live with it. Following her and try to be along side of her can be seen as stalking, which is illegal in most countries. She might say that she loves you back; be prepared for that. If she does, its most likely not okay to say every single feeling you have for her right away, express it over time and she will most likely realize how important you are to her
  • well i can only tell you what i know from my own life! (I was the best friend btw) I say go for it tell her but don't press her for an answer that never works! definatly make sure she doesn't have a boyfriend! And i cant stress enough not to be in her face about it! When my best friend told me i didn't know what to say and changed the subject i had never thought of him in that way! i feel bad about not saying anything then but he left me alone and even though it took me two months to come around i realised that he was more than a friend for me too! and now we have never been happier. so back off about getting your answer just keep things normal if you can. and wait maybe she will come around like i did! Good luck and dive in head first!
  • your about to recieve advice from a 12 year old lol anywayy...TELL HER NOW! DO NOT!!!!!!!!!! make her jealous or use a different girl to make her jealous..if she finds out she will just think your a jerk....just sacrafice your friendship and your heart man....you'll make it no matter what!...and if she turns you down youll be okay she is evidentally not for you...and i promise you youll make it dude...there is no dont in my mind what so ever and just go out there and bare it all....if you love her that much youll understand if she turns you down...because you should want the best for her and man...thats all i have to say good luck and strap down ----------Nate
  • well...my best friend and i were friends for 4 years...i secretly liked her ever since i met her...i just recently asked her out and it was the best thing i have ever done....good luck
  • I'm in love with my best friend as well and I enjoy the moments we spend together. I know that I'm special for him but still I try to catch the tiny signs of his feelings. I observe his reaction and I know that it's not time to reveal my feelings yet. Let's say, I prepare the ground till the rose will sprout for itself.
  • im in love with my best friend and i told her i was in love with her. she didnt feel the same way and said she loves me as a friend.it hurt alot when she told me that.i told her though that it would hurt alot worse if i lost her as a friend. nothing changed between us were just like we always was.hopefully one day she will realize that she loves me like i love her because it kills me inside when im with her, but at the same time it kills me when im not.
  • Dude, I promise you that you will never get this girl. you will sit around pining for her until another guy swoops in and cuts you out of the picture. I've been a friend before, its brutal. what you need to do is give her a reason to want you, make her fear losing you. start by putting some distance between you and make her wonder a little. She knows what you are all about, what is the adventure in dating you? Women are like cats, when you dangle the string in front of them they are interested, but when you drop the string on the floor they walk away. You need to learn how to get her interest. My advice is to step your game up by getting some books on dating and attracting woman, And never become a girl's friend in order to get close to them. once they drop the friendship bomb on you-tell em you have enough friends, this way if they see you have some balls and they are slightly interested, they will fear the rejection and may be willing to date. oh- and don't listen to female advice on how to get a female, lol -
  • Heh. You can tell her how you feel and risk being hurt... Dont try for too long to get her to like you... Its best to try and fail then to never try again, regrets are best when non-existent.
  • im in the same situation with a friend but they are not in a relationship
  • I'm in love with one of my friends and I told her about my feelings. She said that she had suspected that I had feelings all along for her and was surprised that I actually had the guts to tell her. She told me that she didn't think of me that way, but our relationship is still the same, thank God. So the thing is, if you find the guts to tell her, you have to be able to accept whatever happens. She could return your feelings or she might not. But whatever happens accept it and don't let it get you down. You can still be friends just as long as you're not looking for more.
  • The best thing you could do is tell her. If she's a true friend and doesn't feel the same way nothing bad will come out of it, and you can still stay friends in the long run. Besides remember this, if you do end up dating her and you break up it would ruin your friendship, but you're friendship will always last if you JUST stay friends.(unless there are other circumstances)
  • Hey, me and my best friend become official yesterday March 9, 2008 at 9:52PM CST after 8 months of going back and forth because she was going out with someone and her uncertainty of not wanting to "hurt our friendship." Now I feel like a kid in a candy store :)
  • it really depends. i was completely in love with my best friend for 5 years. i thought he felt the same way and just didn't want to mess up the friendship. then we finally talked about it and even though he had been leading me on, he didn't feel the same way. about a month later he got a girlfriend and didn't tell me about it. because i didn't let go or really talk to him about his feelings before, he left me broken hearted. just make sure you know how she feels about you before you get too raped up in her. don't asume.
  • i would tell her. you might spend the rest of your life wondering what if. she just might feel the same way that you feel.
  • Just tell her. I'm in the same situation with my best guy friend. I've actually asked a similar question on here. I'm so afraid to tell him I love him because I don't know how he feels. What if she's thinking this same thing about you? Maybe she loves you too and has the same fears you do. So, there you go. My best advice. Just tell her. Just tell her. Now. Just make yourself do it. If only I could take my own advice.... :/ I wish you all the luck in the world! Hope all goes well!
  • ALWAYS tell someone when you like them. in all honestly i had this issue for 3 years, i finaly told her and it turned out she felt the same way, and ive been in the best relationship of my life. chances are she has some feelings for you too, and if not you can get over the awquardness and shell make fun of you for liking her. but do tell her in all honesty you can not tell her and kick yourself in the ass for the rest of your life or be daring and try, think about it, if it works out, youll be dating somone who knows you like no other person from the start. things could only get better
  • There is no way to get over it unless you meet someone equally if not more exciting and breathtaking in your life. I am currently in a similar situation but I couldn't keep going on everday seeing this person and keeping quiet. I eventually expressed how I felt, and I really received no reaction from her...She finally said she doesn't have feelings for me. I was devastated of course, but after this happened she still proceeded to send me mixed signals (highly flirtatious only around me) As hard as it is I've told myself "You can't control your feelings, but you can try to contain them." I have been trying to stick by these words but we still constantly hang out and do things couples would do so its becoming increasingly difficult. You should really be honest and let her know, its not fair to you, nor to her to continue keeping this a secret.
  • im in a similar situation but i had to answer my question to fully explain it and now noone can find it... can someone please help? http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/3883854
  • go for it. you never truly know the potential of a relationship until youre in it ~ until then its just hopes and conjecture. who knows, maybe she feels the same about you, she just keeps it under wraps. if you want to get her attention surprise her, ask her on a date, tell her how you feel, seduce her. if you try the getting over it route, my guess is youll never get over it. youll always wonder what if. the best way to live your life my friend is the path with no regrets. follow your heart.
  • i was but i thought she liked me so i told her and she didn't love me but she helped me finding a nother girl friend and i got over it and we are still are best friends so tell her
  • I was in the same situation . I told her about my feelings . It wasn't easy at first. She liked another guy , I knew that but still , I had to tell her. When I told her , I did it like a drama queen . I admit it . I didn't have any idea on how to tell her. Ofcourse , she wasn't interested in me , romanticaly that was. We decided to stay friends. Close ones. Will I lie to you and say '' and ever since that day we became even closer friends'' . No , that wasn't the case. The important thing now is that I got over it. Will I regret having told her which led to a degradation of a friendship that was more solid ? I dunno . maybe it was meant to be. Maybe it was just better of that way. Anways that was My experience. Ofcourse other experiences have led to great relationships. Don't give up . Life is too short
  • Well you always risk the chance of losing her friendship, but if you are in love with her, continuing the friendship will only torture you. You should see PRETTY IN PINK. I say, CARPEDIEM....SEIZE THE DAY BOY! MAKE YOUR LIFE EXTRAORDINARY! -Dead Poets Society (Edited a bit to fit your situation)
  • I was in this situation, and I tried saying something to let my feelings be known. She responded by getting more distant. Then, when I was arrested, she missed me so much, and came to see me. She eventually realized how much she cared for me. She left her boyfriend while I was in jail, and when I got out she and I began dating. That took over 2 years, but she came around on her own.
  • I've been in the same shoes, I waited 4 years before I did anything about my feelings. She rejected me and the relationship was lost altogether, but I am so glad that I brought the issue to her attention. Sitting in purgatory because you are afraid to ruin the "friend" relationship that you enjoy will only cause you to become depressed and frustrated, I think it is better to try than to have regrets.
  • I would be careful.I have lost a good friend because we took it to the dating relationship thing.Even though we still talk and hang out its not the same.I wished we kept our friendship.
  • it's always hard to know what to do when you have to put your heart out on a line like that. but the only option you TRULY have is to tell her the truth. it isn't impossible that she could feel the same way. in fact, telling her might make her see or think of things that never occurred to her before. it could open a world of possibilities for the both of you. even if she doesn't seem game at first.. give her time to adjust to the idea. maybe there's some passion bubbling inside of her for you that she never noticed (?) and if, in the end, she tells you that friendship is all you're getting.. you'll have atleast put yourself out there.. and you won't have any regrets. you should never regret telling someone that you care about them. so, it's worth a shot. see what happens.
  • Faint heart never won fair maiden. If you don't tell her, who will? Who else knows? Only you! If she's your true friend then she'll cope with that. You may not get the reply you long for but if you don't tell her you'll never know. If you're her true friend then you'll tell her the truth not lies.
  • Im in the same postion im going to tell her how i feel the next time i see her, shes an amazing girl, but im sure she will wont like what im going to tell her, but afterall best friends dont keep secrets.
  • i am i a similar situation i am her best fried i go to her place i know her parents, i know her friends, we tell every thing to each other ecept i have never told her how i realy feel, for the past year she was in a relation ship with one of my other very good frieds and he was like very close with her before they started dating, now they broke up and for him it was devastating and for her it was kind of releving i used to help them out when they quareled but deep inside i almost wished that they broke up so that i could get a chance. now they dont talk any more and i am like split in 2. but on the other hand i have never been closer to her. it's been a month they broke up now and i am considering teling her but i am afraid that if she does not feel the same way i would lose my best fried and things could never be the same between us, on the other hand if things go whrite i will lose my friend from the other side. i feel like my head is going to explode. and when i am with her i feel like i cant live with out her and if i dont tell her how i feel i can always be her friend and close to her.
  • i am i a similar situation i am her best friend i go to her place i know her parents, i know her friends, we tell every thing to each other ecept i have never told her how i realy feel, for the past year she was in a relation ship with one of my other very good friends and he was like very close with her before they started dating, now they broke up and for him it was devastating and for her it was kind of releving i used to help them out when they quareled but deep inside i almost wished that they broke up so that i could get a chance. now they dont talk any more and i am like split in 2. but on the other hand i have never been closer to her. it's been a month they broke up now and i am considering teling her but i am afraid that if she does not feel the same way i would lose my best friend and things could never be the same between us, on the other hand if things go whrite i will lose my friend from the other side. i feel like my head is going to explode. and when i am with her i feel like i cant live with out her and if i dont tell her how i feel i can always be her friend and close to her.
  • If she doesn't feel the same about you, you have no choice but to get over it. Tell her how you feel, if she doesn't feel the same, and is a true friend, it won't hurt your friendship. Believe me, if she doesn't feel the same way, you won't either in time.
  • I HAVE BEEN IN THE SAME SITUATION!! I am 19 years old, and am fairly intelligent. Anyway, I have huge feelings for my best friend and I told her I liked her. She said she'd rather be friends, mainly because of the distance between us. Hopefully that will change, but for now we are enjoying an even better friendship. So my advice is to tell her how you feel. Even if she says no, at least she knows and after thinking about it, she may change her mind. If you never tell her, you will regret that for a long time! I wish you the best of luck! Nick If you would like to ask me anything, feel free to e-mail me at honestfisherman@yahoo.com
  • Very hard question my friend. Most of the elite Date Coaches say that it is easier to date 60 new women then to get out of the Friend Zone. Some even say it is impossible. I have proven otherwise, although it requires a lot of time, work, and patience to get into a lovers role. Actually best way to get her to feel a loss for you and ramp up her emotions is to move on just as you would do if you were giving up. Either way if you get her, or you find better it is a win win situation for you. You have to take a step back and not spend so much time with her. Remain active in her life but try to keep it to phone and text and brief. Start dating.. not one but 5 women.. you need to get busy and you also have to get a good understanding of the women out there and how truly special they are. This friend isn't an isolated case there are many other women as great as her or better. In the process you will create some fear of loss and as my friend puts it, you will give her the gift of missing you. Then when you are together get out of the friend mode.. tell her she is looking hot... or not for that matter... give her a long look. This is what we call a Pull technique, then Push her away with a cocky funny comment like.. but it would never work out between us.. because I am out of your league.. lol Practice Pulling and Pushing this will make her feel some weird emotions.. and you will be brewing her emotions towards you. Now this all takes time sometimes even 6 months to a year.. either way you will find a new woman or you will get her chasing you. A key indicator of this is the kino she uses on you (touching).. we call this an IOI (Indicator of Interest) the hotter it gets the more of what you are doing is working. Just remember a lover and friend are two different things and act totally different. For more info on the Friend Trap you can go look on the seductionhalloffame.com Forums... always someone there to help out.
  • I Dont feel "you should try to get over it" if you have a healthy friendship, stay her friend and become more and more romantic, but do this very slow, Remember females fall inlove by using there heart and most men fall inlove by using there eyes, so if you search your heart and want a romantic relationship then become more romantic, but be romantic over a long streach of time and dont bring up the fact that you want a relationship till you have taken the steps of becoming more romantic. Dr.Graysand
  • I would have to tell her. I understand your position. You want to tell her, but you dont want to mess up the relationship. It is possible that she feels the same way for you. I think she would want to know about it.
  • I would have to tell her. I understand your position. You want to tell her, but you dont want to mess up the relationship. It is possible that she feels the same way for you. I think she would want to know about it.
  • grab her tit and say i want you to be my noble steed
  • You should tell her AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!!! I don't want anybody to feel what I'm feeling now, it's because I made a mistake a long time ago regarding your situation. I didn't tell, now I regret it
  • The worst she can do is either say no or turn her back on you. Why would you be scared of that? If she does that then would you want to be with a girl who doesn't care or would you rather know how she feels for real? The best you can do in that situation is suck it up and remind yourself that you can do better. Trust me, you can. I'm Miss_Pureblood. I was never supposed to fall in love, as I was told in school, and I did.
  • i had the same problem 2 day with my best friend. we flirt all the time and i relly liked her so i told her and she said that she thinks im cute and said she relly likes me as a friend and mite possibly like me more. so dude tell her its worth it. i wus scard 2 becuz i thot it wuld ruin our friendship, but it didnt it made it better!
  • it kind of depends.. if she talks to you about other guy problems shes having and telling you that kind of stuff she thinks of you as her best friend not boyfriend.. girls care more about not ruining that friendship relationship so if i were you next time she talks about how great something some guy did for her.. double it and watch for her reasction.. it will give her the hint your interested like if she says.. wehn i was sick he came to visit me once a week! and seems like thats a huge deal look at her confused and saying once a week? yeah atleast.. for you it should be everyday though.. then look at her and smile
  • you know wht?. i am actually in the same situation now. me and this girl have been best friends for a few years now and just lately ive developed feeling for her. we have gone the last few years dating other people but just recently shes came on a family trip with my family for a few days, and let me tell ya, it was so very hard leaving her afterwards. I dont like any of her ex's and her current bf, but im thinking maybe it is just because i dont think anyone is good enough to date her, or im jealous shes with them instead of me. the trip was last week ever since then i havent been able to sleep right or even eat. shes is the most special girl i have ever met, there is a reason why best friends are best friends. our friends have said tht maybe we should date but she said she sees us more as brother and sister. i did, but i dont see tht now. i think she might suspect tht im developing feeling for her,but she doesnt know for sure. i have talked to friends and some of my 40 some bosses and they say go for it and tell her because you will be wondering the big "what if". last night i decided that im not going to wait any longer, im telling her tonight. if we end up spliting, then i will understand and will go on not regreting anything. so, yeah, the best thing to do is to tell her how you feel, but no matter the outcome, remember, NO REGRETS!..hope this helps. wish me luck for tonight..=)
  • get over it. trust me. if you go after her it will make things even more akward and uncumfterble
  • about one month ago i felt this way too, ı am sure that he is interested in me too but ı chose to get over it.
  • same thing with me!!!!!!!!
  • If you think she doesn't feel the same as you, more likely she doesn't so don't tell her anything. You may end up losing her as a friend. Continue being her friend, be there for her, and find out if she love someone else.
  • Break off all contact with her at once. be as big of a jerk as possible and ignor her. If she doesnt love you back, there is no point in being her friend. If you do you will get stuck in the miserable "friend zone" and be used as an emotional tampon while she goes around and date other guys. By being a jerk to her you also let her know that you are pissed that she doesnt feel the same way about you. Just dont be her friend any more; you dont want to giver a free shoulder to cry on do you? End it, theres no point in being friends if it wont lead anywhere serious.
  • tell her now what are you waiting for, tell her you need to talk to her and jsut say you want to go out with her or jsut give her small hints and then shell probably get it ;) just be honest, if your rlly best firends u shudnt be hiding your feelings so just go for it.. if you dont ull be stting watching tv wondering ohh i wonder what wouldve happened if i told her. u know what i mean ?
  • if you don't think she feels the same way then wait until your relationship grows stronger then tell maybe there will be hope once you become closer
  • It will drive you crazy, unless you have a serious talk with her. The results may not be what you expected. Good luck.
  • I think you should tell her how you feel and ask her how she feels. If she doesn't feel the same concentrate on the friendship. If she does feel the same then you've gained a girlfriend. The best basis to any romantic relationship is a good friendship.
  • You have two choices. You can tell her how you feel. If she doesn't feel the same your friendship will never be the same. The second option is to not tell her and keep her as your best friend. Options two leaves open the possibility of a romantic relationship with her in the future.
  • be like listen i like u and if she doesent like u back doesent mean u should give up and can u halp me too!! please im beaging u!! and like call her sexayy girls/boys eat that up
  • i think you should tell her your feelings..you would never know, if you did not try.. who knows, she feels the same way to, but just like you, she also don't know if you feel the same way too.
  • Have you ever watched the movie Theres Something About Mary? Your situation is the identical as the story in this movie. He waited 13 years, but they finally made it together. Best friends make best lovers and best wedding partners. If Cupid has shot his arrow into your heart for her, do whatever it takes to get you two together. Seriously, this will ruin your life, if you do not. Start with just a simple conversation with her. you will know how she accepts you. Just be you and no one else. if not, she will see through this right away. I wish you lots of luck. By the way, her name is not Mary, is it?
  • just be there as a friend~~she will probalby think you are weird if you try to put the make on her?
  • if she is your best friend then always be with her , but as afriend and propose her without any panic because if she is your best friend then she will give you the exact answer as well as if she refuses she will be with you after all this but as a friend
  • Be honest and tell her. Otherwise you'll be left wondering and may never know how she feels. If you're best friends you should be able to share everything. If she doesn't feel the same, given time you'll be able to move past it :)
  • if you r in love with ur bestfriend then i think she feels the same because bestfriend are the persons who feels about the feelings of one friend so u should try to make her your own and tell the feeling
  • Tell her how you feel and explain to her that if she does not feel the same that you will be able to stay friends. Mybe she feels the same??
  • You should definately talk to her about it. Really. I was in the exact same situation not long ago. My best friend was in love with me. I didn't know how I felt at the time, but he would always hint that he loved me. Eventually I got the idea, and with him being so persistent, I just gave in. I realized that I too was in love with him, and we are still together to this day :)
  • i told her my feelings, and she said she felt the same but she was really conflicted becasue she recently broke up with her boyfriend. I don't think i did it at the right time, but we still are friends...its really awkward now. but our friendship is healing again.
  • If for nothing else, you have told her how you feel about her. this will stick in the back of her mind forever. if she and her boyfriend do not get back together, she will let you know what you should do next. Be on the alert that you may be just a boyfriend on the rebound. so expect this. time is on your side and it will be up to you to win her over for you and only you. If its meant to be, it will be.
  • why not ask her or send Anonymous letters about it and "accidentally" see her opening one of the notes
  • You gotta let it go.

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