ANSWERS: 37
  • he is a mental case for telling you that he loves you. tell him that you are not interested in pursuing a relationship with him as you are focused on different priorities right now. i hope this enough of a wake up call for him. i hope you don't have to get a restraining order.
  • I would suggest you run, not walk away from all this...
  • Run, and run quickly. Do not respond to phone calls, emails etc. Tell him to lay off..you're not interested. If it keeps up, document his actions and then seek a retraining order
  • That is kinda nasty. I think he just wants your pants ;)
  • Tell him to screw off and keep a sawed off doble barrel shot gun under the sheets.... in other words say no no no NOOOOOOOO! (and mean it)
  • you dont need anice respectfull old guy. you need a nice respectfull young guy who can experience with you. no need to panick just get your priorities straight. even if he does love you it doesn't make a difference. you need to take care of your self and not of his needs. if he really does love you he would understand why you can't be in touch with him any more..!
  • why is it that this guy has to have some sort of mental deficiency or be a pervert for liking someone 19 After all it's not like he is drooling ove a 15 year old Maybe he just doesn't have a problem with age as so many of you seem to have I agree that if she doesn't feel anything for him it is best to be direct and straight forward and let the guy know she is not intertested You however don't know how long they have known each other for You also don't know if they have been good friends for awhile. If this guy just barely met her a week ago and they had one or 2 5 minute chats then I would tend to agree he is a little looney for thinking he loves her But if they hav known each other for a few months or a year or more and had alot of interaction with each other maybe she was the first person to treat him decently maybe he sees things in her that he wants in a mate who know maybe you all are right and he is a mental case or a pervert but no one can judge without knowing all the facts. I am sick of people thinking if a guy in his 40's or older likes a late teens or early 20's girl he either has to be a perv looking for sex or a mental case who is gonna stalk her and make life a living hell for her Can't it be entirely possible he is a normal stable guy not looking for sex but just sees things in this girl he doesn't see in oldr women
  • why is it that this guy has to have some sort of mental deficiency or be a pervert for liking someone 19 After all it's not like he is drooling ove a 15 year old Maybe he just doesn't have a problem with age as so many of you seem to have I agree that if she doesn't feel anything for him it is best to be direct and straight forward and let the guy know she is not intertested You however don't know how long they have known each other for You also don't know if they have been good friends for awhile. If this guy just barely met her a week ago and they had one or 2 5 minute chats then I would tend to agree he is a little looney for thinking he loves her But if they hav known each other for a few months or a year or more and had alot of interaction with each other maybe she was the first person to treat him decently maybe he sees things in her that he wants in a mate who know maybe you all are right and he is a mental case or a pervert but no one can judge without knowing all the facts. I am sick of people thinking if a guy in his 40's or older likes a late teens or early 20's girl he either has to be a perv looking for sex or a mental case who is gonna stalk her and make life a living hell for her Can't it be entirely possible he is a normal stable guy not looking for sex but just sees things in this girl he doesn't see in oldr women
  • I will likely be flamed for this but here goes... As you are both adults, I personally see nothing wrong with this sort of relationship IF it is by mutual consent. I've seen (slightly) larger age differences work out great, so let us disregard the 40/19 issue and look at the REAL problem. You're not interested. Forget how old he is and just concentrate on the fact that you don't want a romantic relationship with this man. Tell him that and if he still pursues you then treat him the same way you would treat a hormonally-hyped 20-something.
  • If you don't consider the guy anything more than a friend you should tell him that. Even if the guy was 20 years old, it still wouldn't change the fact that you don't think of him in any other way. Just give the guy straight dope. The sooner you do, the better.
  • Don't worry about it. Just do what you have to do if he starts to stalk you. He fooled himself, that's all. Maybe he'll be shocked into reality and start being interested in more mature women closer to his age.
  • When I started going to a vet's office 20 years ago, it was headed up by two vets that were husband and wife. They evenutally divorced and she left the practice. Mr. Vet and one of his young technicians started dating and got married. He is now the father of two young children and he works like a crazy person and just expanded the practice again. This is working for them because evidentally, the attraction was mutual, she liked the older guy. In your situation, it's clear that you want to keep your relationship just professional and he needs to respect that.
  • go for it and make sure you get your name on the will
  • If you were in my country,this question wouldnt have made headlines,my friend is 18 and he is married to an 80 year old.Do you have a passport?
  • Lmao i love all the comments regarding age gap relationships. I'm 20 yrs old and my partner is 46 yrs old. there is nothing wrong with it at all providing you are on the same wave length and both want the same things eg. the child situation etc. I am aware of how difficult it can become in the future but to me age is just a number i love my partner no differently than i would do someone my age, apart from the fact that i feel so much closer to him than anyone and he means the world to me. Not all older men are just after getting into your knickers. maybe get to know him better before you judge him, if your not interested just be honest with him. If you do go for it i wish you all the best.
  • if you're freaked out the tell him or avoid him and he MIGHT catch on
  • You can't control the feelings of others. If this guy is as good a friend as your question seems to indicate, I would say you owe him an explanation of how you feel. Avoiding him would be just mean.
  • If you're not interested in a romantic relationship with him,then tell him so.He'll live :)
  • Face the fact: He's 40, you're 20. There's nothing that a 40 year NORMAL man could see in a 20 year old. Run as fast you can, unless you like drama, pain, and BS. Have you seen his apartment? Does he live with his mother? Are there certain times that he can;t or won't see you? --Like weekends or holidays. Is he married or not? Does he have a job>? Face the facts!
  • Older guys think young girls are like double-hot... No surprise there... If he's getting wierd and you're uncomfortable, tell him you just want a friend, nothing more. If he respects you he'll leave you alone and not pursue you any further. If not, just stay away. Not all guys handle rejection well. The "I'm 40 and I love you" thing he's picked up from nowhere seems bizzare to me, you didn't do anything to prompt that did you? If not, and you've only had casual conversations, I'm thinking you need to watch out for him. Seems like a potential stalker to me.
  • You didn't ask a question, what is it you want to know?
  • I'd be jumproping with his intestines if you were my daughter - and he meant "love" in a manner of suggesting a bf/gf relationship. I can understand why you at 19 enjoy talking to 40 year olds... You should - and you should be able to enjoy it without being crushed on. If he loves you like a niece - keep talking to him... If he wants in your pants - step off. There are plenty of 40's dudes who will visit with you without trying to get in your pants.
  • I AM A 52 YEAR OLD WOMAN AND I MET A GUY THATS 40..VERY GOOD LOOKING BLUE EYES GREAT BODY TALL..SO IN 3 DAYS HE BROUGHT ME A ROSE..IN 5 DAYS WE HUNG OUT FED THE BIRDS HAD A FEW LAUGHS....THE 7TH DAY HE TOLD ME IM HIS GIRL AND HE LOVED ME....4 DAYS WENT BY NO CALL..BUMPED INTO AN OLD FRIEND OF MINE SHES 40...SHE KNOWS THE GUY I HAVE BEEN HANGING OUT WITH TELLS ME HE IS HAVING SEX WITH HER AND ME THE SAME TIME....SO I LEARNED MY LESSON THE HARD WAY NOT TO MAKE HASTY DECISIONS ON INFATUATION AND REBOUND WHICH I TOTALLY STAND CORRECTED....A 52 Y/O WITH A 40 Y/O IS A NO-NO.. AND A 40 Y/O WITH A 20 Y/O IS A DISASTER.
  • Just tay away from him and do not answer the phone to him and hopefully he will go away. If not call the law to him.
  • I would avoid him. There is a stereotype out there, which often holds true when you see a situation like this. Dirty old man
  • Personally, I do not think it matters what anyone says! we are not here to satisfy the world! Treat people the way you want to be treated and be good to yourself! That means listening to your own heart and gut feelings! It does not matter what others say! We all have our opinions and many are very rude and ignorant about it. What ever you feel is what you should do! I am 39 and I am with a 59 year old and we have no problem with it! We are so compatible and we are so happy together! I do not care what anyone thinks! If I did then I would never be happy! We can't please them all! Just be good to yourself and happiness will follow!
  • If you get with him, you'll regret it by the time you're 25.
  • I would honestly avoid him. It's really unhealthy for him to be that way towards you. You practically pass as his child or student!! I mean, yeah, age doesn't matter, but when it's just unconditional, one-sided love, and you are the one who feels panicked, I would honestly just try and avoid ANY kind of contact with him. If you still feel like you want to be friends with him though, then continue to do so. Just make it very clear to him that you do not inted anything more than just friendship. Watch the things you do, or tell him. Men can read things wrong anytime, even just being friends and talking to them a lot makes them assume that girls like them. So just make it clear for your own sake.
  • Tell him that you're not ready for a commitment yet, if you really are not ready for it. On the other hand there's nothing wrong with it and it might work out. At 19, you need to decide these things for yourself.
  • trust me dear, keep your distance, Ive been in a similar situation, and of course hes going to seem all respectful and caring and nice now because hes different from all the guys your age, but reality will show all he wants is a nice like 19 yr old piece of ass, and im not trying to be rude but i was 18 and was in a similar situation with an older male, but i was so naive (and didnt have answerbag) that I got hurt in the long run because what i was looking for and he was looking for was 2 different things. He's telling you he loves you because he thinks your young and dumb and will fall for that bs, dont be hunny. You can do better.
  • If it doesn't feel right , tell him to keep hid distance and take it at the pace where you feel comfortable. If that mean bye bye baby, tell hime of the prospect now. Lay it out for him. I love you so soon sounds like an emotional guy. As Deputy Sheriff Fife soad "Nip it in the Bud" Not just for you convenience, but your safety, this comes fro a dad who raised 2 good looking girls.
  • well, this is two years later--so what happened? did you go with him and have some fun? Or did you drop the idea because all the ABers scared you off?
  • You need to tell him that, although he's a nice person, you're not interested in a relationship.
  • you're too young to really realize... move on.
  • well dont think more if you love him marry him. if not then dont waste your time and search for some one who can take care of your p
  • You have done nothing wrong and you owe him nothing. If he wants to be friends fine, if he wants more than that tell him you do not. If he persists then terminate whatever relationship you have with him completely.
  • Hes 21 years older than you and thats old enough to be your father Hes having a mid life crisis. Its your decision.

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