I don't think that's cheating I think it's just being a good friend.

i will tell you one thing, if my girlfriend had a guy spend the night I do not care if they did not even talk, it is not right and I would end it right there. It will make trust issues and it is very very very rude.

Its not quite cheating, but its kinda close...I mean she didnt have to stay the night. Being a good friend is one thing but I don't know about that part.Thats just my opinion though.

It may not technically be cheating, but it's emotionally suspect. Definitely a good way to start building a hareem.

Would you care if she did the same thing?

You are on very rocky ground... Technically it is not cheating but i am sure your girlfriend/boyfriend is not going to be very happy with you... but if you dont tell him/her and they find out other ways... they are going to kill you....

Not cheating, but definitely innapropriate.

not with someone in a previous relationship. if it is a long time friend, thats different. unless there is a way my gf could prove it was without sex, i would feel cheeted on

One thing I can't stand is women that always look to their exs for attention when shit hits the fan! She could have found another friend instead of bringing drama into someone's relationship. Needy people are just trouble!

Uh, no. It's called being friends. I'm surprised by the amount of people who consider this "inappropriate". My best friend of -- what, 8 years? -- happens to be an ex of mine, but there is nothing inappropriate about either one of us spending a night at the other's house, or comforting each other, or hanging out with each other in general. If I am in a monogamous romantic relationship with someone, I trust them and I expect them to trust me back, otherwise it probably wouldn't work out because then what kind of a relationship is it?

I do not consider that cheating at all. If you are a nice guy, that means you are a good friend!

That's not cheating, but it's not a very good thing to do. If she's your ex then she should have left, not spend the night with you. That proves one thing, that either she or you still heve feelings for each other... The fact that she called out to you in a time of sadness shows that she still needs your attention... When you break up, you break up. You can't be with that person and remain best of friends, that only happens if both of you still have feelings for each other, but are afraid to reveal them... My opinion is that you should talk to your girlfriend about this, i mean, would you like it if one of her exs stopped by her house at night crying, knowing that he would spend the night there, and you wouldn't ever know what happened that night? I mean, shure, she can tell you that nothing happened, but would that confort you? NO... That's my theory about love, if you love someone then you get jealous when they are alone with another person... If you say it's not true than you've never loved anyone, sorry....

its not cheating if your only comforting her although as she is your ex she may still have feelings for you and therefore you need to be sure whenever your around her you dont let one thing lead to another. x

well its unfair too your girlfriend and if i were your girl friend i wouldnt wanna be with you if you still that cosy with ex spending night with her .so what if ex upset !!! she aint your girlfriend anymore aint your problem

Ask yourself this: If your GF had her ex-boyfriend over for the same reason and she told you, how would you react? I would call it emotional cheating rather than physical.

in my opinion? NO! grr i hate partners who cant accept when their partner is friends with ex's and cares. it irritates me to no end haha

would you like if you girlfriends ex spend night at hers?? be honest and she said noting happened you would always be wondering if anything happened

its cheating. Cheating doesent always mean sexual

Its cheating. One way or another, you had another girl (an X-gf!) stay the night at your house. Thats messed up, I would rather have my bf sleep with a slut, then have an X gf stay the night seeking comfort from him.

No.It isn't cheating. But your girlfriend may see as cheating because of her jealousy. If you value your relationship with her, you need to consider how she will see it and just accept that it is going to look suspicious. Being supportive of a friend in need is a huge part of friendship. Friendship should be a huge part of your relationship with your girl. It can be a tough thing to balance. I don't envy your position right now.

Your current GF will never believe there was no sex. And neither do I. So, it makes no difference whether there was no sex, it is cheating in her eyes.

That's not cheating,it's compassion. Tell your lady about it before she finds out otherwise. That will build trust between you. +4

Cheating to some people is physical contact, but cheating actually is any unfaithful act between you and somebody else to your significant other. Comforting a girl and having her spend the night is a stupid idea, having that girl be your ex is even more stupid. You stated that you didn't have sex, did you kiss, did you hug? Anything else short of sex, that certainly is cheating by most people. If your girlfriend or boyfriend breaks up with you, do not be surprised. You screwed up big time.

that depends on what happened there. Did you comfort her by just being there for company? No, thats not cheating. If you had any sexual or romantic contact, touching, kissing oral, etc..yes, its cheating.

if there's no intention of sex than no. BUT cheating comes in different forms. physical is the obvious one, but emotional cheating is cheating also. a situation like that is tricky b/c lots of people turn to sex for comfort. if she's your friend and you comfort her as a friend and nothing more, than i wouldn't see it as cheating either.

To say that letting your ex spend the night with you was unwise is an understatement. It doesn't matter whether it's really cheating. It's REALLY tearing up your girlfriend.

Did she sleep on the couch? Did you let your girlfriend know she's coming over and tell her what's happening? Exactly how did you comfort her? All in all, I think it was a really bad decision to allow her to come over and spend the night at your place! You were insensitive to your girlfriend's needs and put your ex's ahead of hers! Now, she will always wonder what happened regardless if it's innocent or not!

To avoid misunderstanding, it is advisable not to spend the night together, especially in the same room. +5

No i dont think this situation would be defined as cheating, but i am also sure that your g/f may see it differently, mine would, shes fairly jealous. I would have some explaining to do, and even then she would still be pissed.

Last time I checked cheating involved some form of sexual acy.. kissing, sex, etc... So no.. it isn't cheating. Though why would she spend the night? Sounds like she came to you hoping you would cheat.

Yes you do or you wouldn't be asking the question.

i do believe there is something called emotionally cheating idk if it is real but i have heard of it before...

i dont think thats bad at all your not makingout with your ex but i wont spend the night wit my ex thats just not rite.thats all i have to say. i hope you didnt do anythang.

You have 40 ruinned relationships... Probably because you have never taken your time to get to know the girls better before you try anything... Or probably you get bored easyly... Or they can't handle the fact that you slept with lots of girls... But that's not their fault, it's yours... You too need to grow up and to think ahead of things... Just so we're clear, i'm not blamming you or your exs of anything, i'm just giving you my opinion ^^

it is cheating if you gave of yourself something that should only be given to the person you have pledged to be intimate with, that you have committed yourself to. If the other person needed comfort, the way to handle that is openly with the presence of your significant other, nothing to hide, or not at all. There are other ways for people to gain comfort and if a relationship has ended and you have moved on to an exclusive relationship with someone else, than you have no business sharing intimacies or placing yourself in a suspicious position. Everything needs to be open, honest, and fully trustworthy. If you can't openly tell the other person or don't want them to find out, that tells you right there that there is an issue of trust and honor.

Technically, no. But that's NOT the way anyone to whom you are committed is going to see it. Say your girlfriend's ex was broken up badly about a breakup, or maybe his girlfriend beat him (it happens, you know). Would you be bothered by him going over to her place at 11PM, being comforted, and spending the night? (Don't say "no". Even if you trusted her explicitly, you would be upset about it.) THEN, what if he stayed there a few days? You have to see it as she sees it... Did she even know you cared that much about your ex? Does she know her at all? If not before this happened, she doesn't KNOW anything about her. Now, if she DID, she might not have as much of a problems with the situation. But, it seems to me she doesn't, so of COURSE she's going to go ballistic. You say in one comment that you "never violated the respect of your current GF". Yes... You did. She expects your apartment/house to be a safe place for you and her to be together, possibly with friends, now and then. She doesn't expect exes to be able to show up at the door and spend the night, ESPECIALLY on your (and her... she DOES consider your bed hers, too, as you would consider hers) bed! Now, obviously, you BOTH have issues. She, now, has major trust issues, and they are NOT unfounded. Whether you did anything or not is moot. You let someone you had had a relationship with before stay with you and even spend the night IN YOUR BED with you. You don't love your GF as much as you say, because if you did, you NEVER would have allowed that to happen. You could have talked, and she could have slept either on the couch, gone home (not to where her BF was, but HOME), or to some other friends' home. As for "dumping", if you are even considering this, you are not very empathetic or compassionate. What will happen after you break up and find someone else and your (now) GF needs to see you? Same thing? If you want to have a good relationship, you'd better make sure your girlfriends know about exes, and what you believe you should do if one shows up at your door. Oh, and "friends with benefits" is certainly not a way to start any relationship. I applaud you in that you can remain friends with exes. Few people can. BUT, you have to be VERY careful about "trying to help" them in their current relationships. Keep those old relationships to phone calls alone (that your current GF knows about, or you tell her about), unless your current GF knows and approves of what you are doing/going to do. AND, if she insists on being around, then that's the way it's gotta be. BTW: You say the ex's bf is mean and abusive. She should just get out of that relationship, and move on. Tell her to contact the local womans' shelter. They have the expertise to deal with the situation. If the guy is an abuser and mean, you never know WHAT he will do with YOU if her were to find out she's staying THERE.

As long as you call your real girlfriend first and ask what she thinks then it is not cheating. You need to have some respect for the one you are with now more than anyone you used to be with. Since you all broke up it is not your job to "comfort" them anyway.

sounds like you still love your ex.... would your girlfriend be cool with that.... did you even tell her about this????? and im not talking about after.... did you ask if it was okay with her before doing this... if not you didnt give her the respect she deserves as YOUR girlfriend..... YOU KNOW THAT WOULD HURT YOUR GIRLFRIEND... WHY WOULD YOU SACRIFICE YOUR CURRENT GIRLFRIENDS FEELINGS AND HURT HER, FOR YOUR EX'ES FEELINGS. who do you care about more??? maybe you have known your ex for a lot longer, but your girlfriend is still you girlfriend.. thats not fair for you to have another girl spend the night at your house.... that is called an emotional affair.... you dont need to have sex or be physical to cheat... if she was sad... why would she come to you?? be honest with yourself. if you like her you like her.... and if you do... then yes it IS cheating.... how would you like it if your girlfriends ex boyfriend was "sad" and went and slept over at her house.... yeah you would love that