ANSWERS: 84
  • Probably a snipe would be best. I like to make this one quick and easy, and rather not make a mess.
  • Did you see saw 1 0r 2or 3? shows neat ways to dispose of people yes/no?
  • feed you a tea made from rhubarb leaves and apple seeds.
  • As I cant stand blood, it would have to be with a sniper rifle about 5 miles away..!
  • Slowly....!!
  • Uh... lets just push you off a cliff huh? LOL! Or maaaybe kidnap you, stuff a rag in your mouth and put you in a tank to watch you drown... God now I DO sound like one. HAHAHAHA! I watch waaay too many movie for my own good.
  • I'd be a rubbish serial killer. I don't want to kill you. But i'll pretend I do. I'd stab you in the heart with an icicle, it would melt and there'd be no evidence. Mwahahahahahaha.
  • Now, if I told you that, I'd have to kill you! :)
  • Force you to read all the stupid AB questions until you reached the point that you killed yourself! Probably won't take long.
  • If I were to kill you, it would be quick. Would not be clean, but at least you would not ever know. It would be a binary situation, you are on, then off.
  • I would serve you one of the most decadent and dangerous meals ever... Fugu.
  • I would probably just shoot you while you were on your way back from the grocery store. And drive away. No big deal....(But I would never do such a thing, my friend. I would be the guy who was stalking the serial killer. I would shoot him dead as soon as he raised his arm. Truth. You see, there are sheep, wolves, and there are sheep dogs. Sheep dogs are trained to protect sheep. They will attack and kill wolves if they have to. Wolves are instinctual predators. But they are not really good fighters. Sheep dogs are trained to go for a wolf's throat.
  • If I was a serial killer I would kill you the same way as I killed the 14 before you.
  • I really just don't hav ethe heart of a killer. I think I'd wuss out and yous take control of the situation, I'd be arrested....yeah, this isn't looking to good for me.
  • Softly:
  • i wouldnt
  • never thought about it to be honest dont think i could heve the heart tho kill some one for the hell of it.
  • i would tie you up and get a very sharp knife. heat it up red hot and put cuts all over your chest and legs. i would burn you with a cigar all over your body. i would cut off your eyelids. would break all of your fingers and toes. i would hit your legs with a baseball bat. stick you in a tub of water and drop a toaster in and watch you get fried
  • With cereal;)
  • I'd talk your ear off, and watch the blood pour out the side of your head. And then I'd defend my actions by stating that we just didn't see eye to eye on a unspecified topic. Hypothetically speaking that is.
  • You...LOL..I wouldn't have time for you...I'd be too busy stabbing Cereal!
  • First i'd tie you up, of course so you can't escape. Then I'd take a knife and carve a hole directly in the back of your neck. Then slowly tug on your spine. Find where an area that seems to be sharp and sticking into the midback area. Use the knife to cut into that area and then disconnet the tissues holding onto your spine. Then take your spine out of your back with my hands. You're still alive, but have no spine. Then I'd take both my thumbs and place them anywhere under a rib, pull up very hard and then push them back. I've now puntured a lot of organs. Where the ribs punched holes in your back, I'd pour gassoline on them and down the hole I cut for your spine. And also into your mouth. Then I'd bend back and break off all of your fingers and use the bones to sick into your eyes. Then I'd pour gas into your eye sockets and do the same for your nose. Then I'd take the knife and slice off your toes. Then I'd take the pinkey toes and jam them into your ears and then pour more gass into you mouth. Then I'd slit your wrists and pour gas into the wrist slittings. Then I'd stick fireworks into the hole I made on your spine, your fingersockets, and rib puncture holes. Then I'd stick a ciggrette into your mouth and light it. Then I'd watch the fire inside of you and watch as guts shoot out of your back as the fireworks go off. You're dead.
  • I'd call O.J.....;-D... . . http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/If_I_Did_It
  • I'd smother you with love,hugs and kisses. If that failed a nine mil-one shot right between the eyes. Quick and painless.
  • if i were a serial killer what attribute would you have that would make me the least bit interested in you? white guy from Minn. with enought money and time to be doing this-pretty boring (not trying to offend, but....)
  • I'd probably snipe you while you were at work, depending on your work environment.
  • yes, that would be valid.
  • Threaten your family in a way that I can't mention on AB. Force you into your garage and car, and have you turn it on. Wait for the Monoxide poisoning to do it's job. It would be ruled a suicide.
  • icicle...the evidence would melt
  • In 3 steps: 1. Force feed you Captain Crunch and Count Chocula without milk. 2. Make you down a 2-liter of Coke or Mountain Dew 3. Stand back and wait for you to explode or die from diabetic coma.
  • Burn you alive of course :D.
  • I'd give you the wrong paperwork and put you in a government line to ask for financial assistance. You would die of boredom.
  • I would kill you with kindness
  • Knitting needles.
  • Bore you to death the genealogy.
  • turn you over to Johnny (the homicidal maniac)
  • Send you to my mother-in-laws and let her talk you to death....
  • First I would slowly get to know you, study you , find out the things you like, the things you don't, and what means most to you. Then after you've come to trust me, I would take you, tie you up in a chair, and destroy everything and everyone that means most to you, except for one thing. I would let you use that as a source of comfort in between trials of torture. I'll let that go on for a time, and then, after you've come to value that one last thing you that means something to you more than your own life, I would make you watch as I slowly destroyed it. Then I would leave you in the a dark room until you lost track of time. I would feed you obviously, and allow you drink. When you've lost track of time, I'll then let you go. I'll let you bathe, I'll let you have a good meal, I'll let you watch TV, read a book, whatever you want. Then, when I've bid you farewell, and let you leave, right as you opened the door, I would shoot both your knee caps, then your stomach, allowing your insides to be slowly liquefied by your stomach acid. Wouldn't that terrify you if I wasn't opposed to taking a life ^_^??
  • Depends, whats your worse fear?? That kinda weirded me out at the fact I was like, Hmm how can I really kill this person. But thats okay I know I wouldn't do such a thing.
  • I'd kill you with kindness.
  • I've been told I'm rather iritating, so I'd probably iritate you to death.
  • I'd drop you off a building.
  • Wouldn't be half as scary if I told you how! :D *Maliciously pets rubber ducky.*
  • looking for ideas? yeeeeeeeesh
  • Beat you to a pulp with a sledgehammer... It ain't subtle, but how else are you going to stand out against all the other serial killers?
  • i would kill you.
  • 1:cut a vertical slit down your abdomen 2:go to the top of a building 3:tie your feet and attach the other end of the rope to something sturdy 4:throw you off guess how you get to die when the rope runs out?
  • With Kindness. Has anyone said that yet? I don't want to read all 48 answers. I'm lazy.
  • Probably come up with some interesting poison or gas... less easily traced than physical force, and neater. But i may not kill you at all... you might not be my type of victim, or fit into a catagory of specific hatred - i'd also have to find and plan to murder at least a couple of other people to kill over a space of time, for me to even be considered as a serial killer.
  • I'd drown you in milk!!!
  • smother you with love
  • I would make you listen to "Rap" music. You would die an agonizing death.
  • A bowlful of arsenic oats: that's an urban legend too.
  • Sorry but I wouldn't post that on the internet, never mind the fact that I'm too busy doing other things.
  • Force you to listen to Bush
  • Mr. BLT, ****Bacon, starts with a B, second letter in the alphabet, your number two on my hit list. I would take all of your bacon, and you would wither away and die.
  • I would love you to death =)
  • I'd rip out your intestines and hang you with them. Hope this doesn't offend you.
  • I'd use cloroform to render you out cold.Then i'd wrap my kill room in plastic, and wear protective gear.Then i'd dissect you and then dismemeber you.
  • i wouldnt, dont think like that, when its your time our lord will handle it.
  • being from arizona,and having miles and miles of desert at my disposal,i would simply take you to a remote part.were you would then be staked down face up on the desert floor.then i would make a small insision just below your belly button.this is the point were the wild animals begin there feast.after 1 to 2 days theres nothing left. or frozen body+woodchipper=very little mess
  • frozen body + woodchipper=no mess
  • With kindness.
  • Softly
  • A quick shot to the heart. JK I couldn't kill anyone...
  • with a feather, slowly
  • With laughter.... actually, I could never really kill anybody.
  • Old age. They'd never trace it back to me.
  • i would not be able to bring myself to kill you...although if there is anyone that is bothering you at the moment...
  • With kindness :D
  • I wouldn't. I like you.
  • You've given me no reason to even consider you harm. So I won't even entertain this notion.
  • I hate to answer a question with a question but: Why would I want to do that?
  • Recycling machine would do.Shredder would be faster.Some kind of liquid having to pass thru ur vein with the aid of unsterilzed cyringe will not spill a pound in case I don't need blood to feed my tigers and you would simply transit into the other world like you were never harmed.The overseer of things there would spend less to repair ur carcass.Lastly,I'll roar like a lion to scare far away your spirit to show that I'm good at terminating...
  • On the second thought,I would put myself in the position of the target
  • i would rip your teeth out one by one and staple your lip to the top of your mouth then i would cut your fingers of one by one and ass rape you with your own fingers then i would cut your arm off and tea bag your ass. then i would put a bullet threw your brain cut you into pieces and put you in a bag and throw you off the golden gate bridge
  • I'd rip out all of your hairs one by one with a pair of tweezers. Next I'd feed it to you in an italian dish. Then I'd force you to watch every episode of next top model. Then I would have mercy on you and put a plastic bag over your head.
  • First I would tie you to a char with your eye lids taped open so you would not miss anything. With your arms and legs duct taped to the chair and a racquetball in your mouth Id sit you in front of a tv with bad reception and make you watch teletubbies nonstop for about three weeks, feeding you low grade cat food and oxycodone, infrequently flooding your mouth with green koolade. As you lose touch with reality you would be subjected to non-stop scratchy Doris Day lp, while a fan softly blew on you nonstop. Thats when I would begin the identity change- convincing you your real name Francois Aubergine, and that you had swindled hundreds of widows out of thier life savings and that you were worthless, and force you to agree tha you life was no longer worth living. Att he point I would expose you to endless videos of wildlife being field dressed and talking about how fun it looked to be that animal. Once you agreed and I got you excited about to idea, I would drive you to an open field, hand you a knife and tell you to have the time of your life- eviscerate yourself because you want to. And you would
  • Now it wouldnt be a surprise if I told you.
  • do you think maybe that you need 2 get out of the house more. lol what an idiotic question.
  • well since it wont let me comment on your reply to my answer ill jus do it here instead.yes well not all of us were brought up with silver spoons in our mouth and from when you grow up in a town seeing prostitutes, drug dealers, serial killers, seeing people you know get killed by serial killers and then see somebody making a joke out of it likes its funny when 4 other people its real life. i guess its just people living in totally different worlds. regarding my english well when im at college taking my a levels thats when im writing in proper english, when i come on a site and comment on(in my eyes what is a) rediculous question thats when i can let slip a little. but obviously people like you havnt heard of short text or anything that requires living in the world as it is 2day. you may think im insolent but id rather be that then clueless and stuck up.
  • well, i heard an interesting thing but dont know if its true. i heard that 83 percent of serial killers are former Marines. i hope that is not true. but i would not kill you. plus you are a guy. most of them go for girls. i dont know why that is though. easier prey i guess. but, damn why kill off the one good thing in life, women? now that you got me thinking of it. i would be an original and hunt down only Marines and Navy seals, and special forces, and really military highly trained people. if you are going to be stupid then i should at least make it a challange for myself. some real risk to it. plus if i fail to kill them there will be no trail and no rotting in prison wasting tax payer money. they would kill me if i failed.
  • like i killed all the others were do you live whats the lay out of your house have you got a pair of garden shears or do i have bring my own or do you prefer something a bit less painful like being dragged behind a car please say shears its so much more fun that way as i get to see your face up real close as i am hacking out your liver ready for the dinner plate mmm lovely

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