I just dumped my boyfriend of three years. He was my first love, and I feel that I could just get back with him and everything would be normal. However, when I think of the situation I know I did the right thing. How do I move on without being so upset?
by 
Anonymous
ANSWERS: 14
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find a new boyfriend
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It's always hard to move on when someone has been involved in your life for 1095 days. It's gotta hurt even though you were the one that ended it. The best thing you can do is make yourself busy. Make plans with your friends do not sit at home and dwell otherwise you will find you will go back to him. In time it does get easier (god I used to hate it when someone said that to me) but hey it's true. Give yourself time to grief because it is like a death in the family. I hope you find happiness again as we all want that for ourselves :-) chin up and be strong
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I had a girlfriend of 5 years and found myself in this same situation. The only differance was that we both were just "hanging on" the last 2 years of it. When I look back on it I know that if we had just broken up 2 years earlier than we did, we both would have enjoyed that time a lot more. So, yeah, keep yourself busy and active and find the support you need in your friends.
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I feel for you...my advice, subscribe to a gym even if you don't need to get slim the exercising takes your mind on the here and now, if you can go out dancing, also takes the mind from here and now but most importantly feel your pain and struggle and listen to it help yourself understand the fact you are losing something that can't be replaced and it won't be the last time, that's why it's important to feel your emotions, don't run from them and be in such a hurry to move on......
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HAHA!! Gym- that's a cool one! But it did not work for me. I couldnot keep myself busy. I was just in the depressing mode for some months till i realize that - wait a min, i broke up with him because else i would have been miserable with him! So, after some horrible months, i decided to get a new hair cut, [ i did not need to go to the gym to slim down- i lose 5 kilos out of depression ] and i had a piercing. I created a new me and it feel great. :) It takes time to heal if you were serious about him, but once you are over it, it a great feeling and you'll say- those stuffs happens in life, it makes you grow up and be more cautious about yourself next time you meet the right person!! Cheers!
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Yes I agree with the keep yourself busy comments, but I think it's important to let it all out at least once. Invite some girlfriends over, and just talk. Get whatever feeling, or emotions out and off of your heart now. Then, I say find things to keep you busy. Even if you were the one that broke up with him, it is still hard to walk away from a 3 year relationship without feeling some type of emotions. Good luck!
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i Had this same problem i kept wanting him back thinking everything would be normal. And then i saw him hanging around other girls why i was trying to move on and i kept getting really really upset!! So The way i did it was just avoid him and move on to some other hot guy then once u get a new boyfriend its alot easier to move on. I really hope this helpss.
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Keep yourself busy girl! Go out with your girlfriends, have fun, go shopping, get a manicure, facial, get your mind off of him :-) It's best to not spend a lot of time on your own because it will lead to thinking and all sorts of different thoughts and it could lead to sadness. Cheer up, keep your head high, you will be fine. :-)
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Unfortunately you did not mention the motive of your decision, but whatever it is if is something that will not make you be comfortable in this relationship and nothing can fix it, then is best to move on, by not expecting his calls, or you calling him back, it makes it much easier to move on when you have resign to the fact of not being with that person no more and never.
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Look ahead! Give yourself reason to be proud of yourself. YOu will be upset, it is part of life. You can do this. Keep busy with stuff, get involved in positive things that make you feel good about yourself. Don't let yourself daydream. Shut that door. It will get easier each day, but it will take awhile. One day you will look back and be glad you stuck to this decision. If the relationship was "work" then he was not the right one. Don't settle for good or better, wait for the best! He's out there. Fall in love with who you are in the meantime. Become that person that Mr. Best is looking for. It will all come together one day.
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you could not stop being upset it is a process in which you will go through and learn at the same time and the best you can do is stay uplifted since things and some activities would not be entertaining you with as much gusto as they used to be so it would be really hard to find something to distract you just do something where it includes helping and cheering somebody else answers questions here or talk to some other people well not about yer problem, put that behind and start forgetting day by day
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It will be hard to move on unless you find someone else who can stand up to the plate like he did. Other than time, only finding another person who makes you this happy will take care of your worries. Since he is your first love and you dated so long, you may feel like you should keep doing it because it has become routine. If you know you did the right thing then just move on and you will feel better in the long run.
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if you know it is the right thing to do then dont stress over it, you will find a good guy that is right for you. think about your future, would you have a good future with him?
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Break ups = upset. It goes with the territory. For both sides. He was my first love so that makes all the reasons I based my decision on invalid. I have no self-confidence, therefore, I cannot trust myself to make healthy decisions for myself. Somebody should make my decisions for me. 98 % of the time, getting back together doesnt change the reasons why the break up happened in the first place. Sometimes it does for a short period of time but things usually settle right back into the old ways. Thats why couples go to therapy to both work on not doing that. You stay busy and reconnect with friends. Dont bore them stupid talking about you ex. You learn from it so the next guy you date doesnt have the same qualities that made you want out of the last relationship. Good luck.
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