My boyfriend broke up with me because i smoke. I have tried quitting but its hard. He said he cant be with a smoker. I dont want to lose him.
by 
Anonymous
ANSWERS: 35
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You have to decide whether He's worth the very pricey methods of quitting smoking, it can be done if you are determined. If not then you probably should leave him.
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This does not appear to be a question because i think you already know the answer. I know it is difficult I have been a smoker.You know it is either the smoking or the boyfriend . You must decide what you want more.
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Well it sounds like you've got to make a choice between him and the fags. I'm a smoker myself and so i know that quitting is not easy. But your boyfriend has a right to make choices about his own life, so he has a right to not want to be with you if you smoke. Have you tried nicotine patches? Also it increases your chances of giving up if you enlist the support of a specially trained nurse, you will be more likely to quit successfully. Sorry to give you bad news, but that's the way i see it. Sounds like the guy is much more important to you than the fags. Try to quit, and good luck!
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Since quitting smoking would be good for you alone, and good for you together, I suggest you should quit. According to everything I have read, smokers start to show improvement medically with in weeks of quitting. The reports also emphasize how hard it is. About one-half of all smokers who try to quit report success by the end of their first year. You will need all the help you can get. Start with the report below, consult your doctor, and be prepared for the fight of your life. http://www.cancer.org/docroot/PED/content/PED_10_13X_Guide_for_Quitting_Smoking.asp
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Smoking IS hard, but it's possible. You just have to decide which you want more- and if you REALLY, TRULY do want to be with your boyfriend, quit. It's going to be REALLY hard. I smoked for 8 years- starting when I was 11. It took crying and my boyfriend to literally LAY on me so I couldn't get up, and then holding me while I cried to get over it. I know that it's REALLY tough. But it's possible. It's been about 2 years now, and I've smoked the occasional cigarette now and then but it's always really gross and it reminds me of why I quit. You just have to decide what you're willing to do.
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You need to fiugre out what is more important to you. Your smoking habit or your boyfriend. And don't think he doesnt' care enough for you to ignore this one bad habit of yours. He may be giving you this ultimatum so you WILL stop smoking. If I loved someone and wanted them to be around for a long time, I would want them to stop, too. I know it's hard but it is possible and you will feel so much better if you do. And if he doesn't' work out, you will still have the benefits of him having encouraged you to quit. A wonderful lasting legacy or the start of a wonderful relationship.
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You have to quit smoking. It's hard to do but not impossible. A lot of people have done it successfully, including me. I was a chain smoker for years. There are a lot of different programs now that will help you to quite. I suggest you check them all out. http://www.cancer.org/docroot/PED/content/PED_10_13X_Guide_for_Quitting_Smoking.asp Good luck.
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If you want to quit smoking.. wonderful.. I really cannot advise you on the personal matter because I am not sure what to think. I see both sides. The only thing is.. your side is of a negative habit. My dad quite smoking after fifty years. Can you imagine having a habit for fifty years and quitting? The damage was done however and he has three major blockages that have most definitely harmed his health. Quitting is not easy and you really have to have it in your mind that you WILL quit. From my understanding, you will always want to smoke but it will get easier and easier to not crave it so bad you just HAVE to have it. You have to know that it will take strong will and dedication to yourself to turn away from something that has you hooked so strongly. Good luck in whatever you choose to do.. for you.. not anyone else.
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I smoke. I've smoked for years. I do know that you can stop for love because I stopped smoking as soon as I knew that my wife was expecting our first child and didn't start again until our second child was 6. The most stupid thing I did in my life was to start again.
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Don't put either of you through any more crap. Let him go while you're working on quitting. After you've been free for a significant period, e.g. 6-12 months, then call him up to see if there's any spark left. If you stay together while you're trying to quit, you will end up hating each other without redemption.
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Mark Twain said, "Quitting smoking is easy. I've done it a thousand times." Maybe you've tried to quit too. Why is quitting and staying quit hard for so many people? The answer is nicotine.
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You know the answer is you have to quit... you don't like the answer, but you know you must. As has been said over and over... I smoked for years, and quit about 17 years ago. I still crave cig's now and again... once in a blue moon (maybe every five years) I have snuck a drag... and it is awful... even though I KNOW it is awful, I still crave them. I miss the drama of smoking. I miss that breakfast-of-champions (a smoke and a coffee). I miss that cig at the bar... BUT, I will never start again. (Oh, and I have chronic asthma, thank you very much Phillips-Morris)
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If you don't want to lose your boyfriend and at the same time, you are finding it difficult to quit smoking, then here are a few suggestions that might help you to quit smoking. Write down on a paper the ways to quit smoking, and stick it up on the wall in your bedroom. Let it be an inspiration for you to quit smoking. Browse the net and read stories about people who have damaged their life by smoking. Remember smoking just not affects you, but also the people around you. And lastly found an interesting article in koonji site, on how to quit smoking, suggest you read it, here's the link for it. http://www.koonji.com/showKoonji.htm?koonjiId=873
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Quit and then tell him to go to hell.
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I also smoke and have a similar problem. ALthough the man I am with doesn't ever ask me to quit; his mother asks him every time she talks to him if I have quit yet. She also tells me I am a bad person because I smoke. Quite frankly, being a smoker these days is the worst kind of prejudism out there and unfortunatley the only kind that doesn't get any minority attention. My advice is to look beyond the habit and understand that I person must love you for who you are. Smoking isn't WHO you are, just a bad habit you've picked up along the way. Other people pick up such bad habits as lying or cheating....
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You both have free will. He doesn't want to be with someone that smokes, and you choose to smoke. Either you walk away, or one of you changes.
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There are many therapies available to you. Have you tried the nicotine patches that step your body down gradually? I wouldn't even date a smoker at all. Kissing you must have been like licking an ashtray.
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if your love for your BF was that strong, you'd be able to stop smoking without a doubt.
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I have to agree with rdrainer. He is attempting to control the relationship and control you in his desire to have you be what he wants you to be - a non-smoker. Now having said that, my suggestion is hypnosis accompanied by a TRUE DESIRE to quit. Not for him, but for yourself. If you don't really want to quit smoking, but are only doing it to appease him and maintain your relationship, there will be consequences. If you want to both quit smoking and keep him, break up with him for a while, get your habit under control and then see where the relationship is in a few months. Good luck! Contact me you if need a pep talk on the quitting. I underwent hypnosis 14 years ago and have never smoked again - mostly because I like being a non-smoker but also because I ain't all about giving big tobacco all my hard-earned cash!!
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If he really loved you, he wouldnt care wheter you were a smoker or not. Find someone who accepts you for who you are.
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What or who do you love more? Your boyfriend or smoking? I will not date a smoke either, and my ex quit for me. She knew she had to quit, smoking sucks, and it was much easier to do if I supported her. Don't listen to people when they say "find a new boyfriend because he should accept you for who you are". You are not a smoker, thats not who YOU are! It's a habit you chose and if you want to kick it out of your life you can. You've got more to gain than to lose from quiting. Good luck
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So what if you DID quit for him and he says there's something else you need to change for him? Does he have a trait or habit YOU detest that he's willing to give up for you?
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So what if you DID quit for him and he says there's something else you need to change for him? Does he have a trait or habit YOU detest that he's willing to give up for you?
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So what if you DID quit for him and he says there's something else you need to change for him? Does he have a trait or habit YOU detest that he's willing to give up for you?
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One thing I don't understand: Did you smoke when he became your boyfriend? Did you promise him you would quit? I would want to be with someone who loved me for me, smoke rings and all. Some people like or need the additional pressure and support to quit smoking but YOU have to honestly want to quit. If you are at that point here is a great resource: http://www.surgeongeneral.gov/tobacco/consquits.htm Good luck whichever route you choose!
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Did you start smoking after you got together? If so I can sort of understand that but then I doubt it'd be so hard to quit. If you were a smoker before you got together he's just giving you a lame excuse for why he wants to break up...he knew you were a smoker then and it didn't seem to bother him when he wanted to get into your panties.
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I couldn't be with a woman who smokes. I can't stand the odor, sometimes I am allergic to it, I can smell it in the curtains, in the carpet, in her clothing, on her body, and in her mouth. Smoking would be a dealbreaker for me. Sorry.
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find a b/f who smokes as well
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My brother was faced with this dilema but his love conquered his feelings of his wife being a smoker. I only wish your BF could of done the same for you. Good luck.
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if you love him that much, you will find it in you to quit
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No matter what happens, even if u lose him, try to quit smoking, it does nothing good for u. Smoking is 100% evil and absolutely NO good can come of it, quit while u can. Maybe if u try your very best, u can quit and get him back. I give u my best of wishes, good luck.
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You can only quit for yourself. You have to love yourself and want good health enough for yourself. Sure, quitting smoking is hard - nicotine addiction is real - it is both physiological and psychological (physical and mental). But LOTS of people DO successfully quit - you just have to want it badly enough, be smart about and and KEEP TRYING. If he is worth having - he will support you in your efforts. Either way, if you quit and you get him back or lose him forever, you will still have the satisfaction and good benefits of not smoking anymore - for *yourself*.
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Quit for your own health's sake, then, tell him to take a very long walk down a very short pier because you cannot stand to date anyone so shallow, and shouldn't.
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Boyfriend aside, don't short change yourself you're stronger than that! Don't let smoking kick your butt. Try as many times as it takes!
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just quit smoking if you dont want to lose him
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