ANSWERS: 43
  • There is nothing wrong if you would initiate a call and ask if he's doin alright. You could also try telling him that you're worried about him. If he says, he's ok and still continues to do the same thing, then there really is something wrong. You may want to have a heart to heart talk with him to end your doubts or you may want to keep your distance and give him time and space to reflect for awhile. As for me, 3 or 4 days without calls or email is too long for me.. maybe a single call from him will at least complete my day and assure me that we're still doin ok.
  • I would say the fact that he goes 3 or 4 days without calling you is VERY strange. As I once said in another answer on this site, I always call my girlfriend AT LEAST once a day, and that is IF I don't have regular contact with her throughout the day, whether it be through text-messaging on the cell-phone, instant messaging on AIM, or having her call me. But basically in a relationship it is customary and courteous to call at least once a day...since he's going a few days at a time without call I would say that's definite grounds for suspicion. My question is: do you call him every day? Many times if one person in a relationship calls the other at some point in the day, the person who received the call may feel it isn't necessary to make another call later. But then again, if you're only going to take to your significant other once in a day and forget about him/her for the rest of it...why be in a relationship? Regardless of whether or not you call him daily, his streak of not calling you is definitely bad. It may be that he is cheating...its a very good possibility. But he may not be cheating, either...which would mean that he is working or falling asleep. But honestly, is it that hard to take a brief 5 minute break and give you a call while he is at work, or call you before he goes to sleep? It sounds to me like he doesn't even care enough about you to give you the 'daily call'. You should confront him about it. Be prepared for a fight, but confront him anyway. since this is clearly bothering you, you should be entitled to know why he is not bothering to call you. If he continues his story of 'I was working' or 'I fell asleep', then ask him why he doesn't care enough to call you when he has a spare minute at work or when he gets home. This may seem underhanded, but if you suspect he's cheating, have a friend that he doesn't know too well try to keep a tab on him when he gets into his streak of not calling you. But don't do that right away...the best thing now would be for you to confront him about this and let him know that it bothers you that he doesn't call. Even if I was in a really bad mood, dead tired, or busy at work, I would always take time out to give my girlfriend a call. Everyone is different, but this behavior is strange. Don't be paranoid and don't start spouting accusations, but definitely let him know that this is bothering you and you want to do something about it.
  • I don't think this is that unusual, particularly if you are in a fairly new relationship- he may well be telling the truth anyway- guys do fall asleep and work, after all! Don't bother him too much about it or he'll start to think you don't trust him. Instead, if you want to speak to him, learn how to use the buttons on your phone and CALL HIM!!!!!
  • my boyriend does this to me occasionally. and it drives me insane with insecurity, because it feels like he is IGNORING ME FOR NO REASON. but i got a reality check when i too began to be too busy working or too tired to respond to his calls or texts. so i now have changed my old opinion that "one can ALWAYS make time to say hi if they are in a relationshp" because shit does happen. however if a week goes by, you need to confront him about that stuff.theres no excuse for not responding within a week if you are not mad. long distance is hard to deal with no talkng for a couple of days.
  • I would like to know the same thing. expect my bf wont call me, for now 11 days. :( so if you hear anything, contact me. maybe they are both doing the same thing. :)
  • If you really mean something to this man(??) then he should contact you more frequently then every 3 or 4 days. I think he shows he true colours everytime he takes these lapses. Does he contact you when he wants to get together or does he ever call just to talk?? That will give you an answer as to his real feelings.
  • He's lying. Plain and simple.
  • I think you are actually suspecting the worse and not willing to put it into words because you are afraid your worse fears may be true. If this is true, you need to tell him that you are only asking him because you care about him and the relationship and you need to know if he is alright. Try not to accuse him of anything. If you are wrong you will be showing him you dont trust him. If he is falling asleep, perhaps he needs to see a doctor or think about how to cut back on activities that are tiring him out so much that he falls asleep and cant be there for his girlfriend.
  • move on...
  • It depends. If it is a normal pattern in your relationship then if you want to change the pattern of your relationship, talk to him. However, if its a sudden development, then theres a problem or underlying reason, and if you dont beleive what he is saying you will need to confront him about it and ask for a straight answer. If he refuses to give one, then maybe its time for you to reevaluate your position in the relationship.
  • I think that this is something that is more about him than you. I wouldn't take it too personally, because people do have a life, and it may be that he is frequently busy or doesn't always have his phone avaliable. So my advice for you is to not let it bother you - instead, give him a three day contract - and if he hasn't call by then, consider that a reason to end the relationhip. I know it hurts, but I doubt anyone is that busy where they can't pick up the damn phone and dial your number at least once in a while.
  • I too am experiencing a similar situation and he says he is working and if he calls I will talk up his entire break, so he does not bother calling. When he is driving home from work, no call for no apparent reason. When he gets home he is too sleepy and tired to say hi. I would say like my situation he is just tired of the relationship and too afraid to say anything so he will just let the relationship die down.
  • On the other side of the coin.... I was with a guy for nearly 7 years.. he was texting me three or four times a week and we saw each other at least once a week. However, when I text him to tell him i thought his feelings were changing towards me he never contacted me again. I have tried to contact him on several occasions and I have got nothing back from him. That was almost 3 months ago so I guess that is that. So I guess my point is that it doesn't matter on the amount of contact they have with you providing they are honest and thats something you have to find out.
  • First of all he's not telling you the truth...when a guy/girl starts with that stuff you can leave the relationship as soon as possible because if you don't do it he will finaly do it believe me....somethings definitly going on....and it's not something good girl....
  • IM in the same situation as you, but its worst for me,he only rings me once a week! At first i thought all sorts of thinks like-hes with someone else,hes using me, hes not bothered etc,,,lots of reasons,so twenty years on and im still awaiting his calls. He did once tell me that im the only girl he had ever loved! Some men just like there space and prefer to call just once a week it depends on there personality. To me it turnes out that he doesnt want commitment or children etc, he cant cope with all this .Maybe your guy is like my guy, he loves you but doesnt want the predictable relationship that normal lovers have! I think you need to make a choice, ask yourself can you put up with this (LIKE I HAVE DONE) OR GET OUT QUICK,i couldnt,my love was to strong. Dont get me wrong im not that sad,i did darte other men whilst seeing him, but never got it together, maybe deep down w are just two of a kind...commitment phobiacs! you do what you think is rite, but dont waste time if you want to start a family else youll regret ever meeting this guy!
  • I wouldn't worry about it too much. he probably did fall asleep. or is working. so dont worry. unless theres another reason your worried..?
  • Ive been with my partner for almost 4 years and have come to the conclusion that some men simply dont like talking on the phone. I love talking on the phone, and can talk for hours on end BUT women and men are different. Its crazy to jump to the conclusion that he must be cheating of lying. One every 3-4 days is ok i guess. Do your own thing and dont become dependant on his calls. Give him space and use your space on yourself. Go out, have fun, read a book. Time makes the heart grow fonder...
  • He's cheating on you. Dump him.
  • Sounds like you don't trust him which means you have had other occasions where you didn't think he was telling you the truth. Without trust there is no relationship and it doesn't matter if he was indeed working or falling asleep. No matter what he says is the reason, you don't believe him. If you don't believe him then you don't trust him. Perhaps this relationship should end.
  • It is very possible that he does not like talking on the phone and is just super tired after working. What kind of job does he have anyway? Why don't you go visit him?
  • follow him!
  • he's a bf hon - not a husband . Either you trust him or you dont. DOnt ask but tell him how you feel, then go with that .
  • 3 or 4 days is too much. A man should call at least once a day.
  • I am a man in a woman's body... let me clarify what this means... I am a straight woman that tends to think more like a man. My girlfriends always call me for advise after they've spoken with other women because they want a non-emotional (a/k/a man's point of view). I would ask yourself a couple of questions and be as honest with yourself as possible. How long has he been your boyfriend? If it has been a few months, then I believe that some women tend to be wayyyy ahead in the relationship timetable then the men. They may not be in the same place as you; therefore, you may want to get a better understanding of where he feels you both are in the relationship. If you have been together for 6 months or more, then I would agree that something is off. If he used to call you every day but has stopped, then you deserve to know what is going on. Don't accept his excuse of working or he fell asleep (especially if he isn't returning your call). I work upwards of 70 hours a week because I am self-employed and I make time for my boyfriend because I want to talk/see him. I would just have the conversation with him and let the chips fall where they may.
  • Get out because he has lost intrest. Belive me I know.
  • I am going through a similar situation. My boyfriend spends days without calling me. We go to college together and have all of our classes with eachother so we see each other everyday, but I always make sure to call him once before or after class. What bothers me is that if I don't call him, we wouldn't even talk out of class unless I was spending the night at his place. Another thing that bothers me is that during the break we do not talk to each other much. I don't have his house number, but he has mine. He lives in another country, so we usually communicate through emails or skype, but even then he would not login for days straight. He tells me that I am very important to him. He has even metioned the L word once or twice, but sometimes I feel that he doesn't care about me, that he just cares about what he gets from me. Sometimes i'm confused about the way he acts because when we are together he treats me really nice, but if i'm not there I feel like he's not even thinking about me. IDK if I'm just crazy now. what do you guys think?
  • Be mature and talk to him about it. If that doesn't work keep yourself from talking to him for a couple of days. If he asks you why you haven't talked to him, he still loves you, if not you have a problem.
  • Hey! After I posted my question I just saw yours. I am in the same exact situation. My bf of 5 years goes through cycles of not calling me. He can go 3,4,5 days without calling me. Then he will call like nothing happened! I never know when this will happen either. Its not like we are fighting. We can be perfectly happy then out of now where he just doesnt call! Its so annoying and i get so upset. Then when he DOES call, i flip out. I used to try different approaches like being calm but it got me no where. Then I become the bad guy. Its so frustrating. I do know he is depressed so maybe that has somehting to do withit? I dont know...I still think I deserve a phone call. Oh by the way, he is 32! When I call his house hisparents say he is upstairs sleeping or sick or some excuse. Im so sick of it but hes my boyfriend of 5 years! How do I just end it over not calling? At the same time how can I live like this?
  • Try my approach, its practical. Baby, pick up the phone or I'll smack you upside the head. That always works for me when I'm in a bad mood. But seriously, I think some men do act that way after they have been in a relationship with someone for a long time. I guess there are things you can do as well so that he's bothered. Try not calling him back for a week and see how he likes it! After you have his attention, try to address the behavior. But I think there will always be habits that he has and you have.
  • Well mine is a long distance relationship and the only time he looks for me is when he is online. He sometimes gets offline without telling and disappear for like 12 hours then message me and tell me he's going to bed. I confronted him about it a couple of times. He changed his behaviour for a day and then do it again the next day. I am not sure how long I can put up with it but I'm definitely going to give him the red light if it continues
  • I have the same problem. My boyfriend will go days with out calling me too. Trust me I understand how absolutely annoying and how your mind wants to go to the worse place possible. I know my boyfriend will sleep for days at a time only getting out of bed to use the bathroom. But even knowing thats what's going on, I still have that little thought in the back of my head saying that maybe thats not he really is doing. If its something that he has done since you guys have been together and its not just something he recently started to do then there really isn't anything to worry about. But if he has been the type of guy who always calls then I think its time to become suspicious. I know its going to sound horrible and like you don't trust him but next time your with him see if you can sneak a peak at his cell phone and check if there are any unknown or strange numbers on his call list or texts. This might be a good sign that he is cheating. But when you go to talk to him about his not calling I wouldn't automatically jump into telling him you think he's cheating. Listen to his explanation and do it in person so you can see his body language before you start grilling him. Hope that helps.
  • talk to him about it
  • confront him about it. if his reason is good enough, then it's no problem. If he can't think of a good reason or stutters, dump him... plenty of fish in the sea :)
  • I'm feeling the same way my boyfriend has not phoned me for 5 days now and i have received one message! But at the same time he is in the RAF and i understand they get really busy, still personally it's no excuse and i am going to kick off because i'm sick of being nice! Come one girls don't you just get blooy sick of trying to be nice all the time!?
  • I am going through something similar. My friend would text/call every other day. Then he started texting everyday and calling every other day. Now he lately he texts every now and again. I started a second job and he claims he is not trying to bother me at work. (Dumb excuse but whatever) The final straw was the other day when I was suppossed to come by..he never let me know if it was ok so I sent a text and NOthing! The next day he didn't call/text and then finally(2 days later) I get a text saying "Hello". I have been going through the up and down thing with him for almost a year and I decided to withdraw myself before I get hurt. So I have ignored his stupid text and now 2 days later...I still haven't heard from him..Some kind of manfriend huh? Yeah I think the same. If a man loves you, he will move mountains for you. I know this because I think my parents are the last in love couple around. They have been together 32 years and he loves her and her the same. He does everything for her with no problem. ***Love is Easy Ladies!! If you have to work hard at it, it probably isn't love. There will be high and low points and you should stick it out but when you are the only one sticking it out..there is a problem!***
  • I would definitely be suspicious! That is too many days. You should aske him about it and if he is innocent and cares about you, he should make a change and make more of an effort to call more regularly, but if he doesnt even try to work on a solution with you, then he really isn't as interested in you as he should be and he may also be cheating. You may then want to think about leaving him to avoid continued wondering, worrying, and suspicion.
  • Girl he is not interested in you, he suppose to think of you al the time, just do a love spell on him before you lose him for good. it realy works. a simple love spell. with a pink candle and sunflower or olive oil with a rose petal . ask me i will tell you it has worked for me. but most impotantly you must love yourself and believe that everything is working in perfection and wellness good luck
  • Girl, find you another man NOW! He is no longer interested in you and unfortunately, is too much of a coward to say so. It's been too many days! It's nothing that you've done. Unless he was exhibiting this behavior when you first met, I would definately have great concern.
  • DON'T DEVOTE YOURSELF. DOES HE SEE YOU ON HOLIDAYS... WHEN YOU HAVE PLANS HAVE FUN AND TELL YOU HAVE TO GO AND DON'T CALL ........... MAN DOES NOT UNDERSTAND EMOTION UNTIL HE HAS TO FEEL IT HIMSELF....
  • If he is in the military, in a war environment this is understandable. If he is living in a normal environment...this is not a good relationship to be in. Tell him that you can't take the distance because you need him to communicate with you more..no excuses.
  • He is lying to you. He is trying to be nice about saying that he just doesn't want to talk to you. If he wanted to, he would call you after work, or before going to sleep, even just to leave a message. You are being played.
  • well follow your first insticts and dump him if you need 2 k, everything happens for a reason....
  • He is, without a doubt, in the process of dumping you. Does the boy know how to text message? Can he email? Does he have an Iphone or similar device? Dump him first...it's already a done deal.

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