• ask if they want to hear a funny joke,then let it go.after that tell them you knew they wouldn't believe it.
  • Ask them if they want to go clubbin' with you, then take them to a gay club. HA! That's pretty funny to me!
  • well Cher for one!
  • Dress up in high drag and go to church.
  • Around people whom I know have a sense of humor, I've said I was a "Lesbitarian" or a "Vagitarian." Knowing me, they give me a funny look and then start laughing...
  • go up to a group of straight people and say "excuse me, but i do believe you have dropped your soap. Allow me to pick it up for you." Then, bend down with your butt really high in the air. It'd sure get SOMEONE'S attention. lol.
  • well.......I told my mother I was...when she walked in on me humping my first BF to oblivion. The next day him and I were laughing our asses off.
  • When someone offers you fruit, say "yes, I am." Casually call a member of your own sex Darling or Sweetheart.
  • well it depends on if you're gay or lesbian, my dear.
  • "I just ran over your dog with my car." "Oh my god!" Just kidding! By the way, I'm gay."
  • At a family dinner: "Could you pass the potatoes to a homosexual please?"
  • Get fortune cookies custom made to have the fortune's inside that read "You will soon find out that someone you know is GAY!"
  • If it's funny, how they gonna know your for real? Just tell em' Hey, I'm gay! I just got sucked into it! HA!!
  • I told my mother by email. Many reasons for this, mostly because we lived on opposite sides of the country, I had the sudden urge for her to know, and we work opposing hours. Here is the email to share. . Dear Mum, . So I was talking to little brother the other day and he was telling me this story about how you had asked him if I was gay, and he said he didn't know. And I said to him, "Why the hell did you tell her you didn't know?" And he said, "Uh, I don't know..." And I promptly smacked him upside the head. Just kidding. But I felt like it. . Silly me, always assuming everyone can see right through me...I didn't realize that you didn't know. Well yes, sorry to break your heterosexual bubble, but I am indeed a great big dyke. Just thought you should know. Don't worry, you'll still get your grandkid. Maybe even two! And I'm not going to start wearing coveralls and stop shaving my armpits...though your husband did, and you still love him... . Anyway, I love you and I hope you aren't stroking out on the floor right now. . Love, Your Daughter (Hey, say what you worked...)
  • Wear a pink ballet dress while dancing to the Nutcracker
  • Yeah i just had a blood test and it came back gay positive Is gay spelt G-A-Y or [spell your first name here] Throw a gay surprise party for yourself and invite everyone Drag a closet into the room where everyone is then get into the closet and shut the door and then jump out and say "surprise" Say: funny thing happened to me last week i was looking up porn on the web and accidentley opened some gay porn and wouldnt you know it, its turns i am gay
  • just a simple "man, i love a nice dick"
  • This is a tough one. It's a serious moment, telling people you care about and who care about you something like that. How to lighten it without seeming frivolous? Guys ==== YOU: "I just realized I need to change my career path, and I'm having a crisis." FRIEND: "What do you mean?" YOU (with feigned frustration): "Well, I haven't the talent for musical theater, I'm no good at interior design, and I can't stand hairdressing!" Girls ==== YOU: "Would you like to go shopping with me? I just found out I need a whole new wardrobe." FRIEND: "Why's that?" YOU (with feigned exasperation): "Almost everything I've got is frilly, frippery and color-coordinated. Nothing I have is baggy, and I don't own a single pair of comfortable shoes!"
  • I usually come out beginning a sentence like this: "As a known and confirmed homosexual...." Once I said, "As a known and confirmed homosexual, I would like you to pass me a slice of pizza, please." The term homosexual is so sterile and 1950s. I am rather fond of it because people assume I am straight and assume that I am not one. I use the term less for shock value and more for my own warped needs to add "known and confirmed" before it. If I am lazy-- I will just tell them I am "Light in the loafers." That seems to cover it well too.
  • say i want to put it in your tight butthole if they dont understand then theyre really stupid

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