ANSWERS: 30
  • I was... young. I don't quite remember what age. It really wasn't something I like to remember, considering the circumstances. As for young children... well, I don't think there's really an "appropriate" age for that. 'round teenage years, children are more capable of coping with it. Not so much when their younger than that. I speak with experience there.
  • Thirteen, for my brother. I think if it is immediate family such as a parent or sibling then any age, for anyone else then wait until they are in their teens, and let them decide.
  • 31. Strange how many relatives died before I was 5 years old and then no friends or relatives died until after I was 30. I really don't know what age is appropriate, I would think it depends on the child.
  • I was 14, for my granny. I'm not sure about an appropriate age. It really does depend.
  • I was 17, old enough to understand the solemnity of the occasion and how to behave appropriately. The funeral was my grandfather's and I loved him dearly. The hardest thing was not to weep, but I was a man and did my best. Looking back I am glad that I wasn't taken to funerals when I was younger; middle teens seems about right to me.
  • 14 for my great uncle my nan wanted me to go because i was a bridesmaid as his wedding. I think if a kids father dies you can't nt let them go. or if they were close to them. But don't if they themself don't wonna go. or if they wasn't that close. I don't think baby's should go tho or if there so young they don't understand
  • I was maybe 6 I loved my grandma so much and i remember her being really nice to me. I couldn't understand it by the time, but eventually i started missing her when trouble came along my life i wish i could have her now, she was my only grandma my other grandma dyed when my mom was 12 yrs old. and the Kids.. If you're willing to explain what's going on, it don't matter how soon you take em.
  • I was 16 when I went to my first funeral. It was for my grandmother. I think the appropriate age for a child to attend a wake and/or a funeral is when they are in there teens, and let it be their decision on if they want to go or not.
  • I was early twenties. It was for someone I hadn't known too well. For children, I would say whenever a person they care about dies is the right time. Life doesn't wait for you to be old enough to learn every lesson. Chidlren are much stronger than people think.
  • i was seven years old and it was my dad but even though it was my dad its still to young to go i was troumer tiessed
  • I was young enough to not remember clearly what age I was. A dear uncle died. I think the time for a child to attend their first funeral is when a close family member or friend dies. Kids are often more able to handle real life than the adults that try to shield them from it.
  • It depends on the child and the their closeness to the person who died. I went to my first funeral around the age of 16.
  • I think a child is old enough when they can responsbily handle the notion that the peoson isn't comming back. That said: I'm bot a big fan of people who use, funerals, weddings, concerts, sporting events, restaurants, etc. as day care centers because they're too inconsiderate/cheap to leave the kids at home.
  • I was about 12...for my brother-in-law. I think that age is appropriate. When they are younger, they don't really understand what is going on or might be afraid.
  • I was in my fourth grade when my grandfather died. Appropriate age depends more on if a child can behave themselves and doesn't have to constantyly be watched after. You don't want some kid running around, screaming or jumping up and down during the service.
  • My baby brother died when I was almost 4. It was my first wake. I think it's appropriate for any age to attend a wake. Death is a part of life and can't be hidden from them. It only makes it worse to leave them out. They need to confront the situation and have a chance to say goodbye. Otherwise, it becomes a fearful thing.
  • I was 20 years old and the person was a family friend. I think it depends on the child how old they should be before being allowed to attend a funeral. If they are old enough to show respect by sitting quietly then it doesn't matter what age they are they should be allowed to go.
  • i was 18. it was a friend of mine who got hit by a train. i dont like funerals and would strongly advise if its not a close relative or very close friend to not take children. my great grandma died when i was 8 and my mom wouldnt let me go to her funeral.
  • I was about 11 and it was my great grandmother that died. My son was 6 when my grandmother died and I took him, but he stayed out of the room most of the time...I think it could depend on the death as well, if it's something too sad like a child then I would leave him home.
  • The first funeral I ever attended was when I was 16 years old. It was for a friend's father, who was like a second father to me. I think it would be appropriate for a child at what age he is "mature" enough. My father passed away when my daughter was only 7. She knew he had passed away and I did not intend to bring her to the wake or the funeral; she begged to go because she loved him so. We took her to his wake. It was quite a large room with several other rooms extended where you couldn't actually see him. We did end up bringing her and she briefly said a prayer and then my husband brought her to the other rooms where she met with other family and friends to talk about him and his life. It didn't damage her in anyway and she always tells me she was glad she was able to say goodbye in her own way. I don't know that such a tender age would be appropriate for children of that age, but my child was never like a little kid! For some reason, she always seemed like a little adult.
  • I was 12 when my mother died and I spoke too.
  • For my grandmother who was killed by a drunken driver. I was 4 at the time when I attended her funeral.
  • 15, My mother's funeral.
  • My children were 3 and 5 when my father died. My Mum particularly wanted them there so I talked to them both in very basic terms and explained what would be happening and that Grandpa would be in a box etc. My Health Visitor thought it was a great idea to take them since she said that often they pick up that something is wrong and get excluded and don't know why. She also said that saying Grandpa has died to a young child is almost like saying "lunch is in 20 minutes" in other words they don't dwell on the words as an older child or adult does. As I would be sitting at the front of crematorium with my mother and siblings I arranged for the children to sit at the back with their other grandparents. It was fine and it helped my mother no end. Hope this helps you to decide for yourself what is appropriate.
  • 44 and never been to one (ie - no-one close to me has died). Is this unusual?
  • I was in my 30s before I attended a funeral for a friend who had died of cancer. I often think about how much I wanted to attend my great-grandfather's funeral when I was quite young, about 3 or 4 years old. Instead, it was all very hush- hush and hidden from me and my sisters. That made death scary instead a natural part of the process of living one's life out. I think that this changed me in ways I may not even realize now. My children were between 5 and 10 when they attended their first funerals. For each of them, it was for different people in their lives, but it was always for friends. I was unable to attend these funerals with them, but they did have a family member there for them. Probably the most difficult funerals were those that my son attended in high school. There was a rash of suicides and one suicide attempt among some boys he was in high school and Boy Scouts with. I believe that there were 6 who did commit suicide and, then, the one attempt. The attempted suicide was the last one. He lost an eye with that attempt. Those were horrid times. I think that a child as young as a newborn can attend a funeral appropriately. It is important to explain what has happened to a child in a context that they will understand at the age that they are at. A child should never be forced to attend a funeral, however. I think that that is the most important thing to keep in mind.
  • I was 6 when I attended my grandmother's funeral. I don't think there is any certain age that is appropriate or inappropriate. It's more about the maturity level of each individual child.
  • I am 70 years old and I can still recall the event: I was 32 months old. My Maternal Grandmother. I don't know what the "appropriate age" would be...it would depend on the child and the capacity of the parents and family to address the circumstances with the child. I know that it did not affect me negatively. For example, I have never feared death growing up, nor do I now. I recall sitting on the sofa of the funeral parlor, that the room where Grandmom laid in the casket glowed in a subdued pink, that there were lots of pretty flowers that gave the room a nice smell. Back in those days, family remained in the parlor all night with Grandmom, but I was taken to bed. I didn't go to the cemetary, however. I stayed back at the house with old Mrs. McCaulley, a good family friend, who made me vanilla pudding...I REALLY liked her. :-) That's it...end of true story. Next question! :-)
  • Summer job. Co-worker said her mom wakes her up every morning. A few days later, she came in late & said she didn't get the wake-up. She got the news by phone a few minutes later. We all went to the wake. I was 17.
  • I was very young. Before kindergarten. 4 perhaps? It was an old woman from church that helped with Sunday School. I don't think there is such a thing as too young for a funeral. Unless the kid will be disruptive to the service.

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