My ex husband is driving from NY to Florida to see my daughter. He does however still have a drinking problem & he's a nasty drunk. He got nasty with me on the phone & I told him that he should drive back home because he won't be seeing my daughter. My daughter isn't really looking forward to his visit because he is always so depressed. Should I act like the bitch he thinks I am or be a bigger person which would kill me?

always big the bigger person. no matter what. always do what is right.

well I dont think he should be around your daughter Lisa, just politely tell him no. :) (if he gets bad, then you can unload....I guess..) Im sorry Im not really good with this kind of situation because Im such a hothead.

If your daughter is old enough to make her own decisions, let her make that choice. Of course you have to be the bitch and tell him she doesnt want to see him. On the same token you need to remind her he is her father....and though he is pretty much screwed up, he still loves her. Then tell her to make the decision:) Thats what my parents did. They never really got involved with each other, they let me make my decisions.

Be who you are, someone is watching. Your daughter. I wouldn't let him leave with her, I would make the visit as pleasant as possible. This is for your daughter, this is her dad, and her self worth my be the price she pays for any childish games on either side!:) Later in her life she will remember this, what will she remember about you?

G'day Lisa, Thanks for your question. You should do what is in your daughter's best interests. If he is too drunk for her to see him, she shouldn't see him. Regards

Forget acting like a bitch or the better person. Do what is best for your daughter. If being a bitch means prohibiting him from seeing her because he has been drinking, that is not bitchy it's looking out for your daughter. Tell him he can come see her the next day if he is sober. That is fair. Stick to your guns. . .no sober. . .no visit.

You need to do what's best for your daughter, there's nothing wrong with protecting her. They should be allowed to see each other, but he needs to know if he's not sober, he's not seeing her. Like another poster said, your daughter will figure out he's a jerk on her own....she is old enough and smart enough.

I have the same kind of ex, just add so me drugs and they are pretty much the same. Anytime he is willing to see MY daughter I will let him, it is hard for me to keep my mouth shut. He is not allowed to leave w/ her, or drive her anywhere, or be alone with her. But if he is willing to see her then I can not take that from her. (He has not been here in over 4 years) I make every attempt to make contact, and I try to make him want her. But...

She's a good kid, Lisa. She has her head squarely on her shoulders. You can and should protect her if she needs protecting. But give her some credit as well. Let her know that she can ask for your help and have it in a flash...(But I think she already knows that.)...that's not to say that if he is going to be an asshole that you should just let him (you wouldn't anyway!!!)

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