Agreed....... for most people yes. There are however, some situations where it is understandable..... not necessarily acceptable, but understandable.

Yes, but sometimes people are victims.

If you have been truly victimized, sharing your experience with others may be therapeutic. But the constant whining of the 'poor me' crowd, because of some perceived wrongs against them, gets to me too.

I am right there with you! I often wonder if the entire city of New Orleans has that mentality. They all just sat in that city waiting for government help and doing absolutely nothing for themselves while a hurricane bared down on them.

I agreee 100%. Always remember though it is politicians in most cases that promote this type of thinking. Why work when you can get it for free.

My first question to you is have you ever been a victim? Everyone deals with things in there own way. But, no whinning about and not doing anything about it i have no patience either. God help thoughs who help themselves.

I only hang in there for the "complainer" if they are going through an acute upset and getting better by the day. "wowe is me" as a lifestyle is someone I aviod. It is exhausting.

same here, i think these people are usually close-minded and a bit selfish and probably arent able to "put themselves in other peoples shoes"

I have no patience with those with the victim mentality that do not have a good reason to be so. I hate seeming like the victim in any situation, even if I was. Some people like the thought of being the victim. I guess it really depends. But for the most part, people arent helpless. Stop complaining and move on with life.

AAARRRGGGGHHHHH me neither.

I think if it's the same old game with someone. Someone that's addicted to that lifestyle are a drain on people. Though if your a person that honestly tries to keep your shit together and sometimes can't then it's fine. As long as it's not a lifestyle, these people are called users.

What do you mean victim mentality? That is pretty broad. I think people just deal with tragedy in different ways. Sure there are people who complain just hear themselves, but people like me who have been assaulted need our own ways of coping without being made to feel we're being a victim. I think for the most part those who portray themselves as a victim or "been wronged" are the ones who've really never had anything traumatic happen to them, so they complain like it has. I feel this way because those of us who have been through traumatic events don't complain about everything - we keep it to ourselves and try to deal as best we can.

1) I would be patient as long as I get the feeling that I can help. Sometimes I have to be very patient, and sometimes I just cannot manage it, so I give up. 2) "A victim mentality is one where you blame everyone else for what happens in your world. (Another definition not as commonly used is one that says a person thinks the future only holds bad things for them.) If you do not get the promotion it is because Mr. Johnson was out to get you. Not because he found you playing on the Internet every day. Your best friend called and said she could not have dinner with you. She is always doing that to you; not showing. You'll show her. You won't invite her when you go out again! Instead of remembering she has just started school and you did call her at the last minute. Victim mentality. Recently I spoke with someone who no longer lives with a victim mentality. She has gone on with her life and is free from some of the extra baggage that come with being a victim. We discussed forgiving our abusers and how in that process you also need to forgive yourself. With that came loosing the victim mentality. When she was living under the victim mentality she found herself angrier. She found herself swirling in a sea of resentment towards her abuser. She stayed locked in that cycle and never seemed to move forward. If she got sick, she became angry at him. If the kids messed up, she became angry at him. He was no longer in the picture, but it was all his fault. It was not hers; he made things this way... Life is easier when you can play the blame game. The blame game makes it easy for your life not to move forward or for you to grow. The day came when she tired of the mentality. She wasn't a victim anymore and the time had come for her to move beyond the victim mentality. I asked her how she stopped the self destructive cycle. The first thing she did is something many abuse victims may have a hard time doing. She forgave her abuser. She did not say that she forgave him for breaking her ribs, she acknowledged that he had a problem and that he needed to get help. Wishing him ill will kept him in her mind more then he should have been. By acknowledging that he had hurt her, that he did have a problem, she was able to feel some relief. There was more though. As important as forgiving him was, she needed to forgive herself too. She needed to forgive herself for exposing the kids to the abuse. She needed to forgive herself for not reporting him to the police all the times he had hurt her. She needed to forgive herself for being afraid. She needed to forgive herself for not having walked away all the times she could have. She needed to forgive herself.." Source and further information: http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Baker4.html

I agree. I don't want them in my life.

Victim,persecutor or enabler,which one are you?