Do any of you think its wrong for an 11 year old girl to STILL sleep with her parents? she sleeps in the bed during the week and on the floor during the weekends. am i wrong in thinking she needs to grow up?
by 
Because I believe
ANSWERS: 17
-
I don't see a problem with it unless the parents have a problem with it. Some families are close that way, my kids still sleep with me. My 10 ye old sleeps in her own room, only for about 2 years now. My 2 and 3 yr old boys are still in my bed. They have enough time to grow up, let the kids be kids for now.
-
I would honestly be less worried about her growing up and more worried about the parents either not letting her grow up or doing something wrong with her in the bed- at least, in the abstract like this. In some cultures, what you described is very normal; if the family is from a different culture, it might be nothing. On the other hand, you might want to ask just to make sure dad especially isn't pulling anything, or getting her ready to pull something. Especially as it matures, it at the least may be a temptation for the dad, and that's just asking for trouble. Is it the girl's free choice to do this?
-
If it works for the family, it is not a problem.
-
Some people have a 'family bed' and it can be a positive experience for all involved. However, if the parents or the child do not want this, it should end. There have been studies on this and many children who grow up in a 'family bed' household grow up to be confident and successful adults. It really depends on the reasons she is in their bed, and the circumstances involved.
-
Hey, sometimes I still sleep with my parents. im the same age. i almost never do now though. i prefer my own bed. maybe the parents should ask why she wants to sleep with them. maybe shes scared. i dunno what else. good luck though
-
If you need a vote of support, my hand is waving HIGH IN THE AIR. (If there has been a recent family trauma, she needs some professional assistance perhaps).
-
She ought to sleep by herself by now. My parents made me sleep by myself in 3rd Grade. In fact, a few 11 year olds sleep with the opposite genders at sleepovers for crying out loud (without letting the parents know, of course.) It's time she grew up. She's already in middle school.
-
See everyone seems to be outraged that she sleeps with her parents. I'm more outraged that when she doesn't, she has to sleep on the floor. That's kinda messed up.
-
I think the problem is more with the parent's boundaries than her maturity level. Children do not mature if we don't allow them too. (In other words if we always treat them like a little kid)
-
SHE SHOULD HAVE BEEN SLEEPING IN HER OWN BED SINCE SHE WAS BORN. DO YOU PLAN TO LET HER HUSBAND ALSO SLEEP WITH YOU WHEN SHE GETS MARRIED & THEN HER CHILDREN? GET HER OUT OF YUR BED AND INTO HER OWN ASAP.
-
she needs to grow up big time
-
The parents need to lay down the law and should have done so years and years ago. They will have quite a battle on their hands. They are not doing their daughter any favours by not letting her learn to sleep on her own.
-
Wow....I would have made sure she slept in her bed from the beginning, and on OCCASION...if shes scared SUMTIMES...till at least...3..4...But besides that, that is WAY TO MUCH. how can anybody have a sex life? That girl is gonna get real messed up in the head when they make her sleep in her own room.
-
I was raised by parents who in not that way, but in many others used me as a wedge between them and a reason to connect them... when it was convienient for them. COnfusing and tormenting me. Oh...I was always their excuse when things went wrong too. it is not fair to her... You are supposed to be the adults who guide her and teach her which includes helping her get over HER issues...not making her justify yours!
-
I think you should make her sleep herself. To do that, you should give her some presents related to her own room.
-
Yes, I do think it's wrong. At 11, she should be wanting a bit of privacy herself. And since there's more than one child involved, as you've indicated by your comments, it has an effect on everyone. Sounds like she's a manipulator and they need to stop enabling her. Good luck, it sounds like her attitude causes more than just that one issue in your family.
-
I think this teaches her to be less independent. I understand that you want your child to stay a child as long as possible, but there is a time where a child needs their own space to grow. Having her in bed with you for story-time is fine, but she needs to know that she has her own space too.
RELATED QUESTIONS
Copyright 2023, Wired Ivy, LLC