ANSWERS: 32
  • How about Mom? That is what you are to her. If you want to differentiate between yourself and her birth mother, maybe a variation on Mom, like Mommy, Momma, Madre, Mother, or....?
  • Well I agree with you, you aren't her mom and she is still so young. Your first name just makes it easy for her right now. You don't need a nick name afterall your not a dog and when she is 9 or 10 she will call you by your name anyways.
  • Mom, Maw, mother, whatever makes the two of you comfortable. It doesn't have to be a sign of disrespect to her birth mother. By calling you by your first name, it will beg the question in the future from her friends, why do you call your mom,XXXX? No point forcing her to have to explain her family situation to any more people than she feels she wants to know.
  • Perhaps a derivative of "Mum", or that word in a different language? ("Mama", "Morssan", "Eema"...) I think the decision really comes down to you - it relates to the relationship between you and your stepdaughter more than anyone one else, and she IS still an infant. Do you want her to call you something like "mother"?
  • Maybe Auntie ____?
  • The child will have to find a place for you. You are not Mommy, so your name will have to do for now. What does your hubby want her to call you, "Moms replacement"? I have 3 step children, raised them for the past 12 years, and most of the time, they still call me by my name. It's not a big deal. Labels are just that, labels, a means of identification. What you will be to her will have to be decided, by her, at a later date, based on how well she fits in this new picture of her family.
  • she should call you what she is most comfortable with. pushing a child to do otherwise isn't good. and what about her birth mother? what does she think about it?
  • The best would be to let her choose, because it may really depend on if she feels comfortable calling you mom, or prefers Your real name.
  • Create a nickname for her in case you don't have one and add "Mom", "Momma", "Mommy" to that nickname. If your name is Laura, her name for you could be "Mommy-aura"...or something very cute like that.
  • If she doesn't have a mother (she passed away) and you have full custody, I don't see why she couldn't just call you Mom. My niece has 2 stepsons; their mother is alive but a dead-beat and they rarely (maybe once a year) see her. The youngest calls her Mom, but when the bioMom found out they called her Mom she got angry so the elder one now just calls her by her name. I've had lot's of kids that weren't even steps that just practically lived in my house while they were growing up they were here so often and they still all call me Mama Nance. I don't know where it came from but I like it. Maybe she can call you Mama or Mom (whichever you prefer) and your name.
  • Maybe the Southern solution will work. Most Southerners (Southern US) call adults by their first names and use "Miss" or Mister" in front of it. When I visit my friend in Georgia, her children call me "Miss Lyn". It sounds more respectful than just "Lyn" coming from a child, so maybe that will satisfy your husband.
  • i think she should call you by your first name. married to your husband or not... the girl only has one real mom and its not you. whats she suppose to do refer to you as mrs.(last name here)? legal or not your not the kids mom and kids dont get wrapped up in legal terms. its no big deal. go by first name
  • There's nothing wrong to be called mama,mom,mommie,you married into the family and you should have the right to be called by your rightful name like above. If you feel alright with it though. You will be doing and giving care as the absent mom in your immediate family now. Only my opinion.
  • i had a step mother at age of 2 and called her Step Mom, she isnt married to my dad anymore but she is still my step mom and i love her. none of his other wives were called that because i was older when they were married.
  • I think she should be allowed to call you what she wants.I have a now 15 year old step son he has always called me by my name. But if were out and people ask who I am. I'm his step mom. He new from the start that I loved him but would never take the place of his real mom. So go with what ever makes her comfortable.She's only 2. She can always change what she wants to call you.
  • My 2-1/2yo step-granddaughter calls me by my first name. I don't know that she will her whole life, but if not, she could always call me Papa Bill or Poppy (what my cousin's kids call their grandfather). For you, when she's a bit older, maybe they could try to get her to call you "Auntie <first name/nickname>" or "Grandma <first name/nickname>". And, when she's even older she may come up with her own name for you. Let her call you by your first name until she can really talk. Then your husband should give her some options (as above), and ASK her what she would like to call you. (I remember my mother asking me at about 4 or 5 what I should call my grandmother on her side, to differentiate her from my grandmother on my father's side (Mamaw). I came up with Mom-mom (as in Mom's mom? LOL)
  • From prior experience, my daughter had a stepmother and she was forced to call her mom/mommy and to this day my daughter says she did not like the fact that they made her call her that, and it was confusing for my daughter as well. If she wants to call you by name then so be it, she must know her real mother and should call her mom/mommy unless her mother is deceased or no longer wants to be the mom that is.
  • Mrs. your-last-name-here. After hearing that for awhile, he might accept her using your first name.
  • 1st name i mean what else can she call you? mom=NO mrs.=too formal
  • I have step kids and they both call me by my first name, just always seemed natural. I am not their mother and therefore should not be called Mom, mommy, mama, etc. Sometimes when we are out or at their school and they introduces me they will say this is my mother...and sometime they will say stepmother. whatever is easier for them at that moment. But I am always Daisy when they speak to me. Furthermore, if my natural son had a stepmother I would not want him calling the other woman mom or any form of it. That to me is meant for the actual mother. If her and his father don't want him calling her by her first name than they can come up with something, anything else. Oh one more thing. I do feel that If the natural mother is out of the picture either due to death or she has walked out, than that is a different situation.
  • Aunt __________ till she is ready to call you mum.
  • mom.....
  • Well, I lived with my grandma all my life and its natural for me to call her "mom". It's nothing but just a way to identify them. I'm sure they will eventually grow into calling her "mom" because she will seem to them a motherly figure.
  • Mumsie doodle would be a good name.
  • if her bio-mom is still in the picture (visitation or something) then calling you mom to could be confusing for her, anyway sounds like the real problem is your husband. what does HE want her to call you? "Hey, You" or "mommy 2"?
  • Don't worry about it. My two step kids still call me by my name after more than three years. When speaking to others they refer to me as "Dad" since their biological father has never been in their lives. But when calling me or referring to me with someone that knows us they just say my name. Why would I sweat it? If she doesn't call you "Asshole" in the next few years you've done just fine. And if she DOES call you "Asshole" by her mid teens then you know you've succeeded! ;)
  • i think it might be better if it's discussed with her biological mom by the dad or by you if you're in good terms with her and come to an agreement. there's nothing wrong with having 2 mothers. in a different scenario a friend's younger brother got adopted by an aunt & uncle. the bro knows of this too so he has 2 sets of parents. biological parents = mama & papa adoptive parents = mommy & daddy i guess something similar could be done. even if you're not the real mother, as a stepMOTHER your are still a mom to the kid. more so if she lives with you. if not calling you 'mommy ----' or something similar would be good too.
  • mawmaw maymay mama (Name) like suzy so she'd call you mama suzy
  • Okay, so if your main concern about her calling you Mom/Mummy is out of respect for her natural Mother and your partner doesn't like the idea of small children addressing adults by their first name and auntie___ may raise a few eyebrows, then how about Mommy-Lyn or Mommy-Marie depending on what your actual name is and Mommy-Helen or Mommy-Sue (depending on what her natural mother's name is. The fact is this child has two Moms now. This can be confusing for a small child and this solution is a nice way for her to acknowledge you both and also differentiate between you. It is a pleasant compromise that should be acceptable for you, your husband, and your stepdaughters mother. It is cute enough for a two year old and then as she get's older either the Mommy- part or the -Lyn (as an example) part can drop off naturally depending on what feels right for the child.
  • think of a cute nickname she can call you
  • Mother
  • mother, mom, mama, mommy what is wrong with her having 2 moms. Both moms love the child and give her the happiness of two moms and no step anything. Just like there may be two dads at sometime. Then 4 loving parents make a child happy without mental problems caused by the parents.

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