ANSWERS: 23
  • Oh lord I have been in the same situation...o wait I am now!!! It used to bother me when we was in our early days of being together but now it dont bother me one bit. I am more secure after 3 yrs. Hell I catch myself looking at other men all the time. Dont worry bout it he wont act on it.
  • Well I would ask him why and tell him how it makes you feel. He can control it, I find myself looking a other women some times but then my thoughts go quickly to my girlfriend. I like it that way because she is always on my mind even when we are not together.
  • yeh hey this happens to me too me and my bf have been together for 6 months and i guess it doesnt stop anytime soon i am not sure what to do either and we also talk about being together forever so thanks for the question but as what to do i dont know.
  • He is disrespecting you. You can tell yourself all kinds of excuses why it doesn't matter. But it is a blatant disrespect. Is the other woman ever aware of his looks? Then she is also aware that he is disrespecting you. I'm not that good looking, but waitressing when I was in college I've had men drool over me in front of their women and my thoughts were always that the man was a pig that didn't have much respect for his woman and the woman was a loser who didn't have much respect for herself. Everybody "looks", but the important thing is to do it in a way that doesn't disrespect anybody, especially your intimate partner. Looking is one thing, but giving out the message "Hey, I'm looking" is another thing. The message he should be giving you and the world is that he's glad to be with you.
  • Its' 100% Natural for guys to check out other women. It's also 100% natural for women to check out other men! It's not like once a relationship starts everyone else in the world stops being attractive! As long as you aren't acting on anything, you're not breaking any rules. I guess, unless you're religious. Then, I just can't help ya.
  • Hey you cant stop a man for looking at other woman (unless the guys gay). Its in a mans mind to look at other chicks its nothing to worry about.
  • Girl you have to realize that he is a man. Some are more discreat than others but it sounds like yours is not afraid to be so obvious. A man is going to look at beautiful women. That is their nature- remember they have a penis and somtimes that serves as a brain. Don't let this get to you. He is holding your hand, not chasing after hers. It is just a look- be confident and remember that he is with YOU for a reason- dont forget those reasons.
  • Men who blatantly look at other women while they are out with their girlfriend often do not understand how hurtful their actions are. This is a sore spot for more than one couple. In a lot of cases, women think men are held hostage to their hormones and just can’t help looking at other women. Men think that if they are only “looking”, no harm is done. Some women do not find this behavior offensive; some women get their feelings hurt but don’t do anything about it; and some women complain about it, but nothing changes. So what can you do if your favorite guy has laser eyes—and they aren’t on you? · Tell him what you have noticed and how it makes you feel. Tell your guy that he can do whatever he wants but if he’d like you in his life, he will have to alter his behavior. · Explain to him that what he is doing is insensitive to you. · After you tell him, notice if he continues the same behavior, or if he is more caring and aware than he was before. · If his actions change, let him know that you noticed and you appreciate it. If you continue to date someone who stares, ogles, or leers at other women while he is with you, ask yourself the following questions: 1. Why would you allow yourself to be with someone who acts in ways that diminish you? 2. What keeps you from speaking up? 3. What other areas in your life do you let people treat you like you are not there and your feelings don’t matter? I think you can trust your reaction to your boyfriend’s staring, which is, you don’t want to be there. That is a healthy response to what is probably unconscious behavior on his part. If you think you could like this guy, sit him down, remove all distractions like cell phones and TV, and try once more to tell him how you feel. You must let him know that he is pushing you away and that soon, you may not be there. Don’t use words that will confuse him, in an effort to be nice. You need him to understand what you are saying. Sometimes, guys don’t get it until it is too late. You deserve someone who is kind, attentive, and caring. This is a perfect time to let him and the world know, the only girl you want your guy looking at—is you.
  • This is totally normal. Ive been with my bf for almsot 5 years now and he still gawks at hot chicks. We talk about our future as well, I think its totally natural for your bf to be looking at other girls, on the other hand, if he was checking out other guys THEN you would have something to worry about. If your not comfortable with this, let him know. Or you can try what I do with my bf; he points out the hot girl and we both check her out. :)
  • I think to look at other women is probably normal..to be so blatantly obvious about it is rude..Tell him to tone it down...
  • Lookit what I said over there: http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/1347001 My husband and I have been together for 3 years, and we check out girls together, lol...he points it out when he's looking at another girl, and I say, "yeah, that is a pretty sweet butt," and he says "but yours is better." We make a joke out of it because we pretty much both know he is GOING to look at other women...it's just what men do. If you let it bug you, it's gonna kill you because you probably won't ever be able to get him to stop. Just remember that you're the one he comes home to at night, not the girl he looked at while you were at the mall with him. Trust him :)
  • If you don't let it bother you, it won't bother you. This fear is a figment of your mind. The universe will remain in balance either way.
  • You know what? We look at women too with all of our Vogue and Glamour magazines! Women are interesting. They put a lot into their appearance. I always loved dressing up and everything. Women also WANT to be looked at. They do their best to look presentable and enjoy this attention for the most part. Women are THE human art pieces of our society...that is why I like to be female because there is so much I can do with hair and shoes etc. Not that men can't. I love putting together an outfit that people might enjoy. I am an artist too so its fun.
  • Well its a guy thing & its easy to turn us on, if he dont look at women something must have mess up his drive. When guys dont look at women its because of pain or anger, anything else. So don't get on him about it alot or he's going feel like you going nab of everything. Some men scare to get marry because they feel they going be on lock down.
  • If you are insecure in your relationship, it will bother you MUCH more than if you are not. Believe me. THAT said: Guys look PERIOD. If a woman tells him he should not, he will try not to be so blatant about it, but he will still look. If he is talking about the future together with you, you have his heart. To be honest, my first wife was insecure for a while, too. Then she started noticing that any one I looked at WAS pretty or "showing more than they should". She'd actually point some of them out to me. She WAS insecure, though... While not a light-weight, she'd see a VERY heavy girl (almost round, if you know what I mean), and say "Do I look that heavy?") I'd look and be as honest as I could without EVER saying "Yes" (if she did)... "Maybe... But you have the right shape and she doesn't". Usually, though, I didn't HAVE to say that... It would be a flat out "No... Why do you think you look THAT heavy." To be sure, because it bothered her, I didn't look as blatantly as I did before... I developed a way to "sneak-look" in my peripheral vision, or a quicker glance to see the other girl. The only girls I LOOKED at (no stare, just a couple of seconds) had boyfriends/husbands, or the ones SHE pointed out. (Hmm... Just dawned on me she may have started pointing them out, so I wouldn't FIND them myself, and then would feel a bit GUILTY for looking! LOL.) The "wandering eye" they portray in TV and movies IS real for SOME men. These are the ones who would jump a woman's bones, though the men (or the woman) was married, had kids, and/or was walking with a boyfriend/husband. I'd call them "Letches". These aren't the guys happy with just looking. These are ALSO what women tend to think of when men they are with OBVIOUSLY are looking at other girls. One of my old ex-bosses was a stare-er, especially when his wife wasn't around. He'd even make remarks to the guys who worked for him. I called him on it once, pointing out that he was married and had a kid. His reply was "Just because you're on a diet, don't mean you can't look at the menu." (Take that as a "look but don't touch"-type of phrase.) He WAS a little sleaze-ball, but that line HAS and DOES make sense and has stuck in my head for 20+ years. Wouldn't you rather KNOW he was looking? Wouldn't you rather KNOW that no matter who he sees, YOU go home with him? When YOU are in public, can you TRULY say you don't notice any other guy (or girl, for that matter)? Well... If YOU can look, why can't he? All THAT said, if it bothers you that much, start staring at good-looking guys the same way he stares at girls. When he says something (and I'm sure he will), say "What's good for the gander is good for the goose." Or, if he stares at other women (longer than say... 5 seconds... "bump" him and ask him "What's she got that I ain't got?" If he says anything other than the platitudes you want to hear (eg: "How 'bout a shape?"...), then you have to decide if you want a guy that would say such a thing to you. If it's more ("Nothing... She's just pretty, that's all" or "Nothing... But did you see what she was WEARING?") then he's most-likely yours. Maybe he'll catch on and be a bit better about it if you use one of those ways. ;-)
  • He has eyes doesn't he? They work don't they? Men look. They think about this also...it is what they actually do about it that is important. nIf your man is not doing anything about it then don't worry about it. If he is talking about a future with you then accept it is you he wants to be with. Or would you rather that he looked behind your back - that would probably worry you more and he may think 'what the heck if she is always thinking I am doing it then I'll give her something to worry about'. Your choice honey, either you trust him or you don't. If you don't trust him - then let him go and find another.
  • well, this all depends really. sometimes i find myself looking at other women besides my wife. sometimes i catch her looking at other guys. its something most people do. don't get too offended hun. i know its not easy. but everything will be ok
  • This is perfectly normal. Don't you also notice some cute guys once in a while? I'll bet your first thought is not to run off and spend the rest of your life with them! If there is anything to worry about in a relationship, it is usually not the girls that get glanced at, it is more likely to be someone that he sees on a regular basis like at work or at school. Someone that he takes for granted. And maybe there will never be such a person in his life, so give him some trust until you see more obvious signs that just a glance. If you walked in and found him having lunch with someone, that would be a better reason to be concerned!
  • It is completely normal. I wouldnt worry about it one bit. My husband does it, and it never bothers me. Of course I was raised in a house where my dad not only looked at everything that walked by but, flirted with it to. It was just playful fun for him for the first 20 years of their marrige. It is only a big deal unless you make it one
  • It should show you he at least isnt gay!
  • We can't help it. As long as he's only underessing them with his eyes, you just gotta live with it and don't worry about it.
  • maybe you should talk about your future apart if hes doing that
  • It is about respect. Respect the one you're with as they say. Don't get me wrong, we all see people that catch our eye. But we don't stare.

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