ANSWERS: 53
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uh, oh...
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May Day, May Day!
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Anyone seen where i put my mushroom stash?
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Now where is that darn runway.
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Uh, what do we do now?
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Woops!
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Why the hell did you serve the pilot and the co-pilot the same meal.
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Is there a doctor on this flight?
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oh no there goes the last engine
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"Good Evening! This is your Captain! I would like to welcome you aboard! Also, I like beer."
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You had the fish too??
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"Is this supposed to come off?"
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"And if you look out of the front window you can see the Twin Towers. Allahu Akbar!"
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Announcement ... "Good Morning this is your Captain. Just wondering ... Has anyone ever landed a plane before? No rush, I can't find the runway yet."
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"Is that supposed to be on fire?"
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"please prepare for a soft landing" while flying over the middle of the pacific ocean.
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Oh, SH-T! Did you see that light? It hovered right outside my window, then took off straight up! *RALPH* Oops! I'll be right back. I've gotta get a dose. Do you have the needle and spoon? Tower? This is the stewardess. The flight crew is down! Can you talk me in?
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...but I thought YOU fueled up before we left... or Will someone PLEASE tell me what that flashing light is over there, and turn off that damned alarm! or My wife left me, my kids hate me, I'm gonna get fired for being drunk on the job again and now you're telling me I have to fly this tub into Newark Int'l??? Oh hell no! If I'm going down, I'm taking you with me.
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"What the f*** are all these levers and buttons for? and where's that bint with me booze?"
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Oh bother, feather the damn thing! The pilot just passed out and the co-pilot is hung over. Do you think we have enough fuel to make it to the airport or will we have to ditch in the ocean? I hate the smell of electrical wires burning.
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On a twin engine plane: Ladies and Gentlemen, we've lost one engine so now instead of getting to our destination in 2 hours, it will take 4. 5 minutes later: Sorry folks, now we've lost the second engine so the new flying time will be ........
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"This is your captain speaking. Please remain calm. Is there a airplane mechanic onboard...nevermind! Geronimo!!"
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To steal a line from my favorite movie... "Houston, we have a problem!"
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this is your captain speaking, judging by the looks of things we appear to have lost a wing, please remain seated with your seatbelt fastened
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heya im paris hilton and ill be your captain for this flight
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where we going again
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And what are these levers for again...?
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Anything in Arabic.
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"Oh, look over there, it's my buddy Jack." (Waves, yells frantically) "HI JACK!"
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We're going down!
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Captain:- And if you all look out the windows on the left side of the airplane, you will see an orange coloured inflatable in the ocean. That's where I'm talking to you from.
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...The hell does that light mean?
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Hmmm. I wonder what that flashing light means. OR I thought YOU knew how to land the plane! OR I hate when I'm running late and have to chug my last beer before getting on the plane. OR I bet you $10 I can land this thing without putting the wheels down!
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I am serious... and don't call me shirly
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ooooh, what does this button do ?
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Ladies and Gentlemen, please assume the brace position....
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Boy, I'm sure glad I packed my parachute!!!
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"Folks, don't panic, but it seems we're out of fuel... We were supposed to fill up before take off but me and my co-pilot had a bet on how long we'd last on just a gallon... Also; this airplane recently had some renovations including installation of new seats... But there's a problem; they forgot the seat belts... Again folks; don't panic, because nothing can be done as we fall to the ground..." O.o of course; hearing the pilot having sex with the female flight attendant could also be weird... Hope this helps... :D
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This.
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Anybody know what this button does?
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Is there a pilot in the passenger section?
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Your turn! Spank my monkey now.....!
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excuse me sirs and mams but the pilot has just stepped out for a sec.
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(over the intercom) " The low fuel light is on Frank! The low fuel light is on Frank! We are all going to die! We can't stay in the air without fuel!!! Aaaaaaaaaaaa! Oh, wait. That is the intercom light."
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Um this is your pilot speaking, Gosh you guys are gonna hate me for this... OH F*%K NO!!!
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oh crap i knew we should have read that new owner's manual.
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YO! Where's the vodka!
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What the hell is with this clock? It only goes up to ten! Are we on metric time or something? Oh, and look at this, now it's going backwards, and rather quickly at that.
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and if you look out to your right were all going to die. ide be excited cuz i get those mask thingies that make u high on oxygen. best death you can ask for.
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(over atlantic ocean) Ohhhhhhhhhhh, So thaaaaats where the fuel dump switch is...
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Women voice: OH GOD!OH GOD! OH GOD!OH GOD! were almost there!!!!
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Bang!Bang! especially if its a 2 pilot airplane!
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Hey Tim, let's see how close I can fly this thing to those mountains.
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