They don't know to instinctively throw a tantrum, they learn. They learn that if they cry, they get attention. They learn if they cry alot, the gets lots of attention and if they really chuck a na-na, you will come straight over and deal with them. Its all about pushing barriers at that age.

Children at this age are learning to deal with emotions and since they are still maturing, they cannot be expected to process all those feelings. They are torn between wanting to please their parents and stepping out on their own. This is scary to them and a temper tantrum releases those built up feelings. Some adults are the same way. It's not about seeing someone misbehave. My husband & I do not fall over screaming when we don't get our way, but we've learned how to process emotions and deal with them properly. True, children learn that when they cry their parent will come, but this does NOT make a child throw a tantrum in the future. Read any book or ask any decent parent & you'll realize quickly that tantrums happen to every child...no matter how great of a parent you are! It's just a natural coping technique that children use to sort through the uncertainty of growing up. It has also been found that children who are secure in their paren't love are more likely to throw a tantrum than those who are neglected. If you nurture them & help them understand their feelings & acknowledge their feelings the tantrums will pass.

My boys never did that.