ANSWERS: 41
  • this girl that i know only knows people from when i was in 10th grade so really what could I have done that was THAT bad that would still hold weight today? MMMM, I suspect they are lies
  • i think shes just playing you to see what personal info of yours she get get out of you. dont answer it
  • I would respond, 'Well if you're willing to believe what you've heard without talking to me first, then I wish I never knew YOU....biatchhhh!'
  • you seem very truthful, you are candid and admit you have breast implants. i doubt you are a devil woman. we also know you dropped your boyfriend when ryan came along.. i think the jealous UPS guy has started rumors about you.
  • YOu can only control who you are and choose how to act with that in mind. What other people think is beyond your control and, quite frankly, none of your business. It is irrelevant and a waste of your energy to concern yourself with such gossip and drama.
  • Pfffft... if they are willing to believe things they hear without confirming them with you first, they weren't that good of a friend to begin with. And I would state that in a reply and get on with my life.
  • I'd sit down with the friend and discuss the situation. You can probably work it out one way or the other. If she's yanking your chain or actually has the goods on you leave a dead fish wrapped in a newspaper on her doormat.
  • If something like that ever happens, the first thing that would come to my mind is that probably my friend has received wrong information from someone who just wants to hurt me. I would talk to my friend to find out what is he or she talking about, what was said about me and where is it coming from. Then I will figure out what to do in order to set the record straight.
  • If she's throwing this in your face now, then she never was a real friend in the first place and isn't worth a second thought !
  • i would believe that they found out that the truth was hard to handle or they believed a lie or rumor... you decide
  • I probably would assume they are lies and wonder why this person e-mails a comment like that.I would get together with this person(don't e-mail them back) and question them about what they heard because I would be dying to know what was said.Then punch them right in the face for believing that bs-maybe not...
  • Sara I think it's probably either someone telling this friend lies about you because they have no life of their own and are jealous of you for some stupid reason or this so called friend is making it up to see if you are gonna spill some deep dark secret from your past to her. In either case I would not let it bother me too much. If this person was really a good friend they would not let whatever they supposedly know about you affect your friendship. Especially if this supposed secret is from your distant past. People will judge and assume shit no matter what you do or say so don't give em the satisfaction of knowing it bothers you. Look at me I have been accused of being a pervert and dirty old man because I recenty revealed in some comment threads here that I have some very strong heartfelt feelings for LeeLee and I happen to be twice her age. I know I am not a dirty old man or a pervert and I know what I feel in my heart for her has nothing to do with sex so I could care less what some assholes want to think about my feelings for her. Sara don't stress too much over this crap. In time if this friend did find out things about you she will either come to see how they don't really matter or she will allow them to affect your friendship. If she does the latter consider yourself lucky to have found out what a shallow self centered friend she really is. Sara just relax and don't stress over this.
  • Sara that's an awful thing for a friend to do. Any decent friend would have talked to you about whatever their issue was and at least given you a chance to speak on your own behalf. And no, i would not assume anything until i looked further into it.
  • I would want to know 2 things: What waas said? Who said it? Aside from that I must assume that at the least they were exaggerations and possibly lies.
  • Sounds hinky. Sounds like someone bitter about something and now trying to get leverage of some kind.
  • #1 What kind of friend would say this to you? #2 What kind of friend would say this to you in an email rather than face-to-face? #3 What kind of friend would not give you, his/her friend, the benefit of the doubt? #4 I don't think your good friend is a friend at all or at least is very immature. #5 Just dump them..you don't need negative people like this in your life.
  • I would think..You don't know me or I don't really know you. If finding out something about me that is true makes you feel this way about me, bye. If finding out something about me that makes you feel this way about me and it's a lie and this is how you react, bye.
  • That kind of email sounds like a mind game that someone in middle school would pull on another kid. If an adult pulled something like that, I would wonder how many drinks that person had before they would pull a mean-spirited stunt like that on somebody else.:(
  • I'd assume that some crazed woman was getting too excited for the next Batman movie and assumed that I, in fact, was a super villain. Were you a super-villain, Sara? Otherwise she's just a drama queen.
  • If it were a friend of mine, I would tell them to go F off. No real friend would be so quick to judge, regardless of the thing he/she found...
  • If in fact the e-mails is stating lies, then your good friend really wasn't a good friend. Most good friends would know what is a lie and what isn't and are not easily persuaded by rumors either.
  • My past has haunted me more than a ghost from Scooby-Doo. as long as it doesn't affect my gf or family, I don't care.
  • if nothing springs to mind immediately, yes, i'd assume they were lies. however, if you have an inkling about something you wouldn't want this friend to know, even if you think it's impossible he/she would, find out. no secret is totally secret if anyone besides you knows about it.
  • Anyone who would end a "good friendship" over anything that they "heard" is not a good friend in the first place. A "good friend" could and should ask you about the allegations, and, if YOU are lying about them, should be able to tell, and would most-likely call you on the lie. Personally, I would want to know what she "found out". I don't really care from whom, but what is important to me. (Actually, I DO want to know from whom, but it would be MUCH easier to get the what than the who.) I had it happen to me when I lost my first GF. (Story is elsewhere in another answer.) Lost a WHOLE group of "friends" because of those rumors. Only a few stayed as friends, because they cared to KNOW the real me. I wondered what had happened... Partially was that because of the break up, I wasn't interested in hanging around where she and her new BF would show up, part was that I grew up (and they didn't). Hell, I didn't even find out about those rumors until 2-3 years afterward. My friends, the ones who stayed, had heard them, but never told me. (Didn't bother me that they hadn't, but bothered me that there WERE rumors.) Again, REAL friends would 1) NOT believe lies, or 2) would ask YOU about them.
  • I've gone over most of the answers here and rapidly hit a wall. First of all, your question starts "You get an email from a good friend." Then you describe a situation where this "good friend" evidently finds some serious character flaw(s) with you which in turn troubles you. Many of the answers you've gotten point to how shallow that person must be or how you should basically tell them to get stuffed. But MY answer is a little different. In one of your own comments, you stated you ONLY knew this person from MySpace and she is married to your old HS b/f. So this person can't really be a "good" friend, only an "acquaintance" associated with an old b/f (whom you admitted you only talk to once a year or less anyway). So just drop it, and her, like a rock and move on. It just doesn't matter.
  • was it true
  • Sounds like a lie. You friend also sounds manipulative. Who would send an email like that? Sounds the same as one of my friends who said to me: "I've known you for 15 years, so I know WHY you do certain things". A friend would ask you about the things they found out, and wouldn't make a decision of how they feel about you based on the findings. Seems like your friend doesn't really know you after all.
  • Sara, those last three words tell me that this isn't some random hypothetical but a real situation you have been placed in. If I was in your situation, well I'd be very anxious. You can probably rest assured you're handling this situation better than I ever would. But I'm well known for giving the best advice I don't take myself, so let me try to help you here. First, you should not immediately assume that your good friend actually sent you that e-mail. A friend of his/hers (who is not one of yours) or perhaps their significant other could have hijacked their e-mail account. Oftentimes this is very easy to do. This also could be a virus of some sort. I did a search and couldn't find anything like it, but I would put excerpts of the text into google and do a search if you're curious about that. Second, if the e-mail is actually from this person, why the vagueness and the drama? Both uncalled for, especially citing hearsay evidence. They obviously want to elicit your reaction. Don't give it to them. If they persist, tell them if they want to judge you based on the rumormill without even talking to you and don't want to seek to understand any semblance of the truth then they don't deserve to be your friend. Find out they sent the e-mail, and then shut them out. They are no friend to you.
  • I'd think that my friend cant be that smart of a person, or that loyal, because he/she would (or atleast should) come to me if anything worth breaking our friendship up could come in the way. Its rather immature to to just say "I heard something about you but wont specify but im pretyt darn angry about it, so I'll respond by being vague and ending this friendship...or atleast rethinking it". Ask them what they heard, who said it, and why they didnt come to you instead of jumping to conclusions.
  • if i was in your situation,i would even stop thinking that he/she is a friend.. a true friend wouldn't do such thing and if ever a true friend discovers something in you that is unacceptable.. they would prolly tell it straight to you or inform you and give you a chance to explain yourself.. lies or not.. what you got is not a real friend.. so don't bother.. (imo)
  • is this a joke or chain mail kind of thing?
  • Ha...drama.
  • I would reassess my choice in friendships, primarily that one. If I had a good friend, I better damn well not ever get an email like that without her first asking me about those things and whether they were real. Geez....with friends like that I'd rather be alone!
  • Not so funny, Sara it did happen to me. Right here on AB. At first I thought."They can't really believe this!!!!!" Then more people believed these lies....I can't tell you how awful it all was. I did find out who were real friends, and that IS a good thing!!!But damn........it's the hard way!! What a shame that anyone could find pleasure in the mist of this pain they caused!
  • go ask that person what are THOSE THINGS about you..ok? then youll know
  • I'd be rather offended that they didn't come to me and ask me about these things, that they just took the word of someone who may have no idea what they're talking about.
  • If this person is not willing to talk with the source, being you, and really find out the truth they are not a good friend. And you have the right to express that too, but you don't have to actually voice it that way.
  • Then forget about them- argument will only increase the tension, let them come apologies on their own. Also, they won't say anything to others (probably), as these are sensitive topics.
  • I would ask what it was they heard... and I wouldn't really know what to think until I heard what the complaint was.
  • If it is a bad thing, I wouldn't worry about what your friend thinks, because to be honest if they were a true friend they would allow you to explain yourself before judging.
  • Firstly, my question would be what things are they...

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