ANSWERS: 100
  • Hit me once, shame on you. Hit me twice, shame on me. Hit me a third time, shame on both of us. In other words; he feels bad but if he does it a second time, do not hesitate to call the police and seek other legal options. If he does it a thrid time, then both of you should have fixed it by by jail/divorce the second time.
  • Leave him. Walk away and don't look back. He'll only do it again. All the best to you.
  • First, it's NOT your fault that you got hit. Get couple's counselling right away.
  • He sure should NOT blame YOU for him hitting you! HE is the one with the problem! I think you should do something about this NOW, before it continues and/or gets worse. If he hits you now, he most likely will continue. You need to get away from him & seek some sort of help. I don't mean your marriage can't be saved, might be able to, but he would have to be willing to get help somewhere for his violent behavior.
  • Dont EVER accept that bullshit from him. He hit a woman. NO MAN HITS A WOMAN!!!! period. He's an abusive a--hole and if you were smart would walk away from this guy now. Its going to happen again...and again....Your lucky Im not your neighbor. I'd pound on this guys skull with a golf club.
  • It's great that he appologized. It is HORRIBLE that he blamed you. Unless you had hit him first there is no excuse for blaming you. That is unforgivable in my opinion.
  • As long as he's blaming you he should not be forgiven. What you do is up to you. You have a much better idea where things stand than anyone else. If you don't choose to document this incident you risk not being able to use it later in court should he continue this behavior. A relationship in which there is abusive behavior, physical or emotional isn't one you should want to be part of. Think very hard before dismissing something that serious.
  • Leave him now. 1. He hit you 2. He pulled a guilt by crying 3. He blamed you. He is not going to change! You will be on eggshells for the rest of your relationship worrying when it is going to happen again, and it will. Get out of there, or better still, get HIM out of there!
  • Crocodile tears, those are. He's not truly sorry, as he can't sincerely accept his fault in this. I agree with other answers given here, seek counseling or if this a recurring issue, get away as soon as possible.
  • New husband? And hes already hitting you. And blames you. Leave him ASAP. He has you under his control now? Get it...It will only get worse, guaranteed. He knows you are his ..."he owns you"...Or so he thinks...LEAVE HIM NOW. I had a man who was abusive, it took me...(he thinking he killed me)...to excape it all..He cried, and asked for forgiveness the first time....the 2nd time, the 3rd time...the 4th time, till he stoped asking for forgiveness...and I should ask him for forgiveness...GET OUT NOW, NO IF ANDS OR BUTS...GET OUT. Its no good, no good at all...GET OUT please? The last thing the world needs, is another woman to fall into the abuse trap, and being found in the middle of a field somewhere. Its where I almost was. Please?
  • He must be insane! How can he put the blame on you after hitting you? I would move out and leave him if I were you. +3
  • He's refusing to take responsibility for his own actions, and that says a lot about his character. My 7 year old does this a lot, my husband wouldn't. If an adult can't even admit to their own mistakes then they aren't adults at all. My advise is to leave. Sometimes abusive relationships can be salvaged with therapy and marital counseling, but for that to work the partner has to know and admit that what they did was wrong and be willing to get help so that it doesn't happen again.
  • Blaming you? one of the classic signs of an abuser... This is an extremely bad sign - and there are many more - check the list at http://www.recovery-man.com/abusive/abusive_signs.htm Ask yourself if you can face years of worrying about the next thing to set him off and how you can stop it happening (Answer: you can't)
  • i think this might be an obvious one. Excuse me for being so harsh. U may think that because he cried, that he is feeling guilty, but its really a ploy to get U to feel bad and take him back and not leave him. And ur actualy lucky because since he is a new husband, it will prob be easier to leave him than if u were already together for 20 years. Leave NOW before u get sucked in. No one that loves u will EVER put their hands on u. GET OUT NOW before it escalates. IT can only get worse. How much u love him does not matter at this point because NO ONE deserves someone that hits or hurts them verbally, physically, or emotionally. Take my message and everyone else's messages to heart even if we are strangers, and get the HELL OUTTA THERE. U don't want to bring kids in the picture and have a harder time getting out later. JUST DO IT NOW and get lots of support and family and friends to help u find somewhere to live. Just think of the movie, Enough, with Jennifer Lopez to remind u of the possible consequences if u stay.
  • I see 3 choices 1 Dutiful little wife bend over and say no problem I know you will not do it again. (and repeat this every time he does it) 2 get the hell out and let everyone you know what he did, press charges etc 3 wait till he is a sleep and cut his "Man Card" Off he no longer deserves it
  • While I am willing to concede that someone might hit their spouse once without really meaning to, his behavior afterward is a red flag. If he were NOT a potential abuser, he would have fallen to his knees, unconditionally begged for forgiveness, and taken the entire responsibility upon himself. By 'blaming the victim', he is rationalizing his own barely-forgivable behavior. I think it's time to get out before it gets worse. Good luck.
  • the whole blaming you for being hit tells me you should leave his sorry ass
  • hi there is no answer other then what u feel my wife gets mad poors beer water what ever on me not 2 bring up hitn its no joke its scary ass hell dont get me wrong ive been troughn in jail because they blame me but i swear on my son im 230 lbs and 6 ft 2 they wont help me i stay at siss house cause i dnt no what 2 do i feel u i always go back just b careful k
  • Go, go now. So many women stay with abusive men because they think they will change, they wont it will just get worse until if gets proper help. Go now, good luck.
  • New husband needs to be an ex-husband. If he hits you once, he'll do it again and then he'll hit your kids. Your future kids deserve better. So do you.
  • rather than leave you another of the same answers-do you have a daughter? niece? friend? would you counsel them to stay, and forgive? does love hurt? should it? look at the strangers all telling you the same thing. arent you more than a statistic? good luck sweetheart.
  • You have to leave.....let me say it again....YOU HAVE TO LEAVE. That is unless you slugged him first, then he merely hit you back. But, still, although it may be an isolated incident, you don't want to take that chance.
  • When I first saw your question, I flashed back to two relatives of mine who found themselves in the same situation, and I thought, "OK, this is really, really bad, but don't jump to conclusions." When I got to the "he apologized and cried" part, I thought, "Man, have I heard that before -- but maybe." But that last sentence settles it. His apology means nothing. He's crying so that when he blames you for him hitting you you'll feel guilty for having burdened him with this horrible, horrible thing. I mean, you obviously really hurt him so badly when you put him in a situation where he had to hit you. So, clearly, it's your fault. This is what is called "psychological manipulation," or "pathological behavior," -- more commonly known as spousal abuse. But I personally prefer the term bullshit. Leave. Now. Do not look back. I have never seen a situation like this get better -- ever. My experience is admittedly limited, and others here may know more than I do about this, but inherent in what he did is a lack of respect for you, combined with an inclination to dump responsibility for his own problems onto your shoulders. He'll never stop doing that. Leave. And one more thing -- I don't like reading between the lines because it's so easy to make mistakes. But I can't help but notice that you said your "new husband hit me for the first time." You need to understand that most women in this situation would say, "my husband hit me." Adding the phrase "for the first time" tells me that part of you doesn't expect it to be the last.
  • If he is blaming you, he will do it again. I guarantee it. And then he'll be sorry, AGAIN, and then it will be your fault AGAIN. There are two options: both of you get counselling to see if the marriage can be properly salvaged and to see if your husband can take responsibility for his actions. Second option is to leave now. He will not improve without professional help and if he refuses, you need to leave him now.
  • I was sitting here thinking "how terrible that she was treated this way by her husband, but perhaps the situation is perhaps not as terrible as it could be since he apologised and cried". Then I read that he is blaming you for getting hit. My mind has completely switched. Domestic violence is not excusable. Sometimes otherwise fantastic people switch and do something almost unexplainable and hit out. However while your husband has apologised, his refusal to accept full responsibility is not a good sign to me. I would be inclined to perhaps forgive for just the one time if he had done that to me and was sincerely sorry. By blaming you he does not appear sorry. In fact, he is showing a trait which is characteristic of abusers. It is something which I would be incredibly concerned about. If you were my sister, I would tell you to leave him. I am inclined to say the same thing to you but at the very least my advice to you would be to get out of that house straight away and speak this through with him and a relationship counsellor. This is because I understand that everything becomes more complicated once you are married, and this is why I suggest trying to sort things through with the counsellor (and getting his or her private perspective on this also) before divorce became an issue. If you had been single I would have suggested leaving him fullstop. You are never to blame if he hits you, and no man has the right to hit his wife. Whatever you decide to do, make sure this never happens again.
  • 1st time: Leads to acceptance you might even believe it's your fault as time goes on. SEEK Counseling if that doesn't work I recommend a restraining order and a divorce and do not say that lightly I knew a man who was abusive he finally went off attacked his woman with a hammer hit her once but was so messed up he missed all the others times. Thta relationship ended badly.
  • You've heard alot saying just leave him, but while it should never be forgiven, it has only been one occasion (and I don't know the severity, which does play a role). You should reevaluate if you still want to be with him if you don't have kids yet, and if you don't want to leave him, which is fine get couples counseling. Its ok to forgive someone hitting you once, but if he does it again, then its a pattern and time to leave.
  • Leave him and never look back. He'll only do it again, and blame you for it. Please don't be an abused wife. It's not your fault! No man hits a woman.
  • Tell your daddy what he did so he can get a proper ass whipping that he deserves.
  • Gee, that's original. "Oh honey, I'm so sorry, but it's really your fault I hit you!" Unless you were hitting him first, it is in NO WAY your fault. The fact that he chooses to blame you instead of accepting that only HE controls his actions means you need to say, "Goodbye." and get the hell out while you can still do so alive.
  • First time never means last time. It only turns into this time..... LEAVE NOW AND DONT LOOK BACK! I know this is hard, it took me 8 years to do. Still the best decision I ever made.
  • Bless your heart,its not as simple as, KICK HIM OUT, is it ?you love him, and he has really hurt you,and your right, he is, the last person on the planet who should attack you,take away your confidence and make you feel wrong. Talk to him, tell him, if you are going to be married and spend your lives togeather, there are going to be rules, for both of you,learn them, and stick to them, it wont be easy, and you will fail now and again, but they will make your life togeather,a hole lot easyer, and happyer,i have been married to Tracie 25yrs following this path, 1 Never be unfaithfull, you will never kiss anyone else,ever again, understand and except it, you are no longer available,you both made your choice, stick to it. you never stop being attracted to people, but you have to let it go by. 2 dont get jelous, and dont cause jelousy,anyone you talk to, your partner can talk to, include them, 3 dont argue about, anything, not unless its really worth it,try to be patient and let things go, when ever you can,(this can take practice). 4 dont swear at each other,or call each other names,have respect for each other at all times, 5 Be happy every day of your life, and do what you want to do, every day, 6 stick togeather and dont tell lies to each other,share cake, fags,money and depts. make a deal with each other and stick to the rules,make your own rules,you have a long way to go,its never easy at first,but dont live in fear or mistrust, it will distroy the both of you
  • If he took complete responsibility for what he did, then there might be a possibility for redemption or rehabilitation. Even if he took ANY responsibility, then "maybe, maybe ...". But once he accused you of any responsibility for what HE did ("you asked for it", "you made me do it", "I had no choice", "because ... because ... because ..."), then it's clear that he has NO intention of reforming. This is a test, and you might only get one chance to pass it. The correct response is: leave NOW -- this minute, if you can or have to for your own safety, seek shelter and assistance from others, and initiate divorce or annulment proceedings immediately.
  • I agree with most of the people here that you should just leave him. As someone else said, I was considering that it might be a one-time thing that he truly regretted, but as soon as I read "He is blaming me for getting hit", the whole thing changed. That shows signs of instability, something I think you need to insist he get counseling for (and show improvement in!) before you agree to go any further with this marriage. In the meantime, leave. Stay with a friend or family and make it clear that if you come back at all, it's only after he's made noticeable improvement.
  • His response to the situation sends up huge red flags. I was in a similar situation (though my ex abused one of my pets, not me), and although he cried about it afterwards and I forgave him, his treatment of me and my pet didn't change a bit. Your husband's crying is a ploy for sympathy, a way to deflect your attention from the issue at hand and manipulate you to feel sorry for him. He hopes you'll say, "Poor guy, he's hurting." In reality, you are the one that's been hurt, and you should leave him now before his behavior escalates. Leaving early in a marriage is earlier than leaving later, when the behavior will be entrenched and you'll feel obligated to stay because you've already devoted X number of years to the marriage.
  • Yea that's good, blame the person you hit. I'm sorry but he's an "A-Hole". Get help ASAP
  • Rather than save your marriage, save yourself.
  • Get out of there now. This will only get worse if you stay. He has a problem - don't let yourself become any more a part of it.
  • The key here is: ". . . hit me for the first time . . ." He'll hit you again, you even know that. So, what do you think should be done?
  • He'll do it again. And he will apologize again. Then he'll do it again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And, imagine, he'll do it again. And again. And again. And again. And again. Why shouldn't I write it all over again and again? Nobody have stopped me!
  • My matron on honor told me a story. She had a friend who was hit by her husband. When he went to sleep that night she made a big steaming pot of grits. She woke him up standing over him with the hot pot of grits and told him that if he ever hit her again, he could expect to have hot grits poured all over him while asleep. Needless to say, he never laid his hand upon her in anger again.
  • ALL abusers blame the victim! If you could keep your mouth shut, "I wouldn't have to hit you" If you had my dinner ready, "I wouldn't have got angry and had to hit you" You just won't learn, "Not to mess with me when I'm in a bad mood" These are a few of the common reasons these LOW DOWN, NO GOOD BASTARDS give for their bullshit! NOOOOOOOO WAY! A person can get very upset, maybe hit you... (ONCE), admitt it was thier fault, and NEVER do it again. This guy will continue the abuse!! Get out, get away from him. Some never have another chance to get out!
  • leave him, if he did it once, he will do it again. such men cant be changed,,, believe me.
  • leave him, ESPECIALLY if he's blaming you. If he won't even take the blame for it then he doesn't feel bad about it. If he's done it once he's bound to do it again.
  • I'm sorry to read you're going through it sweetie. But if you need another answer telling you so, then here it is: leave him. There are too many stories out there like yours. Don't ignore them. All the alarms are sounding. Leave him while you still can. There is someone out there for you who will respect you and be good at you. Don't waste anymore time with this man. Ask for help if you can't deal with it by yourself. Best of lucks. Keep us updated!
  • I'm a lesbian and my EX partner did this to me...I let her do it to me ("ONLY" about once a year an not every single year) for about 8 YEARS! I worked for the police dept in the traffic division and I was too ashamed to tell ANYONE about it. Most of the marks weren't where they could be seen. GET OUT NOW...HE IS LYING, HE IS NOT SORRY and "that's why it is YOUR FAULT" that he hit you...IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT HE HIT YOU, IT IS HIS FAULT. YOUR ONLY FAULT will be if you too stay and put up with it, because HE is a manipulative BULLY and HE is going to HIT YOU AGAIN, AND AGAIN, AND AGAIN. He may do other things as well, like run up DEBT that you will be accountable for, because you are married, like get drunk and start fights outside of the home, and also then beat you, because you are frightened of him or accidentally say that you don't like him drunk like that, or generally erode your self confidence and self esteem until you can not SEE a possible way to leave. He will drive up your blood pressure, and ruin your immune system with stress. GET OUT NOW! http://www.wsaz.com/news/headlines/27806049.html http://www.filecabi.net/video/burn45ie.html I would have been dead if I hadn't finally gotten out. The longer you stay, the WORSE IT IS GOING TO GET! See an attorney ASAP and do not tell this bastard where you are going, pack what you can while he is not home and get the hell out of there. There are NO EXCUSES for hitting, no matter how angry ANY PERSON IS, they can always WALK AWAY and COOL DOWN, TO TRY AND TALK REASONABLY ABOUT THE MATTER. GET OUT! REMEMBER...NO ONE HERE HAS A SINGLE THING TO GAIN OR LOOSE BY YOUR CHOICE...YOU, HOWEVER, HAVE EVERYTHING TO GAIN OR LOOSE BY YOUR DECISION ON THIS. I'm inclined to think if this many people feel THIS PASSIONATE about this topic...the overwhelming majority might just be giving you the BEST RESOLVE FOR THIS "situation" that you will ever get. I'd be inclined to take the advice AND RUN like hell.
  • Get out while you are alive. How do you think Drew Peterson or Scott Peterson got started? Those are just the famous ones. Many women and men lose their lives to the person who should love them most. All of them start somewhere. There is always a first time they hit. Not all of them end up in a shallow grave or a bay. Those that don't are often just lucky.
  • Sorry people. Let's JUMP to conclusions. Oh poor little girl. Maybe so. We don't know what happened. Is it acceptable to hit anyone? hell yes!. Here is what may have happened. New family sitting down at dinner (mom, dad, and little one year old baby). Baby starts crying and does not stop. mom gets angry angry and eventually starts smcking the poor little defenseless baby so she will shut up. The baby gets louder at which point the mother picks up the baby and starts to shake it. At this point ths dad, who has told the mom to stop hitting the child sees what is going on a runs to the baby's rescue and smacks the mom and grabs the baby to save its potential life. HMMM? Could it of happenned that way? WE DO NOT KNOW!
  • I don't know what you did to get hit, but let me tell you something if he has long hands I would wash his clothes in fiberglass especially his underwear and put visine in his coffee for the runs....
  • I only see two alternatives. One, counseling, with #2 kept as an option. Two, leave him.
  • Get the hell away from him, I just saved a little girl from her abusive father and if I can help you I will, but because I'm not there, I'm going to tell you to get away because there is no excuse for hitting someone you love
  • Leave him. You don't want your children growing up thinking that physical abuse is normal..
  • You should get out. My cousin had a husband like that--he'd beat her and cheat on her. She stayed, hoping he'd change, and she's far worse off for it.
  • He is only showing who he really is.you should get away because he hasnt doe anything that brutal to you as yet,the cries are just a show and for the record there is nothing any woman can do to deserve that thier husband beat them nothing.I've seen it not once or twice,he will do it again and apologize in the nices.You need to love yourself and if you have kids worst you should respect them
  • If he hit you, and then blamed you for making him do it, it will happen again.
  • RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!! FAST. . . .LONG. . . .NOW!!!!!!!!!
  • Why did he blame you? Try and keep fights calm and assertive, not provocative... You got to be firm with him. If he hits you again, you're out of there. Don't think about whether taking a stance is attractive or not, it's black or white. You don't want to be stuck in an abusive situation. Most likely, he'll get it and not touch you like that again, but if he does, that obviously reflects on the love he has for you. He needs to refrain taking out any physical frustration on his wife - there is NO excuse for that. I assume you've never seen this side of his character before?
  • You never hurt the person you love. You two are in an adjustment period. all new couples go through this period. I am puzzled as to why he hit you and it was your fault. Please tell us more. I am not condoning assault of any type. Giving him one more chance, may be in order, depending on your response and the circumstances surrounding the assault.
  • I have been with the same man for years now. I have pushed his buttons, been argumentative and through it all HE HAS NEVER HIT ME. It is not normal behavior, you have to protect yourself or ask yourself "whats wrong with me" IF you are not going to get help or get out of there. AB is not help, its just a wake up call. Good Luck!
  • Hi,I have been in that situation and please let me tell you,people don't change.As much as you love him and want to believe him,he's lying.You have a low self esteem about yourself but please don't forget who you are!!If they hit you once,they will do it again.I would say he has no relation with his own mother.You may get a million answers but only you can do what you think.I personally think you know the answer to this you just want to hear from others.You are a strong person,do what you feel in your heart.
  • They all apologize and cry the first time. And usually the second time, third time, and every time after that too. Don't let there be a second time. Hand him a kleenex, let him cry, and get out.
  • This is only a small part of the cycle of violence that has started in your relationship. Things normally don't get any better once a man hits you...they do it again, apoligize, cry, everything is good, then they hit you again and the cycle starts all over. My suggestion would be for you to take self-defense classes should you decide to stay married to him. If not, pack your things, press charges, get a restraining order, and get out. I have been in a few abusive relationships and they never get any better. Men abuse women to gain power and control over them. Get out while you still have your strengt and self-esteem.
  • Leave him now!
  • There is no excuse for a man or woman to hit their spouse. He's responsible for his actions, don't be fooled by his cowardness and controlling behavior. New husbands can easily become has beens if he mistreats you again. Don't let it become a pattern. Only he can change himself...not you. And that's only if he wants it bad enough. God bless you...
  • Hit him back, once you fight back he will back off especially if you have a black iron frying pan to smack over his head with...
  • Call the police and file charges. This is coming from a woman who was hit by a boyfriend but never by her husband of 24 years. My boyfriend cried and told me he'd never do it again either. He eventually broke my heart. He's been married three times and abused all the women he was with. Get out of this relationship. There are too many good guys who don't hit women out there to put up with his "stuff".
  • Hi, I think it is good that you are seeking advice. Firstly, your husband made a distinct decision to hit you. He then blamed it on you. This is physically and mentally abusive and he is trying to blame his behaviour without taking responsibility. My advice would be to contact a helpline and gain some insight from experts. Abusive behaviour that lasts for years and destroys, starts with one hit and apology and then mental pain. I think this is really wrong please get help. I wish you all the best take care and look after yourself. Please talk to someonexxxx
  • Get out. Leave. There is no excuse for this and it will get worse so please get out now.
  • What could you possibly have done to deserve getting hit? Did you smack him with a baseball bat first or something ... I might then understand, but still not approve :-)
  • That is the way EVERY abuser starts. If you stay, he will take it as permission to do it again. After all, if you really didn't like it you'd leave. So he will blame you for not leaving and hit you again. Get out before you end up like a Peterson bride.
  • well not knowing to complete story I will say this, its not right for a man to hit a woman BUT in some cases females do deserve what they get ... I am sorry but I do NOT believe its never a females fault.
  • 1) He hit you. 2) He's blaming YOU for HIM hitting you. Typical abuser. Get out now. He may be a wonderful boyfriend, but now he's got you by the vows (and law), and apparently, has a major anger problem. There's NO REASON ANY spouse in a marriage should hit another. The following question and answers (and poem) are from my profile. I saved them because I've answered TOO MANY abuse questions. Check them out, check out the answers, and check out the poem. Signs of abuse, even early on - http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/2872392 and http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/3766947 (controllers) Signs of abuse, and what to do - http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/3384385 Would you stay with a guy that dont treat you right just becouse you love him? - (Mostly assuming abuse:) http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/5438372 Just to make you think about abuse: A poem © 1992 by Paulette Kelly I Got Flowers Today I got flowers today. It wasn’t my birthday or any special day. We had our first argument last night, and he said a lot of cruel things that really hurt me. I know he is sorry and didn’t mean the things he said because he sent me flowers today. I got flowers today. It wasn’t our anniversary or any other special day. Last night, he threw me into a wall and started to choke me. It seemed like a nightmare. I couldn’t believe it was real. I know he must be sorry because he sent me flowers today. I got flowers today, and it wasn’t Mother’s Day or any other special day. Last night, he beat me up again. If I leave him, what will I do? How will I take care of my kids? What about money? I’m afraid of him and scared to leave. But I know he must be sorry because he sent me flowers today. I got flowers today. Today was a very special day. It was the day of my funeral. Last night, he finally killed me. If only I had gathered enough courage and strength to leave him, I would not have gotten flowers today.
  • Go to a battered woman's shelter and get help!
  • He maybe got so mad he couldn't control himself and unleashed his anger on you. But then crying and then saying it's your fault I don't know what happened so I'm not saying anything.
  • 2 words for you..LEAVE HIM. It will only get worse and, according to him, while always be "your fault". Leave him while you can. A very good friend of mine killed herself for her abuser...please...if you value your life at all...just leave.
  • if you need to be told "leave now" again, you're looking at the wrong comment. Your relationship is yours. Yes, you can listen to other people's opinions, from a snap shot line you've written, but noone knows your relationship with your husband like you do. What can you do? 1)Leave, never come back 2)Leave, eventually come back 3)Stay, hope it gets better But think about the situation for a second. Is what he did illegal, immoral, irresponsible and cowardish? Yes, all of those. Is it justifiable? No. Do what youre brain says is right, because listening to your heart might, or might not, destroy the rest of your life and any ounce of respect you have for yourself.
  • welll the fact that he cried shows you that some part of him must care...somewhat but thats NO excuse for hitting a female! most men who hit females are a sad excuse for a man and usually wont pick a fight with another mann and pick on people weaker than him (you) and there is NO reason that he should be blaming you cuz for one, he is NOT your father, parent or any of that. the marriage papers did not sayy that anyone was gonna be hitting anyone honeyy so obvisouly he needs some help....
  • I had the identical experience, except she never cried to this day blames me for her hitting me. Go figure. What's worse, other people are on her side, as if I deserved to be hit because of something I said or didn't do right. Anyway, when she refused to accept full responsibility for hitting me, I called it quits. She got the short end because I earn about 4x what she does. She's now a struggling almost divorced woman, but she asked for it. As for me, I found out that there are plenty of nice single women out here, and I'm having a great time!
  • Leave now! When a man hits you once, he will do it again.
  • this is irrepairable, go now, IT WILL get worse
  • HIt the SOB back with a f-----ing ball bat.
  • Please do not let him hurt you or control you! If you feel he will do it again then find someway to get away from him! First of all talk to someone who you can trust! They may help you to make a decision of how to handle it. No one should be treated that way! please Take care!
  • You say your newly married and I know you love him even though your hurt.I will say once a person hits you and you allow it,he will do it again.You love him sooo much that you want to believe he'll never do it again,right?Well my answer to you is,if he does it again,you and only you must decide to leave him.Most abusive partners will hit then blame you for causing it then apologize.You must know he has deep issues that he needs to get help for.Love yourself always and never let anyone make you feel worthless.
  • He needs to be punched in his face by your brother, father, uncle. Please tell someone immdediately because if you stay with him then you are as good as dead.
  • First time last time. Leave. You do NOT hit your spouse.
  • He apologized, cried and yet blames you for his violent act? Time to leave.
  • I'm going to be blunt. If he hit you once, he will hit you again. Abusers always apologize and tell you how sorry they are (to keep you roped in), but they blame you (to make it your fault). It is a cycle and I guarantee you it will happen again. You need to get out. If you contact your local domestic abuse hotline, they will be able to walk you through the steps and help you stay safe. Good luck.
  • Do not allow yourself to be blamed for his abusuve behavior. No! By no means. It's not your fault. PLEASE keep that in mind. you must seperate from him. If a man hits you once, he'd hit you again. Don't be fooled by his petty, desperate excuses. That isn't real love. You are the vivtim. Leave and seek help.
  • Leave him until he gets counseling. (!!) Its NOT your fault he hit you. It will only get worse if you let him 'get away with it' at this point, Bunnie. (!!) Go to a safe friend's home and don't return until he goes to counseling and proves to you that he's a changed man.
  • Truly sorry people don't make excuses for their actions.
  • Run for your life. Abusers do not change.
  • Reading your question was very eerie for me. That is exactly what happened to me 10 years back. Finally when he strangled and almost killed me I left. It took me 7 1/2 years of being married, and 3 1/2 years of being seperated to get there. I hope that doesnt happen to you. Please Get out now. One of the reasons It took me so long to get myself to divorce him after leaving him was that he used to keep calling me. He used to say things like, 'the only reason our son will not have a father, the only reason we are not a family anymore is because of you. It was all in your head. You blew something small onto something really big. you are mental. You need to see a shrink. My dear thats exactly how it started out for me. LEAVE HIM NOW AND DONT LOOK BACK.
  • no matter what he tells you its not your fault. my current boyfriend does really stupid shit sometimes, and then blames my attitude or something i did for his actions and i know thats not right. You didn't make him hit you. He did it on his own. honestly, you should leave, but im still here a yr later wit the same asshole, so i have no room to talk
  • It's very simple - "When someone hits you, it means they don't like you" One is the beginning of a long line of numbers.
  • i think i answered this before, but now, i just went thru something similar, he head butted me so hard in my face my nose was pouring blood. i have a fat lip and my mouth is sore, he apologized and said its never right, but he also says i push him too far, that his nerves arent to be messed with, i dont know if this is right, i dont know if its logical but i know i shouldnt b blamed, and i did not deserve it. we have been together for just more than a year and nothing like this ever happened before, but recently we brokeup for about 3 weeks n got back together ever since, hes been reacting to things completly differently and im kinda scared.......
  • It's not your fault no matter what you said or did. I would say leave & file for an annulment or divorce right away! It may be harder to do so if you wait on that, plus, you might get hurt by him even worse.
  • just get out. a man doesn't hit a woman. he's acting in a cookie-cutter fashion of abusive husbands, you are not to blame for getting hit, there is not a just cause for hitting your wife.
  • It's YOUR fault??? How was it YOUR fault...did you hit his fist with your face?? Those are not only the ones who refuse to take responsibility for their actions, but are the ones most likely to do it again....and again....and again. After all...they have the old "it's your fault" to fall back on. Speaking from my own experience...I would leave and never look back.
  • First, You are NOT to blame. Three things for you to know. 1. If he hit you he will hit you again. 2. If he lied to you he will lie again. 3. If he cheats he will cheat again. This is the reality of the situation. I get so PISSED when I hear that. If you were my sister I would beat the hell out of him. No woman should ever be hit. The guy is sick so do yourself a favor and leave now before it gets worse. DAMN IT I AM SO PISSED! Sorry but that is how I feel!
  • think of what advice you'd give someone else in that situation, now take that advice.

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