My bf of 2 years has decided he needs to make sure I am the "one" and in order to do that he has moved out, joined a dating site and told me he has to make sure no one else can turn his head away from me.I told him someone will coz he's looking.Thoughts?
by 
anglrckx
ANSWERS: 74
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I'd tell him that YOU were going to join a dating site too, And DO it!
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I don't understand his thinking here. I guess my question is, Will you be able to go on with your life while he's out there doing god knows what with whoever? Are you just going to sit around and wait on him, and if so how long? And why a dating service, seems kind of desperate to me. Good luck with that.
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Dump him now. And get a mental health check for even listening to this bull.
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I think that is his way of saying he wants out without looking like a bad guy for dumping you. Even though he is doing it because he is looking for a more fitting relationship to see whether or not you are the one. Shouldn't he alreay know that answer one way or the other from just being with you for two years? Or at least have some clue. I think this is a bamboozle and he is looking to find someone else.
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Sweetie, this guy has lost his mind. I would think seriously about ever taking him back. Seems like he has made his decision to leave you and sample what is "out there".
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you should dumb because he is definately not the one
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You have to be kidding right? My thoughts on this are forget about him and find yourself someone else. I think his intentions aren't to make sure you are the one. This is his way of messing around and when he gets tired of it he will come back and tell you that "He couldn't find anyone to turn his head away from you" and continue with you where things were left off as if nothing happened.
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I think you hit the nail on the head. Better to find out now than later, though.
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I just call that cheating. What a jerk!
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Only two words come to mind, you pick which fits him best okay? Jerk or Butthole
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Dump him! He is disrespecting you are your relationship by openly cheating on you and saying he wants to make sure you are the one. You need to find someone better and not put you life on hold for a loser! Why do you want to wait for someone else to tell you what to do with your life? Find someone new! Good Luck!
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I say.. he just wants to try something different, and he aint worth it a shit to be waiting on.. Loose the looser, dont waste your time waiting on him, he aint worth it.. girl you deserve better than that... girl dont let him diz you like that kick this ass to the curve.... cuz i know i would....
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If he is looking at other women, you are definitely not "the one". Of course, no such miracle exists - we all have faults. You may be the best he will ever meet - but that does not make you miraculous. Dump the fool and tell him to consider coming back when he has grown up - if you haven't found someone a damned sight better before then.
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hi angl! Rather bold move to find someone else, while keeping you on the line. Not good hun. :)
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I think he needs to radically alter his understanding a how a relationship works. Ask him to explain it this way to other male/female friends, then for him to assess their response. (I doubt he'll listen openly to you). If he doesnt/cant change, dump him.
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Forget him! Start looking again too! If he isn't sure that you are the one after that long than forget him and find someone else! He sounds pretty ignornat!
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This guy is a coward. He wants to break up, but doesn't have the b*lls to do it outright. He may be fooling himself (I doubt it though), but don't let him fool you. Move onward and upward. You can do better.
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He used that as an excuse to break up with you. He's probably eying others. Two years is more than adequate time to learn someone. Don't waste more of your time with him, move on with your life. All the best!
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Sounds to me like he is fulla what makes the grass so green, and is using that lame excuse to "tomcat" around. If it were me I would let him know that his actions convinced that he is NOT the one for me, and thank him for opening my eyes and then move on.
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Tell him not to bother, that you have already made the decision for him: *he* is not the 'one' for you. Move on hon, life is too short for this crap.
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Do the same to him!
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Oh brother. My thought is move on - and fast and as far away from this a-hole as possible.
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You have it exactly right. Love and finding 'the one' is a choice. There are many wonderful people in the world and finding the person you want to be with is about compatibility, compromise and chemistry. He's fooling himself, thank goodness he's not fooling you.
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Honey I would tell him he wasn't the one for me and thanks for letting me know this before I made a huge mistake.
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well as others have said dump him now dont let him take advantage of you i really love my bf of only 8 months and i know it can be hard but if my bf told me this BS story i'd have to break up with him
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Excellent. I think that was the right thing to do. How did he take it?
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If you haven't already thrown him out on his ass if I was you I would quote him my favorite Ray Charles song Hit the road Jack and don't you come back no more no more no more no more hit the road jack and don't you come back no more I think he'll get the message
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If he already dosen't know ansewer to his own doubts then you you need to move on before he strays
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ummm, your bf has just broken up with you. (and his reasoning is so trite, unoriginal and weak) but i think you know that already. of course someone else will turn his head b/c he is still looking. my thoughts? delete his telephone number(s) out of your cell phone, block his email address, don't take any of his calls, get your locks changed, don't answer your door if he shows up and make sure he's off all your bank accounts and credit cards if you haven't done that already. then, go join the Land of the Available and Dating yourself. as for bf -- who?
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Well, he's a weird one, isn't he? If I were you, I'd see how it plays out. If you're of the inclination, tell him it's a wonderful idea and you'll be doing the same. If he follows through and really leaves, you're better off without him.
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This is a load of shit he's giving you so he can cheat and you will wait for him. Who needs that? Trade him in for another one. They made thousands more the same day they made him.
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Please make sure you get him off anything you've got or if he owes you for anything get it as soon as possible first. It sounds like he has already moved on & he's just saying this lame excuse to try & keep you waiting. Don't fall for it, you deserve better. There are more fish in the sea honey you don't need that dang crab!
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Dump him......For if you wait for him till he comes back. He will bring all that he may of been with back to you. And you don't want what he may of got from someone else. Just my point of view..........M.C.S.
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Dumb Ass break up excuses: *It's not you, it's me. *I need to take some space. *I need to date others to make sure you're the one. *I'm just feellng so confused right now. anglrckx --- you can rank them or you can reply as follows: I agree, it is you, you are confused, you are not the one for ME and feel free to take all the space you want, as a matter of fact if you could put a whole galaxy or two between us that would suit me just fine. thank you and good by. forever.
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Run!
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You are very correct in your thinking. Men often use the excuse that they need to play the field to make sure that some woman is the right one. This is just an excuse that men use because they either dont want to commit, cant commit, or just want to play around with other women. My main question here would be this; After your man plays the field and perhaps sleeps around with other woman, why would you even want him back? It would be like having a nice new car and then giving it away for 10, 20, 30, or God knows how many others to drive and use for their own for God knows how long? After alll theser strangers used my car and did God only knows what all in it, I would not want it back. Or maybe a bed would be a better anology. If it was me, and your bf came back after all this playing the field, every time we made out or had sex, I would always be seeing and thinKing about the others that he had been with. I would tell you bf that he wants to play the field, then go, but do not come back.
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To me it's not even relevant whether he finds someone else or not. That is wrong on so many levels. His way of thinking is a little wacky.
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I would suggest you purchase a tall ladder and a pair of hipwaders cause he's feeding you a line of shit so deep you're going to drown if you don't climb that ladder!! Put on the hipwaders just in case some of the shit accidentally reaches your feet.
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I think your boyfriend is not happy in the relationship, but doesn't know what to do. He cares and I think is probably being honest with you, but feels like he is falling out of love with you when really he is just in a rut. My advise however is that he has started to down a differant path and trying "ultra" hard to make him happy would only make him feel like you are trying to control him. Try to make yourself happy, and understand he cares, but is just confused and needs time to think...but dont hold on.
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You are 100% right! U find what u seek in this world. But i can sympathize with what he is going through. I often wonder if i should do the same thing.
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I don't want to be so blunt as to hurt you, but if he thought you were "the one" he wouldn't have to think about it. It's just a polite way of keeping you on good terms and his convenience. I am basically going through the same thing as we speak!
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That is not a good way to find out if you are the 'one'. He should just be able to feel it everytime you are with him. Seeing other people to make sure he won't feel like straying is absolutely ridiculous. It will not make you closer unless he has chains and locks strapped to his pants and your the only one with the key. It sounds like he is trying to pull cheating the 'safe way' so he still has you on the side and the other woman that won't make his 'head turn' i'm sorry. bad news is no fun but it seems like you can do better. good luck!!
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...and you are supposed to do what in the meantime? If he does it to you now and comes back, what guarantee do you have that he will not continue in this mode in the future? I say dump him..he certainly doesn't respect, love or value you. What more do you need to know?
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Sounds like you guys broke up and you didn't get the memo.
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Sounds like you should let him go, he's wanting to play a little.
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It was his dishonest way of getting out of the relationship. I hope that you walk away from him..don't look back and get out there and have fun! There is someone out there for you! He is not worth even one moment of your time ever again.
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He probably just needs some time to think and figure out if you are the one by testing the relationship. I can see where he is coming from, but that doesn't necessarily mean that he is a jerk. At least he was honest with you. I'm sure he'll come back around. Just don't call him or talk to him for now until he knows what he wants. Wait a few days or maybe even a week before you pick up his phone calls. This might make him realize what it is he lost and it also builds suspense when you go without communicating for a few days.
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Logic at work......
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I think you should tell him it's such a great idea that you are going to do the same thing. You might want to throw in which of his friends you've had fantasies about and think you should go out with just to be sure they are not the one!
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As ridiculous as this questions sounds I have heard of this. That not making it any "lighter" for you I will say this - Someone, anyone will have heads turn his, yours who evers - if he is meaning that he wants to make sure he is never going to want to look at anyone other than you again he mid-as-well set his alarm clock for a long reality show that is about to occur. Take Haley Berry, Pamela Anderson and the like - they have been cheated on (I think they are beautiful beyond beautiful and yet they get cheated on)- NO ONE is perfect and NO ONE is going to get into ANY relationships without there being any temptations. It is totally up to him to NOT give into those temptations. Without rambling on - I would say he did YOU a favor by moving out. There are men out there that will NEVER need to join any service because when they love someone it's just that. No move or dating services needed.
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He moved out so he could see if you were the one. Does that make any sense to you? Your boyfriend is not ready to settle down. He still wants to have fun and look at other women. If he didn't then why did he move out and join a dating site. Apparently you are not enough for him and he is looking for something else. I would move on. You can do better than that and you DESERVE better.
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one word can describe your boyfriend: dumb. he's setting himself free so that he have opportunities to look for someone that's better. obviously, if hes trying to look for someone, he's probably going to end up finding someone. if you're the "one" he'd know. he doesn't need to do all this just to test it out.
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it sounds like you are the one but hes not he wants you to wait and if he doesn't find someone as good as you or maybe just new he'll be back i say kick him to the door open it kick him out and move on and if it doesnt work out for you tell him if someone turns your head.......... i think you get it your pretty smart
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Well, it sounds to me like he's playing games with you. Why would he put himself in a situation where he could fall for someone else if he is really that serious about you? It just doesn't make any sense to me.
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YOU SHOULD TELL HIM THE SAME THING AND THEN DO IT.
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he's obviously not for you then. if he's looking, then obviously someone is gonna come to mind and turn his head away from you. maybe he's just confused. but i really dont think thats the right way to fix your relationship.he should already know your the one if he really loves you and he knows that you love him.i mean come one its been 2 yrs.
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You're in the right train of thoughts and its time to let him go. 2 years is long enough to know someone if they're "the one". I made the mistake of waiting 6 years after our engagement to finally walk out because he couldn't commit to a wedding.
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It sounds like your bf is full of sh** and is only runnin' that game on you because you're falling for it. I have two words girl you should tell him....."boy, bye!"
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well this is typicall for guys that have been in a long serious relationship and have some doubts. agree with him and you start seeing other ppl too. trust me if he loves you he will come back as soon as he knows that your seeing other ppl too
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If you were the one, he wouldn't have left and the thought of a dating site /other women wouldn't have crossed his mind in the first place. Tell him he's not the one for you if thats the case and move on.
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Well, to answer that question is. Let him go. And you go on with your life. Because if someone has to go on the online dating, It is very clear they are not interested in you. You deserve so much better. When someone truly loves you. They will not do that too you. They will stay and work it out. The problem in today society, is people don't have that faithfulness. And that in it self is sad. Be of good cheer. Because there is someone out there that will love you for you unconditionally. And they will look beyond all your faults. And they will know your worth. And will embrace your special quality. And they will see your beauty.
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two words you should tell him: good bye.
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Guys need there space its understandable... Me and my boyfriend have been together almost 2 years and he's told me he needed space and yeah I was scared but I did.. and to his surprise I was understanding... And he knows where home is... think of it this way just be the great woman that you are and give him space. not the space where your vengeful... Give him the care and support... He'll see that yoru the woman in his life...
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Either he is fooling himself or he is trying to throw out a line to see if he can catch anything. What does he expect you to do while he is out searching for his true love, sit around and wait like a faithful puppy? I don't think there is a person out there that is so wonderful that another might not be able to turn their head. If he really loves you he needs to be with you making relationship which will be strong enough to resist temptation from the fruit of another.
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I feel that he is using excuses in order to be with other people. Instead of being honest and being a man about things he have to come up with something so stupid rather telling you the truth. All he had to say was that he wants to be with other people. If I was you I wouldn't go back to him, because that's letting you know that he's not honest or faithful.Why do he have to do thet just to make sure if he wants to be with you or not? He wanted to be with other people anyway
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I think that your 'ex' bf is a complete f**kwit & you deserve someone who is going to treat you properly. I'm sorry but I'm shocked at his calousness & lack of respect. If he wants to shag around then he should have had the decency to split up without making some pathetic excuse, as if he's doing you a favour. You're beautiful & intelligent, find someone you deserve. Thats actually made me angry!!!
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Here's a question to ask yourself: Do you think he's the one? I know this is a hard thing to hear but anyone that has chosen to do things that are clearly going to hurt someone you even love remotely (aka try and meet other people and remove himself from your life completely by moving out) isn't someone for you. Moving out is on thing, hurtful but could possibly make sense to try and figure things out on his own. But purposely going online or out in the hopes of meeting someone is clearly not a person showing any signs of love or concern for your emotions. You guys need to have a very serious talk. And you need to really ask yourself if you can love him and take him back especially if he does meet someone.
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It sounds like he wants out, but wants to keep you around, just in case. I think it's time to let him go, but don't stick around to see if you're good enough. You're way too good to be treated like that.
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seesm like a stupid rationalization on his behalf but hey what's good for the goose is good for the gander they say! Do the same to him and see how he feels or just end it..sounds like he's playing games to me.
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Relationships are about commitment, self sacrifice and exclusivity, not voodoo and games. He's a jerk. Dump him. Next time, get married before you move in and at least you won't have a jerk who moves out when he's done with you. If he is that kind of guy, he won't move in to begin with. If he's a real man, he'll man up and make a vow.
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I'd say he was trying to leave and 'letting you down gently'. So, best course would be, leave him completely, he's already half-way gone and looking for a booty call, and find someone better.
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i agree with you. No matter how old you are, or how long you have been married, there is always going to be someone who turns your head. There is always going to be someone who you are attracted to, or like. Sounds like he isn't afraid of losing you. Remember, you could always find someone else you like better too. Maybe he hasnt thought about that...
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he obviously doesnt care about you because if he did he would just know you were the one he wouldn't need to make up some bogus excuse
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Tell him you wish him the best of luck on his dating site because he's going to need it, as he's now single.
jtolb65 
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