Im in love with a guy who is abusive, has really bad anger & is in jail right now for 6 years i think im gonna break it off because his anger just seems to be getting worse. do you think i am making the right decision even though i really really love him?
by 
your_my_heroine
ANSWERS: 18
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Yes you should break it off. When he gets out not only will he still have the anger it will be worse because he won't be able to find a decent job.Get out of it now and find someone that is not abusive.
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As much as I love the Beatles, they were wrong: love is NOT all you need. You need to do what is best for your overall health and development as a person. Love is a wonderful thing, and it has amazing and transformative powers. But it can also get sick, and sometimes it's sick enough that you have to stay away to avoid having it infect your entire life. This sounds like such a case, I think.
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This is a choice only you can make. But ask yourself these questions. Has he ever been abusive or angry towards you? Or has he ever made you feel intimidated? If yes, then I would leave him. However, if not, is he getting anger management & genuinely working at it? If he is, then maybe you can give him one chance - but make sure it is ONE chance only. He may have had a bad upbringing, which although it isn't a valid excuse to be abusive, he can improve his behaviour if he gets the right help. You don't say what he is in jail for but that would also be a factor in my decision if I were you. Follow your gut instinct. I personally believe people can change, & although he should change primarily for himself, you could be the support he needs to persevere. Remember you deserve to be happy. Good luck & stay safe xXx
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Looks to me like you have already made your decision. And as someone who was in an abusive relationship, I think it is absolutely the right one. Best of luck to you. :-)
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Regardless of how much you love him, he obviously doesn't love you, or he wouldn't abuse you in any way. You are doing the right thing for leaving him. Do not look back! Be at peace with knowing that he will NEVER change. Good luck with your new life. It's grand out there and don't forget someone worthy of you is out there waiting to find you! :-)
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Love means to protect and nurture/provide... is this what he is doing for you?
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Go to the land of Oz...find the scarecrow...go see thw wizzard and just say I'll have what he's having
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Unless you enjoy having the shit punched out of you and your idea of fun is to die in a pool of your own blood screaming in agony, then yes, you are.
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Look lady, the jackass is getting locked up for six years, less time with good behavior. Use this time wisely to better your life. If you dare stay with him, then you desrve the rotten life your heading for with him. Make sure you don't have any kids with him, if you stay. Why make innocent kids suffer for your stupidity, right?
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You mentioned in a comment following an answer above, as an afterthought: "oh one more thing-he has never been abusive to our son, just me" Abusing YOU IS abusing your son... And YOU accepting it is abusing your son, too. It also shows HIM that it's OK to abuse women. Love does NOT work like that. If there's ANY abuse, there's not love. There's jealousy, control, anger... But not love. Get out now, and take your son with you. I hope someone documented the abuse, so when he tries to get his son for visitation when he gets out, you can PROVE the abuse. There have been WAY too many stories in the news around here about abusive husbands who killed not only their wives or EX-wives, but their children, too (usually before they killed themselves.) Go to or call a shelter. They have the knowledge and the resources to help you.
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If you were truely in love; you would see that the number one thing that is hardest to do in relationship is to sacrifice. If you truely love him you would let him go so that he can get help. If he really loves you he will get help and want you back but you have to be sure that he no longer has any thoughts about hurting you or anyone else. Believe that he can change but until he does i think it is better if you break it off.
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Yes, I think you should break it off with him. I say, "Do it while you can, because who knows what he'll do to you when he gets out!! Infact, I would encourage you to move to a different location ASAP too for your own safety. Know one deserves to be abused. And who knows what abuse will lead too!
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Don't EVER compromise yourself or your safety for love, no matter how much you love the other person. Nothing is worth that. I think you are absolutely making the right decision.
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This is just common sense "sigh"....
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thats not love. you may think you are in love w/ him, but its not the case. you judgement is cloudy. you need to leave while youre still alive and breathing. its never ok for a man to lay his hands on a woman. or the other way around. hes in jail now, but youll feel like your in prison when he gets out and your trapped w/ him. dont be one of those girls we see on the news...
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i think you should definatly break it off with him, guys with anger issues never seem to change.if they are verbally abusive, there is a very big chance they will be physically and emotionally abusive... and as bad as it may seem, it will be easy for you to move on as running into him wont be an issue..
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Check out this website, it has some good resources and should be able to connect you to a professional to help you through this: http://www.abusedadultresourcecenter.com/
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There's no hope unless he is willing to change his ways and stick to it. He hasn't shown willingness so far and you say he's getting worse. Cut all ties and run, don't walk to a safe place well away from him!
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