ANSWERS: 18
  • Im so sorry about what happened to you. Nobody deserves to be raped. Not every guy is like that,there are some good guy still out there. You're gonna have a hard time trusting guys,after what happened to you,and that completely normal,because I wouldn't be able to trust guys either.If you want a boyfriend just make sure he a good guy,and you'll be able to trust him. Good luck. :)
  • I know how you feel, I was raped too... I have the same problem so I can't really give you any good advice. Well every guy isn't like that though, kay?
  • Just take things slow. Maybe try having a guy as a friend first to see if you can be comfortable. Then move on from there.
  • Please talk to a counselor. You should be able to get one through your school. They will help you to work through that terrible experience so that you can move forward with your life and learn to build normal relationships. Good luck!
  • Don't let the actions of just one SOB (who I would personally like to meet) ruin your life. And if anyone EVER attempts to do something similar string him up, have abolutely no mercy on him. People are generally good. There are always a few who aren't the norm. It can rob you of your ability to see others as good, decent people who would care deeply for you and love you in ways you couldn't imagine possible. I'm sorry to hear of what happened but don't allow that to be what you see in people. We always have to be on the lookout for deviant people but they are few. Regretfully, the actions of just one can cause emotional damage that lasts a lifetime. Try to rise above it so you can move forward and find a good man who will show you love and ejoy life as it should be enjoyed. I wish there was something I could do to erase what happened but it happened and it can't be chaned but it can be overcome. Be strong and build your trust in people. At your age it may be better to wait a few years. Guys your age may have a hard time appreciating what happened and may not show the maturity to support and help you through this. Take your time. When you are ready you will know.
  • i agree u need 2 talk 2 a counseller.as a guy all i can say is how bad i feel 4 u havin that happen 2 u.not all guys will hurt u but i think the idea of u bein m8s with a guy first and workin that way will work out best 4 u.gd luck.
  • i was raped aswell when i was 12 (by a close friend of the family).. i know how you are feeling.. i found it hard to trust and i pushed everyone away.. in the end i thought this is not how i wasnt to live.. and i opened up and begint to talk about my passed and it helped heaps..
  • I would say that you just need to look in the right places for better chances of getting a stand up guy that you need. Church guys are right up your alley, and no, not all of them are straight laced and hypocritical!
  • heartless bastard here. apathy heals all wounds but only if you can truely be apathetic which I have never met anyone else who can. he hurt and violated you and there was nothing you could do and no fault of your own... if you fail to live because of it that is your fault. first off, go for the guys other girls are not going for (unless the apparent reason is that they are bad), that is where the quality usualy is. remember, you can not let a horrific event that did not kill you be the end of your life... especialy when that event was so near the beginning.
  • Wow! Jst know that not all guys jst want that one thing. Make sure you find sumone who cares for you. N if he wants to meet your parents n tlk to your family, then he should be a keeper. Jst make sure that your sure bout him tho
  • i'm sorry to hear this but you need to do whatever feels right for you. you may "want" to have a boyfriend but you may not be ready to. don't force it, once the right person comes along it will be all good. you need to concentrate on healing and taking care of yourself.
  • I work with a lot of kids your age that have had similar experiences and the first thing I want to tell you is while you may not feel it, you're not broken. You're not damaged. You are still lovable. It sounds like you've associated your rape experience with sexual behaviors and intimacy. Considering that the experience of rape is all you know in the matter, that is perfectly normal - as if the fear. You're protecting yourself and that is normal too. The longer you hold on to the trauma the more it is going to delay you in growing into the kind of woman you want to be. What I am saying is that it sounds like you're intelligent and introspective- acknowledge the usefulness of your self-protective behaviors and also that you are ready to take more conscious control over them. Think of your self-protection as a bullet-proof vest; you can take it off if you wish. You are in control of your life - the person who raped you is not. I would suggest, as others have, that if you find yourself completely unable to manage your own fear response in this matter then professional help can be useful. I wish you luck.
  • i cant even begin to imagine what youve been through but can i suggest counciling
  • don't worry i'm 16 n i berly have my 1st bf cuz i had the same problem i was raped when i was 5 by my cousin n his friend but i found out i can trust him n i told him what had happen n he takes care of me n always makes me feel protected n he will not do anything 2 hurt me so just don't be 2 scare i know is realy hard but ul'l find a guy that ould help u get over that feer (if u have anymore ? about this led me know maybe i can help u sence i when trough the same thing)
  • There are good and bad boys, but you have to date and choose a nice good guy, who take care of you, respect your feelings, love you and not using you just for sex.
  • i know what your feeling, i was raped as well but eventually with time and someone to talk to u will get through it
  • You need to get out there. Not all guys are creeps like that. i know how you feel i have serious trust issues to. and im really sorry for what happend to you. nobody deserves that.
  • I was raped at 5 by my dad and abused in other ways too but I was then raped again as an adult but I never gave up on finding a man who loved me for me and would be patient & understanding and I found a sweet heart who told me he'd wait for me to feel comfortable before we got really close but we talked , when out did everythikng togther and I trusted him in a physically way but I did lose him due to something I though he did not related to our love. I was wrong th ought. True love can help...you will find him. i KNOW HOW BAD YOU HURT.

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