If I spent the night in another womans bed "snuggling" with her, my wife would off my ba**s. I would say this is cheating.

Um....... yes, that's cheating. Wow, this for some reason reminds me of that Massage Parlor question..............

It isn't technically cheating, if all they did was snuggle. What you should ask yourself is this, How many guys are going to just snuggle with a girl? Do you believe they just snuggled? Being tipsy, in my opinion, is not an excuse. I would be upset about my man sleeping at another woman's house and snuggling with her. Whether it is cheating or not, it is not something I would be okay with.

Think about it? = Cheating.

Duh.

One form or another of this question seems to pop up on here hourly. Here is an answer that will stifle this barrage forever (well, maybe thirty seconds): If your partner did the same thing, would you be okay with it? What is this "is it cheating or not?" question about, anyway? The distinction between cheating or not is so debated that it easily fits the "to each their own" category. Is snuggling cheating? Is sex cheating? Is flirting cheating? There are countless answers and only your answer matters. Find someone who has the same definition of "cheating" as you. According to my definition, your girlfriend should be kicked to the curb in a second. But that's me. If you're okay with that, then I wish you all the luck.

If it hurts you that she did that, then its WRONG!!! Cheating could be a million different things.

OMG YES!

I wouldn't call it cheating but it is a bad sign...I mean lets think about it...she spends the night at his house..I'm sure she knows you don't like that...and she could have slept where everyone else did....but she went in his bed...and if she knew it was wrong to be there she wouldn't have snuggled at all...cold or not...and I don't by tipsy...the goes away when you cold bro...trust me I use to drink alot before my girl friend...the only way she could say the drinking messed with her head would e if she could feel if it was cold, hot, or if she had a fat baby sitting on her head.

I wouldn't call it cheating exactly but it certainly isn't innocent. Assuming they told the truth and that IS all that happened, it is still not innocent, I doubt he would "snuggle" with a guy friend and the other way around. That is my rule of thumb, don't do something with the opposite sex that you would with the same sex, if so, that ventures into the realm of "romance." This of course, is assuming all parties are heterosexual, so no need to point that one out to me.

To me this seems very very close to the line. Umm I'd forgive her with this but I think you need to make it very clear that you it makes you very jealous and you don't think she should be doing this if she wants to be with you. The whole snuggling thing kind of puts it over the line. The only time I would accept this as a legitimate excuse is if it was so cold they where in danger of freezing to death. But like I said I'd forgive her but I'd make it clear that this isn't exactly acceptable.

Leave her. Either she's got a tendency towards infidelity, or she's massively stupid (drunk? snuggling? in some guy's bed?) Either way, you can find someone better, and you should.

I think you need to draw a firm line in the sand and communicate to her that this behavior needs to end.

Whoa. She still talks to him? At least she doesn't try to hide it from you, I guess. There is no way that's okay. She sleeps with him (given, no sex), lies to you about what she's doing and expects you to be okay with her carrying on with him? No way, man. No way!

dump the ho

in my book, snuggling is something you do with somebody you care about. the fact that she still messages him and flirts with him makes it worse. plus she lied to you when you called her. there is a good chance they didnt do anything more than snuggle, but the fact that shes playing with your emotions like this isnt right. i know guys dont open up about their emotions as easily as girls do, but you have to let her know that it isnt right.. if she was in your position, what would she do? probably leave you just because of the sleeping over, let alone snuggling AND lying AND still messaging & flirting. it sounds like you love her, maybe even more than she loves you.. i know many people who have been in HER position and i can say that she probably has a thing for this guy but still loves you. i think the only thing that would work is if she realizes your relationship is on the line because of what shes doing.

ok this is what you should do tell her to stop talking to him and messageing him or youll leave her, if she really cares about the realationship she will, if she says yes keep checking her phone for text messages for at least 3 weeks if she still has messages from him just leave her and sooner or later you will find out if she likes you enough to call you, just let her talk to you first and if she says she wants to work things out just say things wont work out if you keep talking to that guy so if you talk to him dont talk to me. Trust me man this has happend to me with me and my girl. she will whine up doing something with that guy unless you take actions, and handle this. hope it helps if you have more q's leave a comment on my answer

Never ever! is your other half meant to be sleeping with others. Even snuggling. That's preserved for you. She most probably done more than just snuggled. You should set the rules down, tell her straight, have an open conversation about the issue. And if it still continues then your best option would be to leave. Personally if it this was occurring to me, I would leave without talking. I don't tolerate such behaviour. I'm sorry to hear the news. I wish I could take you out for a few drinks and cheer you up. I hate seeing this happen in relationships. It's sad.

I hate to break the barrier and sound like a total idiot, but I say break up with her before she breaks up with you. Find a true chick that won't mess around with other guys while you're away. I would do that if I were you, anyway. However, I can't really understand your mindset because you mentioned that you love her, and I'm not going to question that bond and relationship you two have. But, I've went out with chicks who have "cheated" on me in some sort of this aspect, and I've broken up with them on the spot, because I remembered this: there are other chicks out there who will stay true for you and only you. Keep that in mind too, bro, and you'll end up living a happier, and less stressful life. That's the way mine has been working out. Good luck!

At least she told you - that suggests to me that she is honest, and that nothing happened. If she had slept with this guy, she would have told you she slept on the couch. Unless she's really cunning.... I would explain how uncomfortable this makes you feel, and forget about it. Don't forget about it though, and be aware for any further slip ups. Meet this guy and become part of their friendship circle, this may help ease any nervousness.

Something similar to this happened in October with my boyfriend and me. The only difference is that he was cuddlling with all his "best" friends and used that as an excuse even though I felt like he knew that it hurt me. I ended up ending it with him because when I tried to talk to him about it, he got mad at me and told me I was overreacting. Five days later, we decided to work things out and give it a second chance .I really love him, so I can't just leave him like that. I think this may be how you feel about your girlfriend, too. Have you guys talked about your boundaries yet? I think this is a very crucial issue in a relationship, and you both need to know where to draw the line. You sound like you're making responsible decisions and being concerned with the right things, so I don't think you're doing anything wrong. This girl needs a talking to, however! She is your girlfriend. Being in a relationship does NOT come with the freedom of being able to do whatever you want or please. In fact, being in a relationship gives the people involved EVEN MORE responsibilities than if they were single. Relationships deal with the other persons FEELINGS and making SACRIFICES. If she can't respect you enough to make sacrifices, then I think it's time to put an end to it! However, fate lies in your hands.

Yes, ask her how she would like it if it was vice versa. There is no reason to be lying in a bed with another boy that is not your boyfriend. None at all

I wouldn't say cheating but I would say it is wrong. I would not say to break up with her though. Just let her know that in you relationship you cannot deal with that sort of thing. That it bothers you to much. Tell her it is not because you do not trust her. (That will be her first thought) Tell her it's because the thought of her laying with another man kills you. (women love that) Tell her that is something that as her boyfriend only you should be privlaged with. If she does not understand that then I would talk about moving on.

..She totally let that guy slam her like a textbook, wake up dude.

Yes. Find a new girlfriend.

dump her. SHE ENJOYS HANGING OUT WITH HIM. and SHE SLEPT IN HIS BED AND SNUGGLED HIM! what else is there to see that she's going to have an emotional affair? the'll start flirting with each other and the guy will make advances towards her. she likes him, he likes her. instant relationship. bye bye, you.

dude, you dont need other people to answer this, you KNOW the answer, shes totally cheating. even if she didnt actually have sex with him, shes obviously getting emotionally involved with him. you need to dump her, if you dont, she'll walk all over you/

I was just sitting here shaking my head!!!! Are you NUTS? People that are in a reationship don't "cuddle up" with other people---they just DON'T! Are your emotions numb? Didn't your heart drop when she told you? Wake up--time for a woman that knows what a relationship really is.

it,s not cheating yet, but it could be soon

well, give her points for telling you (unless you found out from someone else?) but, i think it's very reasonable to ask that she not drink around this guy again. whatever her intentions are, his might be different.

She's done for, get rid of her. Really - it is that simple.

She's telling lies.

You know it is or soon will be in a more serious way. This is not the sign of someone that is concerned with your happiness and loyalty.

In my book yes. Just because she (according to her story) didn't have sex with him doesn't mean she didn't want to or didn't cheat on your emotions. The commitment between two people in a committed relationship is not limited to sexual intercourse. It involves emotions, devotion, love, and commitment to the person and their feelings... not just a commitment to sexual chastity. If the relationship is founded on sex, then no she didn't cheat. If the relationship is founded on love, then yes she cheated.

My opinion is that what you described is cheating, but whether it's technically cheating or not doesn't really matter. What matters is how it makes you feel. Tipsy or not, your gf either has incredibly poor judgment, or is not as attached to you as you are to her.

What a whore. I would say ditch her now, before this situation gets any worse. If you want to stay with her let her know that stuff like that is not cool with you and that you're pissed off.

yea dude that aint cool at all i really dont think you should take that shit. ask her if she would mind if you went and did that and second you need to talk to that dude and tell him to back off from her. And if she doesnt listen to you say f*** it

It doesn't matter if it's "cheating" or not. It shows that she doesn't respect you or your feelings. No woman that cares even a little about her man would do something that disrespectful. Don't be a fool man, she's playing you.

I bet it feels like cheating to you? I think this comes under the heading of emotional cheating....it isn't anything she would want you to do, if the shoe was on the other foot,(or the body in another bed), is it?

LOL....What do you think????

That's cold. I'm willing to bet he had his hands all over her.

Why are you asking this to yourself? would you tell your girlfriend that you just slept with someone and had a passionate night...but don't worry I still love you...would you expect her to trusth you?...probably not. What is coming next, she calling you for a sex position to use with 1 of her friends? You deserve much better than a little tricker who is literally asking you for permission to cheat you in front of your nose. I'm a girl and believe me...I would never do this to my boyfriend, it's just childish.

if it feels like cheating to you and you wouldn't do it then it is cheating

If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, you can be reasonably sure it is a duck.

If I were you I'd just stop answering calls from her. Ignore her entirely and don't dignify her with an answer. It's not your responsibility to babysit some idiot who doesn't understand social boundaries. And come on man, you think she's into you at all if she's even off getting into bed with other guys and thinking that's perfectly cool? She sounds immature and not into you, do your selfesteem a favor and write this one off.

Yes. It's clear to me as daylight that she LOOKS like enjoying it. Give her final word, YOU or HIM. You cannot force other's feelings and if you permit this then I can see no future awaits you with her.

dude that is a HUGE RED FLAG, of course its cheating and if she probably say no that nothing happen she did not say the truth or she dosent remember... but even so yes she obviosly likes this guy for more than a friend its writen all around it.... sorry dude

yes i would say so how do u know that was all she did....

I think she cheated on u, sorry but ive been there and ive told lil lies like that to hubby.

Absolutely not. Can't rightly blame someone for not having blankets. You gotta do SOMETHIN' to keep warm!

One word... DUH! Platonic or not, they did a LOT more than most people who have BF/GF relationships would do.

you should dump her now!!!! what if you were cold that same night??? it wouldve been nice to have her snuggle with YOU but instead she had to hel out someone else.. i dont like her and i dont think you should be with her.. she doesnt deserve you and you deserve MUCH better.

How can you tolerate that????

if my did this I would be VERY concerned. No, this isn't healthy in a normal relationship. They "snuggled" in his bed, he needs to grow up and you need to grow some self esteem and respect for yourself..this is total bullshit. What's next?

No in my opinon any swapping of any body fluids is cheating (kissing etc)

Even if she isn't cheating, that scenario is totally taking the piss out of your relationship. She needs to ask herself what she would do if the tables were turned. My girl would be in VERY serious trouble if she behaved in that way, but there is a lot to be said for her honesty - or is it excitment about meeting someone new and having to talk about it.... Tough one mate. Best of luck

Dude, I feel 4 u! Bottom line is RESPECT. U cant force her to be decent and nor should you. U can't force her to respect you. Just think to yourself "I am valuable and worth someone that will love me and appreciate MY affection and respect me enough to know this will HURT me." Maybe shes doing it as a form of EMOTIONAL abuse knowing this will unnerve you and evoke jelousy and ultimate control of the relationship. If this is the case she's what I call an AH. ATTENTION HOE. DUMP BUTTON! Save yourself the mental anguish! This relationship is toxic. Bottom line is she shouldnt spend time with other boys in their bed no matter what! It's a boundary violation to you. She's not worth your time as she doesnt respect you and is possibly a LIER!

Dude, I feel 4 u! Bottom line is RESPECT. U cant force her to be decent and nor should you. U can't force her to respect you. Just think to yourself "I am valuable and worth someone that will love me and appreciate MY affection and respect me enough to know this will HURT me." Maybe shes doing it as a form of EMOTIONAL abuse knowing this will unnerve you and evoke jelousy and ultimate control of the relationship. If this is the case she's what I call an AH. ATTENTION HOE. DUMP BUTTON! Save yourself the mental anguish! This relationship is toxic. Bottom line is she shouldnt spend time with other boys in their bed no matter what! It's a boundary violation to you. She's not worth your time as she doesnt respect you and is possibly a LIER!

...And then she just kissed him because her tongue was cold, then her boobs got cold... and his penis was really freezing, so... well, you get the idea. I noticed that this question was from last year, I'm sure this relationship is over by now. And rightly so.

Every guy I ever snuggled with, popped a boner. Boozing up never leads to cheating, its the popping a boner part if you ask me... ;) jk I'm not saying she did or not, but she should avoid the guy out of respect to you. I'm sure she'd be pissed if you handled yourself in that manner...

Haha!

yes, because the story is incomplete.

i concider it cheating.

YES! Even if you let her off the snuggling, she follows him around, she gets drunk with him, and I wonder where all that bunch of people went at bed time and how come he picked her out of all of them, to 'snuggle'. She's pulling your chain, IMHO

well i hate to be the bad guy but if she was tipsy and just snuggled that sounds a little fishy to me maybe you should ask a few more questions and i think something else happened other than snuggling

Well tell her and make this clear that she is in relationship with u and not with that guy , its first time so forgive her and she does it again then its better if u both go ur ways :) best of luck

Damn this is old. All I can say is that I hope you stopped being a fucking schmuck!

You're making this crap up. If not, you need to get a new girlfriend.

Yes it is. Time to drop her.

Does it bother you, would you care or be turned on or turned off if she were to do something with someone else? If you aren't like that then I would say yes it is or it soon will be. If she told you like it is no big deal then maybe not. You only hide what you are ashamed of usually.

dude hell yes i consider this cheating. anything that can lead into a more serious thing like sex or something is cheating. well in my opinion. look if she is willing to go that far and sleep at his house and SNUGGLE with him drop this girl. before she goes a step further.

honestly id dig into more if it doesnt sound right it usally isnt

Not cheating (yet) if that's all they did. But it means she wants a relationship with him.

well id like get out that what the dude said before is likely what happened and if u feel in ur gut somethings wrong confront her

I have a bf and a couple of guy friends that I hang out with all the time because my bf works every weekend night. One is gay, I know he is jealous of the other but tries not to show it. I like the fact that he gets jealous and I feel that he is the guy friend that every girl needs to keep her boyfriend motivated and not getting too comfortable and taking her for granted. Maybe your girlfriend is just trying to get a rise out of you and waiting for you to say WTF? Maybe she is just trying to make you think that she is desireable to others and keep your interest piqued. Just a few thoughts, maybe she's cheating it all depends on how both of you see the relationship.

Depends if the guy is gay or not. Otherwise that should raise a few eyebrows.

I don't know if it is cheating, but it is disrespect. I would never do that to my boyfriend even if nothing else was going to happen. If I found out he slept in the same bed with another girl, while he was drunk, and they snuggled I would kill him.

i have to say i'm friends with a lot of girls and they like to cuddle and hug me but we don't actually do anything sexual. So if she is just really good friends with the guy then it may mean nothing. But that gives him perfect circumstances to steal her from you.

Are you dumb, son? Yes it's cheating!

Pretty much, you can almost guarantee he copped a feel after all!

If it's unacceptable to you, it's cheating. If not, it's not.

Anyone who says it isn't cheating is messed up. THIS IS CHEATING. Emotional cheating is still cheating. Sleeping with someone (non-sexual) is not just anyone's right. It's the privilege of the boyfriend/girlfriend to be able to snuggle up next to their honey after a day of work. It is one of the benefits of being in a relationship. I don't get mad at my girlfriend (seriously, I have never been mad or upset with her once and we have been dating 1.5 years... we have a fantastic relationship), but if she ever slept in the same bed as another man (or lesbian for that matter), I would be so angry. How would you women feel if your man slept with another woman, but he said "it wasn't sexual"? You probable wouldn't believe him...

dump that bitch

dont know about you bud...but I consider that unacceptable....dont wait too long to figure out what your gonna do, or your gonna have your heart ripped out.

Sorry dude it's not good at best, genrally if you sleep with someone things happen even if you are asleep I have awakened with a woman on top of me I was asleep she was not.

She was tipsy, right?? tipsy people always tell true, but everything they do is not make sense... so, that your girlfriend and her guy were cold is true. Because of her tipsy mind, she couldn't think well, so she warm her body with the guy... of course, she did't mean to hurt you... she is not cheating, just tipsy.

ROFL Hell yes! This is a joke question, right?

Red flags: 1) "tipsy", deniability 2) "they were cold", no clothes=cold 3) " she slept", right, and I have a bridge to sell you. 4) "found a guy", why was she looking, where was she looking and why doesn't she like hanging with you? 5) "Is this cheating?"; but this is not good and is probably is innocent but doesn't look good.

I cant believe Im responding to a question this dumb. Unless this "new friend" is gay --- GET RID OF HER IMMEDIATELY! Is this behavior you really want to tolerate. Letting your girlfriend go get drunk at a party is one thing. Spending the night in his bed ther is antoher, and hime being ther "snuggling" is yet another. Why would she tell you this? Why werent you with her? Based on your brief paragraph of information --- there really isnt anything to think about -- find someone else.

i am that guy we never done anything even though we were totally pissed ........thats a funny place for a mole?

It could be problematic... If you don't like that kind of thing in a relationship. Do yourself a favor and let her down gently now. That can only become a horrible situation if she is the type to do such things just to get a rise out of you. WHy torment yourself if you have different morals?

No, I don't think its cheating, but I'd be a bit wary, she could develop feelings for him, but don't be too overbearing because it could just be nothing.

put the shoe on the other foot. If you slept beside a woman because you were tipsy and cold. Would she be happy?

That sounds like a very open relationship. It may be the start of some issues. When your girl is tipsy is she still able to say no to her new friend ? Good luck but it sounds like you need to make some adjustments in this relationship.

NO. I think you are stupid!

Were you born yesterday or just fell off the turnup truck?

yes she did cheat. shes just trying to make it sound like she didnt

i would have to say...yes in a way, a women should only sleep with the man she is with, and if she was tipsy, who knows what snuggling means.

if she was tipsy she more than likely did more, and she isn't telling you something. she probably just didn't want you to find out from someone else that she slept in the same bed as him but then again no one else knows what actually happened. she should not be snuggling with another guy when she is in a relationship! wouldn't surprise me if she has done stuff other than just that night.

i think she cheated ... like how would she feel if it was the other way around and you stayed in a different womans bed and snuggeled her???..(not saying to do that jus !). even if she didnt cheat it's weird 4 them to sleep in the same bed .. but only she and her friend knows what really happened its just up yo you if you can trust her and believe her