ANSWERS: 27
  • I'll tell you this... If you continue to think like that you won't be alone but you will never be happy.
  • i cant relate in teh context of a man but i can tell you this... on the 31st of January 2008 i was sitting at home all alone no friend to call, no family calling me to wish me happy new year. I was utterly alone with nothing but my tears to keep me company. i learnt Love yourself first. You... just who you are and except you then you will realise that you were born alone and there is no greater company than you your self and i
  • Happiness comes from inside you. Until you can be confident and happy alone, you'll never be content in a relationship. There's no mandate that says you have to be in a relationship. Having time to oneself can be healthy and positive. If you're staying in a bad relationship, your wasting the time of two people. Find your own happiness. Then share it with the right person.
  • I am just like you. I decided to seek the help of a therapist (because of other problems as well) and I am doing much better. Like everyone here said: you need to make yourself happy first.
  • I can relate. I can also say that being alone is not as bad as it seems. It's scary, at first, but once you become accustomed to it and realize you can do it, you will wonder that you didn't do it sooner. Keep your friends and family close, and it's a lot easier to make the transition. An added bonus is that you will not be as likely to settle for a bad relationship out of fear.
  • Unless you are in a one-sided relationship, or in a physical or emotional abusive relantionship, don't expect your next one to be a whole lot different. Relationships must take into account the human factor; no one is perfect, and the trick to a nice life is learning to adapt to the compromises we must make when we decide to become someone else's partners.
  • I would rather, be alone and happy, then in a relationship, and miserable. You need to learn to be happy with yourself, it feels awesome to know you can do things for yourself, and not have to depend on someone else for it. You wont find a good man, if you keep yourself in a bad relationship.
  • my relationship w/ my boyfriend has been dragging on for months. I lost feelings for him long ago but the same question u asked has been preventing me from breaking up with him. But yesterday I've decided that spending time with myself is actually better than being in this not-so-good relationship w/ him. SO i set both of us free by declaring an official break-up
  • Be brave, you are just wasting your life away, and youve got to move on, its not fair on you or your partner?
  • Yes... Many people can relate. But it's better to be happy alone, that unhappy WITH someone. You CANNOT convince yourself that you'll "never find anyone else"... That's a lie to yourself, and your excuse for staying in a bad relationship. Fear of being alone keeps a LOT of people together, and it only hurts themselves. Think about this... MANY women stay in ABUSIVE relationships, because they are convinced (by themselves or their abusive bfs/husbands) that they will never find anyone else. (Who convinced YOU of that?) You can be lonely, but still be happy. I've been there and done that a number of times. For example, I enjoyed high-school. I had a few dates, but not ONE relationship. I was FRIENDS with a lot of girls, but no one thought of me as theirs, or them as mine (if you catch my meaning). I went through college the same way. Even with the loneliness, I was generally happy, unless I thought about the loneliness. It's not necessary to have someone in your life. It's great when it happens with someone you love, but if it doesn't... it doesn't mean that much. You are a human being. Humans tend to gravitate together. Sometimes they gravitate even closer. Get out of the "not-so-good" relationship and prove to yourself you can live pretty happily on your own, even with loneliness. It could help in the future and it WILL help you now. Hopefully a better relationship will come along soon. Good luck. ;-)
  • Your company can't be that bad. I like being alone, sometimes. There's always friends. You'll never know how happy you could be, if you are afraid. In a good relationship the other person is suppose to inhance your life, not be your life. Start doing some things you enjoy, go have a cup of coffee in a coffee house, bring a book, relax! Go to a book store, pick out a few and have a coke, while you look through them. Try new make up, get a make over, do things that make you feel good. Then.......maybe you can enjoy who you are.
  • It all about self esteem. Your happiness should not be tied up in the approval or affection of others. Learn to love your self first and you can begin to find true love and appreciation from others; if not you will always be setteling for less then you deserve.
  • I know exactly how you feel, and I think this fear gets worse as I get older. Last year I left my boyfriend of 3 years. I never thought I could do it. He made me feel guilty everytime I brought it up, he would throw a fit. He made is difficult and told me that no one would date me after him. Well I finally did it. I realized that being alone was 100 times better than being with someone who doesn't appreciate me, treat me well or put in the effort to help himself or us. And within a month I lost weight, I was glowing, I got all new clothes, I was going out with my friends laughing! I was so happy, and guess what, I was ALONE! And all that positive energy brought a great guy into my life within only a month! You can do it. You're strong enough. Just believe that it will be a lifestyle makeover for the better!
  • Unfortunately that mind-set - anyone is better than nobody - keeps millions of people in relationships which really should terminate. You are vulnerable to abuse....and certainly to be unhappy all your life UNLESS you descover why you intensely dislike yourself...and your self-esteem is so low that you cannot abide being in your own company. I would suggest you find a good counsellor if possible...or hang around with positive women who may be able to help you find out the good stuff about yourself and give you confidence. Good luck!
  • I have the same fear. I am in a relationship that is only two years old. it is my third and longest relationship and i want to be with my man forever. But i still have the fear of being alone and all these people are right. I'm not alone, but im 75% of the time unhappy. I dont have the I'm worried i wont find someone else fear but i do have the, Im worried i'll always fall for the wrong guy fear, wether they be abusive or a serial cheater. If you love the person your with you can make it work. im starting to come out of this fear little by little.
  • I stuck in a relationship because I thought no one would want me. And I wouldn't be able to do it. But now I have been living alone for 7 years, and just don't care what anyone thinks. I have a good job, bought my own house and take care of my kids by myself everyday. it can be done.
  • Dude being alone sucks.. not matter what you think you are alot happier being with that person you've been with for years. You know why? Because you have to start all over again with another relationship that could turn out the same way.. see what I'm saying?
  • It is really a difficult situation,you are facing with a dilemma. I think the purpose of a relationship is to be happy with the other person and if it becomes a burden you can't bear it for long. Reconsider the situation,if you still feel the connection go for it if not you should move on and find another lover. Don't torture yourself just because you are afraid of staying alone,lonelinees won't kill you after all(hugs).
  • I can't relate, id rather take the chance of being alone knowing that i might end up in a perfect relationship then stay in a not so good one!!
  • no - one can't spent the rest of their lives looking for a pat on the head and a cookie from another person to make them feel better. We have to pat ourselves and get our own cookies in order to have that come from another. My sister said it best when she told me "I have a home, a car, a great job and I take care of myself and my son. If a man comes along and is the right guy, well, that is just a bonus." I'll never forget she said that.
  • You just don't have the guts to take risk and prefer to stay put in your not-so-good relationship. +3
  • I believe you are in the majority. The couple that is together because they love and care for each other and would rather be with no one else is the exception, not the rule in my world. And # of divorces filings are declining because of fear of financial loss, fear of loss of health insurance benefits; two salaries are more secure than one,one salary is better than none, child support issues, etc. etc. Most people prefer being with someone rather than being alone. I guess I'm in the minority but then ...I'm alone.
  • I most definitely can relate. I have been cheated on a lot, but I have stayed in those relationships because I'd rather be miserable but together, than even more miserable alone. It also makes sense that I've never said no to anyone asking me out, because its an escape from the torture.
  • If you fear being alone you are fearing yourself, since you are the only one there.  
  • i know how you feel, but its important to face your fears. I mean, this is a great opportunity to learn some important life lessons. You want to keep growing in life, right? Then, you have to move on. you wouldn't stay in a miserable dead-end job would you? No- you would go on to move up, get a promotion, gain new skills, expand your resume, etc. Don't be afraid of change, embrace it b/c you know it means that a new exciting venture is on the way! Life is what you make of it!
  • I do OK alone. I have an intense fear of relationships.  

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