Won't help him to offer ultimatums. You just need to leave, he doesn't want to have what it takes or he'd be off it or at least trying to get help. You have an adult decision to make, be with the druggie or not. It's that simple. Sorry to be frank, but that's how it is.

He won't stop until he's hit rock bottom. Seems' he's working on that now, driving you away. Leave for now, and tell him you'll see him when he wants to get better.

No you did the only thing you could do. But he won't stop until he wants to.

My step brother is a drug addict. Leave him until he is ready. You may find something better along the way. Tough shit for him, don't do drugs. Lesson one. He will hit his bottom and you will be grateful you left, at least until he was done, which maybe 30 years from now.

you have done right thing, as hard as it may seem now. It may be enough to prompt him into giving up, its a good starting point for him to consider any way. Good on you for sticking to your guns, drug addiction is such a spiral into the balck hole of nothingness, in all ways :(

your a co-dependent. your just as sick as the drug addict. get help asap. dont get into any more relationships until the co-dependency is resolved.

Take a look around at ALL of the people that are in the same situation that you are. The women who stay with their boyfriends all get dragged down with him while he continuously apologizes, and swears that, "THIS time, I mean it, I'm going to quit." If you are like most peolple you can see that those other women are fighting a hopeless battle. Consider yourself 'one of those other women' and get out of this relationship. Understand that even if you voluntarily stay in this relationship, HE is being selfish for allowing you to remain in a relationship that is doomed to failure. It is time for you to be selfish, and get out for your own good. It may take some time for you to get over the fact that you love him, but when you are free of him and you can look at the whole thing from a distance, you will gain a new perspective and a new appreciation for your new direction in life.

Hey, I am in the same situation as you are.... I did make the decision to leave and let go of the relationship. He needs to get the help he needs, I am not talking just about rehab, because my ex has been to 3 of them. They need to learn how to live in the real world.... a support group, a sponsor, therapy, a church, new (good) friends, etc. But most of all, they need to do it for themselves, full time.... not for us, because they end up being resentful after a while, and as my ex said.... he became someone that he didnt know, maybe too good for himself. So my advice to you is the same I gave myself. Let him go... if it's meant to be, it will be... the right way. Give him enough time to work on his addiction, get his life in order... he may call you, show up, and beg you to get back with him (as my ex still does), but dont fall for that, because the addicts will only do it until they think they have you back.... you would not be helping him.... meanwhile, work on yourself, and why you make the choices you do. I found out a lot about myself thru this ordeal. And believe me, I was hurting so badly, I didnt want to go thru the days.... but once I let go of him, I started feeling better, like a huge weight was lift out of me. Be strong, and if you want to communicate more, we can exchange e-mails.

you did the right thing ... if i had a girlfriend she;d be the one to get me off of drugs .. but she left me when i got crippled ... bitch ... anyway ... you did the right thing, and it was the only thing you could have done ... if he doesn't see that its your problem too ... then he doesn't deserve you!

You can't change him. There's no use in trying.

You were right! If he's supposed to be with you he will do everything he can to make that happen, including get help for his addiction. He won't learn until he loses the most important things in his life. Stick to what you know is right for you.

You are absolutely right. Sometimes people need to hit rock bottom to really change. By you supporting him in quitting, it's like giving him a crutch. Be firm and strong in your decision. He'll come around when he decides to clean up his act.

You won't put up with drug use but he is now an addict? Good grief, girly! What do you think you were doing the whole time he was using? PLEASE - learn to recognize red flags in people! It will significantly raise your quality of life.

No, you are not wrong. 1000% right. You will always come last, the drugs will always be his priority just like they are right now. If he can't quit now with your support, he probably never will... you made a good decision.

If you love him let him go. Its the worst feeling, watching the man you love slowly die. Unless he gets his act together, that IS what will happen whether he wants to admit it or not. Read my previous answer to questions if you can, it explains alot. I was with a drug addict for two years, through near death and everything. Eventually I had to leave him, he could not change. And guess what.. even me leaving him did not make him quit. And we were/are still in love. In that case, watch out for yourself first, for him second. If you dont let it go now, your in for a ride worse then you could imagine. Let him go, perhaps that will make him realize how serious it is. I broke up with my man 3 months ago, because through everything, he could not quit. We dont talk anymore, Im hoping he will now start to see that he has ruined everything for himself and for me and that that will make him change. But I know it will probably take years and years. I will be here for him, when he is clean, and he knows that. Even if I have moved on and can only help him as a friend. Love cannot cure an addiction, addiction is too strong. You have to let him figure it out on his own. Hope that helps, email me if you wanna keep talking about it, Id be glad to talk to you jenna_vandal@hotmail.com

"You Choose,"... Him or You? Stick to the choice you make, without regrets!

You did the right thing.

You did the right thing. I'm a recovering drug addict, and so are my 2 roommates... and our only permanant, written-in-stone rule is that if you relapse, you pack your shit & leave... no questions asked. If you were to stay with him, all you would be doing is enabling him. If he can have you AND drugs, then why quit? Stay strong, love, and don't take him back until he's clean.

you saved yourself from a lot of pain. No matter how much it hurts if he chooses the drugs over you, it would be even more painful seeing him rotting away. In the end you'd have leave him after going thru hell.

I believe that is the best thing to do. I'm dealing with a similar situation with my fiance and his alcoholism. I told him AA or I need to pack my things and go. I can't allow myself to be continuesly hurt and brought down and involve my daughter. When he drinks its no different then being alone except now I have to deal with someone else's issues. If he wants to be a man and be there for his family he needs to face his issues so I can trust and rely on him. It's sad to let a beer, drug or porn be in the middle of what could be an awesome life-long fulfilling relationship.

I wouldn't complain specifically because he is a drug addict. Instead, complain because of some specific problem it causes.

Yeah, I agree with what I've read. The only addict who quits is the one who wants to. As long as you're there helping him (some may say enabling), he has no need to quit. There isn't really anything of direct value I can say - I've not been there on either side. All I do know is going against your heart is hard, but for both your sakes, you need to.

NEVER make an addict chose between you and the drug. chances are.. hes gunna choose the drug. and you will be hurt. and he will feel like shit. my boyfriend is a heroin addict. i wont give up on him & i wont give in either. truth is... right now... he loves that drug more than you. you have to accept that and help him.

There is some very good advice here. Have your tried an intervention program? Is he willing to go to rehab? Give him all the support he needs while encouraging him to get help. Find out about programs that will help you to understand his addiction. Ultimately, it is only you can decide if you want to share your life with a drug addict.

You weren't wrong. If he values your relationship enough he should want to do better for himself. It's not like he can quit overnight, but he can at least start taking steps to become a healthy, non-addicted person. It'll take time and it'll be hard, but it'll all be worth it in the end. Peace.

A drug addiction is something that is hard to give up, you supported him and now you want him to choose. you can love someone and not be with them but if something happened to him and you could of helped avoid it, would you feel responsible? i think you should ask yourself that, and ask yourself could i really have helped him if you really wanted to leave?

You are not wrong. He has to decide to get clean by himself and until he does that, he will only hurt you. It's not right for you to have to live that way.

I would say that you should stand up for what you believe and need. Don't stay JUST to help HIM. IF you stay, it's because he asked you to because he wants your help. If you stay and nothing changes, what's the point? Then he wins, he gets you and his drugs. And it can't just be you helping him. You need to get support in your helping him, like from a professional. The things you two might see as help might not be. The more eyes on the situation offering insight helps. But that's just what I would do.

Its so easy for me to congratulate you and say: well done! But I am in the same situation and I do not know what to do myself..Its so hard...

Call STEVE WILKOS OR MAUYR shows. They are helping lots of people out there. God bless you.

no you were not wrong! i did the same thing and if he chooses the drugs over you obviously he dont care that much

Im in the same boat. We just bought a house together (my mistake) and he wont leave. I know if I leave he will lose the house and thats is pretty much the only reason I am still here. I want to hang on to the house so that IF he gets clean we haven't lost everything we've worked for. We fight Constantly and Im miserable. If he would just leave until he gets clean, my life would be complete- however I don't see him giving up that easily.

No I don't at all think you are wrong. I am in the same boat my boyfriend is a drug addict and is back to pills and weed. I am unsure of what to do because I feel like I need to stay and I feel like I was put in his life for a reason. I love him with all my heart and would do anything to help him get his life together. He seems to stay on a straight road for about 6-8 months then falls right back into it. I just found out the other night that he was back into it. It's like this either way you are in a lose, lose situation and hurting either way because when you are with him and see what he is doing to himself and knowing you hurt and when you aren't with him and if you break it off you are hurting and wondering what if. So, it's hard I know because I am unsure of what to do and need some guidance on what to do. But, he isn't going to change till he wants and yes he probably really does love you just like I believe my boyfriend does me but, he lose that addiction more and that high more.. it's something I guess I will never understand. Good luck!

When parents do the same thing, it is called "tough love". . You can't help him until he is ready to accept that he has a problem and to accept your help. . He is ruining his life and there is no benefit or moral requirment to ruin your's as well by staying with him. . Be strong! Please accept my wishes for things to turn out for the best for both you and your bf.

If it's something you can't stand and it's ruining your feelings for him and everything. Then no you weren't wrong. +5

Loving people isn't always glamorous. Helping people through addictions means experiencing setbacks and dealing with the consequences of poor choices.

uhhh! yah you were wrong!! did you fall in love with a drug addict or did he just jump up and become an addict one day? dont try to change people

It counts on what you consider a drug addict. If he was just smokin a little weed, YOU HAVE DONE A TERRIBLE THING!! But, if he was shootin heroin or smokin meth then he is a fuckin deatbeat and you shoulda left him long before he said i promise

You have done the right thing...for both of you.

You wouldn't want to make babies with drug-poisoned sperm, would you?

It is the ONLY thing you should do. You have courage that most lovers do not come near to having. They drag the relationship on because they cannot bear to leave the one they love. The trouble is this is NOT the person you loved. This person has been taken over and will continue to deteriorate so leaving may bring a sort of wake up call to him. I doubt it, but you need to move on. You can't make a difference by being a co-dependant.

You have to stay and he has to go. his drug addiction will drag you down to his level, sooner or later. Ever heard of tough love? Find someone else. i know this is a hard thing to do, but do you want to be just another statistic in divorce? do you want your children to be effected by the drugs of this person? There is more to think about, not just the present.

i am dealing with the same thing, i tryd and tryd for so many months to get my boyfriend that i love to death to get help....he eventuly went to rehab and when he came out he said he was sorry and he thankd me bc i made him go there. so it will get better for you.

No, you did absolutely the right thing. The problem with addicts is that they are expert liars, & when push comes to shove, he will ALWAYS chose the drugs over you. All you've done is protect yourself, & if someday he gets clean, maybe you can work things out then.

you made a wise decision... women have the power to change the world..........and they can do any thing .....In the same way man will do any thing for his loved one..... so surely he will quit his drug for you .......... all the best

You're not wrong at all. And you really shouldn't beat yourself up over it, because it isn't your fault. Now, I know what you mean when you say that it's either you or the drugs that will go, because my cousin was put through the same situation by his fiance. He quit the drugs easily once she said that. I'm surprised that it didn't work though for you. So what I'd do is take baby steps into getting him to quit. Get his parents involved, because most likely they stayed out of his life (correct me if I'm wrong!). I also would be very supportive of him and his road to being drug free, and get his parents to as well. Just remember: Once you're up the hill, it's easy to go down it. Good luck!