What's a Good excuse to tell my boss why I am late to work today?
by 
TjoeBaxter is Hot Yo
ANSWERS: 77
-
Tell him it's my fault and that you were looking for naked turban pictures for me. LOL The truth will set you free!!!!!!
-
Tell him your dog ate your inhibitions.
-
You had diarrhea. Bosses never question that... I don't think they want to know any more details!
-
Nothing works better than the 'explosive diarrhea' excuse.
-
Traffic.
-
say your not late and tell him he just arrived early
-
You couldn't find your car keys.
-
You were held up because his daughter wanted you to have a condom before the two of you had great sex together!
-
Here's mine: 1.Flat tire (you also have to have a "getting it fixed" story in case he sees your car and sees that you don't have a donut on it) 2.Didn't feel good, but you took some meds and you feel bettah. (This one makes him/her glad that you came on in.) 3.You had to talk to your childs teacher. 4.Your child told you at the last minute that you had to take 25 lightbulbs and 13 cupcakes to school for a project and they HAVE to have it today. 5.You're just lazy and didn't feel like hurrying. 6.You hate him and your job and are in no hurry to get in there and spend more time than you have to at that hideous place.
-
Well you just drank way too much and have puked 3 times since you tied your shoes.
-
a hemorroid flareup is rarely questioned
-
I'm not sure.......but I am a manager and the best "request-off" I ever received was one that said....."I will need the next two weekends off because my uncle will be going into a coma"...... I told him that was "pretty serious".....and he should probably just take the rest of the season off (It was a restaurant in a tourist town.)
-
Tell him you met a guy at the end of the night took him home, he claimed to be college educated but do you think he could set an alarm clock?
-
You stank the train out so they threw you under a water hydrant to get rid of the smell .
-
I go with the truth. That way you don't have to worry if it comes up again in the future.
-
Tell him that you ran out the house with no panties & had to go back to get'em.
-
Your patriotism got the best of you last night, and you felt you had to stay up late to support and cheer your country in the Olympics.
-
You slipped and fell in your shower or tub and it took you awhile to get up and for the pain to stop.
-
got caught by a train?
-
I had a saying. Since I used all my sick days, I am calling in dead.
-
Tell him you really apprecieate the one on one time you get when you have to discuss why you are late.
-
Tell him the truth .. he'll appreciate your honesty .. eventually :)
-
Tell him that you put your shoes on the wrong feet and found it impossible to walk.
-
Nobody believes the diarrhea excuse-overused. Use something more realistic to happen. Power outtage at the appartment complex caused the elctric gate not to open, until maintainence arrived to maually disconnect the chain.
-
I don't know how "difficult" your boss is, but I think honesty is still the best policy. Tell your boss the truth.
-
Well if your going to be late. Stop at the nearest donut shop and get donuts for your coworkers and your boss. Tell your boss it took longer at the shop then you thought. I use this all the time.
-
You HAD to see if the gymnasts would win a medal, and stayed up too late. The one I've always wanted to use for staying home was one I saw on an old list: "Yes... I'm not coming in today... I'm calling in well". (If you use it and it works, let me know!) Your dog barfed all over your clothes as you were saying goodbye to him, and you had to change (or wash some).
-
Here's one one of my young sailors used with me many years ago: "I got laid last night. I haven't gotten laid in two years." It worked.
-
A friend of mine once shared with me the best excuse ever: explosive diarrhea. Nobody will question it because it's kind of gross, and it's doesn't have any outward signs.
-
your monthly "friend " is visiting and you ran out of necessary items and had to go to the store..you had horrible cramps and had to stop and get medicine for it. there was a car accident and traffic was backed up for miles
-
If you are a woman that best excuse that I can never fight with as a man is "my period started in the car, and I didn't have any pads, and had to return home to clean up and get my pads." I can't say anything to that except oh, okay.
-
You could claim that you went out to lunch yesterday Brazilian BBQ and ate far, far too much meat...because of this you are now in the throws of full-blown meat induced dementia and are hallucinating wildly thus you are a danger to all those around you until you can digest the meat brick in your gut...
-
Back problem. It wouldn't get off your bed.
-
say a alien abducted your car
-
Did the one you used last time work? Try it again?
-
Just keep saying you wouldn't believe it. Then all at once reach upon your shoulder and act like you are picking somehting off and holler I have told you to get off me and throw it in the floor and act like you are stomping on it. Then smile and tell him you just would not believe it. mr Bill
-
What i think you should say is that you should be like im so sorry i ran out of gas or make up a car trouble storyy hhahah
-
You got a late piece of tail and it was sooooooo good that you forgot what time it was
-
what excuses have you used thus far? ... you had a fender bender. you hit a cat crossing the street. you found a lost dog and wanted to drop it off at shelter/reunite w/owner. you had diarrhea. you're electricity went out. you didn't get sleep b/c of a terrible migraine, finally took some excedrin and fell asleep at 3am.. ..hmmm...i think i could do this all day...
-
you pooped your pants on the way to work and had to go home and change clothes.
-
I always go with horrible bodily functions. Women can talk in detail about their period cramps and bleeding while men can discuss horrible diarrhea. Women can use the diarrhea excuse if they've recently used the period excuse.
-
My alarm clock malfunctioned
-
i set my alarm clock for 6:30pm not 6:30am by mistake!
-
the neighbours had a house party it ended with gardas being call at 3am . sorry i slept it in it wont happen again
-
I saw in my rear view that there was a cop car coming up behind me and I pulled over, but as it passed me I learned that it was actually the head of a funeral procession, so I had to wait for like forty cars to go by before I could pull out. Someone important must have died - did you read the obits on Sunday? I'm just curious who it was.
-
Tell him you had explosive diarrhea....
-
By night, you are a superhero, fighting the good fight for truth, justice and honour, and you had a busy night.
-
Sorry Mr. Boss, I just decided to be late today and there was nothing you could say to change my mind...want a bagel? Oh wait, you said GOOD excuse. my bad :)
-
No matter what you tell them, if you add "and please don't tell anyone. I'd be embarrassed" makes them believe you and now they are your ally.
-
sorry im late i ate something from taco bell and it made me throw up and i still am can i go home early if i do lol
-
i went to fart when i was in my office...but it wasnt a fart...it was blood.
-
Blame it on the bridge if you have one... the traffic if you dont.
-
You're wife kept me up last night
-
tell him the truth
-
How about "i got pulled over for ...,but the officer let me off easy"
-
the weather its snowing traffic delays
-
You overslept.Try the truth he will not believe you anyway if you make up stories.
-
That donkey punch last night really made it hard to get ready this morning.
-
My pet dragon escaped as I was walking out the door early this morning and I can't just let him terrorize my neighbours while I'm at work. That would be a bloody mess. So I had to spent and extra half an hour trying to catch him with a chain link lasso.
-
You stopped to help an elderly woman change her flat tire. Untraceable, chivalrous, beyond reproach! If additional proof is needed, rub hands across your own tire before heading to office. Dirty hands will reinforce your story.
-
My valuable fish jumped from the fish tank and landed on a light and caught fire... when they do that they make alot of smoke with little flame so just use some matches or a sentless candle to get a smokey smell..
-
"I might be pregnant..." look really really concerned and if you're a good actor, try to get a little teary-eyed.
-
Bring breakfast for the office, this one NEVER fails...
-
"I've got blood in my stool." [Answer inspiried by Spishak, Inc.]
-
Tell him that you we're too caught up feeding your pet giraffe. i'm sure he/she will understand because giraffes are awesome
-
for me dis one really worked... there was a leakage in the bathroom in the morning..so i had 2 call a plumber to get it fixed.. :)
-
There's 8 inches of snow on the ground.... hehehe. That would work today. :-)
-
I couldn't face looking at ur ugly mug any eariler than this.
-
your wife/husband didnt complain!
-
my house burned down
-
if you are a guy say your dog peed on your suit pants and you needed to re-shower and change, or if you are a woman that your ring fell down the sink hole and you had to open the pipes to get it back
-
you got pulled over by a cop. tell him the sob story of how you were so scared because you were speeding trying to get to work on time. and, by the way, the reverse works for cops. tell them that you're going to be fired if you're late to work. say that because you got pulled over, you're already late and will get fired. they'll feel so bad that they will just let you go without a ticket. true story. :D
-
Would it be easier to show up to work on time instead of putting alot of effort into an excuse on being late? If it isnt easier then keep an emergency set of clothes. Charcoal lighter fluid and a lighter. Burn clothes for 2 minutes. Put on clothes. Enter work and excuse solved.
-
you had to get your children to school becasue they missed the bus and your husband had left already for work. (this may not fit your situation but play around with it) Or you could say you were having a bad hair day and wanted your hair to be decent for work.
-
How about the truth?
-
True story. I had the runs and shit myself driving to work. Went home and told my boss what happened. He just told me to stay home.
-
If you are a female, just say you are having problems with your uterus. Most men get embarassed and do not want to continue the conversation, most women will understand.
RELATED QUESTIONS
Copyright 2023, Wired Ivy, LLC