ANSWERS: 59
  • This is your decision, not your mother's. And although you may want to please her, the baby will be your responsibility. If you feel that you are ready to have a child, then I say go through with it. It will be difficult, especially since you are in college, but having a child is an amazing gift. You could also give the baby up for adoption if you feel you aren't ready to take care of it.
  • You are old enough to decide for yourself. Don't hesitate to seek help. Get your friends and other family members to help you. If you do it to make her happy you absolutely will regret that decision. You can have the baby and stay in school if that is what you want. It will be harder but not impossible. You can also have the baby and give it up. There are all kinds of adoption these days, you can even have contact with the new parents and your child if that is what you want. Abortion is not your only option. But, ultimately it is your decision. Don't let anyone pressure you no matter what you decide. I'll pray for you and your family. I hope your mother helps you no matter your eventual decision.
  • My grandmother did the same thing to my mom. To this day they still fight about it. Do what feels right for you and don't let her try and run your life. I wish you the best.
  • You need to do some serious searching. Realistic searching of what is best for you. Don't romanticize any of your options..not having the baby and keeping it (you life will change..and it is possible that you will not be able to finish college..I never did because my son was born with chronic health problems)...not having the baby and giving it up for adoption (if it is a closed one you will never know if that child is being abused..is in pain..is sick...is dying...is dead..if it is an open adoption then you will have to accept seeing your child but having no say in anything to do with that child..no matter how much you disagree...even if the adoptive parents decide to move to africa and join a cult..personally I could never give a child up for adoption...)...or abortion, because an abortion does not mean the pregnancy never happened... do some research.. a good site for pure information with no agenda is: http://www.guttmacher.org/ also check out http://www.religioustolerance.org/abortion.htm to see differnt beliefs concerning abortion... above all do not let anyone guilt or pressure you into either having an abortion, having the baby, or giving the baby up for adoption. You are the only one who can decide what is right for you.
  • You are in a difficult but not impossible situation. You could most certainly go through college with a child, probably at a slightly slower pace but still succeed. You are of an age when you are able to decide this for yourself. It is however easier if you have family on side. So far this pregnancy is not a grandchild, at least not one that is in a cuddly babygro, smelling of soap and looking rosy and beautiful, it is, to your mom, the idea of a child in your life, just and idea. She isn't pregnant so it's hard for her to feel physically connected to it. She is probably feeling strongly for the only child she sees and that is you. You know you are not a child now but you will always be her child. She is undoubtedly concerned that your life will come to a stop, that your future will be ruined. If you want the baby you must sit and talk with your mom. Tell her you love her, tell her you need her. Explain that you know it will be difficult but that she bought up a determined daughter and you feel that, with support you can still achieve all your goals. She is worried for you, that's all. If you don't want to keep the baby it's important that you think carefully about that too. You can't change either decision once you've made them. They are both with you for the rest of your life. I don't envy your position but I know you can make something good out of your life which ever path you travel.
  • As a mother I can understand her need to "save" you from a "mistake" you may have made. But, as the adult you are, YOU are the one to make the decision. Not her. I do not know your situation, but try not to judge her too critically, unless she's too adamant about it. I'm hoping she's just offering you an option, not a directive. I don't know how far along you are, but you should see an OBGYN ASAP and go for a counseling appointment. They can explain what's involved and ALL options open to you, and they're not necessarily an abortion. I'm sorry you're in this situation & I hope you can make the best decision for YOU. Good luck.
  • It's not her choice, it's yours, your trying to pass the buck to justify getting one. I wish I could offer you more consoling words.
  • do what feels real to you.
  • See, this is what can happen when you have sex. Don't jump into a sexual relationship if you are not prepared to deal with what might result. If you delay sex until you are married, you are better equipped. This is for everyone out there that thinks being a virgin is so awful. Sorry, I can't advise you about your unplanned pregnancy, it's your personal business.
  • Your decision to have a baby or not have a baby is just that…your decision. Don’t let someone make it for you. If you get rid of it like your mom wants, that is it for her. You are the one that will have live with what ever comes or doesn’t come from doing it. Go to Planned Parenthood they should be able to give you some guidance. Good Luck!
  • I have to agree with one of the others and say that you should not have an abortion to make your mom happy. This is a very important decision but it is yours and the fathers. I have to disagree with another in where something good could come out of either path.. I really do not see one thing that comes out of an abortion and this is my very strong opinion!! I think the emotional damage to the mother can be horrific. This experience of mine may help you a little.. I got pregnant while in college. I only missed the quarter that I had my son. I went back when he was three months. He is great and I could not imagine my life without him. The only hard part for me was having someone keep him while I was in school. This is an issue for any new parent but you always have daycare. I wish you well.
  • That should be your choice. Either way, you are the one who will have to live with your decision...regardless of your feelings on the subject.
  • You need to do what's right for you. And it sounds like an abortion is not what you want or it would be a nonissue. The first thing you ned to do is see a doctor to discuss your options. And not Planned Parent hood. From what I hear from the girls I know who go there as soon as you walk in preganant they try to talk you into an abortion. I'm talking an independtly practicing doctor. They have no agenda either way and will help you unbiasedly. You also need to get a hold of a pregnancy couciler who specializes in girls in your situation. And contact the father. He should be in on this since he helped create this mess. If for nothing but finacial support. He owes you that much. And the last visit should be to a lawyer. He will set up the child support from the father to pay your medical expenses as well as any after the baby comes. Or set up an adoption if that's what you decide. And utimatly it's up to you. What follows are my opinons on your choices. If you keep the baby school will be harder, but you can still do it. It may take longer, but, oh well, that's life. Adoption is not this horror people make it out to be. Everyone wins in the end. The birth mother gets her life, the baby gets a happy stable home, and the birth parents get a dream answered. And you can have it so you pick the parents and get some contact if you want. With abortion you'll get guilt and remorse about what you did to that life in you. And that doesn't go away. But like I said these are just my opinons. I just want tell you good luck on what ever your choice. And there are people out there who will support and help you either way. Just don't be bullied into something you obviosly don't want to make someone else happy.It'll ruion you if you do. Go with your heart.
  • Its your child, at 18 you can decide for yourself what's right for you.
  • You are an adult. No one can make that kind of decision for you. This is someone's life here. You have to live with your choice for the rest of your life, think long and hard, the ball is in your court. Good luck!! I wish you the best in whatever decision you make. :)
  • It's your decision, not your mother's, and hearing parents tell their children that kind of thing always stuns me. I would recommend finding a family that would want to adopt it, because no matter what the people in Planned Parenthood tell you, abortion is *not* the safest medical procedure out there, because doctors can't really see what they're doing and a lot of doctors who perform abortions don't care, and a lot of people have psychological problems after going through with it. You don't seem like you're in a position to raise the child yourself (though only you know that), so do what's best for your baby and find a stable home for him.
  • i personally went through this same thing, except one grandmother was in favor and the other grandmother was not in favor of an abortion. i did what felt right. i did have that child but i have also aborted one since. think about your morals and what effect this may have on you for the short and long run. this is not anyone else's responsibility or life but your own. i know i made the right choice each time.
  • Your mother can not make that decision for you. She should not be putting pressure on you in either way. It's your life and the clidrens that you have to think of. I had my child I was barely 17 and I got my university degree. I know it can be done because I did it. I will not lie it was hard (especially since the father never was in the picture). You have to consider everything, but most importantly you have to think what is the best for the child: will be able to care for him emotionaly? will you be able to provide for him? Are you ready to give up your time and life for him? I have to stress that you have to make that decision on your own. Your mother has no say in this. If you decide to keep him and she makes you feel like she is disapointed ... you will have to make her know that she can not ever mention this to you again.
  • don't, you will never get over it.
  • Im 13 now, adn my mom had me at 18. She was also a fresman in college. As you can tell, she did not get an abortion. I, personaly, am so glad to be able to live a wonderful life and could never experience it if she had let me go. I know my friends would have lost alot (not to boast) if I never was. It was a true struggle for her to raise me and go to college while my dad was at work. He had to work 3 jobs. It wasnt a good time at all because when my dad was home, my mom would leave and there would be no growing relationship between my mom adn dad. My mom often says to me to wait till I am out of college till I do get pregnant, but she is so grateful she has me adn got through everrything. I must say, though, we arent doing well finacaily because my mom ended up quiting school adn never got a carerr. Same for my dad. So i guess what im trying to say is, If you do decide to give birth, take time to talk everything over with your mate about plans with a carreer, the primary caregiver, and whether or not YOU really feel this is right, Just remember, its not up to your mom.
  • You mentioned this as a child, so already you view it as a being. Thos that get abortions usually view such things as a pregnancy, not as a child. Don't let ANYBODY (espesially those on AB) bully you into continuing or not continuing this pregnancy. The choice is yours and yours alone. Good luck!
  • I think you should really think this through and not take into account what your mother wants. Just remember that ten years from now you can either have a child that is attending school and who you love and have the rest of your life, or you can look back and either regret your decision or think it was the right decision. A child is never a bad thing. I had a medical abortion at 20 weeks and would have given anything to of had a healthy baby that i could love. I find it best to picture you life ten years from now and that always helps me. Best of luck
  • my opinion would be that it is going to be very hard to have a child and finish school but it can be done u could also think about adoption or ask your mom if u d finish school and she helps you what she thinks of thatyou need to do what is best for the baby and you i wouldnt recommend an abortion but its your choice i just think shes trying to let u know how hard it is im 30 and i hav a 14 12 and 2 year old i had my to oldestwhen i was 16 and 18 im in nursing school now at 30 i should have done it along time ago good luck and get that education
  • You have to decide based on what is best for you and your baby. If you sat down and was really honest with yourself do you think you could financially, emotionally and physically handle being resposible for this child for the next 18 yrs at least. If you think you can do it. Wonderful! If you can't then you have two choices you can either give the baby up for adoption or have an abortion but no one can or should make that choice for you.
  • you must think about what is going to be best for the potential being you will potentially be bringing into this world. can you support this child? can you study and work and raise a baby on your own? or is the father willing to help out? think seriously and realistically. good luck.
  • You are 18. You can choose to have your child. It will take courage and the help of others. Your mother will come around. It sounds like this is what you want to do. Don't be afraid.
  • keep the baby, at least you can put it up for adoption, but don't end a life.
  • It is YOUR decision. You must live with it. Your mother cannot make it for you!! She will come around!!
  • I dont think that you should! You should either keep it or give it up for adoption there are so many people who can not have kids and would love to raise a child they adopted!
  • i think u sld have to talk to ur mother listen y she is asking u to abort and thn tell her y u dont wanna might be u like vt she say nd might she be on ur side as well
  • Don't MURDER (Abort)the child instead put it up for adoption. Or have the baby and raise it on your own. Maybe your mother will come to love her grandchild but I don't feel that she ever will since she asked you to MURDER her/him.
  • Don't let anyone make this decision for you. You're 18 so you are legally allowed to make your own decisions. It won't be easy raising a child but I'm sure that if you decide to keep the baby.. once your mom sees him/her.. she'll fall immediately in love and she'll be thankful that you made the decision to keep the baby and she'll help you along.
  • It looks like you don't want this abortion, am I right? Or at least are not sure about it. I think you should talk with a councelor that you would choose yourself about this issue. Take into account that in the worst case, your mother could refuse to support you sufficiently with your child. This would means eventually for you getting to work and probably stop your study. After you have hold some information about your possibilities, and you can see a way to keep your baby, try to convince your mother with those arguments.
  • I'm sitting on the other side of the fence here.... Our daughter (my stepdaughter) just informed us that she is pregnant, she is 18 and just started College... we truly want her to give the baby up.... either by aborting or adoption... we feel she will destroy her life, the baby's and the guy who is the dad's.... HELP
  • You can (a) have the baby and forget about the next 18 or so years of your life or, (b) have the abortion and get on with things.
  • I am thinking if you know for sure you dont wanna keep the baby that adoption is a much better option. There are millions of families who want babies but aren't able to conceive that would take great care of the child. I am PERSONALLY against abortion, but even so it is very risky. There are several things that could go wrong. And even if nothing goes wrong, there is extreme guilt and remorse afterwards, even if it doesnt kick in until years later.........And it also increases the risk for infertility if you do ever decide later that you want children. Your chances of getting pregnant then wouldnt be as good as if you hadn't had an abortion. I'm not trying to press my opinion on you. I know how hard a decision this is. I am just trying to give you all the facts I know so that maybe it would help you out. Whatever you decide, you have my support 100%!! Good Luck!!
  • Your mother has no say in your future happiness. If you do have the abortion whats to say in 10 years your looking at a friends baby and all you can think of is the child you could have had? If you need to im sure you can take a break from college during the baby's first few months. I am against abortion unless of course its absolutely nessesary, what i am against is women being told that they NEED to have an abortion. So do what you feel is best, not your mother, maybe talk to a close friend or relative, my point is the choice is yours and yours only. :)
  • well you are 18 and if you want ur child then you have to sit you're mom down and tell her that you are not quite sure of what you want to do and discuss whats right for you and ur unborn baby girl or boy but really say what feel is right and also pray about it and ask god for his directioning and his help for you to see whats right!! Just avoid doing the wrong thing because ur unborn does need somebody to support him or her regardless of what situration it is always a good thing to consider ur unborn child!!! and i hope that i helped you in this but do what you feel is right and let God guide you to make this decision and you wont feel babd about it because God guided you along the way to make it right for you and ur baby
  • If you don't want one, you don't have to get one. You're EIGHTEEN (or at least, were eighteen). You can make your own choices now.
  • I can completly relate to your situation, I'm 18 as well and was pressured by all kinds of people to have an abortion, including most of my family/friends. I was about 98% convinced that's what I wanted and when I went to the hospital they told me it was too late. Now today my little boy is 4 1/2 months old and I don't know how I ever got along without him. There is nothing as deep as to sit and think after how much different your life would be, how empty it would be without your precious little one. I'm not saying anything against abortion and the choice is completly up to you but just think ahead into the future on both sides of the fence. There is nothing more rewarding in life than being able to bring a sweet and innocent little baby into the world. Best of luck!
  • ok look am pregnant i had to abortions n the funny thing i wish i had a third with this one but now it was to late because i was scared n now i was stuck but now iam givin my daughter up for adoption abortion is not wrong n since ur so young it would be the wiser choice finish school n u can have a baby later in life please dont make the same mistakes i did please!!!!
  • I would definitely think long and hard about your options. I think your mom has your best interests in mind. But, ultimately it is your decision. A baby will change the entire course of your life and there's no going back. And, it doesn't sound like you are equipped to raise one right now, especially not without a lot of help. Good l uck.
  • Your old enough to make your own decisions! And your mother does not have the right to ask you to do that.Your mom isn't you. So you do what you want to do. I would tell my mom I'm keeping it. Because although your 18 your still an adult.Your mom can't make you do anything. She may not talk to you for a while but she'll come around.Just sit down tell your mom in a honorable way that you are gonna keep it and she may surprise you and she may not. But all you have to remember is your doing what is right and you will never regret that.Tell your mom you love her and you need her and ask her to stand by you during this. You are probably her world and she doesn't want to see you go through things that are rough. But life is rough but its great! Your mom can't make a decision like this for you its your choice even if you live with her. Just remain calm and do what you need to do to support your baby.I'm sorry your having this problem and remember you can do it and have a good life and it probably will turn out better than you ever expected. That baby deserves the best from you and your mom or anyone else around you and him/her. I hope you found you answer in here. God will help you through all this all you have to have is faith.
  • Please don't have an abortion just to please your mum. She probably is dead scared you won't get an education but once she gets over the shock, she will probably come around. Apart from the guilt you would feel if you aren't sure about having an abortion, you will feel lasting resentment for your mum and that is the last thing you want.
  • It is a choice that has nothing to do with her. If you want to keep it, keep it. It is your choice and only yours.
  • It is your baby and therefore your decision. by all means listen to the advise of your parents but don't let them make the decision. Your decision should be based on whether you feel you will be able to cope with bringing up a child. I believe that having children is the most wonderful thing and i don't think you will regret deciding to keep your child.
  • I say have your baby and ask your mother either you accept this baby as you grandchild or you don't see it. It your body don't get an abortion just because your mom wants you too.
  • Do what you feel is right, not what someone else tells you. Either way you will be the one to live with your decision, not someone else.
  • why does everyone talk about adoption like that wouldnt leave the biggest hole inside u??? how can u feel ur baby grow inside you give birth then give it up..... i could never do that and would never do that do what u want i know how u feel im in same situation im 20 and 7 weeks pregnant and very confused.. im on my own as my bf has fuked off and wants nuffin to do wit either me or the baby..give ur self a time limit and go with ur heart..thats what im doin i do think i will keep it but keep feelin different everyday...its a life changin desition u cant rush..
  • Visit www.prolife.com and do lots of research on abortion before making a choice. Adoption would be best for the baby and there are so many couples wanting to adopt there is a waiting list. people are waiting for a baby. you don't have to kill yours
  • i think that aborion is wrong and it should be illegal all around the world there are so mny different types of abortion like the PARTIAL BIRTH abortion (illegal in the united states)this is what happens...Intact D&X, or partial birth abortion first involves administration of medications to cause the cervix to dilate, usually over the course of several days. Next, the physician rotates the fetus to a footling breech position. The body of the fetus is then drawn out of the uterus feet first, until only the head remains inside the uterus. Then, the physician uses an instrument to puncture the base of the skull, which collapses the fetal head. Typically, the contents of the fetal head are then partially suctioned out, which results in the death of the fetus, and reduces the sizes of the fetal head enough to allow it to pass through the cervix. The dead and otherwise intact fetus is then removed from the woman's body. dont believe me go to healthline.com and type in partial birth abortions and click on the second link another form of abortion is MANUAL VACUUM. This procedure can be used up to 10 weeks after the last menstrual period (early first trimester). It is the only surgical abortion procedure available before 6 to 7 weeks of pregnancy. It involves the use of a specially designed syringe to apply suction. This method is not available everywhere, but it may be more available than machine aspiration in some geographic areas. another is MACINE VACUUM This procedure is the most common method used in the first 6 to 12 weeks (first trimester) of pregnancy. Machine vacuum aspiration involves the use of a hollow tube (cannula) that is attached by tubing to a bottle and a pump, which provides a gentle vacuum. The cannula is passed into the uterus, the pump is turned on, and the tissue is gently removed from the uterus. ABORTION IS WRONG!!!!!!!!!!! once that baby is concived once the sperm enters the egg that baby is alive that baby is feeding off of you that baby is taking your blood from the unblical cord and getting nutritents from what you eat you are responsible for it now im only 15 i havent had a baby yet but if i were to get pregnant before i was ready i would never never have an abortion if i had to that baby would go up for adoption but killing it is wrong if u murdered someone becasue i didnt like them or because you didnt want them in your life you would be put in jail well abortion is the same thing you are killing a humanbeing because u dont want it it was most likley you god damed falt that you got pregnant in the first place becsaue uhad unprotected sex maybe you should think next time yes somethimes people get raped or the condom breaks or the birth controll was faulty but thats still no reason to kill the baby here are some videos so that you can understand better watch the first one it explains soo much of what i havent APORTION IS WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Fuck your mom how could she be so heartless. Its your life and your baby. Do what you think is best for you. Don't murder your child because your mom is a bitch.
  • i don't think your mother's decision was a quick one. In fact, im sure she has agonized over it for years, except at that time it was a 'what if' situation. She wasnts what is best for you. and right now, your well being takes precidence over a yet unborn glob of cells.(i know that is a harsh description, but you have to look at things in black and white terms) in the end, it is your decision, so dont do something you arent completely comfortable with. keep in mind: your mother would never suggest anything that would hurt your future, you said you were in college so until now your life plan did not include a child, can you still accomplish what *you* want out of *your* life if you have this child? good luck
  • The choices YOU make are the ones you have to live with not your mom. You are an adult. She may think she is trying to help you out of a situation that she doesnt want to see you in right now. I agree that you should see a doctor and talk to him or her about it. It's your baby.
  • my mum did the same, she lied to me. Im 18, i had an abortion a few weeks ago. I was 16weeks. I had an abortion, and i feel like crap all the time, i miss the child. I miss the kicking and moving in my stomach. I wish I could go back, but I cant. Im in depression and on loads of pills to keep me straight. Dont listen to her. Do what you want to do, i wanted my baby but I listen to my mum, who I though I could trust. College will help you out. My university (im 1st year in uni) is abby friendly, they have to be, or its descrimination. PLEASE dont rush to abortion, you can put it up for adoption and all the birth costs (if your in the usa) get covered for you. So you dont lose anything. Yes it will be hard if you keep the child at 18, but its so rewarind at the end. College will always be there for you to go back to it. Your baby wont be. Please think carefully about this, and good luck. This link might be disturbing, but watch it.I used to be for abortion before i saw this video. http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=cjNo_0cW-ek
  • im in the exact same situation.....
  • I say do what your heart feels and don't abort it give the baby a chance at life and give it up for adoption there are many couples that can't have babies I am one of them and would love to adopt so instead of abort think adopt???
  • Although it is your choice... I can see why she would be saying that. She is thinking of you at this point not her grandchild. So your taking it alittle to deep when you say "get rid" of her grandchild because thats probalby not how she ment it. As far as thinking of you, your only 18 and it is going to be really hard on you and the baby while finishing school and starting a career. Trust me, I have 3 kids and I would not change it for the world. I love them to death. I was 19 when I had my first kid. Im now 30. He is 11. I could of provided such a better life for him if I would of waited. No abortion is not easy, I have had one too. But you got to do what you feel is best. Dont let anyone talk you into something you really dont want to do but your mother is just looking out for you. It is so hard. You just have no idea.And it depends on the father of the kid, are yall together and what is his goals in life.
  • Whatever decision you make, you will need to make it soon, because in some states there is a time limit for when you can get an abortion. I know it's easy to be governed by strong emotions in a crisis, but try to pick the option that's most feasible for you. For instance, if you want to keep the baby or adopt it out, you will need to seek financial and emotional support from someone other than your mom. If you're really intent on not aborting, you could try to find a couple that wants to adopt, as some adoptive parents will pay for the cost of the mother's hospital stay.

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