ANSWERS: 28
  • You can of course but it would take far more effort than simply realizing that it's not abnormal for a guy to do this and it's not necessarily a problem, unless he's downloading stuff that contains virii or spyware.
  • There are programs out there that you can install and run on the background. They'll take screenshots at regular intervals that you can set. Once he's gone you can then see what he's been doing. Before you do any of this I think you should consider what Zenmonk has said.
  • ask him. MOst guys dont like it when you snoop in thier history. and is it really abig deal if he does look up porn? its the internet, most people do at some point.
  • Has he exhibited any behavior that's made you feel insecure about your relationship?
  • hell almost every guy on the internet has looked a porn at one time or another. i know that i have
  • Even if your boyfriend is deleting the internet history, there might still be cookies, or cached pictures... all you have to do is find a cached picture, most porn sites have advertisements all over the place that load into the cache... do a search on the computer for ALL pictures... wait and see what you get. (but first talk to him, if you've told him already that you don't like the fact he goes to pornographic sites... you should ask him if he still does it..). if you start doing things behind his back (i.e. looking for the pictures without discussing it first) it can lead to more problems, and you won't be much better than him (if he's going to the sites after agreeing not to)... it would be better to download a "parrental" program that would restrict XXX sites but doing that on his computer might/could lead to a break up... The other thing to do is... let it go.. guys look at porn, heck some girls do to... one thing you could do is help him look some things up by finding "free" porn (sites that post a few pictures a day) that way he isnt wasting money that he could be spending on you...oh and then get him to spend some of the money on you... #1, buy a porno video... find out what his fantasy's/porno he likes are... get a video.. and... play through them, or experience it with him, letting him play with you.. while you help full fill that fantasy of his. When my girl friend/now wife, started playing with me... I stoped going to the sites mostly becuase it was funner to do the things I was imaging with the computer... with her... it was warmer... and just felt better... get rubbing oils, baby oil, something to make skin on skin contact smoother. get some mood candles, and make him interested in you again.
  • First of all, heres a few tips. Read your question, "how can I find out when my BOYFRIEND is looking up porn on HIS computer when he deletes it off the internet history". What right do you have to look at your boyfriends personal property and to snoop? If I was your boyfriend I'd cut you loose right about now. Besides that, you can install any number of spyware programs, if your boyfriend is even slightly computer literate, this won't work, but you can try.
  • ask him - you are playing with fire with the whole espionage/invasion of privacy thing. Why not go the whole hog and hire a Private Eye to track his every move.
  • You can install any number of illegal spy ware programs on his computer, place a hidden camera watching his screen, burst in on him uninvited while he is browsing the porn, or try fiddling with his internet settings so that it won't automatically wipe histories (if that's what he is doing). However, you are not allowed to do any of these things without his permission (except possibly bursting in on him, after you have already been welcomed into his house) since they all involve invading his privacy and probably illegally tampering with his property. Or you could ask him.
  • Actually it doesn't really matter if he look it up repeatedly. If he is the kind of guy who likes porn and you know he's going to look it up and you know you don't like that then you might want to find someone else perhaps. Knowing what he did will not change the fact that he does those things.
  • I HAVE JUST READ ALL ANSWERS. i would just like to say that, no it isnt the end of the world as you are all saying if a guy looks at porn however, if the girlfriend doesn't like it thats not her fault, surely he has to respect her as well as her respecting him and not snoop. I understand guys do this and girls too, but if one partner doesnt like it for one reason or another then I personally don't feel that it is ok for him to continue doing so behind her back...there was a recent q here where he had promised not to do it but she was still finding it...thats lying and disrespect i think!!...personally I don't know whats so great about looking when you can touch at home!!
  • I cannot believe what I am reading. People, men or women, do not have some natural, inalienable right to look at porn and their women should just put up or shut up? Is this 1919, or 2007? Wake up people. If I were doing something that harmed myself and my relationship my boyfriend, he would have every right to ask me to stop doing it. Besides, you have the right to learn the character of this person, especially if you are considering marriage. The bottom line is that you can go to computer forensics people who can pull up everything that ever was on his screen. However, you should prepare yourself; if his porn use upsets you, seeing everything he has been using will be devastating. You should draw a line before investigating this, i.e. if you find kiddie porn or rape porn, you're out of there, or whatever your absolute line is. YOu should know that porn users escalate their use. That means, if he's into mild bondage porn now, he'll probably get into rape porn in a year or two once the thrill of his current fix doesn't do it anymore. The parts of our brains that react to the pleasures of porn are exactly the same as those that react to the pleasures of drugs, and the law of diminishing returns applies. You should also know that even if you find stuff, and you talk to him about it, and ask him to stop, and even IF he agrees, there's a 99% chance that he'll just keep using it more secretively, which will make you feel even more betrayed every time. I'd say, start a converstaion with him about porn, tell him how you feel about it, ask how he feels about it, and if your positions on the subject are substantially different, leave him, because this is a battle that will always hurt, and that you won't win. I'm sorry you're having to deal with the pain and sadness involved in that. MOST OF ALL- DO NOT LISTEN TO THE SELF INTERESTED MEN AND THE BRAINWASHED WOMEN WHO WILL TELL YOU YOU'RE A PRUDE OR A BAD PERSON IF YOU DON'T WANT PORN IN YOUR LOVE LIFE, OR IF YOUR ASSERT YOUR RIGHT TO KNOW EXACTLY WHAT KIND OF PERVERSIONS YOU'RE DEALING WITH. It's a valid and reasonable position. Consider reading the book "Pornified" by Pamela Paul, and "Pornography: Driving the Demand in International Sex Trafficking"; porn is not a victimless industry, far from it.
  • Sweet T- he probably IS looking at it every chance he gets- while she goes to the store, while she is sleeping, while she is showering, while she is on the phone with her dying relative, while she is changing her daughters diaper, while she is helping her daughter decorate the Christmas Tree-- I think you get my drift. It DOES matter how much to her- it obviously hurts her and it is definately hurting any chance for a future with them if they don't seek help now. Thanks for letting me share ; )
  • The more important question is why are you so willing to invade his privacy like that? While my wife and I have an open and honest relationship, enough that I would tell her whether or not I cruise the porn sites if she just asked me, I would be *very* upset if she tried hacking into things and going behind my back like that. That sort of mistrust can tear couples apart quicker than you would imagine. And if it is HIS computer (not a shared one like mine) then it's even worse. We're talking potential criminal charges here. If your actions upset him and he is the vindictive type, you would be causing ALL sorts of problems for yourself. Besides, are you actually sure he does visit porn sites? What makes you think that he does? And if he has, do you believe that that automatically makes him a one-handed-surfing pR0n addict like some people here seem to think?
  • The people who have replied to your question are very insensitive! I feel for you girl! I believe that if you are in a relationship you have every right to know what is going on! I recently stumbled upon porn sites that my husband had been visiting, they were very disturbing. Might I suggest preparing yourself for the worst! I actually took my family computer in for a forensic search because my hubby was Very good at covering his tracks.I feel that I had every right to do so since he would not tell me the truth. I found out way more than I needed too and the divorce will be final soon.
  • The fundamental question I have regarding this situation is whether a person who owns a computer has an expectation to privacy. It's one thing if you break the law and the authorities get a warrant to search your computer for evidence, or if you use a corporate computer to do non-corporate things and they search your computer for evidence. But does anyone have the right to inspect what's on your 'personal' computer without your permission? My first instinct is no. If someone is looking at porn and this is something you don't agree with, that's one issue. You have the right to make your feelings known and have an expectation that your wishes will be respected. But that still doesn't give you the right (legally or otherwise) to covertly inspect their computer system. Let's take the computer out of the equation. What if they were looking at porn in a magazine in their office over lunch at work? Are they doing something you agree with? No. Do you have the right to walk into the office when they're not there and search the drawers for porn magazines? Nope. People have a right to privacy and if you think they are doing something you've asked them not to do, you have the right to end the relationship, but not the right to invade their privacy. If it was a diary, I think the same rule would apply. You might find evidence of their active interest in pron, but the means with which you obtained the evidence would not be admissible, because of how it was obtained. IMHO
  • The bottom line here is communication. It's the backbone of every relationship. Normal people don't spy on eachother. It just isn't healthy. If you have a problem - any problem - communicate with your partner and tell them. The more you try and sneak around the problem, the worse it will get. The problem is that people get into their comfort zones and things like this throw a huge monkey wrench into what they thought their lives, relationships, friendships, etc., etc., were. Instead of taking a step out of that comfort zone and looking at things objectively, they attack the problem emotionally because they are emotionally vested. Understandable. But try taking a step back and viewing this situation from an outsider looking in: You are upset about something regarding your partner. You are planning on spying on your partner to rectify the situation. Is this going to work? Absolutely not. Actually, it couldn't be a worse solution. It will only exacerbate any problem going on in this relationship, whether it be the chicken choking problem or anything else. The only way to solve it is to talk it through.
  • If I suspect my boyfriend of something I will do whatever necessary to find the truth. When your in a relationship you shouldnt have secrets, and 'privacy' should be restricted to going for a dump!! Ask him to look at his computer, if he wont let you, you have your answer, he's hiding something, bin him off!! Guys expect us to put up with them looking at other naked women and then use the excuse its 'normal' to excuse the fact that its totally disrespctful to the girl your with. Yet we women put up with it, lets take a stand!
  • If your mind is eating you up, questioning over and over! "why does he look at this stuff all the time, and what is he looking at"......then here is this site that you can download.... It really works, also it is invisible webwatcher so he will not even know its on there. Also once you download it on the computer, you are able to check whats he has been looking at from any computer. It is free 7 days, and you do not have to give any credit card info. Unless at the end of the 7 days you want to buy it. the site is webwatchernow.com/monitoring%2DSoftware/consumer/index-free.html type it in just like i'm showing you here then you will for sure get your answers! hope i help goodluck!
  • What is wrong with you? If you don't like what he looks up on the Internet enough to feel the need to snoop on his Internet behaviours, you should not be with him. Do him a favour and break up with him . . . NOW!
  • Memory Spy- records every website and keystrokes. Dont let yourself be lied to.
  • Leave him alone. Porn is just fantasy. Don't be insecure.
  • whats wrong with porn?
  • hi my boyfriend looks at porn on the internet and then deletes it. i go to windows media player and click on video, then on the right of the screen there is an option for "last viewed" i click on that and it shows the last video watched on the internet. thats how i always catch my boyfriend out but he doesn't realise its still stored in media player. try that.
  • Ask him. If you're lucky you can look at it together. Or better yet, get a sense of boundaries and stop being such a puritanical prude.
  • Funny how defensive people get with this question; you would think that your boyfriend is posting here or something. Simple ways to find out what is on a PC... 1. Search for "*.jpg" or "*.gif" and include hidden and system folders; if he isn't trying very hard to cover his tracks you will probably find something. 2. Search the "C:Documents and Settings...[INSERT USERNAME HERE]...Local SettingsHistory folder; again, if he isn't trying hard to cover his tracks, you may find something there. 3. ASK HIM! I know, this may sound silly, but if he isn't trying to be sneaky, he may just have an addiction and need some help to overcome it... if you ask IN LOVE, you might be surprised how willing he may be to get help. 4. If you feel like you can't trust him and the above doesn't work; either LEAVE him, or get professional help. The only LEGAL (and ethical) way to find out for sure is if he is using a shared system; otherwise you should find another way to see if you can trust him. If you have legal control of the system, you can hire an "ethical hacker" to find out what is going on. 5. BE READY FOR THE TRUTH! It may be that he has a problem, or it may be that you are the one with the problem. Make sure you have been honest before expecting him to be! If you have no skeletons in the closet; it may be time to move on! Good Luck!
  • That would fair to find out if you are willing to tell your boyfriend each time after you masterbate and what fantasies you were thinking about at the time. If you think that is none of his freeking business then shut the f*k up and have some respect for his privacy.
  • you probably cant

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