ANSWERS: 23
  • That's happened to me. Two years ago I had twice as many friends as I do now. They've all just gone different ways and are doing different things. I think its just inevitable as you grow older and start becoming busy with children and spouses. Anyway, I actually only have two friends left from school. One from middle school and one from high school.
  • I call them fair weather friends, here today and gone tomorrow, i have a select few that i have known for years and thats all i want and need! as you grow older the friends you have from school and yourself change so much that what you did have in common years ago would almost certainly have changed now :)
  • Let's see...I still talk to two people from high school and three from college. One person (my "cousin") checks in on me from time to time...we've been friends since we were about four....I think everyone else kinda dropped off because I can't do the club scene anymore. I'm married with a kid and take that seriously, and most people my age don't "get" that.
  • Its the way of life, our lives change and we focus more on other things then friendships (Spouse, Children, Work, School, Just living). Adult friendships are different then child ones. With kids its some one they can hang out and play with. As adults its more a social thing getting together and talking about life, the experiences even childhood memories.
  • I guess there are people we know and then there are friends. As you get older most peoples values also change, not all. You learn that life isn't one big party (I know i hated that too):) Some of the kids i went to school with still do the same old stuff. I think if you have 1 really truely good friend you have been blessed.
  • None. But then you make new friends in college and in jobs you have throughout your life. I graduated college 4 years ago and I'm still in contact with a few of my old college friends and old coworkers. :)
  • I still have 1 but like you where I've became a mom & she didn't & got married & she didn't we don't stay in close contact any more. I still refer to her as my best friend though & would do anything for her at the drop of a hat but things change over the years & I never had time to be irresponsible raising a baby & the party scene with a hubby is just asking for trouble in your marriage to me so I don't get to go out with her anymore.
  • Ultimately, very few. I don't think you are alone in that respect. I am 38, but when I was 31 I had my first child and had been married for three years. Forget the happy hour thing, weekends away, I just moved on to other things. But those things are good things. Raising kids is very difficult (I now have three)and most of my friends from high school are busy with family and career. It is just so hard to stay in touch. My single friends? They are still living much the same way as they did at 23 or 25, going to bars, trying to pick up girls. I am not knocking that, whatever makes you happy. But they don't want to hang out with me anymore and hear about my kid's preschool activities, any more than I care to hear about some hot girls they picked up who were on vacation here in New York from New Zealand or whatever. The friends I kept are the ones that share the same place in our lives. I think if you have even two or three good friends that you have kept in-touch with (even if it is once every two months), you are fortunate.
  • None from grade school. Mostly because I moved a few times since then. Only a couple from high school. I've moevd out of state and so have some of my friends.
  • Well you have one thing going for you! I R responsible too.
  • Everyone grows (or doesn't grow) at their own pace. I didn't have a child until I was 34 years old, and wasn't married until I was 36. So, I lived for myself, basically. We have a lifetime to learn our lessons, and some catch on later than others. That's okay, too. I just keep working on myself and try to choose my friends wiser than I did in high school.
  • I am ten years your junior and I have the same problem. Almost all of my friends from grade school are so into drugs and the street life and they think I am a 'traitor' for joining the military and getting out of our bad neighborhood. It's very sad.
  • Not necessarily. I left grade school and high school with no friends. Now I have a couple so things are looking up
  • thats life. the only friends i have left from school are the ones that i work with. and that aint many. had i not moved cities then maybe i might still be in touch with a few of old friends but with everything thats happened now i wouldnt change the way things are. i feel i have better friends now anyway.
  • You're not alone. At 53, I have 1 from grade school and neighborhood, a couple from high school, a couple from college, that I consider as friends, and that's about it... And we haven't seen each other for some time, but do email and mail occasionally. It happens to everyone. Not only do some remain irresponsible for a while, but some move away, some become parents and busy with their kids, some get married, and some just throw themselves into their jobs, so it's hard to get together with them. Some are also the type that YOU have to call, and will seldom call you. Don't feel alone in this. Looking back, it always throws me into nostalgic melancholy. And, there are many times I wonder where everyone's gone. I'm also sure it's been going on for a LONG time... Why else would we require reunions - both house and family. Many times, it's just to keep up with everyone. When it drops from every couple of months, to bi-yearly, to yearly to ... (HS are every 5 years or so, IF someone sets it up). Most people are just too busy, and it's really a shame. Friends are GOOD to have at any stage in life, and those who know you best are usually those who've known you longest.
  • i think people are so busy living their lives that they just lose touch with each other.friendships have to be worked on, you can't take them for granted. but things do happen. people grow in different ways, sometimes apart, that's just the way life is.
  • You are changing, and so your friends will too. There is a saying: "Show me the friend and I'll show you the man" (or woman in my case) I'm in my 40's and I have ONE friend from High School I still keep in contact with-because our kids are the same age and he is in the same field as my husband. My other friends NOW are parents with the same convictions & goals. I don't miss the old friends- we just don't have anything in common anymore.
  • Sounds like you changed (having kids will do that) and your friends didn't. You think of them as being irresponsible and party people and they probably think of you as stick in the mud and boring. I had two close friends in high school... they got married right out of high school and had kids... I was still the party person. Several years ago we met up at a reunion and we are now good friends again and are always there for each other.. I wouldn't lose these friends again for anything, we just went through a phase where we were in different places.. we never disliked each other, our lives were just pulling us in different directions and led right back to where we started. LOL.. I'm thankful for them and when we go out we laugh just like we did back when and probably annoy everyone else in the restaurant who are probably thinking how irrespoinsible we are.
  • Everyone changes so much since high school...Thank God...for those who are still stuck...they are growing at their own pace....because they don't want to have children and settle down doesn't necessarily mean they haven't changed...they just haven't taken the same path as you have....
  • I don't have contact with anyone realworld outside my family unless they are already there. my only currently active friends are current coworkers and internet friends. never been big on keeping bonds.
  • You should start making new friends. Do you work outside the home? Or does your husband? Invite someone from work to have a drink or some Bar-B-Q. Invite several couples for a birthday or holiday eat out at your house. Maybe some new friendships will be found. Join a libray book club or invite a neighbor to go food shoping with you to save on gas. There are a lot of lonely people and they all need new friends.
  • I am 35 and have three kids. I do not speak with anyone that I knew in high school or grade school, though my husband (39) has a couple of friends from grade school and one friend from high school that he still speaks with occasionally. The friend from high school never really grew up and the friends from grade school seem to be about where we are in life. When you are in school, there are more opportunities for socilization with people who are sharing the same life experiences. When you get older and have kids, your life experiences naturally deviate from those of your peers, making it difficult to find things in common to share. Look for groups of people that are already accessable to you. People in these groups are more likely to have similar life experiences as you do and you are more likely to be able to create friendships with people who you have more in common with. Your other friends may catch up to you at some point, so don't loose contact. Don't put your life on hold waiting either.
  • i dont have a lot of friends either

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