Well that sounds painful. Nobody else can tell you that you should live or not live: that's a very basic choice you have to make for yourself. If you're just depressed, which is what this sounds like, it's a good idea to get some help -- a counselor or clergy, someone you respect and trust who will listen and be helpful. The old saying about suicide is that it's a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Is that what you really want? Again, it's not my job -- or anyone's job -- to tell you that you can't do it or shouldn't do it, but it's smart to be aware of your own mind and what is actually going on inside, so that you can make wise choices. Usually, that process of developing self-awareness takes time, and you sort of need to be alive for it to work.

i miss my grandma, grandpa, dad, girlfriend...people who loved me a lot and cared for me...who are gone now. i don't know what to do anymore...my fingers are actually numb right now thinking of them...lol...isn't this just silly? why do good things perish so fast? i don't understand this shit life anymore...

It's important that you find someone to talk to, someone who will not make fun of you. You may feel low right now because you're bereaved and lonely, but this is just a stage in your life. Life is a journey and we don't know where it's taking us, but it changes and even misery doesn't last forever. Was there ever a time you felt happy? If so, then try to hold on to that feeling and know it can come again. Sometimes we go through terrible pain and suffering, but when it's over we are stronger, wiser and able to deal with life's vagaries. Try to think of yourself with love - the same love that once your own mother felt for you. And remember, just because we die might not mean our problems are over - Buddhists believe in reincarnation adn that what we are experiencing when we die can affect our next birth. Who can say? Seek professional or spiritual help. Life is short and it can be lived more fully.

i really treasure all of your responses - you're all so kind and i thank you...i only wish i could rate you all but i can't confirm my account due to emailing restrictions at work. i try to be optimistic - i'm trying to find the light at the end of the tunnel, but i'm so fucking overwhelmed all the time. the only people in my life i could talk to are gone and there's no one i can turn to for help anymore. i pray to God everyday to make things better, to bring happiness and solace, but it's not happening. things are only getting worse each day. but i thank-you all for your responses...just reading them puts me at ease because i know there really are good people out there in the world. you have no idea how much it means to me.

It does get better at the end of the tunnel. Realise that these feelings you are presently feeling,other people have felt as well. YOU ARE NOT ALONE..and this is important to know. Although depression can isolate one in so many ways..just know that you are really not isolated. There are soo many good people out there and i know that someone precious will come into your life soon to help ease the intensity of your feelings. Is there a psychologist or counsellor you can talk to? Is there anything that makes you feel slightly good at all? Maybe exercise or reading or painting? something along those lines? I hope that u start to feel better soon.

think about this..you were put on this earth for a reason...and people who hate you or make fun of you..need to get a life and see the real beauty in life. if you feel so overwhelmed. try writing about it..it helps alot i promise =D

This question of yours should prove to you that not everyone hates you, as a matter a fact their are many strangers that do CARE. Suicide is not the answer, and apparently you must have hit rock bottom in your state of mind, so that said there is light at the end of tunnel. The only direction you have to go in is up. People who demean you are not the authorities of who you are, the only one that is....IS YOU. Their opinions are meaningless and probably based on ignorance and insecurity or just hate, their are the weak ones and should be ignored. Take charge of your destiney, you are in charge of yourself, noone else is or will be.

I have felt like you. Because what you are experiencing is system upset as a result of intense grief. This is a normal reaction and takes time to get through. Be kind to yourself and let yourself grieve. But if it is getting so that you feel you have nothing to live for, then please go for help. Go to a priest or minister or rabbi or counsellor and get their advice. You might even need a course of tablets to help your system get back to equilibrium, but that's okay. You are allowed to take tablets that are prescribed by a doctor for your benefit. Once you are through the tunnel, you might be able to take on some of those who have been mean to you and put them in their place. They ought not be so. You are a human being worthy of respect. And believe me, there are people out there who do respect you. You may not have even met them yet, but they are there. So please, get help, for our sake. We don't want to see you so down. Thinking of you and praying for you.

You are in my thoughts and I am thinking about you right now. I know what it feels like to lose people that you love. It is the worst feeling in the entire world. I don't know what I could say to stop you from hurting, but I want you to know that you are not alone and even though you may not be able to know this right now, there ARE people that care about you because they are feeling the same pain you are feeling. You mentioned in your previous post that you pray to God every day to make things better. I would like to suggest that you find a place where you feel safe and can have some quiet time and listen to the silence. I know that may sound kind of weird, but when I have felt such despair and pain in my life, I felt comfort just knowing God was with me in the silence. Breathe, and feel each breath from inside. Cry and grieve for the people you love that you miss so much. Allow yourself as much time as you need to do this. It takes time. Take one minute at a time, one breath at a time. I am thinking about you and I am praying for you right now.

...and you see a point in not existing? There's a really good chance that death is boring. Life is much more exciting. You only get one chance to live it, and you shouldn't cut it short just because you're having a bad time. It won't lasts. There are very few things in life that last forever, if any. So whatever is bothering you now, will change. More people will care for you, you won't always have to deal with these negative influences, and you won't always feel the way you do now. It's weak to give up just because you're having a rough patch. You just have to work through it, do the things you love and you'll get past it.

There are many more people that care for you than you know. Some you don't know. Some you will never know if you carry out your thoughts. Keep it there. Suggestions: Write. Write a story, a poem, a song - it's somewhat cathartic, because you have to organize your thoughts. (Of course, with a computer, you can do it a lot faster than with pen and paper, but either will do.) Don't spend so much time thinking about those who are gone (no matter how). Think about all the "good times" you had with them. Write about that, and concentrate on these thoughts and memories. Ignore the a--holes (and you KNOW who THEY are, right?) That's all they are, especailly right now, A-holes. You don't say how old you are, but there should be someone you can trust and talk to - a counselor at school, a religious leader (minister, priest, rabbi, whatever), someone at work?. If not, call a crisis center near you... Just to talk, and maybe get a list of resources you CAN talk to longer. As you can see by the responses here, there ARE people who don't even know you who care. Keep THAT in mind, too. And TRY to smile (a REAL smile). When you can without forcing it, you're on the road to feeling better. Good luck. Keep us informed, please. ;-)

tell them how they are making you feel and see what they say. if it dont get any better you should see about moving away from the bad people and start all over and have a more happy and meaningful life that you can make you own way how you see fit to be.

you will find people to fit in with, just ignore the morons, if you can't, them moving to another area, state, or even another country(tho if they keep bothering you from state to state then a restraining order is needed) Dont let the idiots bother you tho. Ignore them, and make new friends, and live life to the fullest! :D

i can't believe all the responses...all of you are such amazing people - thank you so much for your support. i'm so gracious. :) i believe these people have the impression that it doesn't bother me when they harass, push around, and poke fun at me because i don't really show any emotion. however, it really does sink in, especially at night when i'm alone for some reason. i start thinking about my family, good friends, and this girl i once loved, who are gone now, people i'd give an arm and leg for. i don't have any of that anymore...only these hateful people. i end up not being able to sleep, i get sick or start feeling numb. i'll tell you all, i don't always think about taking my life...just when i'm by myself - especially at night. the feelings get so strong...it's crazy hehe. but, i'm so happy to know that you guys do care for me which is different. :) i wish you all well and God bless!

The first step is being aware that when they approach you, they are going to have nothing good to say about you. The second step, distance yourself from them. If you can't physically, then mentally. Have absolutely nothing to say to them, block them out. The third step, find someone that likes you. It could very easily be someone that you overlooked in the past. We are helpful here, but we can't be WITH you, you need somebody that can. It only takes one person. Don't let those others that downgrade you bring you down. Don't stoop to their level. YOU are walking in YOUR shoes, they aren't. You have a purpose in this life, you are here for a reason. You very well MAY have to pull somebody back up to their feet later on. You have the experience now, make sure you are there for them.

There is a perfect answer for you....God is the reason why you should keep living..read the bible ask god for forgiveness for asking this question he is a great man..you feel like this again email me we can chat at Nate-0803@hotmail.com..or even better talk to your pastor about it