ANSWERS: 5
  • 1- If you broke up before kissing your friend, then it wasn't cheating. You're right, he's wrong. 2- If he doesn't invite you to anything he does with his friends, dump him -- you're just a convenience for him, not a real soul mate or partner. Note: 95% of these kinds of questions will answer themselves if you ask yourself "am I being respected by this person in this situation?"
  • To attempt to answer the original Q and several follow-up Qs in comments: When you break up, then you break up. Your heart is *always* your own, even when you "give it away", but when you break up (and especially when "the other" breaks it off with you), then "the other" has no claim on it at all. So for him to say that "you cheated" after he broke up with you (I'm assuming here) is nonsense. For him to not include you when he has his other friends around should set off alarm bells. Is he ashamed of his relationship with you? Or with them? If he's treating you badly and you let him, then no one telling him "you're treating her badly" will have the least effect. He'll do what he can get away with. In fact, we all do that to some extent, but most of us have a sense of fair play and a conscience that also tends to modify our behavior and inhibit us from taking full advantage of others most of the time. If he has no conscience, or if he believes that the world revolves around him, which amounts to the same thing, then there aren't any internal limits to his sense of entitlement and greed, and he will take and take and take until he is forced to stop by some outside agency. I'm going to take a stronger line than HasntBeen here: I don't think such people are capable of "love" as you and I know it. I love my girlfriend. This means that I go out of my way to make her feel good, to feel loved and secure, and to let her know -- constantly -- how proud I am to be with her. I don't want her to feel guilty or ashamed about anything she does; I like her just the way she is, and any way she chooses to become. I love "her", not "owning her" and not "controlling her". If she weren't with me by choice, then I'd let her go. The only way to stop being the one controlled by such a one as you describe is simply to leave. There's no sharing with him.
  • he is cheating by not inviting you over to meet his friends.
  • You and your boyfriend no longer together you were single. You could kiss whomever and however many you want - and it is not cheating.
  • Nope, you sure didn't. You did absolutely NOTHING wrong. Let me repeat that. NOTHING wrong. To even entertain the possibility that you did is laughable to the point of absurdity. What you're dating is called a narcissist, someone who puts him or herself first before anything else. If he broke up with you, consider yourself lucky you shuffled loose such a toxic element in your life relatively unscathed.

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