What's the most creative insult (without the use of cuss words) that you've ever heard?
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ANSWERS: 56
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Your mama sucks!...but I didn't have the five dollars....
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My friend to a kid with a lazy eye: 'We'll have to put that eye to bed' He has a knack of creating many innovative insults, and they are usually hilarious
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Chicagoan Related to that -- he's got "one eye fishing, and one eye digging worms..."
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Nerf-herder Pudwapper
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You're all coat and no trousers, mate! Translation from Cockney, to what I believe it means: You are all for show, you can't really do that; a cover up.
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I'm sorry, I just assumed that stupidity just ran in your family.
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Here are some good ones...I have heard of them before but am not in a memory mood today....tired. This Man is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot. Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching. A room-temperature IQ. A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on. A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus A prime candidate for natural deselection. Bright as Alaska in December. Donated his brain to science before he was done using it. If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled. Takes him and hour and a half to watch 60 Minutes. Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby. And finally.... Men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity http://www.chainletters.net/?item=744
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Creamcrackered
I'm scribbling some of those down. :)
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Look mate do the world a favour, pull your lip over your head and swallow!!!!
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Hey you! Out of the gene pool NOW!
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YO Dog watch out I gonna run all over you man
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"I do desire we may be better strangers" -Shakespeare
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I overheard my father talking one day about a man that he truly disliked. The man, apparently, was of very low moral fibre. My father, rather sarcastically, said...."I like him soooo much....I wouldn't piss in his ear if his brains were on fire."....thought it was tremendously funny....especially as my father never swore when around us.
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My favorite: Only you could pull that off! (when referring to your outfit)
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This comment may be too complicated for your under developed simple mind to comprehend
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Well, I think this is fairly clever. "I believe that you believe what you are saying, I just don't agree."
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She looks like she was on fire and someone put her out with a chair!
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"You're more confused than a hungry baby at a topless bar" or "You're slightly less interesting than a seramic frog."
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Every time you open your mouth, your IQ drops.
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You are the cause of trauma to my lower posterior abdomen. (My 3rd grade teacher letting me know I was a pain in his ass).
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i just remember this one: Only you could screw up a wet dream
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Did your parents have any children that lived?
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When God was handing out brains, you thought he said trains. And, you have been on the wrong track ever since.
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i was watching tv and the neighbor comes to his neghbors house and hes like i own a couple feet of ur garage and hes like how would u like to own a couple inches of my foot up ur ass !!!@ loll hah lol srry it has a cuss word
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I worked with a guy called Doug. He sat next to two women - both very attractive. Managers were thinking of moving them away and replacing them with two middle-aged male actuaries. "Do you want the actuaries there? Or would you prefer it if Gayle and Karen stayed?" "Well," said Doug, "it depends if I'm in the mood to look at people or speak to them." Sexist, snobbish and insulting 4 people in one simple sentence!
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oh, erm that gorrilla wants his face back. i'm not ignoring you, you're just insignificant.
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I'm thinking your gene pool is in need of a little chlorine...
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If you were a dog, I'd have you put to sleep....
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"yes dear...whatever you say dear" (dripping with sarcasm, of course...
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"If brains were gasoline you wouldn't have enough to power an ants motor cycle to go around the outside of a penny." Courtesy of Rugrats funnily enough.
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I may be drunk but you're ugly and I will be sober in the morning!
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Santa says ho
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If I moved your plate 6 inches you'd starve to death.
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My grandmother saying in That tone of voice: She is not a lady. It spoke volumes.
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"He's so dumb that if brains were gas, he wouldn't have enough to power a moped around a fruit loop."
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God poured your brains in with a teaspoon and somebody jiggled his arm! courtesy of Barney Fife
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well one time my friend was throwing stuff @ this kid's crotch (ya she's weird) and he asked "what are you aiming @" i chirped in and said not much
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May your armpits be infested with the fleas of a thousand camels.
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May your mother come out from under the steps and bite you.
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It's really sort of a rhyme. Dude 1:Yo momma. Dude 2:Yo daddy. Dude 1:Yo baldheaded granny with holes in her panties.She's 99, she thinks she's fine,she's going out with Frankenstein.woo woo,go Frankie,woo woo, go Frankie. Used to be used at a school of mine.
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Here on AB, a downrate.
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I hope your children turn out poorly.
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"Bless her heart."
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[ CaptainHarley invites -name- to go perform an impossible act upon his own body! ] : D
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"I hope her boobs are hairy!!!" - heard by my wife from a woman, about her ex-bf's new gf.
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On M*A*S*H, Klinger once said "If my dog had a face like yours I'd shave his butt and teach him to walk backwards!" In HS once, I heard a guy call another guy "You Amazon!"
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Is that your head, or did your neck just blow a bubble?
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My brother said this to a friend he was arguing with (but I don't know if it's his or he heard it somewhere): So, what do you think of the human race? I'd like an outsider's opinion... Made me crack!
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The wheel is spinning but the hamster's dead! Love it!
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i would fight you but i cant, the animal protection act and all...
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You're unbelievable. Someone as ugly as a 'plumber's-crack' - such as you are - should at least have the common decency to make up for it with a decent personality, but no. You're just creepy, aren't you.
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"You know, I used to have a [FILL IN THE BLANK WITH THE PERSON'S ETHNICITY] fetish, but thanks to you I've lost it."
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If brains were dynamite, you wouldn't have enough to blow your nose!
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the more drunk i get the prettier you are
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Just... What the hell are you exactly? You're worthless/useless... You don't deserve to exist...
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I know many, but here are two of my favorites; (1) Isadora Duncan to George B. Shaw, "With your brains and my looks, we could have the perfect child"...G.B. Shaw; "Yes, but what if it had my looks and your brains?" (2) G.B. Shaw to Winston Churchill; "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my play__bring a friend, if you have one." Winston Churchill; "Cannot possibly attend the first night. Will attend second__if there is one..."
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"A waste of skin" applied to an ineffectual person and "oxygen thief" to someone who didn't contribute towards anything.
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"If I am to be insulted, I must first value your opinion."
Professor Yaffle 
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